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Kanina pa nakatayo si Ten sa labas ng pinto ni Doyoung, nagdadalawang-isip kung gigisingin niya ba ang kaibigan niya na dormmate niya rin o hahayaan na lang ito. Tuwing Lunes ng umaga kasi ay nagpapagising ito kay Ten bago umalis ang huli na may 7:30 AM na pasok para magising ni Doyoung ang boyfriend nitong si Jaehyun na may 8 AM class. Sa ringtone lang kasi ni Doyoung nagigising si Jaehyun kaya naging routine na nila tuwing Lunes na tumatawag si Doyoung ng 7 AM para hindi mahuli si Jaehyun sa first class niya.
Usually naman ay walang kaso kay Ten kung magpagising sa kanya si Doyoung. Sanay na rin siya kaya ayos lang. Pero iba kasi ngayon, eh. Hindi niya alam kung dapat pa ba niyang gisingin si Doyoung pagkatapos ng nangyari nung Sabado.
[flashback]
Nagising si Ten nang marinig ang ingay sa may sala. Mabilis siyang lumabas ng kwarto at nakita si Doyoung at si Jaehyun na nagtatalo. Anong nangyayari?
“I cannot believe that you would actually lie to me!” hindi makapaniwalang bulalas ni Doyoung habang nakatingin sa boyfriend niya.
“Hindi nga kasi ganon yun, love. Makinig ka muna kasi sakin,” frustrated namang pakiusap ni Jaehyun pero halata sa mukha at boses nito na nauubusan na rin siya ng pasensya.
“Save it. I don't want to hear what you have to say.”
“Doyoung naman.”
“I don’t think I can believe any of your words right now so just save your breath and leave.”
“No. Pag-usapan natin ‘to ng maayos.”
“I said leave!”
“Damn it, Doyoung! Can you stop being so difficult for one second and listen to me?!” hindi na napigilan ni Jaehyun na sumigaw dahil sa inis. But the moment he realized he raised his voice at Doyoung, his shoulders dropped and his face showed guilt. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Please, love. Let’s talk about this first. Pakinggan mo muna yung side ko.”
“Umalis ka na, Jaehyun. Saka na lang tayo mag-usap kapag hindi na mainit ang mga ulo natin,” sambit ni Doyoung bago tumalikod at naglakad papasok sa kwarto niya. Hahabulin pa sana siya ni Jaehyun pero pumagitna na si Ten para pigilan ito.
“Mas mabuti siguro kung magpalamig muna kayong dalawa. Masyado pang matataas ang mga emosyon niyo, wala rin kayong mapapala kung mag-uusap kayo ngayon. Hintayin mo na lang na si Doyoung mismo ang magreach out sayo. For now, give him space para makapag-isip siya ng maayos,” payo ni Ten kay Jaehyun.
Matagal nang kaibigan ni Ten si Doyoung kaya alam niya na kapag galit si Doyoung, wala itong pinapakinggan. Hindi niya alam kung anong pinag-awayan ng dalawa pero alam niyang walang mangyayari kung pipilitin ni Jaehyun si Doyoung. Baka mas lumala pa ang away nila.
“But–” Aangal sana si Jaehyun pero inilingan lang siya ni Ten.
Wala siyang ibang nagawa kung hindi ang bumuntong-hininga at pumayag. He knows Doyoung can be a bit stubborn when he’s mad, but Jaehyun just doesn’t want his boyfriend to overthink this. Pero kung hindi pa ito handang makinig, wala siyang magagawa kung hindi bigyan ito ng oras.
“Okay. Naiintindihan ko. But please check on him for me? You know how he is when he’s upset. Please make sure he eats on time,” pakiusap ni Jaehyun na tinanguan ni Ten.
“Ako na ang bahala sa kanya, don’t worry,” paniniguro ni Ten sa kausap bago ito hinatid sa may pinto. “He’ll come around. Just give him time.”
“Thank you, Ten. Tawagan mo ‘ko kapag may kailangan kayo, okay?”
“Okay. ingat ka.”
“Salamat. Una na ‘ko,” paalam ni Jaehyun. He gave Doyoung’s room one last glance, his gaze sad and regretful, before leaving.
Napabuga na lang si Ten ng hininga saka kumuha ng maiinom sa kusina. Masyado pang maaga para sa ganong mga eksena kaya naloloka siya ng konti. Ni hindi pa siya nakakapagtanggal ng muta. Tinignan niya ang relo at muling napabuntong-hininga. Mukhang hindi matutuloy ang date nila ni Kun ngayong araw. Hay, hirap maging mabuting kaibigan minsan.
[end of flashback]
Hindi alam ni Ten kung ayos na ang dalawa. Hindi naman kasi nagkwento si Doyoung sa kanya kaya hanggang ngayon ay wala pa rin siyang ideya kung ano talagang pinag-awayan nila.
Magkasama sina Jaehyun at Doyoung kahapon dahil ugali na nilang magsimba kapag Linggo pero nakasimangot pa rin si Doyoung pag-uwi nito at hindi niya kasama si Jaehyun. Di tulad ng dati na nanonood pa sila ng movie sa kwarto ni Doyoung.
“Bahala na nga,” bulong ni Ten sa sarili bago kumatok sa pinto ni Doyoung. “ Doy?” tawag niya rito habang pinipihit ang doorknob para buksan ang pinto. “ Doy, alas siete na. Alis na ‘ko,” paalam niya sa kaibigan.
Nakatalukbong si Doyoung nung una pero nang marinig nito ang boses ni Ten ay dahan-dahan itong lumabas mula sa ilalim ng kumot bago antok na nilingon ang kaibigan. Pumikit muna ito ng ilang beses saka tumango at inabot ang cellphone na nasa bedside table nito. Pinanood lang ng tahimik ni Ten nang ilapat ni Doyoung ang telepono nito sa tenga at pagkatapos ng ilang segundo ay mukhang sinagot na ni Jaehyun ang tawag dahil nagising ng konti ang diwa ni Doyoung.
