Chapter Text
You had been feeling down for a while now. By the time you had decided maybe it wasn't just regular sadness it was too late, you had been swallowed by the thoughts in your head.
You had managed to make it through the day with no one else the wiser, mask covering your mouth so you didn't have to smile and getting tasks done before heading home. It had been a short day, merely a few hours, but it was exhausting. By the time you made it home you had already felt yourself slipping into an episode.
That's what you called it anyways, an episode. You didn't know how else to describe it, honestly. You had never been formally diagnosed with anything which made you self conscious, worried that maybe you were faking or attention seeking at times. It was definitely hard to talk yourself out of the idea at least.
You had gotten dropped off today instead of driving to and from the function and by the time you arrived home there was already a car in the driveway. You gave a soft smile at the sight of your beloved's car, feeling temporary safety before steeling yourself. It was time for you to try and hide how you were feeling, for now at least. Chances were your love was about to head out to do something or other so you wouldn't have your hopes up anyways and you definitely didn't want to bother him if he was busy.
You walked up your driveway and unlocked the door, noticing your boyfriend was about to head out. Smiling softly, you gave him a kiss on the cheek as you said your goodbyes to him, watching him head out to his car to go to the grocery store.
It couldn't have been more than a few seconds after the car was out of sight when your feelings hit you full force again. It was definitely not a good day today and you could already tell it was going to get worse.
You grabbed a piece of fruit and made your way up the steps, heading to your bedroom, and closing the door behind you. Despite living together, you and Shouta had separate rooms for when you needed your own space or had a difference in scheduling that meant late nights for one of you but not the other. It definitely came in handy, especially on nights like tonight where you could pretend that you were busy or had lots of work to do.
You didn't waste any time, stripping out of your day clothes and getting into your night clothes. It was only four in the afternoon, yet your body felt heavy, as though it was really four in the morning and you were up all night.
You sat down on your bed for a moment, elbows on your knees and your head on your palms. Everything seemed fine and then suddenly it wasn't fine anymore. It seemed like no matter how often this happened you never got used to it, and no matter how prepared you were you would always find yourself stuck, unable to help yourself.
You sighed, trying to find the energy to eat the fruit, taking a few bites out of it before setting it down on the dresser, not bothering to finish it as you curled up on your bed. You held yourself closely, arms hugging your body as you laid on your side. You didn't want to cry but honestly what else was there to do. Your feelings felt so loud at times it was like being in a thunderstorm, no reprieve from the harsh rainfall.
You buried your face into your pillow, sniffling softly as you took deep breaths, trying not to let yourself fall off of the overpass and into the festering pool of heartache. You failed of course, like always, but you'd like to think that it took longer this time.
You let yourself become one with your thoughts, tears leaking from the corner of your eyes on occasion as you blankly stared. You were so out of it that you didn't notice the first, nor the second knock on the door, nor the quiet call of your name. You did, however, notice when the door opened and your boyfriend stood there, peeking into your room.
As soon as he saw you he opened the door all the way, moving to sit next to where you were curled up on the bed. He had known as soon as he opened the door that you weren't feeling the best. You had clothes strewn about the floor and everything was a mess. Nothing was clean and the lights were off. He would bet his bottom dollar that the closet was the same way. If that wasn't telling then he didn't know what was.
"Can I touch you, (Y/N)?" He asked, sitting down next to you on the bed in order to make his stature less intimidating. You nodded, your face warm as you beat yourself up inside. You should have noticed when he came home, yet you were too busy moping around and-
"-Hey." His voice cut off the train of thought. "Don't." Shouta said, already knowing. "Don't beat yourself up, we've been over this." He said, his hand cupping your cheek to turn your face more directly towards him. Your eyes fall downward as you nod your head, sufficiently called out.
"How long have you been feeling like this?" He asked, voice steady but eyes showing concern. He could seem awfully blank sometimes but you had been around him long enough to pick up how he was feeling.
You shrugged, leaning your cheek more into his palm. "A few days, maybe? Not this bad until today though." You said, voice rough from tears.
He thumbed your cheek as he looked down at you, already coming up with his own plan to start getting things back on track.
"Have you eaten anything since you got home?" He asked, eyes still on you, presence comforting more than you could have imagined. You shrugged again, motioning to the rest of your snack on the dresser across from the bed, not bothering to say anything.
Aizawa hummed softly, thinking to himself. He rubbed your cheek once more before standing up. "I'll be right back." He said, moving out of the room. It took barely a minute before he was back, his scarf no longer around his neck, and one of your larger stuffed animals in his hands.
He moved towards, pausing next to the bed. "May I?" He asked, motioning towards you. It was sweet how much he was willing to do for you, even when you could have done it yourself when you found the energy.
You nodded and he moved forwards, helping you to sit up before wrapping his capture-device around you loosely, but still tight enough that its presence grounded you. He then set the larger stuffed animal to lay down beside you, before pushing you down softly, moving your limbs to have you koala the plush toy.
"Stay here." He said with a note of finality, planting a kiss on your forehead before leaving the room again. It took a bit longer for him to come back this time, not that you had really noticed since you were once again staring blankly ahead.
Shouta came back after about twenty minutes, already dressed in his own night clothes and carrying a tray that he set on the bedside table. He scooted you over towards the middle of the bed before sitting with his back against the headboard and pulling you to lean against his shoulder.
You had barely looked up at him when he had grabbed the tray, moving it to sit on his lap. He had grabbed an assortment of finger foods as well as jelly packs and a bottle of water to share from the kitchen. The sight of him domesticating made you smile softly from where you rested against him. He had grabbed enough for the both of you to eat and then some.
Without a word he grabbed the television remote from the bedside table and opened Youtube, pulling up your current favorite streamer to watch and letting it play softy. He adjusted you so that you could see the screen better, and, without a word, began feeding the two of you.
You rested your head against his shoulder as he offered you grapes, crackers, cheeses, and small sandwich squares. You loved this man and he loved you, and though it didn't feel like enough sometimes, it definitely was.
When you were both done eating from the DIY charcuterie board he moved the tray to sit back on the bedside table. He offered you some water, holding it up to your mouth, and you drank a little bit before resting against him once more. His left arm tugged you against him more firmly as you yawned.
"Do you want to sleep early?" He asked, palm holding your shoulder. You shrugged, tired but not knowing if you would actually rest. You took a glance at the time, only a little bit surprised to find that time had passed quicker than you thought and it was already 8 o'clock at night.
"Would you like me to stay tonight?" Sho asked, rubbing your arm with his hand. You hesitated before nodding. You would like that tonight. He nodded, turning the television off and settling the room into darkness, and the two of you laid down after removing his scarf from your person, not wanting to risk any accidents in the night.
Wordlessly, he opened his arms and drew you to him, already knowing what you wanted but were two self conscious to ask for. You breathed deeply, burying your face into his broad chest as your own arms held onto him, clinging. You didn't know why you were tearing up again, but it didn't take more than a sniffle before a large hand was rubbing against your back.
His other hand was cupping the back of your head as he began speaking softly. "Shh." Shouta hushed you quietly, comforting you. "I'm here, (Y/N). I'm not going anywhere. You can let it out." He held you close to him, whispering reassurances as you broke down, tears soaking his shirt.
Gradually, as he comforted you, you fell asleep in his arms, Aizawa whispering sweet nothings into your ear as your mind went blank and your eyes closed.
"Goodnight, (Y/N)." Was the last thing you heard as you felt his lips brush against the top of your head. "Sweet dreams..."