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'There is nothing in the world, neither man nor devil nor anything else, that is so suspicious to me as love, for it penetrates the soul more than anything else. There is nothing that occupies and binds the heart more than love. That is why, when it has no weapons to govern itself, the soul sinks, through love, into the deepest of ruins.'
/*/*/*/*/
It was a gray, wintry morning, one of those days when you know you are not going to see the sun, and there is no time of the year when you miss the sun more than in the month of December, when the thermometers are close to zero degrees and when the cold gets into your bones.
However, in front of her, a small island could be glimpsed through the fog that surrounded the sea that morning. The icy winter chill caressed her face and her cheeks and the tip of her nose immediately reddened. She squinted her eyes trying to see what was visible of this new island (to which the log pose was not pointing) and the first thing her eyes noticed was the number of bones that blanketed the land like piles of snow.
A shiver ran down her back and before the thought of getting away from that island was out of her mouth an exclamation was already heard from atop the Sunny-go's mastiff.
''An island!''
A snap of teeth and a frown. Nami didn't like the idea of her captain again causing some trouble on an unfamiliar island that was pointing to be a swarm of trouble. They had had enough trouble in Wano and not to mention Onigashima. Perhaps a vacation would do them all some good.
Immediately everyone began to leave their rooms. Everyone's eyes were sparkling with curiosity as to 'what new adventure awaited them' and it was a bit romantic to live like this. To wake up every day on an unexplored island and to go to sleep at night by a campfire with the people you love the most around you.
''Ohh it's a winter island'' said Chopper excitedly. And no wonder, it reminded him of home and to tell the truth, thinking about snow and cold also brought back nostalgic memories for Nami.
''Th-that's why.. it's s-so unbearably c-cold'' shivered Ussop as he hugged himself trying to give himself warmth in his arms.
''Looks like an interesting island'' Zoro said aloud, clearly seeing the bones that adorned the entrance.
''A homely decoration'' replied Robin.
Nami turned her head to where Robin was looking, the fog was beginning to clear and she could see perfectly well stakes sticking out of the sea, tall oaken stakes from which skulls hung and skeletons were nailed to wrecked ships. Nami swallowed thickly, feeling how the empty sockets of those skulls seemed to stare back at her.
''Homely?'' Ussop pointed towards the skulls raising an eyebrow in disagreement ''That's clearly a message, a warning! We should leave before we end up like those poor bastards.''
''Come on Ussop, what was about 'I'll be the best warrior of the seas' '' a new person joined the conversation. Sanji came out of the kitchen holding a couple of cups of hot chocolate on a tray, first offering one to Robin and one to Nami ''Besides, Luffy already got the idea of visiting that island, just look at him'' Sanji smiled.
Nami and Ussop turned to look at Luffy who had just left the boys' room and was already dressed in a full adventure kit. A huge backpack filled with food and nothing that would really help him to explore the island, Luffy only had to rely on his animal instinct for survival. He also carried a net to hunt insects, which was ironic because Nami doubted that at that temperature they would find any insects. But otherwise, the outfit he wore was simple, a black hooded jacket and his usual shorts and flip-flops. To this day it was a mystery how Luffy could endure those low temperatures wearing simple flip-flops, but sometimes it was better to ignore those things on Luffy.
''Anyway, the log pose doesn't point to this island... which is quite suspicious in the New World'' began Nami drawing everyone's attention ''so whatever stupid things you're going to do, do them fast.’’
''Nami is right, we shouldn't stray from the route marked by the log pose Luffy-kun'' added Jimbe in a calm and serene voice. Clearly, he was calm, he was an ex-shichibukai and someone very powerful, but something about that island made Nami uncomfortable but she didn't want to say it out loud let alone be the spoilsport.
''Aren't you coming Nami?" Luffy approached her.
Nami watched him curiously and maybe it was because she wasn't wearing her heels that day but when she got close to him she noticed that Luffy seemed to have grown up again or maybe his confrontation against Kaido had made him a little more mature? Nami was sure Luffy would have thrown a tantrum about being ordered to return from the island soon, he liked his adventures, exploring without fear and discovering new things. But there was Luffy, in front of her, curiously asking her if she wasn't going with him on this new adventure.