“Gising na,” utos ni Doyoung sa malamig na boses bago binaba ang telepono. Hindi pa nga ata sila bati.
Sa sobrang curious ni Ten ay lumapit na siya kay Doyoung at umupo sa kama nito para magtanong. Wala pa naman si Kun na susundo sa kanya kaya may oras pa siya.
“Doy, ano ba talagang nangyari?” Ten asked carefully, looking at his best friend worriedly.
“You’re gonna be late, Ten,” paalala ni Doyoung na may pilit na ngiti pero inilingan lang siya ng kaibigan.
“I still have a few minutes to talk. So?” patuloy na usisa ni Ten kaya napabuntong-hininga na lang si Doyoung. He sat up and pushed the covers off of him before looking at Ten.
“He lied to me,” umpisa ni Doyoung, but Ten already knew that. Yun ang una niyang narinig paglabas niya ng kwarto nung Sabado.
“About what?”
Instead of answering, Doyoung took his phone, fiddled with it for a few seconds before showing Ten a picture. Ten squinted his eyes at the screen to have a better look at it, then they widened when he saw Jaehyun and his ex at what appears to be a party. They were on the corner of the frame, but he couldn’t be mistaken because Jaehyun was wearing his favorite hoodie, the one Doyoung gifted with a LOVE JD printed on one sleeve.
“Ininvite siya ng dormmate niyang si Eunwoo sa party nung Bryan pero sabi niya hindi siya pupunta at matutulog siya ng maaga kasi pagod raw siya. Tapos malalaman ko na lang na andun siya sa party at kasama ang ex niya,” Doyoung deadpanned but Ten knew he’s still upset. Ganyan si Doyoung kapag galit, Kunwaring walang pake.
“Nag-usap na ba kayo? Di ba magkasama kayo kahapon?”
“Hindi pa. Hindi pa ‘ko handang marinig ang mga sasabihin niya. Baka hindi ako maniwala,” malungkot na sabi ni Doyoung.
Naiintindihan ni Ten. Ang pinakaayaw ni Doyoung sa lahat ay yung magsisinungaling ka sa kanya. He’s had enough of that with his exes. Nagkaroon siya ng malalang trust issues dahil sa mga yun. Ten thought Jaehyun would be different. After all, wala pa namang ginagawa si Jaehyun para saktan si Doyoung intentionally and he really treats Doyoung well. Ito pa lang ang unang beses na sumablay ito kung tutuusin pero may kutob si Ten na isang malaking misunderstanding lang ito, na hindi naman talaga nagsinungaling si Jaehyun. Kaso ayaw niyang pilitin si Doyoung na makipag-usap. Ang tanging magagawa niya lang ay damayan ito at siguruhing ayos lang ang best friend niya.
Niyakap ni Ten si Doyoung para iparating na andito lang siya. Gumanti naman ng yakap si Doyoung at nanatili silang ganon hanggang sa tumunog ang cellphone ni Ten.
“Kun’s here,” bulong ni Doyoung pero hindi pa rin ito kumakalas sa yakap.
“He can wait for a few more minutes,” bulong pabalik ni Ten bago hinigpitan ang yakap sa kaibigan. Doyoung chuckled. “Kumain ka ng almusal, okay? Promise me,” utos ni Ten sa Kunwaring striktong boses.
“I will, I promise. Now, go. Mahuhuli ka na sa klase mo.”
Dahan-dahang naghiwalay ang dalawa saka nagtitigan. Doyoung gave Ten a reassuring smile so Ten sighed and stood up.
“I’ll see you later,” paalam ni Ten before giving Doyoung’s cheek a peck.
“Ingat kayo ni Kun,” paalala ni Doyoung na tinanguan ni Ten.
“Una na ‘ko.”
“Mm.”
Ten walked out of Doyoung’s room and dialed his boyfriend’s number while getting his things from the couch in the living room.
“I’m on my way down. Nag-usap lang kami ni Doyoung,” sabi niya nang sagutin ni Kun ang tawag.
“Take your time, baby,” rinig ni Ten ang ngiti ni Kun mula sa kabilang linya kaya napangiti rin siya. Nagmadali siyang bumaba para agad na makita ang sobrang gwapo niyang jowa.
Pagkalabas ng dorm building nila ay nakita niya agad si Kun na nakasandal sa kotse nito at nakapamulsa habang naghihintay sa kanya. Shit, umagang-umaga, ang pogi-pogi ng boyfriend ko.
Mabilis na nilapitan ni Kun si Ten para tulungan itong buhatin ang ibang gamit niya.
“Good morning, baby,” bati ni Kun saka binigyan ng mabilis na halik ang labi ni Ten na agad nagpalawak ng ngiti ng huli at nagpapula ng mga pisngi nito.
“Gwapo mo today, papi,” pabirong lambing ni Ten kaya napatawa si Kun. Pati tawa ang gwapo rin.
“And you look beautiful as always. Tara na? Baka malate ka,” yaya ni Kun na sinang-ayunan ni Ten.
Pagkatapos siyang pagbuksan ng pinto ay nilagay muna ni Kun ang mga gamit niya sa likod ng kotse bago sumakay sa driver’s seat. But before Kun could start the car, Ten grabbed his face and kissed him hard. He couldn’t resist. Kun just looked so ravishing today.
Pagkatapos nilang maghalikan ay ngumiti ng malawak si Ten bago kinabit ang seatbelt niya.
“Now, I’m ready to start my day.”
