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“So,” Cole says as soon as the big red door is closed. “My name’s Cole. What’s yours?”
The kid in front of him looks up, seems to have a brief internal battle, then stands a little taller, looks a bit more determined. “Jay.”
Cole doesn’t really admit this outright, but he likes movies. His dad thinks anything that’s not a Broadway musical is a waste of time, but he can’t control what Cole watches on his laptop in his own room, and what Cole likes to watch ranges from superhero movies to westerns to, okay yeah he’ll admit he likes musicals but don’t tell his dad that.
The point is, Cole’s first thought when he sees an old man sitting at the top of a mountain cliff drinking tea is that he has just fallen into a classic archetypal hero movie. He’s literally a troubled kid on the run who bumped into an old man with a white beard that’s like three feet long. The universe is essentially saying hey Cole, you’re the Chosen One .
And then Master Wu actually says, hey Cole, you’re a chosen one.
So he isn’t The Chosen One but there will be a few of them working together, and that makes more sense realistically anyway. Wu is the classic wise old mentor building a team to protect the world from his evil brother, complete the picture with a whole backstory about magical weapons and dragons and the script writes itself honestly.
(Cole also won’t readily admit he’s terrified of dragons but that’s okay because dragons aren’t from this world and like, what are the chances he’ll actually meet a dragon on this mission quest thing?)
The only thing Wu does that surprises Cole, is that he leaves. Like, he hikes them up another mountain to a frankly gorgeous albeit empty monastery with a big red wooden door and a courtyard with a golden dragon statue in the middle, then tells Cole he’s off to find his teammates and just. Leaves. Bye. Good luck learning how to be a hero by yourself, kiddo. Master this training course and you’ll understand everything. The secrets of the universe lie within, or whatever. Okay, maybe this is on brand for the wise old master after all.
So, Cole has been living by himself at the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere for a week, give or take a handful of days. It’s not terrible, he’s always been kind of an introvert, plus the kitchen is stocked and he’s got his headphones and his library of music to listen to while he puzzles over this training course that Master Wu left him with.
But he’s definitely starting to get lonely, and starting to get bored of cereal by the time his wise old master comes back with a new team member in tow.
Wu doesn’t stay long, just like he didn’t the first time. Says, this is one of your new teammates, I’ve brought more groceries, play nice while I go find your third team member. Then he peaces right out of there like last time, leaving Cole alone in the courtyard with a complete stranger who is supposed to be his new teammate through thick and thin.
(Thick and thin and dragons and robots and love triangles and ghosts and pirates and—)
The kid is small, probably younger than Cole if he had to guess, but only by a couple years. She’s looking down at her feet and picking nervously at her nails. She’s got messy red hair that comes down to her shoulders and freckles on her cheeks like splatters of paint.
Cole realizes that Master Wu kind of skipped introductions before he left. He clears his throat and tries to clear some of the awkwardness hanging between them.
“So. My name’s Cole. What’s yours?”
She finally looks him in the eye and stands a little taller. She still only comes up to Cole’s shoulder.
“Jay.”
Cole blinks and has a sinking feeling in his stomach that he’s been using the wrong pronouns. He also has no idea how to ask without sounding like a dick at this point, but he opens his mouth anyway and hopes some words will—
“I’m trans,” Jay says.
Okay, that works too.
Cole closes his mouth and nods. “Cool, cool,” he says, like an idiot. An absolute buffoon. He wants to punch himself in the face.
Jay smiles and hides it behind her– his hand. Oh, he’s probably laughing now too. Cole can’t decide if his own humiliation is worth it or not. Get back to him on that in a couple days.
“Yeah,” Jay says, with perhaps a hint of buffoonery himself. Just a couple of clowns, these guys. Cole really needs to turn off his brain for a second.
Instead he claps his hands together and hopes that brings some finality to this circus of a conversation. “Well, I can show you around, if you like. Master Wu kind of gave us free reign over the place and there’s a bunch of rooms to pick from. Mine is by the kitchen, for snack reasons.”
Jay is still smiling, but he’s not hiding it anymore. “Snack reasons?”
“You’ll understand once you get into it,” Cole says. As if he hasn’t been eating cookies at 3am just because there’s no one to tell him he can’t. He’s a teenager, let him live.
Of course Jay asks into what and Cole pushes the hidden button to summon the training course from under the courtyard. He watches Jay’s eyes grow wide as the floor moves and the machinery whirrs to life and it’s just a generally cool moment for everyone.
He explains the course, passes on some tricks that he’s already picked up. This dummy spins faster after a hit than the others, those planks that shoot up from the floor are all on individual timers so each run through them is different, the swords in the mannequins’ hands are dull as spoons but they’ll still hurt like a bitch when they come flying at you so try not to get hit in the face. By then it’s already getting dark so he suggests settling into a room and getting some food going, and they can tackle the obstacle course tomorrow.
