Chapter Text
Vittorino used to like the dark, more specifically how he couldn’t see.
He always slept with the lights off, curtains put over the windows so only the small speck of light that filtered through would be able to guide Vittorino through the first hour or two of his day. The lack of sight when he went to bed made the nightmares more tame.
Whenever he got some time alone he would hide in a room that no one would look in and close his eyes tight, completely zoning out so he didn’t have to think about what had happened that day, or the days prior.
When he saw the bloodshed, rabbits tearing each other to pieces. He closed his eyes, hoping that removing one sense would get rid of his others, so he wouldn’t have to hear the screams, or smell iron, or feel the specks of blood on his face. It never worked, but he liked to believe it did.
Not seeing used to be comforting, it used to be nice.
But now Vittorino couldn’t see his hand in front of him, but it wasn’t dark. Everything meshed together into a conglomerate of blurred colors. He could hardly see anything, this wasn’t like closing his eyes, this wasn’t comforting like the absence of sight was before, he didn’t like this.
It had hurt so bad, his eye melted, reformed, then melted again. Something behind his eye had burst, spewing blood everywhere. The last thing he saw before his vision devolved into just colors was Ryker’s horrified face staring right at him. Of course the last thing he saw was the face of that trespasser.
He hadn’t meant to fall into the sewers, it just kinda happened during his frantic sprinting. And he definitely didn’t mean to meet Gabriel again.
He was able to see his face perfectly, colored swirled and cleared until he could see that familiar face he had missed. It stayed for a second, then disappeared, but Vittorino was still able to tell where Gabriel was by that ugly teal-green.
“How are we gonna get up?” Gabriel asked after a moment of silence. Vittorino jumped, blinking repeatedly as if that was going to fix his vision, he had forgotten he was with someone else.
“..Up where?” He rasps, voice almost gone from screaming so much.
“Uhm- out of.. here, the ladders broken,” He can almost hear the frown in Gabriel’s voice, the worry and doubt noticeable.
“Oh,” Maybe he shouldn't have kicked down the ladder. He scratches at a small itch under his eye, some dried blood getting under his fingernails.
“-ybe I could climb up,” Gabriel mutters, just loud enough for Vittorino to catch the end of his sentence, “Can I climb on your shoulders?”
Vittorino pauses, before realizing that the question was directed towards him, “Sure?” Confusion was evident in his voice. He could hear Gabriel hum, then move closer to him.
There was a pressure on Vittorino’s back, he leaned down from the weight. He could feel Gabriel attempting to gain footing to stand up, one foot near his tailbone and the other, the foot supporting most of his weight, at his shoulder.
Vittorino winced as the foot near his tailbone moved to the other foot at his shoulder, all of Gabriel’s weight being put on one part of his body. After a second, some of the weight leaves his shoulder, followed by a, “Got it!” From the shorter.
He sighs, rubbing his shoulder. From up above there’s a small, “Hey, hey!” Which makes Vittorino look up, focusing on the green-ish teal, “Put your hands up, I'm going to try and pull you up.”
Vittorino nods, putting his hands out above him. He feels two hands grab his wrists and pull up, he attempts to gain footing on the wall, giving Gabriel the last push to fully pull Vittorino out of the sewer.
Hands let go from Vittorino’s wrists and he moved them to the floor, palms cold from the tile. His breaths were heavy, trying to gain the oxygen he had lost, the disgusting smell of the sewers making him breathe shallowly. But he could breathe as freely as he wanted to now, the dusty air of the basilica familiar, but not comforting.
After a moment, he stands up, stumbling a bit as he attempts to catch his balance. The room almost unable to navigate, colors mixing together into one desaturated blob. The only reason he knew he wasn’t stuck in a weirdly-colored void was the ground below him and the color of Gabriel’s uniform.
He didn’t remember the layout of this room, he never went down here often, but he started to walk. Stairs- he remembered going down stairs to get to this room, he needed to find stairs.
“Wait- Where are you going?” Gabriel asks. Vittorino didn’t know exactly, but he did know one thing.
“Out.” That was where he was trying to go, and if it meant out of this room, out of the basilica, out of town, out of the country- Vittorino didn’t know. But he was dead set on going there, wherever “there” was, anyway.