''Didn't you see those bones over there? I'm not setting foot on that island'' Nami pointed towards the island's bay.
''We can draw lots for who goes and who stays'' Zoro suggested and it wasn't a bad idea, in Thriller bark they did that too although Nami had never been someone with much luck in those draws.
And while the rest were discussing who would go and who would stay at the Sunny, Nami noticed that Luffy was still looking at her strangely.
''What?" asked Nami quizzically.
And without warning, Luffy placed his palm on Nami's forehead and leaned in so that their faces were closer and that caused the redness on Nami's face to intensify.
''Wh-wh-what.... are you doing?'' she reproached him trying to push Luffy's hand away from her forehead.
''You're very red, just like that time'' Luffy replied, his tone of voice more serious.
''Like that time?'' she asked aloud as she took a few steps backwards until she was cornered between the sunny-go mastiff and Luffy.
''Yeah, when you got sick.''
Nami immediately understood what he was referring to when she was bitten by that insect in Little Garden and they had to look for a doctor on Drum Island. She remembers it perfectly because she was about to die, but in spite of the bad thing thanks to it they met Chopper.
''I'm fine now Luffy,'' she avoided his gaze ''it's because of the cold'' and she wasn't lying, it was true she was cold and she had been on the deck of the Sunny longer than the rest. However, Luffy known for his stubbornness proceeded to continue watching her. ''Can you stop staring at me?!'' Nami said defensively, her voice trembled slightly and she rested her hands on Luffy's chest trying to gently push him away from her.
''Why are you avoiding looking at me then?'' Luffy raised an eyebrow.
Nami opened her mouth ready to defend herself and complain, but immediately shut it. Deep down she knew Luffy had a point, but neither did she quite know why that was happening to her. She began to notice this behavior after Onigashima, since she heard Kaido lie about Luffy's death, then something began to change inside her slowly and slowly. It was as if something inside her had broken into a thousand pieces, something she had been building for a long time.
Then in the celebration of the victory against Kaido's pirates, Nami could not even stay close to Luffy, she avoided him, any excuse was valid not to be near him, and to tell the truth, the little Otama had been very helpful to ignore that feeling that gnawed her.
She had been the one who had taken care of Luffy following Chopper's medical indications, while Hiyori had taken care of Zoro's wounds and she remembers Hiyori's expression as if she was seeing her right now. That expression of infatuation, of longing and desire. And she wondered if she would look the same while caring for Luffy. She had an idea of what that feeling was but Nami felt it like she was choking like she had a snake coiled around her throat slowly leaving her without air.
Or maybe it was fear of being rejected. Nami didn't want to ask Zoro much regarding that matter, but she did hear Hiyori's last sentence of farewell towards her nakama: ''Take care of my heart, I've left it with you.''
And we were talking about Luffy. Nami knew him better than anyone else and he wasn't or didn't seem to be interested in that kind of matters. Telling him something about how her heart races when she has him around or when he smiles would be awkward and unnecessary, what if he rejected her? What if Luffy stopped treating her the way he had been treating her so far? What if they lost their friendship forever? If Luffy stopped caring for her or calling her with his cheerful tone of voice it would be even more painful than pretending not to have those feelings for him.
And under that fear, Nami locked up her heart.
''I don't avoid looking at you'' Nami growled, this time staring Luffy in the eyes while inwardly pleading with her heart to stop beating so fast or he would be able to hear it.
Luffy was about to make it clear to her that he knew her better than anyone and hated that she was lying to him like that when Chopper entered the scene as he had been listening to their conversation for a while now.
''Nami... maybe you are coming down with a cold?'' Chopper suggested. Nami looked down and snorted loudly.
''Will you leave me alone once you confirm that I'm okay?'' Nami folded her arms somewhat annoyed. Luffy and Chopper exchanged glances and then both nodded and smiled.