[[[|]]]
Nasa labas na ng dorm building si Doyoung para hintayin si Jaehyun. Natatapos ang unang klase ni Jaehyun ng 10:30 AM at mag-uumpisa naman ng 11 AM ang kay Doyoung. Kahit may hindi pagkakaintindihan ang dalawa ay hindi naman gaanong naapektuhan ang mga nakasanayan na nila. They still do things together, katulad ng nakagawiang pagsisimba nila tuwing Linggo, hindi nga lang sila nag-uusap.
Ilang minuto ang nakalipas ay dumating na rin si Jaehyun. Mabilis siyang bumaba para kunin ang gamit ni Doyoung at pagbuksan ito ng pinto. Walang nag-imikan sa kanilang dalawa. Pagkakuha ni Jaehyun ng mga bitbit ni Doyoung ay hinalikan niya lang ang noo nito saka binuksan ang pinto para makasakay si Doyoung. He then placed Doyoung’s things at the backseat before jogging towards the driver’s side to get in.
The whole drive was quiet. Nakatingin lang si Doyoung sa labas ng bintana habang nakafocus naman si Jaehyun sa daan. Hindi na muling sinubukan ni Jaehyun na kausapin si Doyoung tungkol sa litratong nakita nito dahil gaya ng payo ni Ten ay hinihintay niyang si Doyoung ang magbukas ng topic. Handa naman siya anytime, si Doyoung ang hindi pa. But Jaehyun can wait. Wish niya lang na sana ay may mahihintay pa siya.
Nakarating din sila sa college building ni Doyoung kalaunan. Bumaba si Jaehyun para muling pagbuksan ng pinto si Doyoung saka kinuha ang mga gamit nito sa likod para iabot sa kanya. Isang mahinang salamat lang ang sinabi ni Doyoung bago muling sinukbit ang bag niya.
“I’ll pick you up later,” paalala ni Jaehyun na tinanguan lang ni Doyoung. Jaehyun kissed Doyoung’s forehead again, a couple of seconds longer this time, and muttered I love you against Doyoung’s hair before letting go so Doyoung could go to his class.
“Ingat,” tango ni Doyoung bago naglakad papasok ng building.
May konting kirot na naramdaman si Jaehyun nang hindi sagutin ni Doyoung ang I love you niya pero naiintindihan niya naman. Pinanood niya na lang si Doyoung hanggang sa tuluyan na itong mawala sa paningin niya. Dun lang umalis si Jaehyun para pumunta sa susunod niyang klase.
[[[|]]]
Sa isang fast food restaurant napagdesisyunang maglunch ng magkakaibigan. Nahuli ng konti sila Doyoung dahil nag-OT ang prof ni Jaehyun kaya hindi siya nasundo agad. Sinabihan naman nila sina Johnny na mauna nang umorder kaya hinihintay na lang ng mga ito yung ibang order na wala pa sa mesa pagkarating nina Jaehyun.
Tulad ng nakagawian ay si Jaehyun ang tagaorder para sa kanilang dalawa ni Doyoung habang si Doyoung ang tagahanap ng mauupuan pero dahil meron na ay kinuha na lang ni Doyoung ang mga gamit ni Jaehyun para hindi na ito mahirapan. Alam na rin nito kung anong inoorder ni Doyoung kaya hindi na kailangang sabihin sa kanya.
“Kuya Doy, bati na kayo?” walang prenong tanong ni Jungwoo pagkaupo ni Doyoung kaya sinamaan ng tingin nina Ten at Taeyong ang nakababata.
“Yuta, bubusalan ko yang jowa mo,” warning ni Taeyong na tinawanan lang ng isa pero sinuway niya pa rin ang boyfriend niya.
“Woo, pakainin muna natin si Doy, hm? And maybe ask him kapag kayong dalawa na lang,” mahinahong sabi ni Yuta habang hinihimas ang braso ni Jungwoo para hindi ito magdamdam.
“Okay. Sorry, kuya,” paumanhin ni Jungwoo na nginitian ni Doyoung.
“Ayos lang,” kibit-balikat ni Doyoung. Hindi naman siya naoffend pero ayaw niya munang pag-usapan kaya hindi na siya umimik.
Hindi nagtagal ay dumating na rin si Jaehyun dala ang order nila ni Doyoung. Pagkalapag sa mesa ay agad na inabot ni Jaehyun ang mga kubyertos na gagamitin nila pati na rin ang tissue na mabilis tinanggap ni Doyoung. Habang pinupunasan niya ang mga ito isa-isa ay nilalagay naman ni Jaehyun ang mga pagkain sa mesa, saka nilalagay ni Doyoung ang mga natapos nang punasan sa mga plato nila.
Ipinatong ni Jaehyun ang tray sa corner kung saan dapat ito ilagay bago siya umupo sa tabi ni Doyoung. Pagkatapos ay nilabas ni Doyoung ang alcohol at hand sanitizer sa bag para lagyan ang mga kamay nila.
Ganito na ang naging routine nila sa tuwing kakain sa labas, may kanya-kanyang toka kaya para silang kumikilos on autopilot.
Nang kumpleto na ang pagkain ng lahat ay nagsimula na silang kumain. Pinilas ni Jaehyun ang balat ng chicken niya at nilagay yun sa plato ni Doyoung samantalang si Doyoung naman ay binigay kay Jaehyun ang fries niya saka binuksan ang extra gravy na lagi nilang nirerequest para ibuhos sa kanin ni Jaehyun dahil hilig nitong gawing sabaw ang gravy kapag kumakain.
Pinapanood lang sila ng mga kaibigan nila nang may nagtatakang mga tingin maliban kina Ten at Taeyong. Halatang hindi pa rin sila ayos dahil hindi sila nag-iimikan pero… ang sweet pa rin nila?