There’s silence, then footsteps slowly walk over to him. Vittorino takes a quick glance next to him, seeing that teal-green and looking away. They didn’t say anything, not even when Vittorino found the light brown of the staircase and cautiously walked up.
The door felt heavy when he opened it, heavier than it was before, but he got it open, and the white walls of the room he had just entered greeted him. The door behind him closed, although delayed from when he expected it to, seems Gabriel followed him out as well.
Vittorino turns to his left, walking down the short passageway, making his way to the door. He made sure not to look at the wall next to him, to not look at the blurred colors of the painting on the wall. The painting he remembers walking by almost everyday, admiring its beauty, all of the paintings in the basilica are so beautiful, he’ll never be able to look at them again.
-Distractions.. distractions. There’s a small bit of yellow in the sea of white, that’s a doorknob, right? He reaches out for the differently colored object, the cold of the metal is unexpected, making him shiver, definitely a doorknob.
He twists, then pulls, opening the door and putting more colors other than the white of the walls of the last room into his vision. He holds the door with both of his hands, pushing it open even more so he can slip through.
The closing of the door is delayed again, it seems like Gabriel is still following him. Speaking of, the shorter man speaks up, “Please- just tell me where you’re going.”
“Out,” Vittorino bites back, he still didn’t know where out was, but he was still as determined to get there as he was that minute before. He could hear Gabriel hum, obviously unsatisfied with the answer. Vittorino almost scoffs, irrationally angry, he’ll probably find this anger stupid later on, but that doesn’t really change out he’s feeling now.
Another door catches his eye, so he enters, the closing of it is delayed yet again. It’s dark, making everything blur into an indecipherable mess again, but he continues walking. There’s a small, but noticeable bit of light, probably from a door that's slightly ajar.
He walks over, putting his hands out and feeling for the slight opening, footsteps stop behind him, Gabriel’s probably waiting on him. His hands finally grab onto the door, and he pulls the door open.
The light from outside was sudden, he covers his eyes with his arm trying to block out some of the light from what's left of his vision. He stands there for a moment adjusting to the light, before walking further.
He takes a step and all that’s there is air.
Vittorino closes his eyes tightly, bracing for impact.
He waits, and waits.
Before realizing he’s suspended in air, two hands held tightly onto his arm.
He’s pulled back up onto his feet, and the two hands previously held onto his arm are now at his shoulders, there’s that weird teal-green in front of him, so that must be Gabriel.
“Please... Can we please sit down,” `He begs, desperation clear in his voice. Vittorino would feel guilty, for making his previously-dead, somehow alive ex(?)-boyfriend so pained, if he wasn’t out yet.
“Please, just sit down,” Gabriel continues to plead, and that little bit of guilt and empathy seeps into Vittorino’s bones.
“..Fine,” He sighs, and Gabriel grabs his hand and leads them closer to the door. He sits down and Vittorino copies the action, sitting onto the cracked concrete floor. He can see the color of Gabriel’s uniform in the corner of his eye, but he doesn’t look, choosing to look off at the colors in the distance, wondering how pretty the sunset might look.
“Hey, uh-” Gabriel pauses, thinking for a moment, “What’s your name?”
“...Vittorino,” There’s venom in his voice, Gabriel doesn’t even remember his name. What was the point of sitting down with him in the first place? “Why are you helping me?”
There’s a pause, “I.. I’m just worried. When I carried you up from the sewer, you were so light, are you eating well?”
“That’s none of your business,” Vittorino snaps, “I’m perfectly fine,” He pauses, he should probably start moving again if he wants to get out anytime soon, “...If I start walking again, are you going to follow me?”
There’s a hum of discontent from the shorter, “..There’s blood around your eyes,” Gabriel says offhandedly, there’s the sound of him rummaging through his pockets, “Before you go, can I at least clean it off?”
He was always so kind, Vittorino gives a small nod, although hesitantly. There’s the sound of someone moving, and Vittorino finally looks towards the teal-green. Hands cup his chin, Gabriel mutters out a, “Hold still,” Before a damp wipe is placed near his left eye.
Even though the pain was gone long ago, Vittorino expects it to hurt, he tenses up, and Gabriel pauses.
“Did I hurt you?” There’s concern in his voice, Vittorino hasn’t heard that kind of worry in forever. He almost feels guilty, knowing that he made Gabriel worry.