Jay picks the room next to Cole’s. Says it would feel weird to be so far away when it’s just the two of them, and after all this time by himself, Cole gets it. He really really gets it.
The kitchen is restocked and Cole doesn’t want to tell Jay he’s been eating nothing but cereal and cookies all week, so he attempts to cook something for them and tries to be cool about it when it burns to a crisp. He tells Jay it’s because he’s still not used to the stove, which is more or less true. Jay waves it off and says maybe grilled cheese will be easier, and he sets about making it like he’s been in this kitchen a hundred times.
Cole eats something other than Cheerios for the first time in way too long, and it’s fantastic.
Whether it’s because he’s very quick to see Jay as masculine or because he’s purging embarrassing memories from his head, Cole almost forgets about the whole trans thing. It also might be because they’re just not talking about it. They don’t need to talk about it, really. The sky is blue, the wooden gate to the courtyard is red, Jay is transgender.
Once, they bump shoulders while Jay is wrapped up in a towel, on his way back to his room from the shower, and he squeaks and slams the door behind him and they both apologize profusely the next morning.
But really, in Cole’s mind, Jay is just…a regular guy. On the small side, but Cole is kind of built like a football player so honestly lots of guys are smaller than him.
It’s a difference that becomes very obvious when they start training together, and suddenly Cole understands why there’s a chosen team and not a chosen one . Where Cole has been laser focused for weeks on when and where to land punches to keep the dummies out of his path, Jay is dodging and weaving between the obstacles with fluidity and speed Cole doesn’t think he could ever achieve. Sure Jay gets knocked on his ass more than once. But he gets further than Cole did on his first few tries.
Cole shows him where the weapons are stored, once Jay shows he’s perfectly capable of not accidentally hurting himself with them. Jay starts with a sword and after a single run, decides it’s too clunky for him, so he settles on a set of nunchucks instead. Cole laughs and says that’s understandable but not relatable, and he doesn’t try to be subtle when he shows off some tricks with the scythe he’s come to know and love like it’s an extension of himself.
(Jay doesn’t need to know that Cole learned all those tricks from youtube.)
He wonders if their next addition will find some kind of middle ground, someone who knows when to rush between enemies and when to strike hard, someone who will choose a solid medium sized weapon.
Jay always seems to be messing with his hair. He’s constantly pushing it out of his face, flicking it back over his shoulder. He ties it into little pigtails when he takes on the obstacle course and Cole thinks it’s really cute and he also thinks he can never say that out loud.
But it’s clear that Jay’s hair bothers him, and not just when it falls into his eyes. Cole is tempted to get him a headband or something, until he happens to pass by Jay’s room one morning on his way to the bathroom.
The door is cracked open just enough, and he can see Jay moving around like he’s looking at his reflection in a mirror. Against his better judgment, Cole stops and peeks inside.
Jay has pulled his hair back and up, like he’s making the world’s messiest bun. But his hair is too short to pull it back that far and there are a lot of flyaways. It would be a fantastic look for him really, if he didn’t look two seconds from crying.
As it is, he lets go and it falls back to his shoulders. He growls under his breath, a sound that says he wants to scream but doesn’t want to disturb anyone. He grabs handfuls of his hair and pulls and Cole winces even though he can’t feel it.
He wishes he could help, but he has no idea how. So he steps back, takes a deep breath, and walks away.
He sees his chance next time they’re training together. Jay has just finished another try at the course. He got pretty far, but his timing was off just before the end and a dummy swept his legs from under him. He looked ready to punch it with his bare fist, only held back by the fact that the mannequin was still spinning around its carousel too fast for him to land a good hit.
Instead of taking another run, Jay sits next to Cole on the stairs. He’s messing with his hair again, fidgeting, pulling it back and letting it go, tugging harshly on the ends like he wants to rip it out.
“Must be annoying at that length,” Cole says, trying to sound casual about it. He keeps his eyes trained on the book he was reading, though he’s not picking up a single word from the page.
Jay freezes and looks up at him. “Well… yeah. I guess.” He’s also trying too hard to be casual.
“I can help you cut it. If you want.”
Jay doesn’t say anything for a second.
In the empty space, Cole can’t stop himself from backpedaling. He closes his book. “Unless you’re growing it out. Or. If you like it the way it is. I don’t know, you can ignore me, I just thought maybe—”
“No, I—”
They both stop at the same time.
A whole entire circus up in here. Cole sincerely hopes their next team member is less awkward.
Jay sighs. “My parents weren’t excited when I tried to come out to them. I’m scared they’ll be upset if I come back with short hair.”
Oh. They’re talking about it now.