"Magkaaway ba talaga yang dalawang yan?" bulong ni Johnny sa boyfriend niyang si Taeyong na inilingan lang nito.
"Di ka pa nasanay," bulong niya pabalik bago sinubuan ito ng fries.
Nagbukas na lang ng topic si Ten para mabaling sa iba ang atensyon ng lahat at hindi mailang si Doyoung, na sa kabutihang palad ay sinakyan ni Kun. Mabuti na lang at nakaramdam naman ang iba kaya nakahinga ng maluwag si Ten.
Napuno ng ingay ang mesa nila, walang ilangan kahit na may tampuhan pa rin ang dalawa sa mga kasama nila. Sumasagot at nakikitawa rin ang mga ito pero hindi pa rin sila nagpapansinan.
Nang matapos kumain ay nagpaalam si Doyoung na magbabanyo muna para umihi. Sumama si Taeyong sa kanya dahil kailangan din nitong maghugas ng kamay.
Pagkarating sa banyo ay dumiretso ang dalawa sa kung saan nila kailangang pumunta.
“Ayos ka lang ba, Doy?” kumusta ni Taeyong sa kaibigan habang nasa lababo at nagsasabon ng mga kamay. Ngayon niya lang kasi makakausap ang kaibigan tungkol sa nangyari nung Sabado.
Hindi agad sumagot si Doyoung, tinapos muna ang ginagawa bago lumapit sa kaibigan para maghugas din ng kamay.
Doyoung was quiet for a few seconds, mulling over his thoughts as he dried his hands before he faced his other best friend.
“No. Not really,” Doyoung confessed. He decided to vent on Taeyong. “I’m still upset, and hurt, and disappointed in him. But at the same time, I don’t want him to be away from me for too long. But everytime I see him, I can’t help but be reminded of what he did and I feel so betrayed. But he still makes my heart race and makes me feel safe and… hindi ko na alam, ang gulo-gulo. Naguguluhan ako,” iling ni Doyoung at halata nga sa mukha nitong nalilito ito ng sobra. Taeyong understood.
Nakwento na ni Ten kay Taeyong ang mga nangyari at gaya ni Ten ay naniniwala rin si Taeyong na hindi intensyon ni Jaehyun na saktan si Doyoung o magsinungaling sa kanya. Alam ni Jaehyun ang mga pinagdaanan ni Doyoung, lalo na sa mga ex nitong sinungaling at manloloko, para ulitin ang mga pagkakamali nila. Isa pa, sobrang mahal na mahal ng mokong na yun ang best friend niya kaya imposibleng gagawa ito ng kalokohan na pwedeng maging dahilan ng pagkawala ni Doyoung dito.
“Am I being unfair to him?” biglang tanong ni Doyoung habang nakatingin sa sahig. Hindi niya tuloy nakita ang pag-iling ni Taeyong.
“No, you’re not. Your feelings are valid and your actions are understandable. I'm sure Jaehyun understands that you still need more time,” Taeyong assured his best friend so he wouldn’t overthink. Doyoung really has a bad habit of doing that. “But can I say something?” he asked carefully, waiting for Doyoung’s answer.
Kinabahan ng konti si Doyoung pero agad niya ring inalis sa isip ang takot kasi si Taeyong ‘to, eh. Kung may opinion mang kailangan niyang pakinggan, kay Taeyong yun. Silang dalawa ni Ten ang mas nakakakilala sa kanya, minsan mas higit pa sa sarili niya.
“Sure,” sagot ni Doyoung habang hinahanda ang sarili sa sasabihin ni Taeyong.
Lumapit ito sa kanya bago nagsalita.
“Most of the time, you tend to overuse this,” tinuro ni Taeyong ang sintido ni Doyoung, “that sometimes you fail to listen to this,” saka niya binaba ang daliri hanggang matapat ito sa kaliwang dibdib ni Doyoung kung nasaan ang puso nito. “You miss him. But all the thoughts in your head are stopping you from fixing this,” honest na sabi ni Taeyong sa malumanay na boses.
And Doyoung felt guilty, because it’s true. He overthinks a lot, aminado naman siya dun. There would be times when he’d be so lost in his head that he would ignore what his heart is telling him. And this case isn’t any different. He was so busy thinking of a million reasons why Jaehyun did what he did that he forgot to listen to his heart of what it feels about the situation.
But Doyoung can’t help it. May trauma na siya sa pagsisinungaling kaya hindi niya maiwasang mag-overthink minsan. And Jaehyun knows that.
Nung una ay galit siya kay Jaehyun dahil nagsinungaling ito, at kung anu-ano na ang tumakbo sa isip niya tungkol dito na pati siya ay hindi na alam kung ano ang unang mararamdaman. But when his mind got tired of overthinking giving his heart a time to catch up and make him see reason, he began second guessing his decision of not talking to Jaehyun.
He knew deep inside that Jaehyun wouldn’t intentionally hurt him. He’s proven countless times that he could be trusted. And Doyoung does. He trusts Jaehyun with his life. But his head… god, his head.
He jumped to conclusions and thought of worst case scenarios, then he ended up believing some of it. So when his heart started asking him questions he didn’t have the answer to, he was frustrated, conflicted, and confused. Kaya kahit miss na miss niya na si Jaehyun ay hindi niya pa rin ito makausap. Dahil magulo pa ang isip niya.
“He really loves you, Doy. And I know you still love him.”
Doyoung looked up and saw Taeyong’s comforting smile, and it unsurprisingly eased his mind. He nodded. Hindi naman nagbago, hindi rin nabawasan. Mahal niya pa rin si Jaehyun.
“Sobra,” he muttered under his breath, his heart fluttering inside his chest at the thought of his boyfriend.
Taeyong walked towards him to envelop him in a hug.
