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"You just have to get in there, Beto."
Giulia hefted a bucket of fish up onto the counter beside the sink where her brother was running the tap cold in the backroom sink of the pescheria, watching as he selected a knife from his apron pocket and unsheathed it and chewed his bottom lip in nervous thought.
"It can't be that hard; it's just putting your mouths together and moving your lips, right? Look," Giulia paused to scoop up a fish in each hand and pushed their gaping mouths together. "See? Just like that." She rubbed them around a little, making loud kissy noises, wet and exaggerated over the slip of the fish skin.
Alberto couldn't take his eyes off them, their eyes open and empty and glazed. He felt a bit nauseous.
"Giulia, knock it off. That's gross." He grabbed one of the fish from her hand, shoving it under the tap to begin scrubbing down its sides with his hands, scales on scales.
Giulia laughed and tossed her fish back into the bucket. "If you're so grossed out by fish kissing then are you sure you want to kiss Luca?"
" Yes," Alberto hissed.
She put her hands up in mock surrender. “Mi dispiace, fratello. I shouldn't have doubted you.”
He glanced over at her. Even when Giulia was teasing him he never could hold strong against her best weapon— fratello . He checked himself, exhaling and steadying his hands as he began the process of descaling the fish. The blunt edge of the knife scraped downward and flakes fell into the sink.
He tried not to think about the scar on his bicep.
"It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” Alberto mumbled. “Sea folk don't kiss, though. Probably because it would look a lot like that ." He gestured with the point of his knife to the space where Giulia had been playing dolls with dead fish.
" You don't kiss? "
"Well, okay, we do, just not on the mouth like humans. We don't have the lips for it. It doesn't really work."
Giulia gave him a suspicious smile. "And how would you know it doesn't work, hmmmm?"
"I'm not answering that."
" Fine , don't practice kiss and tell." She leaned forward over the counter on folded arms. "So how do you kiss then?"
"We sort of just…nuzzle each other?"
"Like cats? Oooooooh, that sounds so sweet, Alberto!” Her eyes lit up. "Aspetta— is that why you guys keep purring when you're snuggled up together?"
Alberto felt a flush of heat over his face. He put his knife down, bravely turning to fully face her amused expression. "So first of all, Luca and I do not ‘snuggle’. Second, we were…uhhhhh, okay, I don't know what it's called but I'm pretty sure it's not purring. And thirdly, it was one time ."
"Call it whatever you want, all I know is that I could hear you two from the kitchen."
Alberto could remember the sound that had come from Luca that day; how it had flowed like a ripple into his brain and how terrifyingly perfect it had felt to make the same vibration in return and feel Luca shift even closer into his side like a reward. He sighed as he absently rubbed the back of his neck with his free hand, wincing when his fingers deposited a glob of fish guts on his bare skin. Giulia rolled her eyes, standing to grab a towel off a shelf and sling it into his outstretched hand.
"Well, I think that’s the way to go, Alberto. You should definitely take Luca underwater and nuzzle him."
"I've thought about it, yeah, but there're meanings to like, every move underwater," Alberto grimaced, wiping his neck clean. He looked down at the mess in the towel and his stomach flipped as he took a deep breath and prepared to spill his own guts. "Luca knows all that stuff…and I don’t. If we're on land then at least I know exactly what I'm supposed to do, even if I don't do it well."
Giulia waved a hand in dismissal. "Don't worry so much about the specifics. You're going to sweep him off his feet; you're a born romantic."
" Romantic? " Alberto choked out. "Who said anything about romance?"
"Uh, you did? When you started talking about kissing? You do know that kissing is supposed to be romantic, right?"
"Oh my god. No no no, I can't do this."
"You can do this!" Giulia insisted, staring him down as though she could channel courage straight into him. "Honestly? You're a natural. You always get all mushy around Luca. You'll probably set the mood without even thinking about it."
"That’s not being romantic, I just—" Alberto knew he couldn't argue his way out of this one. He set the knife down as his eyes grew unfocused and soft. “I just really like him.”
“I know, Beto,” Giulia soothed teasingly, reaching across to pat his hand. “Luca knows. Everyone in Portorosso knows."