And to Nami's surprise, both Luffy and Chopper were right. She looked at the thermometer in her hands in disbelief, she had a few tenths of a fever but overall she felt as usual and had simply put her low energy that morning down to the weather.
''See?'' Luffy told her with a mischievous grin on his face.
''Okay fine, for this time I'll say you're right'' Nami smiled at him ''But I'm really feeling fine, there's no need for anyone to stay with me on the Sunny'' she said, this time referring to the rest of her nakama who were listening.
''Are you sure?'' asked Ussop ''I have no problem staying and taking care of you'' he added with a wide smile, then Sanji grabbed Ussop by the ear pulling it tightly ''Ayayay!''
''What you want is not to go to that island because you have the can't-step-on-that-island disease '' Sanji growled at him.
''It looks like a simple cold'' started Chopper '', but I'm worried that the fever will go higher and I don't have the necessary medicinal herb to bring down the fever''' he said with a worried tone of voice.
''That island seems to have an untouched jungle, surely we can find plants there'' suggested Robin.
Everyone seemed to agree that the day's adventure could wait, finding the medicinal plant had become the goal for the day, and the strawhat’s split into several groups to investigate the island. Nami was accompanied by Luffy and Chopper to her room to make sure she lay down and promised to do nothing but rest until they arrived with the medicine.
''No need to cover me with more blankets'' Nami smiled watching as Luffy covered her with three more blankets. She was beginning to feel a little pressed under the weight of so many blankets.
''We'll be back as fast as we can'' Chopper said, waving his paw.
Nami nodded and then her eyes were glued on Luffy who was watching her without saying anything.
''I'm fine... really'' she told him clearly, referring to him and only him. Luffy opened his eyes and smiled in a tender and childish way, then he said goodbye, turning off the lights and promising her that they would be back soon.
In the darkness of her room, Nami curled up seeking the warmth of the blankets and feeling how her eyelids began to get heavy. Perhaps Luffy was more observant than she thought. Normally Luffy didn't look like the kind of guy who paid attention to small details, conversations, or the context of situations in general, but to Nami's surprise maybe Luffy was more attentive than she and the rest of her nakama thought.
And unconsciously she smiled and kicked the sheets with her legs as a small, joyful laugh escaped from between her lips. Then with a cooler head, she was ashamed of her behavior and was thankful she was alone in the room, otherwise Robin would have surely laughed at her and her adolescent behavior, her being in love with Luffy? It sounded... ridiculous just thinking about it. But if there was one thing Nami was sure of, it was that if at any time she was asked what she was thinking about she would always answer that Luffy was the correct answer to that question.
Nami changed her posture this time looking up at the ceiling and with her hands on her chest. She took a deep breath letting the air out slowly as she asked herself a question 'How was it possible that a feeling as beautiful as love also had thorns brushing against a heart?'. Fear and love seemed like two sides of a coin and maybe fear was winning that battle inside Nami.
Only Luffy is and will be the owner of the key that opens the door to Nami's heart, only he has the right to do with that key whatever he wants, throw it into the sea, forget it and even bury it and still those feelings she has for him will never change.
Abruptly Nami covered her face with the sheets imagining the kind of expression Luffy might put on if she told him that, would he ever understand? She wasn't sure.
/*/*/*/*/*
A scant hour had passed. Nami opened her eyes even more asleep than awake, her vision was blurry and breathing was difficult. Her whole body was drenched in sweat and she felt like she was inside an oven. Sitting up a little awkwardly, she realized that she had no energy and that she was a little dizzy.
Nami wasn't a doctor, let alone had half as much medical knowledge about illnesses as Chopper, but she was smart enough to understand that her fever had spiked and that perhaps she was in a more serious situation than she thought.
She pushed the blankets aside and suddenly the whole room seemed to spin. She gritted her teeth, she couldn't move without feeling like she was going to fall over at any second. Nami leaned against the curb of the bed to sit up, her legs were shaking but she looked good enough to make it out of that room so she could get some fresh air. And it was while she was walking up the stairs from the room to the outside that she heard voices.