“You know what to do.”
Magkaakbay silang bumalik sa table kung saan ready nang umalis ang mga kasama nila. Agad na tumayo ang mga ito nang makita silang papalapit na. Bitbit na ni Jaehyun ang mga gamit ni Doyoung at ganon din si Johnny kay Taeyong.
“Doy, sasabay ako sa inyo, ha? Di ko dinala kotse ko, eh,” paalam ni Yuta na may malaking ngiti.
“Nagcommute kayo ni Woo papunta rito?” gulat na tanong ni Doyoung pero inilingan siya ni Yuta.
“Sumabay kami kina Kun.”
“Bakit samin ka sasabay pabalik?”
“Madadaanan niyo yung gym papunta sa susunod na klase mo, di ba? Papababa na lang ako ro’n. Si Woo, kila Ten ulit sasabay kasi same building lang sila ni Kun.”
Medyo nadisappoint si Doyoung sa narinig. Balak na sana niyang kausapin si Jaehyun habang pabalik sila ng campus pero mukhang kailangan muna niyang ipagpaliban. Ayaw niya namang tanggihan ang kaibigan niya kaya wala siyang nagawa kung hindi ang tumango.
Naglalakad na sila papunta sa parking lot nang biglang may tumawag kay Jaehyun kaya napalingon sila.
“Oh, shit,” rinig ni Doyoung na bulong ni Jungwoo pero ang mga mata niya ay napako lang sa babaeng papalapit.
“Sujie,” gulat na tawag ni Jaehyun at agad siyang napalingon kay Doyoung na hindi na maipinta ang itsura habang nakatingin lang sa bagong dating.
Lumakas ang kabog ng dibdib ni Jaehyun.
“Nahulog mo nung Sabado kina Bryan,” nakangiting abot nito ng isang bunny keychain kay Jaehyun, unaware of the growing tension in the air.
“O-oh, kaya pala di ko mahanap sa dorm,” kinakabahang sagot ni Jaehyun habang kinukuha ang keychain na niregalo sa kanya ni Doyoung. “Salamat, Sujie.” Mabilis niya itong tinago sa bulsa habang kinakalma ang sarili.
“Sige, yun lang naman. Una na ‘ko. Ingat kayo,” paalam niya sa mga kasama ni Jaehyun, kahit minsan ay hindi natanggal ang ngiti sa mga labi, bago naglakad papasok sa fast food restaurant kasama ang mga kaibigan niya.
Agad na hinarap ni Jaehyun si Doyoung.
“Love–”
“Tara na, mahuhuli ako sa klase,” malamig na sabi nito bago tumalikod at nag-umpisang maglakad. Dali-daling humabol si Jaehyun para i-unlock ang kotse niya at pagbuksan si Doyoung ng pinto.
Napailing na lang ang mga kaibigan nila.
“Wrong timing naman yung ex ni Jaehyun. Umookay na sila, eh,” comment ni Jungwoo habang nakatingin sa dalawa. Hindi sumagot ang mga kasama niya but they were thinking the same thing, lalo na si Taeyong. Nakita niya kaninang ready na si Doyoung na makipag-usap kay Jaehyun pero dahil sa nangyari, mukhang mapopostpone na naman.
He and Ten sighed.
“Tara na. Malelate na tayo,” yaya na lang ni Ten saka naglakad papunta sa kotse ni Kun.
“Ingat kayo,” paalala ni Taeyong sa kanila bago siya sumakay sa kotse ni Johnny.
He watched with a worried gaze as Jaehyun’s car backed out of the parking lot and slowly drove away.
“They’ll be okay, babe.”
Pinisil ni Johnny ng bahagya ang hita ni Taeyong to comfort him. Alam niyang nag-aalala ito para sa dalawang kaibigan nila but Johnny trusts those two. Alam niyang hindi basta-basta matitinag ang dalawang yun dahil lang sa isang hindi pagkakaunawaan.
“I hope so,” bulong ni Taeyong bago nilabas ang cellphone niya to send Doyoung a text.
tyong bubu:
your heart is a lot braver than your mind, doy. i hope you don’t ignore what it feels this time.
[[[|]]]
Nakatingin si Doyoung sa labas ng bintana habang dumadaldal ang prof niya sa harap ng klase. Napansin niyang medyo kumukulimlim kaya napasimangot siya. Wala siyang dalang payong. Hindi rin siya mahahatid ni Jaehyun.
At the thought of his boyfriend, muli niya na namang naalala ang nangyari kanina pagkatapos nilang maglunch.
Tahimik lang ang buong kotse, kahit si Yuta na usually ay madaldal ay walang imik. Siguro ay nadama nito na hindi okay ang lahat kaya hindi ito gumawa ng ingay. Si Jaehyun naman ay sinusulyap-sulyapan siya pero hindi rin nagsalita. Ramdam ni Doyoung ang kaba nito pero ni hindi niya ito tinapunan ng tingin buong byahe. Hindi niya na rin hinintay pang pagbuksan siya ng pinto. Siya na ang kusang bumaba at umalis na lang nang walang paalam. Hindi naman siya hinabol ni Jaehyun, and Doyoung was thankful kasi baka kung ano pang nasabi niya kapag kinulit siya nito.
Galit si Doyoung. Kasi the exchange in the parking lot just proved na tama siya, pumunta si Jaehyun sa party at kasama niya ang ex niya. Anong klaseng explanation pa ang pwedeng sabihin ni Jaehyun para sabihing hindi ito nagsinungaling? Walang maisip na iba si Doyoung. Jaehyun was there when he said he wouldn’t go. Paano pa siya lulusot kung ang dami nang proof ng pagsisinungaling niya?