Alberto flicked fish guts onto her arm but she just grinned, poking her tongue out at him as she pulled the towel towards her and searched for a clean corner.
“But Luca hasn’t managed to keep his feelings for you much of a secret either, so I think you're close to even. And I promise that he does not think the idea of kissing you is gross.” She nodded to the fish in Alberto’s hands. “Fish face or human."
He knew she was right.
It had taken a long time to put the pieces together for himself and see the same picture that everyone else had seen right away— the apparently obvious crush that Luca has on him. But it had turned out that knowing, being certain that Luca likes him back, hadn’t been enough to spur Alberto into action because the fear that whispered to him that he was still the kid that ruins everything hadn't yet gone away.
But after years of knowing him, Alberto trusted Luca’s judgment more than anyone else. And if Luca thought that he was worth coming home to every summer, worth spending all his free time with, worth kissing , then he had to trust that and give this his best shot before he lost his chance.
"I'm gonna do it," Alberto announced out loud, scrubbing his hands over his apron and fixing Giulia with a stare determined enough to combat her skeptical one. "I'm really gonna do it, Giulia. I’m going to kiss Luca. Today."
—
It had been his Papà’s suggestion to take the watermelon with them; hinting, in his own way, that no date is complete without the sharing of food. And so they found themselves swimming to Isola del Mare, passing the watermelon back and forth between them like a ball, and it really hadn’t been a surprise to Alberto that the distance to travel had quickly become a playing field.
It was good for his nerves, being playful like this. It took some of the pressure off to jump and spin and be rowdy in the water with Luca, to feel like even though things were changing for the two of them in some ways, they were always grounded in this kind of boisterousness they’d shared together every summer since the first.
In the back of his mind Alberto could hear his Papà scolding him for playing with his food, but there wasn’t time to feel much shame about it when Luca had suddenly surged upward, launching the watermelon with both hands up out of the water and Alberto was after it a second later, breaking the surface to make a wild grab for it mid-air and rolling back under the waves, the melon hugged tightly to his chest.
“Whoa!” Alberto laughed wildly, spinning as he slowed and passing it back through the water toward Luca, who propelled himself forward to catch it between outstretched hands. “Did you see that?”
Luca grinned. “Yeah, I did! That was so cool , Beto.” He swam up close and bumped gently into Alberto, brushing along his side as he passed by and looking back over his shoulder with a smile. "I'm very impressed."
Alberto felt a swell of pride at Luca’s praise and attention before it was quickly joined by a furious blush-like heat warming him under his scales as he realized he’d subconsciously wanted to impress Luca. Especially today.
And Luca had made it very clear that he knew that, and knew precisely why .
He couldn’t help smiling to himself as he followed behind Luca, the embarrassment minor enough not to dull the flare of excitement inside him, because all he could bring himself to care about was that whether or not he had done it on purpose, it had worked . The mood had started to shift, and things were going well.
—
Things were not going well.
Alberto looked down at the watermelon where it lay on the ground at his feet, split open in irregular lines and pieces of the flesh detached from the rind in sloppy chunks strewn about, spilled juices quickly spreading to darken the sand. It was surprisingly grotesque.
A hand landed on his shoulder and he turned to Luca standing beside him, surveying the wreckage thoughtfully.
“Sorry,” Alberto mumbled, chewing his lip. “I thought I had it.”
“It’s fine. It was one of our riskier ideas anyway, trying to play catch with it on land.”
Luca gave Alberto’s shoulder a squeeze before moving his hands to untuck his shirt from his shorts and start unbuttoning it. “Well, let's make the best of it. This isn’t the first time we’ve had to salvage pieces of something we smashed up on this island, right?”
Alberto couldn’t answer; his brain having apparently stalled as his eyes took in the sight of the pale skin Luca was exposing as his shirt fell more and more open, and his pulse quickened.
Why is he—
“We can still eat some of this, if you want? It’ll just be messier.” Luca’s shirt now hung open as he crouched down to scoop a handful of the loose flesh into his palm and the juices ran down his wrist and forearm, causing parts of his skin to change into green scales and webbed fingers. He looked over to Alberto. “You should probably take your shirt off for this, Beto, ‘cause we’re gonna get sticky.”
