Work Text:
The world can be a very loud place sometimes. we’re constantly surrounded by so many noises: the horns of the cars, sirens, crowded sidewalks full of chatting people, crying babies or people fighting over a parking era. Seattle is not so quite, even at night when the world is slipping, you can always hear some kind of noise. When maya was younger, she used to find all of this so annoying. she wanted quite, she wanted peace, she craved it for so long.
The clouds; she used to think a lot about those clouds especially growing up. When she was in the multiple planes she had to take because of track meeting, or when she was preparing because of the olympics and she remembered the peace she felt just thinking about the slightest chance to sleep on those clouds and rest.
In this exact moment, she could feel it.
She was feeling the clouds even with her feet on the ground. She didn’t need to be on a plane anymore to imagine how peace felt like. At least since when she dating officially carina deluca, more when they starting to live together. Even in the middle of the restless chaos, death and misery, they were so lucky to have each other. Then they got married and Maya understood that her life began only when Carina stepped into her life. Now she could breathe finally, breathe in, breathe out and breathe through.
Now, after all these years, the world became quieter. Especially when at night she was in their bed, with her wife by her side, their bodies intertwined. she could feel carina’s warm, the scent of her shampoo, so familiar and so soothing. She could spent hours watching Carina sleeping, her chest rise and fall, in a slow and stable movement. All she could do was smiling slightly thinking about how lucky she was, she found the love of her life, her home, her safe place; all of these things embodied in Carina.
She needed to sleep, Maya knew that. She came back to her shift 40 minutes ago and right now she could start to see the sun rising above humanity but the only thing she wanted actually to watch was the amazing, beautiful woman next to her. Carina could sense the insisting gaze of her wife on her but she was too tired to say anything about it and she wasn’t bothered by it even in the slightest. A little smile was starting to grow on the brunette’s lips, letting Maya know that she was awake.
“I can feel you staring bambina..”, she told her with a raspy and sleepy voice, while she was starting to open one of her eyes, smirking slightly.
“I can’t help it, you’re beautiful.”
Maya had her chin resting on her wife chest and that smile of pure adoration on her face.
“What time did you get home? I was so tired i fall asleep the minute i came back home from the hospital.”, Carina looked at her while she was rubbing her eyes.
“I came back home at 4AM, but i didn’t slept at all…”, Maya confessed sighting, and just in that moment Carina noticed Maya’s arm bandaged.
“Bambina…what happened to your arm? Are you okay?”
Carina asked visibly concerned, starting to feel a very familiar anxiety. From the moment Maya and Carina started dating seriously, the italian was terrified thinking about Maya getting hurt. She got petrified every time the blonde was even a little bit near a death and life situation, which was stupid since Maya was literally a fire fighter and she knew how much her wife loved her job but that didn’t stop the feeling of nausea that Carina was having just right now.
The italian started to feel her eyes filling with tears while she got up being careful to Maya’s injured arm, while she looked at it very closely.
“Babe, i’m fine. It was just a little burned, i promise. It happened because i was trying to help Vic, she got stuck under a wooden beam and i burned my arm but that’s it.”
She tried to explain Carina, with a little smile on her face trying to let her know that she was okay and that she was alive and safe and at home.
Maya placed her hand gently cupping the italian’s cheek, bringing her more closer. Carina, meanwhile, she was literally panicking inside her head and she couldn’t get her eyes on Maya’s face.
“Carina, hey…baby, look at me please.”, the blonde said cupping even the other cheek with the other hand even if the arm hurt a little bit but she was trying to make her feel better, Carina was her priority.
Finally Carina locked her eyes with Maya’s and in that moment Maya felt her heart shattered in a million pieces.
“I know…”, Carina started to speak, trying to control the shaky voice that was leaving her lips right now.
“I know that your work means everything to you, i know that but..Maya i feel myself dying every time you leave our door. I tried to bottle up everything cause i know that this is your priority but-…”
When Maya heard those words, quickly shook her head trying to not think about her own tears starting to cover her own eyes.
“No Carina, you are my priority. It’s you. My work was that until i met you and then everything changed. I know that i’m stubborn and competitive and i wanna have my way but i can usure you that there’s no one or anything that i love in this world more than you.”
At this point Carina was trying not to cry but it was really hard so she left sob escaped from her lips shaking her head.
“I’m sorry, i-i’m sorry..”
The blond held her wife in her arms stroking her back, trying to get her to calm down but honestly she could understand her worry and her fears, how could she not? Carina lost everyone, starting with her mother and ending with her brother. They were each other’s family, everything they had left in this world.
Eventually Carina stopped sobbing easing the hug just to see Maya’s face and leaning her forehead against hers.
“Non posso perderti, do you understand that? Non posso.”
(I can’t lose you, do you understand that? I can’t.)
Maya wanted to swear to her that she wasn’t going anywhere but she couldn’t do that cause she knew it wasn’t up to her. The blond leaned forward pressing her lips against Carina’s feeling then her wife’s hands on her cheeks.
She moved her lips slowly against Carina’s, tasting the salt of their tears that were streaming down their faces but at this point it was useless trying to stop them.
Carina parted her lips touching Maya’s with her tongue which Maya immediately welcomed inside her own mouth. It was breathtaking, like every time but this time it was different.
They stopped briefly just to look at each other, with the most loving eyes.
“There’s no other place in the world where i prefer to be, now and always. You are it to me Carina, you are better than the clouds.” Carina cracked a little smile, knowing what that meant but it made her also sad knowing the meaning behind it. She was so glad to have Maya, she was her big treasure.
“You i can’t promise you that i will come back every single time, you know how dangerous my job is. A part of me used to love even that, the risky thrill of it. Now i hate it.”
Maya confessed, hoping that Carina knew that leaving her every single time to go to work was the hardest part of it.
“I never wanna leave you.”
Carina bit her own lip trying to not cry again knowing that she was failing miserably.
“I just wanna keep you safe, always.”
She admitted, watching Maya smiling with a little tiny hint of sadness, cause she knew that it was impossible even if it was nice to hear cause she knew that Carina meant it. She would move heaven and earth for her wife, for her safety, for her happiness, qjust for her.
“You always keep me safe..e ti amo per questo.”
(You always keep me safe and i love you for that.)
Carina loved listening the blonde speaking italian, even if it was small words or small sentence but she was trying and that was more than enough.
“Ti amo anch’io vita mia..can you just try to be more careful next time?”
(I love you too, my life..)
She asked feeling the sadness start to bubbling up one more time but trying to controlling it, she was so tired and crying was making her feeling the worst headache.
“Sì, i promise. I’m sorry..”
Maya moved slowly her thumbs against the skin of her wife’s cheeks biting her own lips with an extremely sorry face.
“It’s okay. You’re home now.”
Maya smiled widely nodding to Carina’s words, nothing was more true than that.
“I’m home.”
She whispered touching slowly Carina’s lips with her own starting to kiss her again. She was kissing again the sadness and the worries, for the both of them. She was remembering to her wife and to herself that they were alive, right now they had the luck to be alive and breathing and in love, together.
The world, in the middle of all that noise and chaos, went silent, it stopped.
Nothing else mattered, just them.