Pero kasi… merong parte sa kanya na ayaw maniwala na magagawa sa kanya ni Jaehyun yun. Mas lumakas ang parte na yun pagkatapos ng pag-uusap nila ni Taeyong.
Doyoung is torn. His mind is telling him to protect himself from the pain, but his heart keeps telling him to trust.
“Your heart is a lot braver than your mind.”
Napakagat ng labi si Doyoung.
Tama naman si Taeyong. Dahil habang ang isip niya ay pinupuno siya ng takot, ang puso niya ay patuloy pa ring sumusugal kay Jaehyun. Sa isang milyong rasong binigay sa kanya ng utak niya para hindi na muling pagbigyan si Jaehyun, isang rason lang ang binibigay ng puso niya, at sapat na yun para matabunan ang lahat ng pangamba niya.
Mahal mo siya.
Naputol ang iniisip ni Doyoung nang may biglang tumamang patak sa bintanang tinitignan niya. Mabilis itong sinundan ng isa pa, at isa pa, at isa pa, hanggang sa tuluyan na ngang umulan.
Napabuntong-hininga siya.
Hindi sila sabay uuwi ni Jaehyun ngayon dahil may panggabi ito samantalang huling klase na ito ni Doyoung ngayong araw. Wala pa siyang payong. Ang sakayan pa naman ay medyo malayo sa building niya.
“That’s all for today. Don’t forget to prepare for the long quiz next meeting. Class dismissed,” paalam ng prof niya bago ito lumabas ng classroom.
Mabagal na inayos ni Doyoung ang mga gamit, nagdadalawang-isip kung patitilain ba muna niya ang ulan o magpapasundo na lang sa mga kaibigan. Ayaw niya na sanang mang-abala. Napaka-out of the way kung magpapahatid siya kina Johnny. Kanina pa nakauwi sina Ten at Kun kaya hindi rin pwede. Sina Yuta naman ay may mga panggabi rin kaya ekis na.
Doyoung sighed again. Bahala na nga.
Pababa na siya ng hagdan nang biglang tumunog ang cellphone niya. Nilabas niya ito sa bulsa niya para tignan kung sino ang nagtext. Nang makitang si Jaehyun ito, medyo nawala siya sa mood.
my love j 🥰:
it's raining
may payong sa bag mo sa pangatlong zipper. use it para may protection ka sa ulan.
Nang tignan ni Doyoung ang bag niya ay andun nga ang kulay berdeng payong ni Jaehyun. He figured Jaehyun must’ve put it in his bag nung nagbanyo sila ni Taeyong.
Nakaramdam siya ng konting inis. Hindi niya alam kung sa payong, kay Jaehyun, o sa sarili niya.
He rolled his eyes and continued walking. When he reached the exit, he unraveled the umbrella then left the building. Pero imbes na pumunta sa sakayan, he went the other way until his feet took him to Jaehyun’s college building where he saw Jaehyun alone at the entrance, seemingly waiting for the rain to stop. Mas lalo siyang sumimangot.
Nang makita siya ni Jaehyun ay kumunot ang noo nito.
Doyoung should be going home by now. Why was he there?
Tumigil si Doyoung ilang hakbang ang layo mula kay Jaehyun, sa gitna pa rin ng ulan.
“What are you doing here?” takang tanong ni Jaehyun sa kanya pero sinamaan niya ito ng tingin.
“Wala kang payong?”
“Meron.”
“Then why not use it?”
“Because you’re using it.”
Mas lalong nainis si Doyoung sa sagot ni Jaehyun. He gritted his teeth while still glaring at his boyfriend.
“Bakit mo binigay sakin kung wala ka naman palang extra?”
“I can wait it out. Mas kailangan mo yan. Hindi ka pwedeng mabasa ng ulan dahil sisipunin ka and you hate catching a cold.”
Doyoung felt his heart skip a beat despite his annoyance. He remained standing there staring at Jaehyun without saying anything, not knowing how to respond.
Jaehyun held his gaze, never looking away from him, and Doyoung felt his anger slowly leaving his body until all he felt was surrender. He let the umbrella fall on his side without a care that the rain was slowly drenching him.
Jaehyun’s eyes widened when Doyoung just stood under the rain, letting himself get soaked. Mabilis siyang tumakbo, not minding if he's getting wet, too, just to get to Doyoung. He quickly grabbed the umbrella and put it above their heads to shield them from the downpour. Hindi ganon kalaki ang payong para sa kanilang dalawa kaya kailangang hapitin ni Jaehyun si Doyoung sa bewang para magdikit ang mga katawan nila at hindi gaanong mabasa.
“What do you think you’re doing? Para saan pa’t binigay ko sayo ‘to kung magpapakabasa ka rin?” scolded Jaehyun, nag-aalala ang mga matang nakatingin kay Doyoung.
Umiling lang si Doyoung bago sinalubong ang mga mata ng nobyo.
“You’re right, I hate catching a cold. But there’s nothing I hate more than fighting with you,” Doyoung confessed, and he saw how Jaehyun’s gaze softened.
“Love…” Jaehyun weakly called out but he didn’t say anything else.
Doyoung took a deep breath to calm down because he can feel himself getting close to tears and he didn’t wanna break down in front of Jaehyun before he could even say what he wanted to tell his boyfriend.
“I’m sorry,” Doyoung started, unconsciously grabbing a fistful of Jaehyun’s shirt to help keep his tears at bay. “I’m sorry for calling you a liar, and not giving you the chance to explain your side. I was just... when I saw the picture of you with your ex at the party, my mind just went straight to that ugly place. I should've trusted you. I know you wouldn’t do that to me. My heart knows you won’t hurt me like that but my head…” Doyoung shook his head, all choked up and teary-eyed, and Jaehyun’s heart ached at the sight. He swallowed the heaviness in his throat before gently wiping the corner of Doyoung’s eyes where the tears have gathered.