''Maybe Luffy and the others are back already'' she said aloud to herself.
However, once she stepped outside, her surprise was greater when she saw the silhouette of two men she didn't recognize at all. One was tall and stocky, with a grim face and a prominent nose and the other was probably about her height, slimmer, and the only one carrying a sword at his belt.
''Wow wow what do we have around here'' said the short one as he stroked his beard and looked at Nami.
Shit, Nami thought taking a couple of steps back.
''You said they had all gone to the island'' the tall one growled at his crony.
''I don't think this kitty will be an inconvenience to our plans'' said the short one looking at Nami with lustful eyes.
Nami cursed silently. She was in no condition to fight and on top of that the clima-tact was in her room and she didn't know if she would manage to get to it before she was caught by those two pirates. But it was her only chance and she had no plan B to follow, she would bet all her luck on her first plan.
''Luffy!'' she exclaimed pointing behind the two pirates, at the same time as they both turned around with a pale face Nami launched herself over the stairs running with all her might and praying that those pair of fools wouldn't catch up with her in time.
However, it was when she reached the last step that one of them grabbed her by the hair and pulled her backwards falling to her knees on the ground and feeling the roots of her hair burning on her head from the strong pull.
''Thought you could fool us like that huh?'' the tall one growled as he pulled her hair harder and Nami screamed in pain.
The pirate threw her down hard and Nami's back slammed into her dresser causing the mirror to shatter into a thousand pieces. In pain, Nami tried to sit up and suddenly her room was red. Frightened she knelt on the floor ignoring the second pirate who entered her room and watched the scene. Nami put her hand to her forehead, she had made a gash and the blood kept gushing out, obstructing her vision.
''Don't worry, our captain doesn't mind sleeping with scarred women'' the last one to enter the room smiled while approaching Nami and grabbing her cheeks with one hand forcing her to look him in the face ''And me... neither'' he whispered showing his teeth.
Nami filled with courage and with her last energies raised a leg and hit the pirate's crotch making him fall to the ground while screaming in pain. The short one unsheathed his katana and it was at that instant, at the height of the shoulder that Nami saw a tattoo on the skin of that pirate.
Three skulls, one facing a different direction. The emblem of the pirates of Kurohige. Did that mean that this yonkou and his crew were on that island? A shiver ran through her whole body.
Move. Move. Move. She kept telling herself while looking at her legs, but her body didn't respond. Kurohige was the one who captured Ace, Luffy's brother, who basically led to his death. It was his fault that Luffy had to go through such a horrible time all alone.
And suddenly the fear focused on Luffy. What if her nakamas were fighting to the death with a yonkou while she was there?What if something happened to Luffy?
The second pirate lunged at her with the blade of his sword pointed at her chest and would surely inflict a mortal wound. But fear prevented her from moving and the tears and blood made everything look even more blurred and distorted.
As the sword was about to reach her body she moved, or rather someone moved her away from the attack. She looked out of the corner of her eye feeling strong hands grabbing her shoulders and then lifting her off the ground like a featherweight.
She couldn't see who it was. But his hand on her skin felt like being at home, she felt safe and immediately knew that person couldn't be anyone else but Luffy.
''Mugiwara!'' roared the pirate holding the sword, but now the weapon trembled in his hands.
Luffy looked at the pirate, Nami didn't know what was happening because she was about to faint, but Luffy's simple angry look made the sword from between the pirate's hands fall to the ground. He didn't even need to use haki, his simple presence was intimidating enough to make that pirate become immobile and breathless.
Monkey. D Luffy, the man who had defeated Kaido and the new yonkou of the seas. There was no one in the entire New World who hadn't read that news that surprised everyone.
''Which of the two was the one who hurt her?'' Luffy asked, his voice sounded calm, very calm, but with a threatening tone hidden between those words.
None of the pirates said anything. The one on the ground smiled and from his position tried to stab Luffy with a small knife he had managed to pull out of his shirt sleeve. And Luffy still holding Nami's body (that was standing thanks to him holding her) simply lifted one foot and stepped on the pirate's hand applying haki to his leg which immediately turned into a black color. The pirate screamed in pain while begging for mercy, he dropped the knife and tears overflowed from his eyes.