The smile on Luca’s face looked innocent enough but Alberto didn’t miss the glint in his eye that suggested his words were meant to provoke. Alberto’s blood was stirring and he knew he needed to get a grip and focus, but it was so hard not to rise to the challenge, and since Luca was insisting…
“Yeah, okay.”
Alberto pulled his t-shirt off slowly, pleased to score a point when he purposely stretched and flexed his arms, catching the way that Luca was absently chewing a mouthful of watermelon and watching him with attentive eyes. The point didn't make it onto the scoreboard though because the second Alberto had tossed his shirt onto the grass he felt his chest struck by some small projectile.
“What..?”
Alberto looked down at his own stomach, then to the ground around his feet, then finally up at Luca, who was grinning with his mouth stained translucent red and a line of watermelon juice dripping down his bare chest and stomach, leaving a line of green in its wake. Alberto couldn’t stop his eyes from flicking down to watch it, transfixed and swallowing harshly as the green line disappeared into the waistband of Luca’s shorts, and he almost missed the way Luca was rolling a loose watermelon seed between his fingers. Before Alberto had time to realize what was happening Luca had slipped the seed into his mouth and spat it across the distance, hitting Alberto on the arm.
“Hey!” he squawked indignantly, rubbing his arm and shooting a look back over to Luca, whose only response was to stick his tongue out playfully before quickly biting off another mouthful of watermelon, shifting his jaw around as he searched out the seeds with his tongue.
“Oh, it’s gonna be like that , is it? You're finished, Paguro,” Alberto smirked, and he lunged forward, stooping to grab two messy handfuls of smashed watermelon as Luca let out a wild whoop and darted away through the trees.
Alberto took up the chase, shoving watermelon into his mouth as he wove through the underbrush and aimed his first shot, narrowly missing Luca, who turned briefly to spit a seed back at Alberto, missing too.
The juices ran down Alberto’s arms as he moved around the trees, chewing and spitting seed after seed but always a bit behind Luca, who seemed to be almost as naturally adept at dodging and weaving on land as he was when they played underwater, and it was maddening how he was able to keep just out of reach. Alberto readied another seed in his mouth as Luca suddenly spun around to spit one of his own, hollering and pumping his now empty fists up into the air in triumph when he landed his final shot off Alberto’s neck.
The hit took Alberto by surprise and ruined the follow-through on his own shot. He sputtered, accidentally spitting his saliva over his lips and the seed along with it, sliding down to stick to the scales speckling over his mouth and chin.
Luca was nearly hiccuping with laughter now and he stumbled forward, placing sticky hands on either side of Alberto’s face to pull him down into a messy kiss, all sticky watermelon saliva and a stifled snort and far too much smiling. He was still giggling when he pulled back again to lean his cheek on Alberto’s shoulder, collapsing into him with arms around his neck.
Alberto was reeling, barely able to breathe as his brain struggled to catch up to reality. Luca just— did he really just…?
He let the last bit of watermelon fall from his hand, brought them up trembling to gently hold Luca’s hips. Luca was calming down, his breaths coming more evenly now, and he straightened up to wipe the saliva off his mouth and look up at Alberto, who was staring at him in lovestruck disbelief.
"You— you kissed me."
"I did. It just felt like the thing to do.” Luca took a deep breath, holding his gaze steady and trying to tame his smile. "It's felt like the thing to do for a while now."
"But how is this romantic?!" Alberto protested, and Luca's eyes followed the line of Alberto’s arm where he was gesturing to the remains of smashed watermelon nearby in the dirt, now crawling with ants.
" Romantic? It's not, but that means I can't kiss you?"
"It's just— there was no mood ."
Luca huffed out a small laugh and shook his head, his eyes shining, and Alberto’s breath hitched in his throat because it was finally sinking in that Luca Paguro just kissed him .
" Happy is a mood, Beto,” Luca smiled brightly, sweeping his thumb across Alberto’s jaw to catch the forgotten watermelon seed between his fingers before wiping the scales away from Alberto’s lips with the hem of his open shirt. “And you happen to make me really, really happy."