He hates seeing Doyoung like this, so heartbroken and crying. It hurts him more to see the love of his life hurting.
“I understand, love. Please don’t cry.” Jaehyun caressed Doyoung’s cheek with his thumb, trying to hold his own tears back.
Doyoung closed his eyes and tried to keep his breathing even. He nodded at Jaehyun to tell him he’s fine, but he didn’t say anything in fear of his voice breaking.
Jaehyun figured Doyoung was still not ready to speak so he continued.
“I’m sorry, too, for not telling you sooner. Alam ko kasing magigising ka kapag nagtext o tumawag ako kaya inisip ko na sabihin na lang kinabukasan kapag nagkita tayo. But you saw the picture first and… then we fought.” Jaehyun bit his lip, unsure if that was the right thing to say. Good thing, Doyoung didn’t seem to take it the wrong way.
Doyoung understood. Totoo naman kasing nagigising siya agad kapag may nagtext o tumawag sa kanya, lalo na kapag narinig niya ang ringtone niya para kay Jaehyun. Babangon siya agad para basahin o sagutin yun kung sakali kahit pa sobrang pagod siya at kailangan niya ng pahinga. Jaehyun also knew that, kaya madalas ay kinabukasan niya na sinasabi unless sobrang urgent.
“Yeah, I might have overreacted a bit.” Doyoung tried faking a smile but it didn’t reach his eyes. Jaehyun shook his head at him.
“No, you didn’t. Galit ka. Normal lang na reaksyon yun ng taong galit. Naiintindihan ko,” paniniguro ni Jaehyun. Gets niya naman ang reaksyon ni Doyoung, eh. He’s not holding it against him. The picture really looked suspicious and could cause a misunderstanding.
Pero kailangan niya nang sabihin kay Doyoung ang totoong nangyari para maliwanagan na ito. Ayaw na ni Jaehyun na mag-isip pa ito ng kung anu-ano.
“Are you ready to hear my side now?”
Doyoung took a deep breath and nodded, giving Jaehyun his full attention. No more running away. It's time to know the truth.
Jaehyun held him close before speaking.
“The reason why I was there was because of Eunwoo,” panimula ni Jaehyun na nagpakunot ng noo ni Doyoung.
“Your roommate?” tanong niya para makasiguro na pareho ang iniisip nila.
“Mm-hm,” nodded Jaehyun. “He was at the party, remember?”
Now that Doyoung thinks about it, nasabi nga ni Jaehyun sa kanya na niyayaya siya ni Eunwoo kina Bryan pero tumanggi si Jaehyun. So if he declined the invite then why was Jaehyun there? Tapos sinasabi pa niya na dahil kay Eunwoo. Eh di nagbago ang isip ni Jaehyun last minute? So he really did lie?
Naputol ang pag-iisip ni Doyoung nang maramdaman niya ang mga labi ni Jaehyun sa noo niya na nagpalakas ng tibok ng puso niya, tinatabunan ang ingay sa isip niya.
“Not in your head, love. Right here,” bulong ni Jaehyun, at dun lang namalayan ni Doyoung na pinapairal niya na naman ang pagiging overthinker niya kesa ang makinig sa sinasabi ni Jaehyun.
He closed his eyes and sighed, emptying his mind of any doubts before facing his boyfriend.
“Sorry, bad habit. Anong kinalaman ni Eunwoo sa pagpunta mo dun?” pagbabalik niya sa pinag-uusapan nila. Jaehyun smiled.
“When I said goodnight that night, I immediately fell asleep because I was tired from practice, just like I told you. But then Sujie called me at two in the morning asking me if I could fetch Eunwoo because he was so drunk he couldn’t stand on his own, let alone go back to the dorms. So I did. She approached me when I arrived and told me where Eunwoo was and I guess somebody happened to snap a photo of us at that moment. But I promise you, there was nothing there. I was just there for a friend and I left immediately with Eunwoo after I found him. It was just ten minutes tops,” Jaehyun explained, finally feeling a huge weight fall off his shoulders. He finally told the truth.
Jaehyun would never lie to Doyoung, especially because he knows it’d hurt him. He couldn’t hurt his baby that way, he'd rather get beaten up to a pulp. That would hurt less than seeing Doyoung cry because of him.
Doyoung, on the other hand, began making sense of all the things in his head with Jaehyun’s explanation. Now, it’s all clear to him. He now knows what truly happened. Jaehyun didn’t lie to him. He was only being a good friend by helping Eunwoo get home safely and a considerate boyfriend by not texting Doyoung and risking waking him up.
Because Jaehyun has always been like that. He’s always so reliable and kind, Doyoung could not believe he even doubted him. But he knew better now, and he’d do better next time.
“I believe you,” Doyoung smiled, the heaviness in his chest getting lighter until he could breathe easy again.
Tama nga ang sabi nila. The truth does set you free, because now Doyoung is free from all the thoughts in his head. Lahat ng inisip niyang masama, nabura. Lahat ng takot na nabuo sa utak niya, nawala. Lahat ng pangamba niya, naglaho na parang bula.
Pero ang pagmamahal niya para kay Jaehyun? Mas lumala pa, sobra pa sa sobra-sobra.
And he has to tell Jaehyun that before he explodes.
“I love you, Jaehyun,” sambit ni Doyoung na punung-puno ng pagmamahal habang nakatingin sa mga mata ni Jaehyun.
Mas humigpit ang kapit ni Jaehyun sa kanya nang marinig nitong muli ang tatlong salitang yun na sobra niyang namiss.
“I love you more, Doyoung,” Jaehyun uttered with all his heart.