Luffy lifted his foot but the expression on his face did not change, anger adorned the features of his face. He wanted to tear them apart, he wanted to beat them until there was nothing left of them, not even their bones. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so out of control, maybe it was that time when he saw Nami stab herself while screaming Arlong's name, that time he felt for the first time what it felt like to fight with rage and hatred, and those emotions brought out the worst in him, but he didn't mind diving into them if it meant saving his nakama.
And just as he was about to yell for them to get the hell out of there before he completely lost control, was when he saw the Kurohige insignia on the man's arm. The rage transformed into a darker emotion, impossible to control and very powerful. Around Luffy haoshoku´s haki began to build up like little lightning bolts sparking on him.
He was going to kill them. Luffy was going to finish them off.
And in the midst of that internal battle where those pirates were seeing their most imminent future, Nami looked at Luffy and her lips moved on their own.
''Luffy... are you okay?''
And that simple question felt like a blanket of rain falling on an out-of-control fire. Luffy blinked several times and completely ignored how those two men fled from there crawling like snakes. He looked at Nami, her face full of wounds and her eyes stained with blood. Slowly with one hand he removed blood from her eyelids and smiled slightly.
Nami was amazing. Well, to Luffy, she always had been. He had never met someone who cared more about others than themselves under those circumstances. She was like that, she looked thin and not very strong, but in Luffy's eyes she was the bravest, the one who fought the hardest and he had always admired that about her.
How she ignored her own welfare to take care of others, how she cared for everyone around her to be well, a clear example was in Punk Hazard when she decided to save those children or when she took care of Otama in Onigashima. It was those little gestures that Luffy observed without her being fully aware of it and it was those details that made her truly shine in Luffy's eyes.
And Luffy understood. Nami was like the sun of his universe, and he was like just another planet revolving around the orbit created around her. So bright and warm. That's why the moment they were in the middle of the jungle together with Chopper, Sanji, and Brook he felt something was missing. He wasn't enjoying exploring that island, no matter how many huge animals or monsters appeared on the way, he felt that something was missing, he felt that someone was missing. And in the midst of that confusion he felt something was wrong, maybe a hunch, maybe the fact that from the very first moment leaving Nami sick in her room alone at the Sunny was not an idea he liked. So he looked at Sanji and at the cry of a ''Sorry, I'm going back to the Sunny!'' Luffy took off running towards the ship while listening to the confused cries of his nakamas.
Running wilder than the jungle animals themselves Luffy sometimes swung from tree to tree by means of the lianas, other times over land he jumped the big roots of the trees and propelled himself strongly while a huge smile was drawn on his face. What face would Nami make when she saw him enter her room? Luffy smiled imagining the possible scenarios. He would tell her that he had come back to take care of her and Nami would surely make a very funny face. But his surprise was greater when he arrived and heard Nami scream, immediately his smile was erased and he felt the presence of two unknown people on the Sunny.
He jumped from the island to the boat with a nimble movement and looked around with a coldness that could freeze anyone who crossed his path. He looked at the door of the girls' room open and slowly went down listening to the voices and that's when he saw Nami on the floor bloodied and that man pointing a sword at her.
''Idiot,'' whispered Luffy ''of course I'm fine'' he sighed, then looked up at the ceiling of the room feeling the two pirates leaving the ship, he was sure they wouldn't have the courage to return.
''Luffy?'' she called out to him in a weak voice.
Without saying anything, Luffy grabbed Nami by the legs and carrying her bridal style left her sitting on the corner of the bed while he knelt in front of her and contemplated her wounds.
Nami blinked several times. She didn't know anymore if she was more confused because of that ambush or because Luffy was there in front of her, stroking her leg slowly and frowning.
''You're full of wounds,'' he said more to himself than to Nami ''I should have kicked their asses,'' he growled under his breath.
