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postscript

Summary:

"for life is not a paragraph
And death i think is no parenthesis" -- e. e. cummings

Notes:

for jo and kim :) bc i obviously hate myself
prompt:: after the end of the world

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

There are a lot of postscripts in Taehyung's life--PS, I left my keys on the table by the door and I don't think I locked the door but I don't really remember; PS, there's cake in the fridge, the kind you like, with the taro and the icecream and the fruits on top and they're not bad this time, I promise; PS, you didn't bring your favorite tie; PS, I'm bringing it to you but you don't know that yet ;D

PS, I love you and you know that already.

Kim Taehyung hums as he packs his bags, just a tiny little suitcase for stuff he might need for the next two days. There are plane tickets on the bedside table and his phone by his pile of underwear. Jungkook's tie is currently folded right at the top of his suitcase, and he grins as he tosses his underwear in, toothbrush, toothpaste, the cologne that Jungkook likes...

Taehyung looks around, I think that's it.

He flicks through his text messages, fingers poised over the keys as he waits for the Uber taxi to arrive at his front door (which it does after another minute and a half, right on predicted schedule), but he decides against texting. A surprise done right should be a proper surprise, though he might have some trouble trying to track down the hotel Jungkook is staying at in Morocco, but that's a problem for when he gets there.

There's a giddiness bubbling in his stomach as the black car pulls out onto the freeway and zips off towards the airport. It's only a 32-minute drive and when Taehyung checks his watch at the airport entrance, he finds that he is 45 minutes early. Budget airlines, though, so the earlier the better. He makes for the check-in and everything checks out (hehe, get it? he marks it down in his phone's Notepad because he might be able to fit that into his retelling of this epic surprise planning when he recounts it to Jungkook later), and he wanders about the airport cafes, striking up a few conversations with the baristas asking him where he's going, dressed so well.

"To see my boyfriend--yeah he's on a business trip and he forgot his favorite tie--yep, I'm going to bring it over, but it's a surprise--hehe, I guess you can say he's pretty lucky to have me."

The pretty girl smiles and waves him off with an extra chocolate chip muffin as Taehyung makes for his terminal.

PS, I should've asked for one more muffin, but I got hungry, so...

Taehyung quite likes plane rides. He likes the rise and drop, the feeling of floating and falling. He likes rollercoasters too, but maybe this is a bit different. He closes his eyes and laces his fingers over his lap as the plane takes off, breaking through the first layer of clouds as the captain's voice informs them that it'll be quite a long flight, but not to worry as the crew will do their best to provide the absolute tip-top service to make the journey as comfortable as possible.

Budget-airlines, so there are no movies unless he pays for them, and Jungkook's voice chides in Taehyung's ear that 8.99 for a movie really isn't worth it. Not when they can stream it online anyways and Taehyung smiles, picturing cuddling up with Jungkook on a hotel bed somewhere in Morocco, the sunset painting the sky outside the window, the summer falling around them in blankets of velvet sky, studded with stars, settling down to watch a movie with Jungkook's arms around him and--

PS, I miss you, like really really miss you. Do you miss me too?

Taehyung falls asleep somewhere around hour four and he dreams of flying with Jungkook by his side, without the weight of the plane to weigh them down, just the two of them twisting through rainbow clouds of spectrum skies.

PS, I am, so, so, so in love. Can you tell?

He's jolted awake by a sudden wave of turbulence, the great metal belly of the plane rumbling as the cabin shakes. Taehyung grumbles and shifts in his seat, trying to find a more comfortable position against the small window outside which dusk is beginning to set in. The light is falling as Taehyung peers out over the world and somehow, it is closer than he'd expected it to be. He watches the world turn in slow motion, mind muddled with cabin-pressured dreams. His stomach is telling him that they must be landing, but that can't be right, it just can't--they've still got hours to go before they reach Morocco.

The realization hits with the ground, swelling up to meet them as the metal flanks on the plane's wings flare up to try and slow the fall.

The earth breaks around them and Taehyung doesn't remembering being tossed about in the wreckage, only the voices, confused, terrified voices that flicker in and out of focus as first a wave of heat washes over him, then an unsettling breath of cool. He finds himself lying in a wreckage of metal shards shrieking voices and he can't think for all the commotion.

PS, it's a mess, it's a mess, and it’s a mess. You would hate it--you've never liked messy or noisy places.

PS, thank god you aren't here.

Taehyung closes his eyes and tries to sort out the list of events that must have transpired. The plane fell, the plane crashed, there are screaming people everywhere. The pilot is dead, so is half the crew. Then what am I doing alive? Taehyung tries to move and finds that he can't. He can't feel his feet, or his legs, or really much else below the line of his chest. There should be pain, but there isn't. Not yet. Just shock, and a kind of gentle disorientation. Maybe I'm just dreaming--oh, nope, there it is, there's the pain--nope, definitely not dreaming.

