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“Rem? What’re you-“
“Sirius!”
A seventeen year-old Remus Lupin had just barged through the doors of James Potter’s family restaurant where Sirius was working the night shift. He was the only host on call that night but it was pretty much dead. Remus had tears streaming down his face, splotchy cheeks, and a dark purple bruise forming on his eye. Sirius didn’t have a second to react to his boyfriend (secret fiancé) before he was pulled into a desperate hug. He hugged Remus tightly back, still confused but realizing that something was wrong.
“Moony are you okay?”
Remus was silent and choking on his own sobs. Sirius buried his face into Remus’ neck to try and provide some comfort. He made soothing noises with his teeth and tongue as he rubbed Remus’ back. After Remus finally pulled away, Sirius quietly led them to the back of the restaurant, to Monty’s office.
“Remus-“
“I can’t stay long but… fuck Sirius I don’t know how to say this.”
Sirius stomach sunk and he immediately felt sick, “You can tell me anything, love,” he took Remus’ hand in his and he watched as Remus’ eyes swelled at the image of their matching rings holding each other.
“My… fucking Lyall,” another chocked sob, but Sirius continued to hold his hand, not wanting to interrupt or rush his boyfriend, “Lyall hit my mum and when I tried to… get her safe he pushed me and… my mums packing our things-“ another chocked sob as Sirius let the words sink in.
“Remus, baby, I’m so sorry,” he said as he brought Remus’ hand to his mouth, giving it a gentle kiss, then holding it to his cheek and nuzzling it.
“Sirius…I can’t- I think that we’re leaving. For good, I mean.”
“That’s good, though, right? I mean, I know he’s still your dad but Lyall’s taken it too far this time-“
“I think we’re leaving Whitby. I think my mum is taking us really far from here.”
It was silent. Sirius was waiting. Waiting for the joke, waiting for when James, Lily, or Peter would walk in laughing at what a good prank they just pulled. Waiting for Hope Lupin to come in and say “nevermind!”. Waiting for anything. Waiting as he stared blankly into Remus’ eyes, seeing that he was speaking from his soul. This wasn’t a joke or a prank or a choice that would be taken back. It was his future, their future, being ripped from his grasp.
“But- I don’t- where are you going?”
Remus let out another cry, “I don’t even know! That’s the best part. My mum has no idea where we’re going, she just said it would be as far away from here as possible…”
“Remus…” he said it like a plead. That seemed to be the wrong move, because now Remus was squeezing his eyes shut, tears that were pooling being released like a herd.
“I don’t want to leave you. I don’t want to go.”
Sirius had no words. It was all so…sudden. Unexpected. They were fucking engaged to be married for fucks sake.
“She can’t just take you! Remus please. Please stay! You can stay with the Potters and when we turn eighteen we’ll get a flat and we’ll finally get married and then-“
“I can’t leave her, Sirius. She’ll have no one…” it was a whisper.
“Rem if you leave…I’ll have no one.”
Remus finally looked into Sirius’ eyes, and Sirius felt like throwing up. So he did, in the trash can next to the desk. Remus rubbed soothing circles as Sirius went from dry-heaving to actually vomiting.
After a couple minutes, Sirius finally had emptied his stomach, but he didn’t feel any better.
Remus looked at the clock above the desk, “Love, I have to go.” Another sad whisper, like it physically pained him to say.
“Remus- don’t! I don’t understand please don’t leave! When will I see you? Are we gonna stay together?”
Remus averted his eyes, “I don’t know.”
Sirius was sobbing now, “Are you breaking up with me?”
“I don’t have a choice, Pads.”
“Don’t call me that. Not now. You can stay here with me.”
“I can’t.”
“Remus. I’m just so confused this is so sudden. Are we breaking up?”
“I wouldn’t ever ask you to waste your time waiting for me.”
“But I will! I love you! I’ll never be with anyone else, I’ll wait for you for years and I won’t care-“
“That would kill me, Sirius. Don’t waste your life waiting for me. I’ll send you a letter as soon as I land so we can keep in touch, okay?”
Sirius was shaking his head, closing his eyes trying to prevent whatever was about to happen next from happening.
“Okay, Sirius?”
Sirius kept shaking his head, and his eyes glued shut. He was frozen and couldn’t stand to look at Remus in fear of crumbling.
Remus encircled his arms around him, laying his cheek on top of his head. Sirius didn’t have the strength to hug him back, so he let himself be cared for.
When Remus let him go after three entire minutes, his voice was hoarse from overuse, “Sirius. Please look at me. I need to see you.”
Sirius is a coward, and always will regret the fact that he stubbornly shook his head again, not being able to force himself to look at Remus.
He heard Remus sniffle loudly, “I love you, Padfoot.”
And then Sirius heard the office door close.
And then Monty Potter found him there three hours later, having never moved.
And he had never received a letter.