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His feet in the sand mixed with the cold of the sea lapping at his ankles. The waves caressed him just at that perfect spot on the beach where they could easily walk under the moonlight, as they moved slowly in an uneven gait, at least that was the way Naib moved compared to his companion, who squeezed his hand gently.
That was one of the few times that they went to the beach, at least together, at night. They took advantage of the solitude of the place to enjoy the sound of the water and the smell of the sea that emanated from it. Together, they had no specific direction to go, they just strolled along the shore, completely ignoring the distant voices that outside of it, in the countless restaurants and shops that lined the shore, heard each other, having fun, with an air very different from the intimate that both, a few considerable meters, were experiencing.
"Sometimes, you make me wonder if you really like the beach" The dark-haired man said, waking Naib up from his thoughts, since he had been silent for several minutes, specifically since they left the hotel where they were staying, a block away.
"I'm sorry, I... You know, I didn't go to the beach when I was a child, so... I'm not really used to it, I don't know what to do either” The brown-haired man was encouraged to reply, without looking into his eyes. His head was full of thoughts that had been eating him for days, the same ones that made him feel some kind of guilt for not being able to enjoy himself as much as Norton did. He just laughed.
“You just feel the breeze, the waves, the sand, and you let yourself go” He lightly turned his partner around, causing him to give in, though he wasn't smiling like the dark-haired man “Why are you so quiet? I don't remember eating your tongue”
Norton laughed again, but it was difficult for Naib to do so. It was difficult for him to understand his fiancé, how could he be so calm about everything? Sometimes it gave him a little shock to think that someone like Norton might be able to exist even knowing that he didn't have long to live. He acted as if that limit didn't exist and with such patience that... If it were up to him, he would just drag him to be both in a bed, holding each other, talking quietly... Because that's what he wanted, to lock himself in with him, to cling... to never lose him.
"It's nothing" he insisted again on his stubbornness, a typical trait that they both shared, the same one that Norton noticed. He just rolled his eyes, stopping her lover to give her a warm hug.
Neither of them said anything during that time, because, deep down, they needed it. Norton knew that it wasn’t going to be easy for Naib now that his illness had advanced, to the point where the same doctor gave him no more than 3 months to live. At first he didn't want to say anything to his beloved, but it wasn't something so easy to hide, so he just chose to be honest with him. A month had passed and he decided that this summer they would be on the beach, alone… Together. He only wanted to be with him, with no one else, after all...
"You know you can't lie to me, just like I can't lie to you" The dark-haired man reminded him, laughing softly, although he was only trying to lighten the mood. It's not as if he had ‘accepted' it, but… Deep down he knew that this would be the outcome for him. Naib sighed against his chest.
"I don't want you to go" he ended up saying, his voice a thread, breaking without being able to take it anymore.
And what would he do? Norton rested his chin on his head, not wanting to be too unaware of his words. Saying that everything would be "fine" would upset his partner, he knew, nothing would be fine if the two of them couldn't live as long as they wanted. Not even his long-term plans could be fulfilled… Nothing at all. And there was no way they were going to stop him, for time struck hard with how fast he ran.
"You know I don't want to leave either, just... Don't think about it, okay?" He asked sweetly, seeing him deny.
"’Don’t… Don’t think about it’, have you said?" His light blue eyes, red from crying, turned to him “It's... Impossible for me to do that, every day I-I'm worried, thinking that you might not be here anymore, here with me... How do you think that makes me feel?”
His lips tightened, seeing the face of his beloved, having nothing else to do but kiss him, even though it was a sad kiss. They both knew it, all of that was so depressing…
"Maybe…" Norton said, searching for the right words to make his point “Maybe I won't be here in two more months but... At least we're here, now, at this moment…” Naib sighed when he heard it, because it wasn't the first time he heard it, only Norton held his face before seeing him move away “Look, I know you're sick of me saying it, but it's all I think about. I prefer to not to think about it, to enjoy you, to be alone and together most of the time instead of just wasting it on crying, because I don't know when the next time I see you will be, or the next time I kiss you, or the next time we can come to this beach, another summer, without realizing that it's already summer, Naib... I don't know when it will be and I don't want to know because the only thing that matters to me at this moment is you, it's our relationship, it's this "something" that only you and I have…”
Even tears had taken care of Norton, however, he showed how hard he was trying. Yes, he was doing it, for him, for the two of them… And damn, it felt so good… Because the last seconds with him wanted them to be unique, special, they wanted them to last a lifetime. It would be the last time in years until they managed to share the same sky, to see the stars together, the moon, feel the sea jealousy licking their feet... It would be the last time for him, but not for Naib, because he longed for him to do it with someone. Plus, it wasn't the only thing. He wanted him to be happy, because that was what made him happiest... And, for once, Naib seemed to understand him, on that shore, on that beach, in that beautiful place that meant the apartment they both shared to repeat the same thing every summer.
But even though everything seemed to be going so well, it was a fact that things would not turn out as well as they imagined, because, indeed, everything changed the following year, when Naib returned.
The beach was no longer the same to him, not even because of the children who were around him, playing with the seagulls. The sun greeted him, at noon, before filling up with people who liked to spend their vacations, ones that Naib didn’t enjoy at all. With the urn in his hands, his bare feet, a sigh escaped his lips, caressing the container.
"I know that no one loved this beach more than you” He said to the air, intimately, looking at the ashes inside, belonging to his loved one “You would have wanted me to let you go and that's what I'm doing... But that doesn't mean I'm going to forget you or anything... You were everything to me, you always will be, okay? … You will always be what I always loved, Norton.”
And, lightly, he poured the ashes over the sea, deeper than just the shore, letting the waves carry away the remains of his beloved… Letting him go, for each year to come back, as a tradition, in order to keep his memory alive, very present, in him.
After all… Nobody would be like Norton Campbell himself, would they?