The sky is falling and Taehyung is pretty sure something is burning nearby, though his ears are still being finicky and flickery and he kind of likes it better this way. It's as if he's in the eye of this torrential storm and while everything around him spins and spins and breaks, Taehyung is calm, or if not calm, then at least calmer than everyone else around him. They are concerned with living, surviving. Perhaps it’s because Taehyung knows that there's no chance.

He's never been one to argue with the inevitable, not like Jungkook. Jungkook would fight and fight and fight till the very last second.

PS, I'm really glad you're not here, but I kinda wish you were. Just kinda.

Taehyung somehow manages to rummage out his phone and oh, my arm works--awesome. And upon bringing the phone up to his eyes, he finds that they work also, and those Otterbox cases really do survive everything because his phone isn't even cracked. Even when he's pretty sure his own legs are shattered.

Three bars, not bad.

He presses Speed Dial 1 and presses the phone to his ear, closes his eyes and prays. Please pick up.

And Jungkook does.

"Hello?"

"Hey," Taehyung smiles and breathes out. One, two, three, count them--you don't have many left.

"Hey... what's up?" Jungkook's voice is soft by Taehyung's ear and it's as if the world's gone quiet. And it has. The screaming's quieted down and those who can run have run, gone off to get help. Maybe one of them would have had the idea to call the cops, maybe someone with more than one last phone call.

"Nothing much... just missed you."

Jungkook laughs his tired laugh and Taehyung can hear Jungkook's clothes rustling, "Miss you too--just got out of the meeting for the night. We're supposed to go to dinner in like half an hour, but I think I forgot--"

"--your favorite tie," Taehyung finishes with a giggle, "I noticed."

"So I did forget it. Thought I might have lost it or something."

Oops, Taehyung thinks with a slight wince, but he takes a breath and says, "I thought about flying over and bringing it to you, surprising you, y'know?"

"Aw," Jungkook coos, "I've got a surprise for you too--I'm coming home a day early. So I'm actually flying home tonight, after dinner--meetings went a ton faster than we thought they would so I booked an earlier flight home. Missed you too much."

Taehyung smiles and lets out a little sigh, "Well then, thank god I didn't fly out."

Jungkook hums. "Thank god you didn't."

There's a silence that bubbles in Taehyung's chest. Words are getting harder, but there's still so much more he wants to say. Thoughts are getting harder, and the world is going dark, but there are still so many things rushing through his head, so many postscripts he hasn't written yet.

"Hey, I love you."

Jungkook laughs, "Thanks, I know."

Taehyung laughs too, "I mean it, you know."

Jungkook makes a squelchy kissing sound through the phone, "Love you too, well I gotta go--dinner and all that, but... I'll see you tonight?"

Taehyung heaves a tiny sigh. "Yeah... see you tonight. I love you."

"Love you more," Jungkook says, sounds of clothes, sounds of dressers being opened and closed.

"Love you most."

Taehyung lets the phone fall from his ear and for the first time since the beginning of the conversation, he lets himself breathe out, properly, heavily, like the world is ending right in front of his eyes and it is. There are siren sounds and helicopter sounds and they must have been not that far away from civilization even though all Taehyung can see is trees and sky and the slightly damp earth beneath his skin.

Taehyung's life seems like it's made of postscripts, of afterthoughts, of thoughts that happen after afterthoughts. And he's always liked it that way. But Jeon Jungkook is not a postscript. No, from the day they met, Taehyung has never been more sure of anything else. No, Jeon Jungkook is the subject, and Taehyung is just the byline. Jungkook is the title, the body, the weight and words and Taehyung wishes he could be more than punctuation, more than the comma or period to all of Jungkook's sentences, but a story wouldn't be a story without the punctuation right? Taehyung hopes so.

He wishes he could be the dot-dot-dot at the end of Jungkook's story that trails off into infinity. He wishes he could be the fin after the "Happily Ever After". He wishes he could be the postscript, the thought that lingers even after the closing paragraph. After the last goodbye.

PS, I miss you.
PS, I love you.
PS, at least you were the end of my forever, even if I couldn't be yours.

PS, promise that someday when you flip through the pages of your life, you'll pause over the commas and periods that were me, and the semicolons that were our laughter and dreams. Promise me that even when you flip the page, you'll remember how they sounded against your skin.

PS, promise me... that I won't just be a postscript.

PS, I love you
PS, no, I definitely love you most.

PS, I'm really sorry about your favorite tie. Forgive me?

Notes:

O_O this was meant to just be some headcanon to torture kim with oh my god im so sorry i just

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