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One of many interesting facts MC had noticed about most of the demons they'd met was that despite living through so many profoundly interesting world-changing events, very few of them seemed to have paid that much attention.
MC supposed it was understandable for demons not to know a lot of human history. Naturally they'd focus more on Infernal or even Celestial history. The thing was, that apart from Lucifer, Satan, and surprisingly Belpehgor, the rest of the seven brothers knew very little about Devildom or Celestial history. And they knew even less about human history.
"You have to understand MC," explained Satan, "Devildom history is difficult to study. We live such long lives that most of the people involved in things that happened thousands of years ago are still around."
MC nodded, "I suppose it isn't really history for you, it's just old current affairs or something."
"There's that, and then the fact that everybody usually lies about what they did and why they did it, especially if the event turned out badly," said Satan in a matter-of-fact manner.
"What about Mortal Realm history then? Demons have no real agenda there. Couldn't you study it without bias?" asked MC.
Flushing Satan cleared his throat, looking more than a little sheepish. "Yes, but . . . . well . . . . I'm not sure how to tell you this, but for most demons studying mortals and their history is more like zoology?" He smiled hopefully, wanting to take the sting from the comment and then hastened to reassure them. "Of course my brothers and I, we all know better, but there are still a lot of old-fashioned demons out there."
"Belphie has studied humans. At first it was because he really liked them, and then later, after the Fall, he wanted to find even more ways to corrupt them. Lucifer studies humans because he's a nosey bastard who can't help but want to be good at everything. I'm the only one of us who genuinely studies humans because I'm interested in you all."
MC gave Satan a cheeky grin. "That and the fact that you couldn't let Lucifer get one up on you and know things about mortals that you don't know."
"Of course not, there's no way I could let him - wait? what?" Satan coughed, choking slightly and scowling at MC as he tried to hold back the truth.
As MC laughed, he gave up, surrendering gracefully. "Fine. Yes, I wasn't about to let my big brother get ahead of me. But honestly I am genuinely interested in humans and Mortal Realm history. My interest is more genuine than Lucifer's anyway."
What had prompted this conversation between MC and Satan was the announcement made by Diavolo earlier that week.
Diavolo's new flagship initiative to strengthen relationships between the humans and demons was the Devildom Film and Television Corporation. Hoping to improve the cross-cultural relationship between the realms, Diavolo had decided to adopt some of the formats of different mortal TV and movie genres.
Next on the list for the Devildom TV treatment were historical period dramas. According to Barbatos, the Prince was particularly taken with the images of women in empire-waisted, muslin dresses slapping the faces of men wearing pale kerseymere pantaloons and shiny Hessian top boots. Plot apparently was optional, just so long as there were plenty of tight bodices, tighter trousers and face-slapping romance Diavolo would be happy.
In the hopes of gaining at least some historical accuracy in the storytelling, Barbatos had suggested appointing Lucifer to advise the director, leading straight to Satan's complaint to MC that he knew more about mortal history than his brother.
There was in fact a problem with Lucifer's appointment, but it wasn't a problem that was particularly noticeable to some until the end of the first week of production.
And it definitely wasn't a problem with a lack of accuracy.
****
"I can't do it!" exclaimed the historical drama director, theatrically throwing his hands into the air as he paced around Barbatos' office at the studio.
Barbatos sat quietly, his head tilted to one side as he watched the demon's genuinely performative air. He wondered, not for the first time, why this demon was a director when he was obviously such a natural thespian. Histrionic director not historic, Barbatos mused silently, wondering if he could get away with changing the name plaque on the door of this demon's office.
Wringing his hands, his face a picture of abject misery, the period drama director begged, "You have to send Lucifer somewhere else, anywhere else. Just make it far away from anything historical."
"I would have thought his breadth of knowledge regarding human history was sufficient to assist you in your task," started Barbatos mildly.
"Oh it is," stated the director bitterly. "More than sufficient. That's the problem."
"Ah," said Barbatos. "I think, perhaps, I begin to understand your dilemma. The Avatar of Pride is indeed a stickler for maintaining high standards."
"Half my props and special effects team have had a nervous breakdown and the rest are in hospital. I know he's the First Lord of the Devildom, but he insisted on trying out ALL of the weapons himself," the director whimpered, his head twitching slightly, bottom lip quivering as he continued, "trying them out on the props team . I don't know how we're going to cover the health insurance claims!"
"My entire wardrobe department has quit. He unpicked all the garments and made them restitch everything by hand! What am I supposed to dress my actors in now? Not that it really matters since we haven't even started casting yet and I no longer have a script. Or a scriptwriter for that matter."
"Yes, I have the report here," Barbatos scanned the paper in front of him, nodding. "It appears your writer actually choked to death while eating his own script after a meeting with Lucifer."
Barbatos was fascinated to see a tic starting in the Director's left eyelid as his face twitched again. Lucifer really was a force to be reckoned with, having reduced the director to this in just a week. Barbatos made a note to recommend that Diavolo award Lucifer a bonus for his work. It was truly peak demonry at its very best.
However, be that as it may, it wasn't getting this period drama finished.
"Rest assured, I have heard your concerns and will manage the matter."
A beaming smile spread across Barbatos calmly unruffled face as he approached the director, one friendly arm around his shoulders, ushering him out of the office.
***
Several months later
It was the first broadcast of the brand new DFTC period drama. Anticipation was high, especially in some parts of the House of Lamentation.
"You had some involvement in this project, didn't you Lucifer?" asked MC.
"Mhm," nodded the oldest brother. "Unfortunately Diavolo could only spare me for a week to assist the director, but hopefully he was able to take proper note of my advice and put it all to good use."
As the title flashed across the TV screen MC was rather surprised. "Odd," commented Lucifer, unperturbed. "It appears the change of scriptwriter has affected the production somewhat."
In large letters the title screen read "UGH! A Love Story" As they watched it became obvious that many things had changed as a result of Lucifer's involvement.
What had started as an English regency period drama in the style of Jane Austen was now full of next-to-nude, grunting stone age cave dwellers. The desperate director had obviously solved his problems with wardrobe, props and script by simply going ahead without any of them.
"That was . . . . unique," said MC as it finished. They were desperately trying not to giggle.
Lucifer's face was a picture of incredulous shock and for just a small moment MC wondered whether the Prideful demon finally realised just how badly he'd derailed the entire production.
"Ridiculous," Lucifer scoffed scornfully. "Any fool with a basic knowledge of human history would know that early humans didn't hold stone handaxes in that manner. And the way he confused flint with chert? What was the director thinking? Don't even get me started on the extraordinarily substandard quality of those cave paintings. Even Mammon could draw better woolly mammoths."
MC erupted into peals of delighted laughter. Truly, what else had they expected? Demons will always be demons after all.
"At least Diavolo will be pleased," they said. "There was still plenty of romantic face-slapping to go round, even if we had to skip the tight clothing."