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It’s after five, but Helen still feels like she’s playing hooky. She doesn’t have to be at the symphony benefit until 7:30, but she has 30 minutes before her next conference call and it makes sense to get dressed early. It’s been a long week, and she is looking forward to getting out of the hospital before the next crisis-of-the-moment.
Helen applies dark lipstick in the full-length mirror attached to the back of her office’s small closet door. She’s worn the dress before, but still thinks the pale blue gown looks good on her. Her long dangling silver earrings sparkle in the reflection.
She finds herself unenthused about her evening plans. She knows the night will be pleasant but unmemorable. The guy is smart (a Harvard MBA hedge fund founder), good looking, and nice (three dates in and he hasn’t tried to bed her yet, but she’s guessing that may change tonight.) Helen knows she should be more excited about the potential of a new man in her life, but she isn’t. She’s already decided she’ll go home alone tonight and have a nice glass of wine and long bath before bed. Maybe Mina will still be awake and they can catch up. It’s been a long week and she’s barely seen her niece.
Helen knows she’s in a complete stand still these days but doesn’t know how to move on and move forward. She hates that she knows the exact reason but has no idea what to do to change things.
Lauren had not so casually mentioned to Helen a month ago that Max wasn’t wearing his wedding ring anymore. She was surprised she hadn’t noticed, and wonders when he made that decision and why. Helen didn’t dare ask him about it; if he wanted to talk to her about it, he would have. She suspects he may be seeing someone. She’s hardly seen him around in recent weeks. More telling, he hasn’t been working the late hours she’s used to seeing him pull.
The knock on her closed office door doesn’t surprise her. Lauren planned to stop by to hammer out their plans for yoga and brunch in the morning.
“Come in,” she responds while refreshing her mascara.
When she looks over, it isn’t Lauren. It’s Max. Max and Luna. Max in his usual jeans and casual jacket, and Luna is in… full tiny princess regalia, from her gold tiara and shiny pink cape, down to her bright blue skirt. She can’t help but smile at the sight. “Luna, oh my gosh. Come closer and let me see. You are a beautiful little princess.”
Helen just saw Luna a few weeks ago, but still can’t believe how much the little girl has grown in such a small amount of time. Still all big blue eyes and blonde hair, but somehow now a full-grown toddler.
Max steps further into her office, closing the door and looking a little sheepish. “Hey, Luna and I wanted to see what you were up to tonight…but it looks like you already have plans. You, uh, look incredible, by the way.”
He looks her up and down, taking in her formal attire and higher-than-usual heels, and Helen feels a familiar flush. The way he looks at her never fails to affect her. “It’s just a dinner,” she shrugs, feeling the need to explain herself.
“A date?” He asks with a tilt of his head.
Helen nods as she watches the two of them. Max’s attention is drawn away as Luna palms her father’s cheek. “Frozen Pizza width Hewen, Dada!” Helen doesn’t think Luna has ever said her name before and it knocks her a little off kilter. Luna claps wildly, saying something Helen doesn’t quite understand, but sounds something like, “Look, Elsa!”
Max is clearly uncomfortable and Luna is clearly excited. Max turns to Luna, “Helen can’t come over tonight. Dada should have asked her earlier. We’ll ask her another time, okay.” He smiles and shifts Luna to his other hip.
“Elsa,” Helen asks, but when she looks down at her dress, she understands. She has a goddaughter who was obsessed with the movie when it came out. Luna’s outfit makes sense now. “Ask me what,” she says.
“But…” Luna whimpers, bordering on tears and burying her face in her father’s shirt.
Max shakes his head. “Not tonight, sweetheart,” he whispers to Luna, running his hand over the back of her head.
He turns his attention back to her. “Hey, I’m sorry, I hadn’t planned on inviting you last minute like this. It was just a pizza and movie thing. No big deal. Maybe another time?”
Something tells Helen she shouldn’t let this moment get away from her. He’s never once asked her to spend time outside of work before and certainly never invited her to join him and Luna anywhere together.
She doesn’t understand what is happening but makes a choice, stopping him as he goes to leave. “Frozen pizza, Max? In New York? Luna deserves much better.”
Surprised, he turns back, “Just so you know, we aren’t having frozen pizza. On Friday nights, we watch the first half of Frozen and order pizza, from one of New York’s finest, and then on Saturday nights, we order Chinese and watch the second half of the movie.”
Helen laughs at that, imagining Max watching Frozen over and over again. “They showed it at daycare a while ago and this is how we have spent the last six weekends.” He rolls his eyes, but Helen can tell he’s perfectly happy to accommodate his daughter’s Frozen obsession.
“Well, that’s a relief. I won’t have to call child services after all.” Helen looks at the little girl whose eyes are wet with tears. “Luna, what do you like on your pizza?”
Luna perks up, looking suddenly hopeful. “Cheese peponi!”
Helen laughs, “Luna, that’s my favorite too! How can I say no to cheese and pepperoni?” Looking back to Max, she says, “You should have led with that, Max. Your daughter is a much better saleswoman.”
Trying to control a now excited Luna, Max looks torn. “Hey, I didn’t mean to wreck your plans. You really don’t have to do this.”
She ignores his implicit request for more information about how she had planned to spend her evening. “I have a conference call at six and then I need to change clothes. Can I meet up with you guys after that?”
“Yay!” Luna claps and shrieks. Struggling out of Max’s grasp, she reaches over the desk, trying unsuccessfully to touch Helen. “You wear dis? You Elsa. I’m Anna!”
Max looks horrified but Helen takes it in stride and smiles in acquiescence. “Okay, I’ll wear my dress, as long as I can change out of these shoes.” This seems agreeable to Luna who nods.
“I’ll text you my address. I promise I plan to make this up to you with lots of wine.”
“I’ll hold you to that.” Helen smiles. “No need to text me, I have your address.”
Max looks down at his feet for a moment. “We just moved actually. Same neighborhood, just a different place.” He tucks a stray strand of hair under Luna’s tiara.
“Okay then.” Helen nods, surprised he hadn’t told her. “Oh, Max, does she have any food allergies?”
“Um, no.” Max shakes his head, confused.
“Good, I’ll see you both in a little while.”
She watches them walk out of office, wondering what exactly is going on with Max. It’s clear he wants to talk. They’ve never hung out casually in the three years she’s known him.
She looks at the clock and realizes she doesn’t have much time before her conference call. Clicking through her recent calls, she finds the number she’s looking for and dials. When Daniel answers, she offers a weak excuse for her absence from the fundraiser she was supposed to attend with him.
Slipping off her heels and exchanging them for sandals, she’s relieved not to be spending the night making polite chitchat with a room full of strangers.
As she dials into her conference call, she decides she’s tired of living in limbo with Max.
Helen knows how she feels about him, and thanks to their conversation when Castro left, he does too. In a year and a half, it’s never come up again. Part of her thinks the connection they have is all in her head, but that doesn’t explain the way he looks at her. No one has ever looked at her the way he does, not even the man that she was over the moon to marry years ago in London.
If they don’t have a real conversation tonight, she’s determined to move on. For good this time. No more waiting on something that may never happen.