“Oh,” Alberto breathed and he leaned back in, unable to say anything more elaborate when that vibration had started up in his chest again and all that he could think about was sliding fingers under Luca's chin to tilt his face closer and bring their lips to meet a second time. This one was slower but the feeling no less ecstatic, the kiss breaking every now and then when one of them would giggle or smile too hard or a chirp would break free from the back of their throats, but they always came right back together.
Eventually Luca pulled back and Alberto blinked his eyes open, pouting with a small whine as he tried to lead Luca back in but Luca resisted, grinning slyly and holding the last seed up in front of their faces. Alberto raised an eyebrow, wincing when Luca popped the seed into his mouth.
"That was covered in my spit!" Alberto choked out but Luca only laughed again.
"We were just kissing and you think I’m worried about putting something in my mouth that was in yours?" Luca held Alberto’s gaze, giving his hands a quick parting squeeze before letting go, backing away toward the edge of the cliff. “Or maybe you’re just mad that I stole the last seed from you and now you're defenseless…"
The wind picked up when Luca broke through the tree line and he poked his tongue out to show Alberto the very last watermelon seed before hiding it back behind closed lips. Luca threw his arms wide, the breeze billowing his open shirt and ruffling his curls, and Alberto raised an eyebrow, biting his lip down around a broad smile and laughing because the boy he loves is looking back at him with every bit of adoration and focused attention that he can give through his bright eyes; like Alberto is the center of his everything.
"You want this, Scorfano?" Luca winked with a smile that was so breathtakingly, boyishly charming. "Come and get it!"
Luca turned, running to the cliff edge and Alberto instantly set off after him with a play-growl, and when he jumped it was with an excited shout into the sky because he had never felt this kind of thrill before in any of the times they'd done this.
Because they'd never made this leap together before.
—
"But you guys said you don't kiss on the mouth underwater!" Giulia looked back and forth between the boys, the three of them lounging together on the beach to watch the sunset.
"We don't! Alberto just got a little carried away I guess?" Luca turned his smile to Alberto sitting next to him, looking a little self-conscious. "We really need to work on your tongue technique though, Beto, because you were all over the place."
"It wasn't meant to be technique…" Alberto explained, his cheeks beginning to colour. "I thought you wanted me to find that stupid seed you'd put in your mouth!"
"Mother of pearl…Alberto, I was flirting with you! I wanted you to follow me into the water so we could scent each other. I— I swallowed that seed; it wasn't in my mouth the whole time!" Luca snorted, grinning affectionately at Alberto, whose face was steadily flushing redder. "What were you even going to do when you found it? Try to scoop it into your own mouth and spit it back at me through the water?"
"I don't know, " Alberto groaned, hiding behind his hands.
"Che cavolo, ragazzi! That was your first kiss?!"
"No, it wasn't! Our first kiss was Luca deciding he needed to use his mouth to suck my spit off my face!" Alberto lifted his head back up, lightly shoving Luca.
Giulia barely had a chance to admonish with an appalled “ Luca! ” before he had tackled Alberto to the ground, tongue out as he wrestled him down and attempted to lick Alberto’s face anywhere he could reach through the fingers Alberto was frantically trying to cover himself with.
“Is this romantic, Alberto?” he teased, making Alberto squeal with laughter and try to shove him off when Luca managed to get his tongue up his nose. Satisfied that he’d won, Luca slowed down and settled across Alberto’s lap, leaning forward with hands on either side of his face and gently nudging their noses together.
Alberto lowered his hands cautiously when he heard that vibration again, starting up deep in Luca’s throat, and Luca tilted his head to rub his cheek against Alberto’s before pulling back again to lick the corner of Alberto’s mouth with tiny laps of his tongue and carefully nipping his bottom lip around Alberto’s quiet moan.
"Okay, now it is…" Alberto breathed, and Luca giggled quietly against his mouth, relaxing his body into Alberto’s and tilting his head to finally kiss him properly.
"Ma dai, you two are gross in more ways than one," Giulia grumbled, rolling her eyes and picking up her book to hide them from view.
"Maybe we are,” Alberto agreed, his hand coming back up to cup Luca’s face, bringing him down towards his mouth again as he whispered against his lips. “But we're too happy to care."