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“Nervous?” Dagon watches his friend’s reactions. It’s literally been thousands of years since his friend has seen his old home. It’s sad to say that nothing really remains, just some ruins of a nearly forgotten civilization.
Enkidu gives a slight nod, “Nervous, excited, scared, sad. I didn’t know I could feel so many emotions all at once,” he whispers.
“It’s not too late to turn back, you know. You don’t have to do this. Just say the word, and we can turn around and go back home.” Enkidu had requested that Dagon accompany him on this trip. He’s glad he did, but he’s very concerned for his friend. This is the worst he’s seen him yet. Enkidu looks like he’s about to shatter into a million pieces. He feels for him. Sumer used to be his home, his world. Dagon himself had actually once been the head of the pantheon at one point. He misses this land and its people who once called it home. But Enkidu lived, loved, laughed, and died here. The clay man isn’t human, but his time here had made him feel like he was.
Enkidu shakes his head, “No. I want to do this. I need to do this while I still remember why this land was so important to me.”
The fish god sighs, “Alright…” Then I will be here for you when you fail to pieces.
Dagon leads the way as they walk through the arid lands. It’s been maybe a thousand years since he last visited the land, but he knows the way, despite any land changes. Eventually, Enkidu takes the lead. He stops at a building, looking up at it.
“I thought you said there was nothing left.” He looks up at the ziggurat with misty eyes.
“I did. The humani must have rebuilt it since I was here last….Do you want to go inside?” He looks at his friend, wishing that there was more he could do for him.
Enkidu takes a deep breath, “Yeah, let’s go.”
Dagon lets Enkidu show him around the rebuilt ziggurat. He’s quick to point out the inaccuracies, but doesn’t dwell on them long, instead focusing on stories of the people of Uruk and his time with Gilgamesh. He even showed Dagon where the markets were. His heart feels heavy. He can tell that this was his favorite place in the city. The way the clay man smiles sadly, reminiscing on the past, makes him want to embrace him, to take that pain away.
“What’s wrong?” Dagon asks gently, noticing the slower pace. He’s nervous, afraid even. He takes the green haired boy’s hand, squeezing it, hoping that the comfort isn’t unwelcomed.
Enkidu looks down at the hand, but doesn’t let go. “There’s…one more place I want to go. It’s…the temple upstairs…”
The temple dedicated to Ishtar. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” She’s the one who basically killed you. What if she tries it again?
Enkidu looks white as a ghost, but nods, “I have Ereshkigal’s protection now. It should be fine. I should be safe.”
You don’t sound very certain. Dagon sighs, “You have my protection as well. I won’t let anything happen to you, I promise.” He hopes that Enkidu knows what he’s doing.
They slowly walk up the stairs to the temple. Dagon’s eyes are fixed on Enkidu. He looks so small as he kneels before the statue. He takes offerings of food out of his backpack, emptying the entire contents, assembling them at the statue’s feet before kneeling once again in a silent prayer to the ancient goddess.
What are you praying for, Enkidu? Forgiveness? Safety? He just hopes that he hasn’t changed his mind and decides he wants to go back to the Underworld. If I were not here, what would you have done? Would you have begged Ishtar or Ereshkigal to take you back? Take you back to see your beloved Gilgamesh? Dagon kneels at his side, taking his hand once more. Enkidu grips it as if his life depended on it. In this moment, Dagon is his lifeline.
The hours pass by in silence before Enkidu stands. “We should go. I shouldn’t stay here longer than necessary. I’ve done what I wanted to do.” Enkidu’s voice is quiet, defeated as he turns to leave. Dagon follows.
****
“You can stay here for the night….is he going to be okay?” An Elder dressed in all white opens a bedroom door.
“Thank you, Aya. Yes…he’ll be alright. He’s in good hands.”
The Elder sighs, “Poor lad. But this is the reality of living among the humani. New empires rise as old ones fall. The same for people. The humani lifespan is so short.” Dagon gives her a look, but she ignores it. “He’s not a humani, the sooner you realize that, Enkidu, the better off you’ll be.” She closes the door behind her.
“Ignore her, she’s just being insensitive.”
Enkidu just collapses on the bed, exhausted. “She’s right though. I am immortal. I’m not like them. I never was. That’s a fact I will have to live with.” He curls up on the bed.
Dagon just realized that there’s only one bed. Guess he’ll be sleeping on the floor. He sets his stuff down and takes a seat on the floor. “Join me,” Enkidu mumbles from the bed. “I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor.”
Dagon gets up, deciding to sit next to his friend. His eyes are red, tears stain his cheeks. He wipes them away, but more follow not long after. “Does it get easier?”
Dagon embraces him, “It does, though there will always be things that remind you of home, things that will make you sad. But you have no choice but to move forward through the pain.”
“Thank you for coming here with me,” his voice is a tired whisper.
“I’ve made my peace with this loss and I promised that I would be here for you through your grief, that’s not going to change.” He brushes stray hairs out of Enkidu’s face as he lays next to him.
“Thank you…” Enkidu leans forward, pressing his lips to Dagon’s in a kiss.
Dagon is surprised, but it’s not unwelcomed. He kisses him back gently. Taking advantage of the surprise, Enkidu slips his tongue into Dagon’s mouth, exploring new spaces. Dagon moans quietly. The long haired boy hums, pleased with himself as he continues kissing him, moving to focus on his neck, then to his chest, trying to find what turns the fish deity on.
“Enkidu…” Dagon sighs, his body feels like it’s on fire. The boy is experienced, his mouth feels amazing against his skin. Dagon’s legs tangle around Enkidu’s waist and he flips them around to be on top.
He finally gets the chance to look into his partner’s eyes. Oh no. He looks like he’s about to fall to pieces. His eyes are hungry, but also desperate. Intense sorrow seems locked behind them.
“Enkidu…” Dagon’s concern for the clay man grows. “You’re not thinking clearly. Are you sure?”
“I just don’t want to think. I’d much rather be fucked senseless and then go to sleep than have to feel this sorrow,” he gasps.
Dagon kisses Enkidu, “And what about the next day? And the day after that? It’s okay to grieve, Enkidu. I’ll be right here to pick up the pieces. I promise I’m not going anywhere.” He kisses him again.
The floodgates finally open and Enkidu finds that he can’t fight the tears anymore. He clings to Dagon as if his life depended on it, shaking as he cries.
Dagon holds the broken man tightly against him, humming an ancient melody. Eventually, his sobs quieten and the shaking stops and Enkidu falls asleep.