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“Nhu~” that soft, deep voice echoes into my ear as I open my eyes to the brightness of the morning shining through the window and a hand caressing my head.
“Nhu, it’s already 8:30, you have online classes today.” gentle.
“Hia~ goodmorning” I smile. It’s always such a great morning when Hia wakes me up.
I watch as he places a plate of what looks like breakfast on the desk where my school laptop was set up. “Khob khun Hia.” He smiles as he sat on the arm chair by the bedroom window now giving attention to his phone where he spends most of his day working, setting up the clothing line he desired so much.
I moved in with Hia four months ago and I’m getting used to the comfortable life i’m living with him. Simple, content, happy.
Hia and I are currently on a hiatus from doing any activities due to a small accident we encountered while driving home from an event six months ago. P’Aof was badly hurt and it was hard for all of us, we were devastated, but mostly me and Hia as we were the ones with him in the van. The moments before the accident played in my mind constantly for months before P’Aof woke up from the coma. Thank God he woke up, I don’t know what we would have done if he didn’t. We would have been lost.
During those times, Hia asked me to move in with him. We found comfort in each other and that situation made me realize that there was no point in waiting to graduate before admitting that I do love him. I love Hia, I’ve always loved him. The accident awakened my realization that there really is no way to tell what will happen next, so here I am, in Hia’s care, and I’m loving every moment of it.
“Hia how’s your back?” I chided as I got up from bed to head to the bathroom and start my day.
“It’s okay kha~, you naughty Nhu, don’t forget to take your medicine.” He says without removing his attention from his phone. I pout (July face), but head to the bathroom anyway.
“Hia, Pa Ma are coming later today to visit, they said they wanted to bring over some groceries.” I spoke a little louder for him to hear me from where I am currently. “Ish that mmkhay~?” I peeked to look at him, toothbrush sticking out of my mouth.
His looked at me finally, his facial expression relaxing. Looking at me like all those times he did before, with that soft expression in his face. I love him. I look away as I always do. Hia’s eyes still make me blush! I hurriedly brushed my teeth and rinsed so I can run up and cuddle him before my classes start.
I jump to the chair where Hia is sat, placing myself on his lap pleading for a hug forcing him to avert his eyes from the damn phone.
Hia opens his arms and I obliged the hug resting my head on the crook of his neck. Hia smells amazing! He smells like Hia, my Hia. He places a small kiss on my head.
“Nhu~ tell Pa Ma i might be a little late today in meeting them. I have to go to the physio at 4 with P’Aof.”
“Mmmm” i answered, to comfortable to form words from my mouth.
Our days went on like this. Comfortable in each others’ presence and unbothered by the bustle of the outside world. Sometimes I would miss our ZonZon so I’ll do a live here and there just to assure them that I’m back to my energetic and healthy self. Hia has been mostly spending his time setting up his brand. Outside of his extraordinary acting ability, my Hia is also amazing at everything he set his heart to. I would know being a subject to this once :P
When I finished with all my classes, Hia had already left to go to his appointment. I continued my day downstairs to cook some dinner before my phone rings, alerting me that my parents have arrived.
I open the door and, “Pa, Mae come in” grabbing the bags from my mom’s hand to help her with the groceries.
“Nunew, how have you been, you look so thin! Have you been eating well?” My mom greeted, hugging me.
“Hahaha, I missed you too Mae.” I hugged back. “Hia is coming, he’s just out for his physio appointment with P’Aof.”
“Mmmmm, okay son.” My Pa answered.
“Oh, I’m making dinner, please have a seat first” I ran back to the kitchen to continue what I was doing, my mom following behind while my Pa sitting down on the sofa and turning on the TV.
“Let me help you baby”
“Okay Mae” I give up without fight knowing this is something I cannot win against.
“How’s everything, tell me, have you been talking to your friends? How’s Nat? Are the classes going well~?”
“Mae, one question at a time.” I chuckled.