''It's okay,'' Nami began, Luffy slowly raised his head until their eyes were looking at each other ''I'm fine and I don't think those pirates are stupid enough to come back''.
With a blank mind, Luffy sat up, crossed his arms, and after a pause looked at Nami.
''I think I'll go find Chopper.''
And it was the best option, Luffy had no skill as a doctor and he doubted anyone else would want to come and bother the Sunny, and besides, he would be watching to make sure that was the case. However, to the surprise of Luffy and Nami herself, she reached out grabbing a piece of Luffy's shirt and pulling him towards her.
''I forbid you to leave me alone'' she said in a scant thread of a voice, Luffy's eyes widened tinged with surprise. Nami gave orders, no, rather Nami loved to give them orders 'don't eat with your mouth open', 'don't run so fast' ,'promise me you won't hit anyone' ,'Luffy stop moving the rudder without my permission', but this time Nami's face was completely red as an apple and that made Luffy strange and worried.
''But I don't know how to heal wounds, '' Luffy complained ''I'm not Chopper''.
''I'll guide you'' Nami whispered ''if you open the drawer under my desk there is a small emergency kit'' Nami said as she sat better on the bed resting the soles of her feet on the floor.
Luffy nodded and did as Nami ordered. He then sat next to her on the bed with the kit in his lap watching as she opened it.
''I already spread the ointment on the cotton, now you just need to apply it on my wounds okay?''
Nami watched almost holding back laughter as Luffy took the absorbent cotton very gently as if he didn't want to mess up. His concentrated face with a slight frown and pursed lips made butterflies flutter in her stomach. She then turned slightly so Luffy could apply the ointment to the wound above one of her eyes and immediately a wince alarmed Luffy.
''Ah... did I hurt you?'' he asked scared.
''It's okay... go on'' Nami urged him.
Delicately he was healing Nami's wounds following her orders, every now and then his hands trembled and beads of sweat descended from his forehead. How was it possible that healing Nami was a bigger challenge for him than fighting a yonkou?
When the open wounds stopped bleeding and Nami was fully healed, she lay down on the bed, exhausted and probably with her fever rising again. Luffy was still sitting there watching her. Probably his nakamas would be about to arrive at the ship with the medicines and Nami wouldn't have to endure to stay in that state much longer.
''Luffy...'' she called out to him and his eyes simply sparkled as he heard his name spoken through her lips.
''Uhm?
''Don't leave me alone okay?'' She added more asleep than awake.
Leave her? It would never cross his mind to do such a thing. Luffy nodded even though he was sure Nami was already asleep and unconsciously he lay down next to her looking closely at her reddened face in the cheek area, the band-aids on her forehead, her orange locks hiding her eyelids like a curtain, and her half-open mouth.
It wasn't the first time Luffy slept near Nami, on whole cake island when they were inside the body of that mafia man whose name Luffy didn't remember at all anymore, they did it too or on gyojin island when Jimbe started talking about his past and things he wasn't interested in the least.
Sleeping near her was becoming a habit, it felt warm and besides having Nami near him reassured him that nothing bad would happen to his navigator, no one would dare touch a hair on Nami meanwhile he was near her.
Sleeping with the boys was fun. Ussop would talk in his sleep, Zoro would snore loudly and Sanji would throw pillows at him to shut him up, and then a pillow fight would always start where everyone would get pillows and laugh out loud. But sleeping with Nami was different, it was.... home.
And with that thought in mind, Luffy began to close his eyes feeling the warmth of Nami's body next to his and listening to her small breathing as if it was the most beautiful and soothing tune in the world.
Yes, without a doubt Nami was that. Nami was brighter and warmer than any sun and smarter than any book. Nami was like the sea, sometimes calm and other times raging like a storm and that was what attracted Luffy to her, Nami was indomitable, brave, charismatic, and unique. And maybe that was Luffy's way of loving his navigator, not with kisses and much less with 'I love yous' but by being by her side when she asked him to, sleeping by her side when she was afraid and protecting her from anyone hurting her.
That was definitely Luffy’s love body language.