“But I do want it cut,” Jay says. “I get, like, nightmares about it. Well, maybe not nightmares . Stress dreams. Where I can’t cut it no matter how hard I try, or I manage to cut it off but it grows back overnight.” He shakes his head. “It’s stupid that it stresses me out so much.”
Cole closes his book and sets it aside. He scoots down so he’s sitting on the same step as Jay, but doesn’t try to make eye contact. Jay’s got his eyes fixed on the stone floor of the courtyard, so Cole does the same. “I don’t know what you’re going through, but I think I kind of have an idea.” You’re my son and you’ll be a dancer because that’s just how it is, you don’t get a say in it. “I ran away from home because my dad expected me to be a certain way, and I know that I’m meant for something different. He would be pissed if he knew I’m here, learning how to fight like this.” He sighs. “It’s not fair for them to expect you to be something you’re not.”
Jay folds his arms over his knees and buries his face. His voice comes out muffled. “It’s worse because I love them so much.” He lifts his head to breathe. “Like, you see so many stories of trans kids being disowned or running away and never talking to their family again, but I love my parents, I could never just cut them off. And I know they love me, they just…they don’t understand and I don’t know how to explain it to them.”
They’re quiet for a while. Jay lays his head down again, and Cole tentatively pats his shoulder.
Cole keeps a lot of thoughts to himself. Thoughts like, I’ve never known anyone who’s trans, this is so unfamiliar to me, am I saying the right things? Thoughts like, I care about my dad too but I still ran away and haven’t spoken to him in…I don’t remember how long. Thoughts like, I get it, I understand, I can do something to help. Thoughts like, I’m in over my head and I know absolutely nothing and I might be making things worse.
“Well,” he says after a really long time. “It doesn’t seem very practical at this length. I think you should either grow it out long enough to tie it back, or you can let me give you the shittiest haircut of your life.”
Jay turns his head to look up at Cole. His eyes are misty but he’s smiling and it looks genuine enough. “As long as you don’t give me a mullet.”
Cole smiles back. “I make no promises.”
They wait until later in the evening, when neither of them are sweaty from more attempts at the training course. Cole offered to French braid Jay’s hair to keep it out of his face for the rest of the day, and if he’s being honest he’s glad they’re cutting it tonight because he thinks Jay’s hair looked way too pretty like that.
So now they’re in the bathroom, the bathmat temporarily displaced in the hallway to make cleanup easier. Jay’s sitting in a chair in the middle of the room and picking at his nails again and Cole didn’t realize until like five minutes ago that he’s going to have to use the kitchen scissors and this is going to be a nightmare. He was joking about the shitty haircut, he’s been cutting his own hair since he ran away and he’s gotten quite good at it. But he’s hoping Jay took the joke seriously because this might not end up very pretty.
He takes a deep breath and looks at Jay’s reflection in the mirror. “Okay, how short do you want it?”
Jay looks at himself, then at Cole and shrugs his shoulders. “I don’t know.”
“Not helpful, dude.”
“Shorter than yours.”
Cole looks at his own reflection. “Yeah, still not helpful.” He cuts his own hair but he doesn’t do it often , it’s pretty long. Not much shorter than Jay’s currently. He’s been using a headband to keep it out of his eyes.
Jay is pouting and that’s kind of cute too but Cole adds that to the list of thoughts he should keep to himself. “I don’t know how to describe it. Just…not this.”
Cole wants to huff and say that’s still not helpful because it’s not. But he kind of understands where Jay is coming from, so he gives it up. “How about I just… go little by little? And you tell me when it’s short enough, yeah?”
“Okay,” Jay says with a nod. He hasn’t stopped picking at his nails, if anything he’s upped the intensity.
Afraid Jay will start bleeding soon, Cole says he’ll be right back and runs to his room, then comes back with a beaded bracelet. His mom gave it to him when he was a kid. The beads are brightly colored and it’s way too small to fit his wrist now but he still holds onto it because it’s one of the only things from her he could find in his rush to leave. He hands it to Jay, who probably doesn’t understand that he’s taking a piece of Cole’s soul into his hands to use as a fidget toy.
But he holds it gently, so maybe Cole’s face gave something away. At least he’s not picking his nails.
It’s a slow process. Cole doesn’t want to cut away more than Jay is comfortable with. He starts by cropping it to the same length as his, then an inch more, then an inch more, always checking with Jay like every five minutes to make sure it’s not too short.
“It grows back, you know,” Jay says after the sixteenth check-in. Okay, no one is counting but that’s only because Cole lost count after five or so.
“I know,” Cole says, exasperated. “But you don’t have to play it so cool. I know it’s important to you. We wouldn’t be doing this if you didn’t care.”
Jay shrinks in on himself. He’s been called out and he knows it. “Well… I think you’re getting close.” He twists the bright plastic beads in his hands.
“Okay,” Cole says. He lifts the scissors again.