Don’t cry, don't cry. “No you didn’t,” Vittorino swallows back tears, now wasn’t the time for crying even if he didn’t have any dignity to keep. Gabriel hums, the wipe goes back to Vittorino’s eyes. It’s gentle, making sure that he doesn’t hurt any imaginary wounds.
Touch wasn’t something Vittorino experienced often, especially when it was kind. It had been so long since he’s experienced any kind of touch that wasn’t mean, he hadn’t felt this in years. He blinks more tears back, don’t cry, oh god do not cry.
The hand cupping Vittorino’s chin leaves, just for the opposite hand to take its place, fingers slightly wet from the damp wipe. Gabriel hums a tune as he works, getting rid of every last drop of blood from around Vittorino’s eyes.
It’s so kind. It’s a familiar feeling that Vittorino hasn’t felt in forever, it’s so gentle and kind, filled with so much genuine love and care. He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Gabriel pauses again.
“Are you okay?” He asks, and now Vittorino’s painfully aware of the tears running down his cheeks, he doesn’t cry often, so the wet tears on his face are unfamiliar and uncomfortable.
“I-” What does he say to this? Does he give up the last of his dignity and tell Gabriel about something that he won't even get, or does he suck it up and stay hidden about his emotions like he’s done for so long, “...I don’t know,” Good enough.
The hand on Vittorino’s chin disappears, and, for a second, he worries that he messed up, that Gabriel is going to leave like he had done a year ago, but purposefully now.
Vittorino’s about to apologize, before he’s cut off before he could even start by a hug. He looks down, and right in his vision is the blonde of Gabriel’s hair. Vittorino slowly wraps his arms around Gabriel, hands shaking slightly. Tears blur his vision more than it was already blurred, even harder to blink away this time.
“I don’t know what happened, or how you know me,” Gabriel starts, keeping his arms wrapped around Vittorino’s torso, “But, uhm, Vittorino, I’ll always be there, if you ever need me,” The blonde moves into a more peach color, Gabriel must be looking up at him, “I care about you, even if I just met you.”
Vittorino pauses, before hugging Gabriel tighter, burying his face in Gabriel’s shoulder. He chokes out a sob as the tears start flowing, the tears coming out of his eyes still feel unfamiliar, even though he had just cried moments before. But, even then, he felt more comforted now, no longer uncomfortable as he choked out sobs.
“It’s okay,” Gabriel whispers, “It’s okay, you’ll be alright,” and Vittorino almost doesn’t catch it, but the small reassurance fills him with such an unfamiliar (but definitely not unwelcome) feeling of warmth.
He lets out a sob that hurts his throat, hugging Gabriel even tighter. His tears are probably leaving a wet spot on Gabriel’s uniform, he’ll apologize for that when he’s not crying his eyes out. He can feel Gabriel hold him tighter, it’s so comforting, and Vittorino can’t get over how nice being comforted like this feels.
“Thank you,” He sobs, he doesn’t even know what he’s thanking Gabriel for. For being there? For being so kind when no one else was? For coming back when Vittorino needed it the most? For just existing? Maybe it was all of those combined, maybe more.
Gabriel hums, running a hand through Vittorino’s hair. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t need to, just being there is enough. Vittorino’s almost out of tears to cry, breathing in shaky breaths as he attempts to calm down enough to leave the hug.
After a moment, Vittorino hesitantly pulls away from the embrace, wiping tears onto the back of his sleeve. One of Gabriel’s hands moves to his shoulder, a gesture that makes Vittorino give a small smile. He can’t see Gabriel’s face, but he can still feel the concern radiating off of him.
“Do you want anything to eat?” Vittorino’s about to refuse, he still wants to get away from here, before Gabriel adds, “We can go back to my place, I can make something.”
It’s embarrassing how quickly Vittorino agrees, so much that he clears his throat, covering up the embarrassing response with a, “Yeah- sure that’s fine.”
Gabriel chuckles, the hand on Vittorino’s shoulder moves to his hand, he stands up making Vittorino do the same. The taller can feel his face heat up, but he doesn’t hear Gabriel say anything about it, instead leading him down the stairs so he doesn’t fall again.
Vittorino doesn’t understand how Gabriel has been so kind, so caring, throughout all of this, but he’s not complaining. He’s just glad that he’s with Gabriel again.