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“YOU DID WHAT?!”
Soren winced as Kasef’s fist slammed on the top of the hardwood desk, remembering how the last time something pissed Kasef enough to do that, ended up with the previous desk in flames.
“I...allowed Da-Viren to stay here. For a while.” Soren nervously repeated himself, spinning his wedding ring around on his finger. He watched his husband’s face as he took in the information. And the emotions flitting across his face weren’t good.
“You...allowed THAT man...to stay here? In OUR home? NEAR OUR DAUGHTER?!” Kasef shouted at him, his scars beginning to glow a warning bright orange. Soren refused to flinch at the volume, knowing that would only cause Sef to feel guilty and guilt is not the thing they need right now.
“Yes, I allowed him to stay here, in our home but Sef, he’s not going to be near Azar. Do you really think I would allow him, a former dark mage, near our daughter?” Soren shot back, trying to bury the hurt he felt at the feel of his husband’s distrust. It honestly made him feel as if Kasef was underestimating his intelligence and calling him dumb.
‘He’s angry and hurt by my actions. He’s speaking out of emotion, not logic. Its okay. He doesn’t actually think that way about you.’ Soren reminded himself, shoving those feelings to the back of his mind to focus on Kasef.
“He’s a dark mage, Soren! He doesn’t need to be near Azar to hurt her! He certainly wasn’t in Neolandia when he sent those things after my father!”
Soren sighed, eyes trailing his husband as he paced back and forth, scars still glowing.
“Well then, by your logic, whether he is in or out of Neolandia doesn’t matter. He could’ve easily attacked her from anywhere with magic.” Soren argued, only to mentally facepalm a second later when his brain caught up with his mouth. Why does his mouth always gotta be a smartass at the worst times? He’s supposed to be calming him down, not riling him up!
“SOREN!” Kasef roared at him, whirling around to glare at him with fury and irritation painted all over his face. He winced at the heat of the look directed at him and at how brightly the scars were glowing. It had progressed from bright orange to a more foreboding mix of dark orange and red. Not good.
Soren had only seen Kasef this angry twice in his life, the lava monster episode doesn’t count, and that had been during assassination attempts on both of them during their time in the outskirts of Neolandia. And that had been...messy.
“I brought him to you for him to be executed to your liking and you let him go!”
“Yeah, that…probably wasn’t the best idea.” Soren admitted, cringing. He had been so…overwhelmed? Too many emotions going through him at once to name at the time. It had distracted him and he forgot about Kasef for a bit.
“Not only that, but you also gave him free reign to roam around the palace?!”
Okay, now that was definitely not what he did.
“No no no, I did NOT do that. I obviously wouldn’t let him just roam the entire palace with no restrictions. He’s under Fatima’s care. And you know how she is. If he tries something, she can easily handle him.” Soren explained himself with a huff. At this point, he was starting to think Kasef was insulting his intelligence. Did he really think that lowly of him? That he would just let his father, the former High Mage, the Dark Traitor, the Mad King of all people just waltz around their home with no one watching him? All willy nilly?!
“Yeesh, Sef, if I knew you thought I was that dumb, I wouldn’t have bothered with the whole wedding ceremony. Could’ve just suddenly called me your husband and I would’ve nodded my head.” Soren scoffed, chuckling at the joke at himself; only to stop when he saw the frown on his husband’s face and the hurt look on his face. Sighing and mentally kicking at himself, Soren rose from his seat and took Kasef into his arms, one hand cupping his cheek as he gently kissed his forehead apologetically. He shouldn't have said that. Soren knows how much Kasef hates it when he makes self-deprecating jokes like that.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Yes, you did.” Kasef said, giving Soren a mildly scolding look, seeing through his lukewarm excuse easily. Soren chuckled, wrapping both arms around Kasef’s waist. Just to be annoying.
“Okay, I kinda did. It’s just…. I just…Kasef, I want to give him a chance.” Soren finally admitted softly, getting an incredulous look from Kasef.
“Of what?! Redemption?!” He questioned, exasperation, frustration, and irritation all rolled into one in his voice. He couldn’t comprehend why Soren would want his traitorous father back in his life. Hadn’t he moved on from him?
“Of meeting Azar! I…I just want the same thing you have with your family. I want that happy full family for Azar.”