Jay finally tells him to stop when it’s almost too short for scissors and Cole is starting to think they may need to ask Master Wu for clippers or something. Is he expecting them to be self-sufficient up here? Can they go down to a nearby town for haircuts or something? There’s a lot of logistics Cole hadn’t thought of until now.
But they’re done. Kind of. Cole assures Jay he’s not cutting more off, he just has a thing for art and is maybe a perfectionist and wants to make sure everything looks nice, and Jay smiles and says that’s okay and then he asks what kind of art Cole does.
“It’s…complicated,” Cole says, trying not to make eye contact even though he kind of has to stare at Jay’s reflection in the mirror to make sure it all looks right. He almost looks like a different person like this. Younger, in a way. More boyish, which Cole is pretty sure was the goal.
“Art is complicated, just in general,” Jay says. And he’s right.
Cole finds a stray bit he missed and snips it off. “I mean like, my education and all. It’s messy. I dropped out of school when I ran away so I didn’t exactly get to pursue what I was going for. And then I found Master Wu and now I’m here, so it doesn’t really matter anyway.” He’s avoiding answering. He hopes Jay will pick up on that.
Jay does not pick up on that. “Okay, then what would you have gotten into? If things hadn’t gotten complicated.”
Cole sighs. “I don’t know. Painting, maybe? I always liked painting.”
“Oh,” Jay says with a hint of teasing. “A true artist.”
“Shut up.” Another few snips. “I don’t wanna talk about myself anymore. What would you be doing if you weren’t here, huh?”
Jay hums in thought, tapping his chin. “I’m still in high school. So probably, uh. What time is it?”
“I don’t know. Seven pm?”
“Homework.”
“You’re boring.”
Jay laughs, and it’s kind of infectious. “Robotics homework.”
“Now that’s interesting.”
The next morning, Cole finds Jay in the kitchen fixing something that smells a lot like scrambled eggs. His hair is a little choppy pretty much everywhere but he looks brighter than Cole thinks he’s ever seen him. It’s a good look.
“Hi!” Jay says when he sees Cole in the doorway.
Cole nods and says “Morning” a little less grumpily than usual. Listen, he’s never been a morning person.
Jay smiles anyway because he’s clearly already picked up on this. “Do you think Master Wu will be coming back soon?”
“Maybe,” Cole says. It’s been a handful of days, though admittedly Cole kind of stopped paying attention when he realized it didn’t matter whether it was Monday or Wednesday or Saturday.
Jay dishes everything up and sets a plate in front of Cole, then sits next to him at the counter. Eggs, tofu, bacon, so much cheese.
“Did you put any veggies in this?”
Jay scoffs. “We’re kids with no adult supervision. Of course not.”
Cole laughs. “I like you.”
“That would kinda suck if you didn’t like me. You’re stuck with me.”
They eat. Cole thinks Jay is a solid average cook, which is good enough for now considering Cole is a long way from chef extraordinaire.
“What if…” Jay starts, then backs up. “Do you think our other team member is gonna… I don’t know, be weird? About me?”
Cole pauses with his mouth full. Does Jay think that Cole wasn’t weird about it that first day? Cole still thinks he was pretty weird about it. But maybe Jay doesn’t mean weird as in awkward. Maybe he means weird as in transphobic.
He swallows his bite and sits up a little straighter, taking advantage of that football player build. “They won’t be,” he says. He folds his arms over his chest. “Not while I’m here, at least.”
Jay glances at him, and Cole isn’t sure what reaction he expected, but he is surprised when Jay starts laughing.
“What?”
“You– you’re just–” Jay snorts. “You can’t just beat someone up for being mean to me.”
Cole shrugs. “Sure I can.” That’s what he’s always done before. “Anyway, I won’t have to if they’re cool about it.”
Jay is still snickering, but he no longer looks like he’s going to fall off his chair. “Well, thank you. I’m glad I’ve got a big strong ninja to protect me.”
“You’re saying that like you haven’t almost nailed the training course. At this rate, you’ll be the first one to actually figure out spinjitzu too.”
Jay laughs again at that, but he can’t argue. He does say he wants to finish the course by the time Master Wu comes back, then he wolfs down the rest of his breakfast and leaves Cole to clean the kitchen.
(Jay does figure out spinjitzu first. But that’s after they meet Zane, and after Wu leaves again to get the map. After the three of them sneak away because maybe they’ll have better luck looking for the weapons on their own. After they come back to a stranger taking up residence in their home.
After Cole notices that Jay is trying to make his voice sound deeper, especially around Zane and Kai.)
(They don’t know yet that he’ll stop caring about his voice after a while because it’s hard to care about that when your life is in danger every time you turn a corner.
But it’s cool. They’re all cool about it. Not because Cole threatens them with violence, he quickly learns they’re better than that. Because they have each other through thick and thin. And dragons and robots and snakes and—)