The love that they have for each other felt too much at that moment that they weren’t able to hold themselves back any longer. They didn’t know who made the first move but when they felt their lips touch, it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was that they’re okay now. And they’re stronger than ever.
Jaehyun wanted to pull Doyoung closer to kiss him deeper but he’s still holding the umbrella above their heads. But when Doyoung pulled him closer by the waist and licked at his bottom lip, he said to hell with it and let the umbrella go, instead placing his now free hand at the back of Doyoung’s neck to deepen the kiss.
They could feel the raindrops falling on them, quickly drenching them both, but they paid it no mind. At that moment, there were just the two of them, sharing a passionate kiss full of love under the pouring rain. No unwanted thoughts, no lies, no fear, just their love for each other that felt stronger than before.
Magkapatong ang mga noo nila nang maghiwalay ang mga labi nila, habol ang hininga at dama ang tubig-ulan na patuloy na bumubuhos sa kanilang dalawa. Pero hindi nila ito alintana, dahil ang mahalaga ngayon ay okay na sila.
“Sisipunin ka na naman,” natatawang bulong ni Jaehyun pero mas hinigpitan niya lang ang yakap kay Doyoung.
“Hindi ka na makakapasok sa huling klase mo,” sagot ni Doyoung saka pinaglayo ang mga mukha nila para tignan si Jaehyun.
“Isang meeting lang naman. I’ll just ask Cheng for his notes. Right now, kailangan na nating umuwi dahil baka magkasakit ka.”
Magkahawak kamay silang pumunta sa kotse ni Jaehyun at tulad ng nakagawian ay pinagbuksan ni Jaehyun ng pinto si Doyoung. Nung una ay nag-aalala pa si Doyoung dahil mababasa ang upuan pero inassure siya ni Jaehyun na ayos lang. Pagkapasok ay kinuha ni Jaehyun ang hoodie niya na lagi niyang dala para mapalitan ang basang damit ni Doyoung para hindi ito ginawin.
“Tara sa dorm para makapagpalit tayo ng tuyong damit. May mga damit ka naman dun kaya hindi na kailangang dumaan sa dorm mo,” yaya ni Doyoung habang nilalabas ni Jaehyun ang kotse sa parking lot.
“Okay po.”
“And spend the night,” Doyoung muttered, feeling a little shy at his sudden request. “Please?” he added in an even quieter voice but Jaehyun heard him loud and clear.
Jaehyun took one of Doyoung’s cold hands in his and planted a kiss that spread warmth in Doyoung’s chest.
“I’d love to,” Jaehyun agreed before looking back at the road, a permanent smile on his face and holding Doyoung’s hand in his without the intention of letting go. Doyoung seemed to have the same idea, because he quietly laced their fingers together and held Jaehyun’s hand tight as if afraid Jaehyun might slip away if he didn’t.
When they reached Doyoung’s dorm, they found Ten on the couch texting. He looked up and saw them holding hands. Ten smiled before looking at Doyoung with expectant eyes, as if asking if what he’s thinking was correct. Doyoung nodded his head and Ten beamed before muttering finally then he went to the bathroom to fetch some towels for his friends who were wet from the rain.
It was like everything was back to the way it was, like nothing happened. The couple cuddled on the couch with a blanket around them while they watched a movie just like they used to, then made dinner together and ate with Ten, before they went to Doyoung’s room to get ready for bed.
Jaehyun held Doyoung close, making sure there was no space left between them and their bodies were completely flushed against each other. Even though it was just two days, he still missed Doyoung terribly, so he’s gonna make up for those times that he didn’t get to hold Doyoung like this. Jaehyun placed a soft kiss at the top of Doyoung’s head and sighed, feeling happy and content just having Doyoung in his arms.
They were quiet for a while, Jaehyun almost dozing off, when he felt Doyoung move to lift his head and look at him. He looked back down and stared in Doyoung’s beautiful eyes, waiting for what Doyoung would do.
“Love,” Doyoung broke the silence after a few seconds. Jaehyun hummed and waited for him to continue so Doyoung took a deep breath before flashing a small smile. “I forgot to thank you for being patient and understanding with me the past couple of days. I admit I can be frustrating and difficult sometimes but I’m thankful that you never gave up on me.”
Jaehyun shook his head and pulled Doyoung closer, as if there was still space left for Doyoung to fit into.
“I will never give up on you, love. Never.”
Doyoung knew that but his heart still fluttered when he heard Jaehyun say it. He placed a soft kiss on Jaehyun’s lips before looking into his eyes again.
“I want to make a promise,” he smiled and cupped Jaehyun’s face to caress his cheek with his thumb. “I can’t promise not to overthink from now on; it’s something I still need to work on but I will work on it. But I can promise that no matter how bad the thoughts in my head are or how loud the voices get, I will choose to trust my heart and our love, and I will choose to trust you,” Doyoung said earnestly, and he meant to keep his word, even if it’s the last thing he’ll do.
Jaehyun looked at him with eyes full of love so overwhelming, Doyoung decided to lean in to capture Jaehyun’s lips into a passionate kiss before he bursts with so much emotion. Jaehyun kissed back just as eager and they spent the rest of the night loving each other, and they both knew they’re gonna be okay.
Maybe there is some truth in what others say. That misunderstandings are also important in a relationship. You have to go through challenges to know how much love you have for each other, to see if that love is enough for you to do everything in your power to make the relationship work.
For Doyoung and Jaehyun, it is more than enough. They’re willing to go through whatever as long as it’s the two of them together. They will try their hardest to make it work because they can’t imagine themselves with other people. They don’t think they can love anybody else as hard and as much as they do with each other. And that’s the thing that they’re tightlyholding onto, the hope that pushes them to keep fighting.
So that’s what they’ll do. They will fight with all that they have, and make sure that their love will always win.