“Are you saying that she doesn’t have that? My sisters adore her, Father was so proud of her and spent practically all his time with her before he passed! Are they not enough?” Kasef asked, not understanding his husband’s logic. Soren groaned, not knowing how to explain what he was feeling. He still wasn’t good at the whole “talk about your feelings to other people” thing. It was easier with Kasef because he loved him, but even then, he still hesitated and stumbled over his words. But he needed to explain this to Kasef.
“Kasef, that’s YOUR family. And I know, I know, I married into your family, so that makes them my family too, and trust me, I definitely love them like family, but…I want my family to be involved too. Even just a little bit.”
The older man’s forehead creased as he frowned, not understanding where all of this was coming from. Had Soren been feeling like this the whole time?
“I missed them, Sef. I missed my family. I miss my sister. I…I missed my dad, at least, the dad he used to be before he went downhill. Sometimes when I look at Azar, I feel…guilty. Guilty that I deprived her of having a full family like other kids.” Soren tried to explain, sighing and looking away from Kasef’s intense gaze. Though it has lessened over the years, the guilt still lingered in him. Some days are worse than others. Sometimes he watches Azar play with her aunts and can’t help thinking “What if?”. Claudia would’ve loved her, he knows it.
It was much harder to think of scenarios with his father. Would Viren have liked Azar? Would he have been proud of her? Or would he have been disappointed that she didn’t have any interest in magic?
“You “deprived” her of nothing! Even ignoring what he did to me, he still tried to kill my father and he and your sister made their choice to stand against you. They’ve lost all right to being Azar’s family! They deprived themselves!”
Soren couldn’t say that Kasef was wrong, he really wasn’t. It was just such a ruthless and straightforward way of saying it.
“I know.” Soren mumbled, fingers spinning his wedding ring around his finger. Soren is well aware that he’s letting his feelings rule his decisions regarding this specific problem. And he knows Kasef sees it. He knows that Kasef sees that little boy in him that still wants to love his father, even when lashed at numerous times. But the man Soren was now, he knew better than to welcome his father with open arms and open heart. As much as people liked to think he was a fool, Soren really wasn’t.
Not anymore. Being Crownguard, then fiance, then Prince Consort and with a child of his own had slowly chipped away at the pieces of that naive and prideful boy. Until all that was left were the memories, the guilt, and the anger. He only showed his father a piece of that anger that had been stewing for years. It’s only a matter of time before it explodes with the source now living in the same palace as him.
‘Maybe that’s the problem. Kasef thinks I’m not angry.’
“I haven’t forgiven him, you know. And I’m still so…pissed off at him. But, it’s…wrapped and tangled up with all these other emotions that I don’t know if I’m ready to let loose. I already yelled at him a bit before and it got…messy.” Soren said, feeling the urge to explain himself, to show his husband that he had not forgiven Viren so easily.
Kasef’s look softened, the glow of his scars fading away as the tension slipped from his body. Seeing his husband relaxed, Soren moved closer to wrap his arms around Kasef’s waist, resting his chin on his husband’s shoulder after placing a gentle kiss. There the couple stood in silence for a few minutes, each other’s presence soothing the irritated edges of their thoughts.
“I know…I know that I’m being hard on you about this. Pushy, one could say. I know how you feel about your family and how much it hurts you. And I’m sorry that I’m bringing back up that hurt. I know how much he meant…means to you.” Kasef apologized, his voice rumbling his body and Soren’s pleasantly.
“No, I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry. I know how much you and your sisters suffered because of him. I know how much he hurt you. I should’ve known better than to just let him stay here. At least not without talking to you first. You’re my husband and my king. We’re supposed to make decisions together and I betrayed that. I got caught up in my head and rushed into a decision. I’m sorry.” Soren said in return, not allowing Kasef to take all the blame onto himself. He really should’ve talked it through with Kasef first.
“If you wish for him to…stay here, if that’s what you really want, then…I guess-”
“Sef, hey, look at me.” Soren moved to place himself in front of his husband, leaning against the desk and using his hand to tip Kasef’s face up, gently untying the patch that hid his Sun Corrupted eye away from prying eyes and cupped his cheek. The scars were warm under his hand, dimly glowing.