We continued our chat while preparing the dinner. My mom looked through all the kitchen cabinets familiarizing herself in a kitchen she wasn’t used to. She spots the bottles of pills untouched in one of them. She grabs one, shaking it grabbing my Pa’s attention from the TV.
“Have you not been taking your medication son?” she asks firmly. I glanced away also noticing a hint of worry in my Pa’s expression.
Thankfully Hia comes in though the door. I look at him, “Hia~” with the brightest smile, greeting him and my anxiety calming down from the intervention I was about to go through with my parents.
“Hia, have a seat, dinner will be ready soon!” Hia smiles, bowing with his hands to his chest to greet my parents. My parents glanced to his direction, worry still apparent on their faces as Hia sat down on the sofa opposite to my Pa’s.
My Mae placed down the bottle of pills, grabbing my arms with a pained expression on her face. “NuNew! Have you not been taking you pills child!?” tears about to fall from her eyes.
“Mae I don’t need it” i reassured, still keeping that smile to help convince her. “I’m fine, i’m happy” I said looking at Hia.
“No son, these pills are not an option! You have to take them as the doctor stated. Do you understand?” she spoke, whilst tears start to fall from her face.
My Pa getting up to comfort her. Both of them giving me looks with hints of disappointment and pity. I’m confused, I’m all better and these pills have not been a necessity for me so why are they making it such a big deal.
“Son” my Pa started, “Yo-… So you know, your Hia has been gone for a while now.” I looked at them incredulously. Unable to comprehend his words. I look at my Hia still sitting on the sofa smiling.
“What do you mean, my Hia is right there.” I replied, tears starting to well up in my eyes as well. “My Hia is right there..”
“Please Nu,” my mom not letting go of my arms continued, “please come back to us baby. Take the medicine, come back to Pa and Mae, hmm?”
“N..no.”
"No no no no” my chest tightens, my vision blurry. My anxiety is acting up and I was unable to breathe. “No! No!” I ripped my arms from her hold and grabbed my head. “No!” Every breath pierced my lungs and the tears that threatened to fall, flowed like a waterfall.
“No Mae! Hia… Hia, he’s right there Mae. What are you saying?!” please help me! My emotions all spilling out at once. Confusion, undeniable sadness, heartbreak.
I close my eyes, scenes of the crash that my brain refused to remember flooded back. My Hia lying on an asphalt ground, unmoving. Blood dripping down from his dark hair in contrast to his pale skin.
“NoooNononono..m..my hia is here.” eyes shaking. My Hia is here, i look into his direction again. His smile is unwavering with his eyes still looking at me full of love.
I’m confused. I’m scared.
“Mae, m..my hia is here Mae.” I look at her, pleading for help. An explanation.
“Nu, my baby, take the pills and come back to Pa and Mae hmmm?” she said once again now more calm, a way to make me panic less. It’s not working. Anxiety picking up more in the mere mention of the damn pills.
“No! No! Maee. My Hia, is he gonna disappear if I take these!? NoNononono” I don’t want that.
“I don’t want Hia to leave me Maeee.” I break down. Falling into a fetal position on the ground. Unable to get up, unable to keep a steady breath, “I don’t want Hia to leave. I’m happy here Mae, I don’t want that.”
“I don’t want my Hia to leave me.” I cried again looking at my Hia, making me smile. The smile filled with love and hurt.
I looked at my parents, “No Mae, i’m staying. I’m staying here with Hia… I’m sorry, I can’t…” the last words a mere whisper.
“No son, we are sorry.” My Pa grabbed me. “We are taking you home.” he stated.
My Pa had called the ambulance without my knowledge. He grabbed me and dragged me out of the house passing by my Hia, unmoving. My anxiety picks up again.
“NOOOO! Noo!! Pleaseee Paaaa!” NoOOO!” I bawled trying to get out of his hold reaching for the place I called home for 4 months. “PLEEEASEEE! MY HIA is THErE! I can’t leAVE HiM! PLeasEEE!”
“HIAAAAA! HIAAAAAA!” I screamed begging. “NoooOOOOOOO!”
If this is a dream, i would rather sleep until death.
