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Rui was a simple man, finding joy even in the little things in his life. With being an outcast for most of his middle school days, he learned to focus on the things he enjoyed, instead– things that made him feel a little less lonely. His shows proved to be a good enough distraction, tinkering away at robots till sunrise, then running around for his little performances, going from one location to the next as he got chased by security everywhere he went. It was perfect, and he began to feel at peace with his new way of living- he was happy. Despite repeating that over and over, he realized that he was much the opposite. A weight tugged down at him from his insides, his heart heavy at the realization that he wanted more. Despite keeping himself busy with task after task, he was still so lonely. His shows lacked something- he lacked something.
It made sense when the bright blonde entered his world, introducing himself proudly as a ‘world future star’-- he was so dashing, so sickeningly sweet– oozing with confidence that Rui strived to have. The blonde never left him alone from that day forward, and neither did the colorful troupe Tsukasa birthed– he’d even dare calling them his friends. How peculiar, to form a group of such strange people, so random yet so right. He felt complete with every show they delivered, his troupe members returning to him a smile he never realized he’d missed.
Rain drizzled slowly against the window, Rui’s eyes slowly fluttering open at nature’s melody. Mind still drowsy, he stretched out his limbs in a yawn, body turning in search of the lump of heat he had grown so used to waking up with. Instead, he was greeted with a lack of company, the blonde he had been searching for nowhere to be seen. Rui frowned, raking a hand through his bed head as he slowly heaved each heavy limb from the soft comforts of his bed– or rather, his boyfriend’s.
He lingered at the foot of the bed for a solid minute– maybe more, it was hard to keep track when his mind was still in a daze. The sound of rain thumping thickly against the window and surrounding walls of the home brought a feeling of comfort, each droplet merging together and numbing into white noise. He felt his eyelids fall to a close, relishing in the sound for another moment before heaving himself forward. By now, it was obvious to Rui that Tsukasa was a morning person, he always seemed eager to start the day as soon as he could, immediately motivated to get to work. It amazed Rui just how passionate he was, the shining smile of determination from the other never failing in sending waves of warmth to his cheeks. As he rounded the corner of the hallway, the boy of his thoughts appeared in full view– hair neatly combed and styled, a large tee shirt with large blue text reading “I woke up like this” (Rui thought it rather fitting), and a loose pair of gray sweat pants. He was hunched over on the ground, coffee mug in view, with papers and fabric alike covering the floors in a colorful carpet. It was a wonder he hadn't gotten a single stain on the light sheets, Rui often having that problem when he worked late into the night on his inventions. He quietly made his way behind Tsukasa, crouching down to examine what he was sketching at the moment. It was a short dress, skirt short but puffed out to resemble a tutu. The main color was lime green, but Rui could find small accents of pink down the front, a few bows and strips of different kinds of fabric dotting the chest. Beads of yellow fell down the sides, along with a sheer vale of an unspecified color running down the back and tied in a small bow on each shoulder. The design was very bizarre compared to most of Tsukasa’s designs, and he had a feeling it was to fit a certain pink haired girl’s request. Emu was always very ambitious with her ideas– much like their director, of course– and Tsukasa never uttered the smallest complaint, taking in every thought Emu could squeeze out of her candy-filled brain. Rui snuck a kiss to Tsukasa’ cheek, a wide grin forming almost immediately as the blonde fell backward, eyes wide and gasping almost like a cat. “Eeeh– Rui?!?!” papers crinkled under Tsukasa, his brows turning to a scowl. “Don’t scare me like that!! You could have said something!!”
Rui looked anything but apologetic, his body following Tsukasa’s like a magnet, careful about the designs just below him so he wouldn’t ruin anything. His arms slithered their way around Tsukasa’s waist, his face falling into the crook of the blonde’s neck with an overexaggerated sigh. “But you looked so cute, the way you were so concentrated..”
Tsukasa sighed from above him, a hand finding its way into Rui’s hair to stroke it softly. “So you decided to scare me, instead..” he groaned into Rui’s hair. “You’re going to be the death of me one day.”
Rui chuckled against his neck, leaving a quick peck on the skin as an apology. “I love you too.” he teased, heart swelling as he focused more on the feeling of his boyfriend’s hand in his hair. He savored every moment he had with the star, whether alone or with the troupe, it felt like taking a bite out of an overly sweet slice of cake. Tsukasa hummed, and they soon fell into a comfortable silence. Rui let his eyes flutter shut, forcing all his focus onto the boy in his arms.
The way Tsukasa’s fingers weaved through his hair, the weight of the blonde’s head resting on his own, his chest rising and falling with every breath, and how he so effortlessly fit perfectly in his arms… He committed it all to memory, framing it in the deepest depths of his brain. He smiled, a sly grin reforming on his face as he pulled away just enough to see his boyfriend’s face.
“I can’t believe you left me to wake up all alone.. How cruel..” his voice was still husky with sleep, his speech deepened a few pitches. To the contrary, Tsukasa’s was much the same as it always was, which was no surprise seeing as he had been awake much longer (or– that’s what the mess on the floor implied). “You really are like a child” He squeezed Rui’s cheeks teasingly, leaving a kiss on his nose before continuing. “Would you prefer I wake you early in the morning? Or shall I wait with you in bed till you awake on your own, and leave you to deal with my foul mood?”