“If you don’t want him here, I will gladly send him away. Maybe to Katolis. I’m sure Callum would rather have him close by in his sight rather than far away. Or…Or we could, if that’s what will make you feel better, we could…execute him.” Soren tried not to stutter over the last half, swallowing down the stab of pain that flashed through him. He doesn’t want to kill Viren. He doesn’t know why, though. After everything he’s done, it’s only right, right? Especially with all the pain he made Kasef go through, that he made Kasef’s father and sisters go through. It would be justice.
‘Yes, but not the justice you want. It’s justice but not for you. He hurt you too. Shouldn’t you get a say in his justice too?’ A sad and bitter voice rose up from the back of his mind, saying things he didn’t have the strength or heart to say. So he pushed it down, silencing it.
Kasef gave him a wry look, the corner of his mouth shifting up into a smirk.
“You stumbled over the word “execute”. And that alone tells me enough. You are still soft, even after all these years as Consort. Still so tender hearted.” Kasef gently scolded, his tone soft and fond. Tender hearted, Sef always called him, fondly. Weak, his mind whispered to him, harshly.
“I can be harsh when needed. That’s what he deserves.” Soren responded, adding more anger behind his voice in an attempt to convince his husband. All he got was a fond chuckle, Kasef leaning forward to affectionately peck Soren’s lips, chuckling at Soren’s annoyed expression. He really shouldn’t have been surprised. Of course, Kasef wasn’t fooled by his false bravado. The master of false confidence couldn’t be so easily tricked.
“Venom doesn’t come naturally to you, Soren. It’s too easy to tell when it’s false. I know how you look and sound when you truly want to hurt someone.”
“I could say the same for you.” Soren retorted, not willing to lose a battle so easily, even one of words. Just because he wasn’t good with words doesn’t mean he isn’t gonna try.
“True, but I wasn’t faking my anger previously.”
“No, but I know that wasn’t your worst or your complete temper.” Soren said, not backing down. He knew what Kasef looked like when he was completely pissed off. Nothing he said would’ve been able to hold his husband back from storming off and killing Viren himself.
“You have a point.” Kasef chuckled lowly, resting his forehead against Soren’s. For a time, the couple stood there, both thinking over their small pool of choices. Soren knew that deep down, he didn’t want to kill Viren. But he also knew that if it ever came down to a choice between Kasef and Viren, he would choose Kasef without hesitation. Every time. If Kasef told him to kill Viren and that it was his final decision, Soren would.
“I’ve made my decision.”
Soren said nothing, only leaned back so he could lock eyes with his husband, his heart readying itself for the command.
“Speak it, Sef and it will be done.”
“No need to sound so grim, my love. He may remain.”
Everything in Soren froze for a split second, his heart missing a beat while the blood in his veins stilled. A split second of silence before the world regained movement with a rush of sound.
“R…Really?”
“With conditions and rules. First, he must remain in the blocking cuffs at all times. Secondly, he is not to be left unguarded, ever. Thirdly, he is never to be allowed around Azar.”
“Of course not.”
“I’m serious, Soren.”
“So am I. I love Azar, Kasef. She’s my daughter. I love her more than anything else. We have raised her in light and love and I will not allow Viren to cast a shadow over that. The second he becomes a threat to our daughter’s happiness, I will remove him immediately. With or without your command.” Soren explained, a real spark of fierce protectiveness lighting up in his eyes. When Azar was born, he had made an oath to always cherish and protect her. And he had meant every single damn word. If his father makes the same mistakes again and ends up hurting his little girl, then Soren will get rid of him with no hesitation this time. The look on Kasef’s face said he agreed and was pleased.
“And finally, he must apologize to all of my sisters and take any punishment they give him. I will make sure that fatal injury and death is not on the table, but other than that, everything else is on the table.”
Soren nodded his head, agreeing to his husband’s rules and terms. Honestly, they all sounded completely fair to him. It was nothing cruel or overly spiteful. Consequences for actions.
“I agree with all of it.”
“No disagreements?”
“None whatsoever.” Soren answered cheekily, smirking. Kasef tried his best to hold onto his stern look but when his husband wiggled his eyebrows, he couldn’t resist and burst into laughter. Soren puffed his chest with pride at making his husband laugh. One of the many jobs of a good husband.
“Now that that’s done with, I have another important question to ask you. One of great importance, my most royal king.”
Kasef raised a single eyebrow, hesitant but curious. Soren gave him a wide grin.
“What do you think about having another kid?”