Work Text:
TW: SELF HARM
Y’know out of all the people that spoke to Tubbo about his mental health he really didn’t want to be his dad. He knew the day would come eventually but he didn’t know it would be so soon.
His dad walked into his room and shut the door. “We gotta talk..” He said. and he sounded sad. Really fucking sad. and Tubbo felt his heart sink. He had a stupid pencil sharpener blade in his hand and tubbo instantly knew what this conversation would be about. He immediately looked away from his dad. His dad laid down over Tubbo’s legs and began speaking. “So I've heard you’ve been doing some pretty- pretty bad things to yourself” He started. Tears immediately welled in Tubbo’s eyes. “and when I found this,” he said, holding up the blade, “attached to the ipad I was sad” Tubbo felt bad. if he had been smarter like, last month and put it back in his pencil case this would’ve happened. It wouldn’t be happening right there in front of him. “I found it when I was driving Teagan home from school. You can even ask her, I cried. a lot” Tears slipped from Tubbo’s eyes and he felt insanely guilty. It was selfish. what he was doing to himself. It was fucking selfish. “Is school bothering you?” He asked. Tubbo shook his head. “Is it hard?” Tubbo nodded and more tears slipped from his eyes. He felt like sobbing. He was basically failing geography, not to mention he had about 10 missing assignments due in it. and he had a bunch of shit missing in english as well. He failed a good majority of his math tests last semester and the only reason he passed science tests was because he cheated! he couldn’t do basic things in family studies or health and he didn’t like participating in gym! he hated every aspect of french class because his teacher never fucking helped him so he sat clueless the whole fucking class and he had a big drama thing that he has to memorize but could not do it. “are you getting bullied at school?” his dad asked. to which he quickly shook his head. He wasn’t. “okay. if you are, you have to tell us okay?” Tubbo nodded. That was basic knowledge.
“y’know doing this will leave gross scars and i don’t think you want that” they’re pretty Tubbo thought to himself. “it’s dangerous, what you’re doing [REACTED] and i don’t want you to keep doing it”
it’s not about you.
“i don’t like seeing you hurt. and i don’t know what’s going on in your head but you’ll always be my little girl”
I don't want to be.
“even when you’re 50 you’ll still be my little girl” What if I don't want to be your little girl? Tubbo almost said. “And if you like girls, that's okay. I’ve always had a bit of a hunch that you do and that’s okay. you’re still my little girl. no matter what. whether you end up having a girlfriend or a boyfriend you’ll still be my little girl” Tubbo didn’t respond. He stared down at his hands and picked at his blanket.
“I do want you to stop doing this though because it honestly makes me very sad to know you’re in pain”
it doesn’t hurt though.
Tubbo wanted his conversation to end and he wanted it to end now because he was on the verge of completely breaking down.
(i don’t remember the rest of the conversation so boom it’s over)
Tubbo’s dad left. Tubbo closed the door and slid down it, with his back up against it and sobbed into his arms. and at the end of that whole conversation. he wanted to cut. because he’s selfish. he’s so fucking selfish for wanting to hurt himself over a conversation with his dad. someone who he should be able to go to and talk to things about but he can’t. Because he can’t express himself, so he cuts himself.
He is selfish.