Rui pouted his cheeks, frowning as Tsukasa took on a teasing grin of his own. “Fine.. maybe I’d let you wake me up early occasionally, if you desire..” Tsukasa pulled Rui’s waist closer, noses nearly brushing. “Are you sure? We both know you aren’t a morning person.. You’re a mess right now and it’s hardly ten” Tsukasa giggled, sending butterflies straight to the latter’s stomach. Rui pondered for a moment, eyes flickering teasingly to Tsukasa’s lips. “Anything for you, darling.” Tsukasa sighed exasperatedly at the pet name, cheeks dusting pink in seconds. Rui smiled, removing one of his hands from around Tsukasa’s waist to trace along his front, soon stopping to rest a finger under his chin. It didn’t take long for Tsukasa’s own hands to roam to Rui’s cheeks, cupping them softly as they both melted in the shared warmth, faces moving closer on instinct. Their lips met in a soft kiss, Rui’s lips slightly chapped, while Tsukasa’s were as soft and warm as they always were. They kissed slowly, Rui savoring the soft palms of Tsukasa’s hands, thumbs rubbing his cheeks softly as the moment was laced with the sweet taste of Tsukasa’s morning coffee. “I love you” Tsukasa whispered softly as they separated, speaking as if saying it any louder would blow Rui away and wake him as if it were all a dream. Rui reached up to brush Tsukasa’s bangs out of his face, the color reminding him of the warmth from a sunset. “I love you, too” he smiled, unable to resist finishing the statement with a short peck to his lips. “So much.”
He melted into Tsukasa, body feeling reduced to putty as they rested with their foreheads against one another, arms and legs tangled together with no plan to separate. Tsukasa’s coral eyes dripped with affection, Rui having no doubt he wore a similar love struck expression. He couldn’t form any of his feelings into words, nothing he thought of the blonde could be expressed in any string of words at all. Words felt so limiting, his feelings much above them entirely.
Tsukasa’s silhouette was traced with the morning sun, the fluffy edges of his hair glowing a yellow-white. He truly did look like a star at this moment, the warmth radiating from his smile, the traces of pinks and oranges in his iris, and his blonde hair, turning up into curls at the tips like the points of a star. He was always a star in his eyes, never once had he seen anyone who shined brighter than the boy he was lucky enough to have in his arms. It was unimaginable how he had gone by almost every year of his life without having felt the warmth– the touch– no, even seeing the smile of the boy in front of him. Was this how it felt to be completely, utterly, head over heels in love with somebody?
If so, he didn’t want it to end. As intense and sickening as the feelings were, it was addicting. He wanted nothing more than to dive in deeper, to experience every ounce of love the star could offer him and give him no less back. He let his eyelids close, relishing in every bit of affection Tsukasa gave him. His thumbs continued to caress Rui’s cheeks softly, his breath following in a similar rhythm.
“Rui..” Tsukasa spoke quietly, hands drifting down to play with the ends of Rui’s hair. Rui hummed a reply, cracking one eyelid open as Tsukasa hesitated to continue.
“I never want this to end. Moments like this, where it’s just us.” His expression was soft, and he averted his eyes as his blush deepened. Rui adored how his freckles looked among the rose color. “I love waking up with you here, and I love being able to so casually spend my time with you. It’s so odd to yearn for you when you are right in front of me, but that’s often how I feel.” He laced their hands together, Rui letting out a breath as the warmth of his palm left one of his cheeks. “Selfishly, I want to always be with you. I just can’t imagine life without you. You’re so important to me, and I treasure you deeply.” It wasn’t uncommon for Tsukasa to voice his thoughts like this, he and Emu were both very honest people, with both themselves and those around them. But something about this moment, or the way he said it, really struck a cord with Rui. His stomach bubbled as Tsukasa’s words circled his mind, tears unknowingly pricking at his eyes. That was his biggest fear– no matter how many times Tsukasa said he loved him, or how many kisses they shared, he had this deep feeling of dread in his stomach from the fear of it all slipping away. How had Tsukasa not left him yet? After his mistakes on stage, injuring him with a failed stunt for the Halloween show, pushing Tsukasa to do dangerous stunts, his constant eccentric ideas following him even outside of the troupe– why had he stayed? Why would he say things like this, with that look of pure love and affection on his face?
Tsukasa returned his stray hand to Rui’s cheek, brushing the tears away as they dribbled down to his chin. He left sweet kisses along his face, first where the tears trickled down, then his nose, his eyelids, his forehead. Rui willed his voice not to crack, though his efforts failing nonetheless. “Me too.”
Tsukasa left one last kiss on his brow before leaning back contently, hands still resting on Rui’s cheeks. Tsukasa flashed him a cheerful smile, Rui's heart fluttering and his breath hitching. God, he was so hopelessly in love. “Now, let’s get something to eat! I’m sure you’re hungry, my precious director!”
How could Tsukasa say something so deep and special to him, and then move on so casually as if that was the most normal thing to say? Rui would never understand the boy, and that made him love him even more.
Hands intertwined, Rui followed Tsukasa to the kitchen, leaving one last peck on his cheek as Tsukasa rambled on about the ingredients in the fridge.
Tsukasa washed away every bit of uneasiness from his stomach, replacing it only with the gleaming glow of his smile and the warm feeling twisting his insides. He didn’t have to worry over every day or what was to come, and he didn’t have to cling to the loneliness of chasing after his dreams on his own. He was living a dream now that he never knew he had, and he couldn’t wait till he discovered more feelings he had never before felt, with this warmth in his hand, and that same gleaming star guiding his way.
He was truly happy.