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Choi Soobin is not especially scary.
Not at all, really, and on a good day, San is self-aware enough to realize that. But not all days are good days. Sometimes Soobin is all tall and pretty and serious and San feels like he’s back in kindergarten, sneaking glances at the pretty boy he wasn’t old enough to call a crush yet. He doesn’t remember the boy’s name now, but he figures Soobin is prettier anyway.
They don’t have too many opportunities to hang out but San would like to think they’re relatively close. And anyway, they have so many friends in common that San feels like Soobin is always in the air around him, somehow.
It’s both a blessing and a curse.
“You have a cruuush,” Wooyoung drawls the second time he catches San watching TXT fancams at three in the morning. When San takes too long to reply, Wooyoung almost slaps the phone out of his hands. “Wait, you do? Who? Want me to get Yeonjun on it? Wait, is it Yeonjun?”
“No,” San hisses before he has time to think about it.
He wishes he did think about it. There was a chance, a small one, but a chance nonetheless, to convince Wooyoung he’s talking nonsense. Now, though. Now Wooyoung is looking at him like San is the latest episode of his favorite reality show.
He is the latest episode of Wooyoung’s favorite reality show, San realizes with a sinking sense of dread.
“So babies then?” Wooyoung asks, voice thoughtful. “Beomgyu? He seems a lot like me, so it would make sense.” San must make a face at that because Wooyoung elbows him in the ribs. “Not Beomgyu then,” he continues, as if San hasn’t doubled over in (mostly fake) pain. “Mm, that leaves two, right? Kai? He seems like a nice kid. I feel like you’re a little similar in some aspects but not too bad overall. Taehyun?”
Wooyoung is fishing. San knows this, and yet, the fact that the right answer doesn’t even cross Wooyoung’s mind grates on his nerves. Maybe a little on his anxieties, too.
“What’s wrong with Soobin?” he asks. It’s very hard to keep the defensiveness out of his voice but San likes to think he manages well.
By the face Wooyoung is making, he can safely deduce that was not the case.
"Please, god, no," Wooyoung wails, a little too loud for San's comfort. "That would be like... like watching a car crash. But in really fucking slow motion. And by the time you collide it would be so gentle the hoods of your cars would start apologizing to each other."
San blinks at him. "Thanks?"
"No," Wooyoung sniffs. "But whatever. I guess we can work with that. You're friends, right? Why don't you drop some hints, make a move? Do you want me to involve Yeonjun?"
"Absolutely not," San almost-yells. "I could involve Yeonjun myself if I wanted to. And we're friends, I can't just start waxing poetic on how cute Soobin is all of a sudden."
Wooyoung raises an eyebrow. "To Yeonjun or to Soobin?"
"Both," San mumbles. He wants to be more annoyed but his mind is already running away from him, crafting up useless confessions on how pretty Soobin is (to Yeonjun) and how San kind of wants to poke his dimple (to Soobin).
It's a bit of a disaster. At least San is about ninety percent sure Wooyoung won't actually go babbling to Yeonjun. Hopefully. For now.
*
The rumor doesn't hit any major news sites but the forums are overflowing and San cannot stop reading. Most comments are amused, little to no people taking it seriously, and he knows he shouldn't either but—
But.
Seonghwa has a shirt halfway down one shoulder when San barges into his room.
"Are you dating Choi Soobin?"
Seonghwa drops the shirt the wrong way. "Am I... what?"
Faced with Seonghwa's bare torso and his ruffled, product-free hair that looks kind of endearing even though it's a mess—a small, self-deprecating part of San couldn't blame Soobin if they were dating.
"Choi Soobin," he repeats. "Are you dating him? You posted the exact same thing at the exact same time. More or less."
"Oh no," Seonghwa's eyes go wide in horror, shirt forgotten in favor of diving for his phone. "We did? Is it a scandal? Oh god, we're absolutely not dating, I barely know the guy! Do you think management will have to get involved? Oh god," Seonghwa repeats, now frantically scrolling through his phone. "It's that bad? How was I supposed to know! I just wanted to be cute! Do you think they'll make me issue an apology?"
About two thirds into Seonghwa's increasingly hysteric rambling, San starts to feel bad. Guilty.
"I don't think it's that bad?" He offers. "It's mostly in forums, and kind of joke-y. At most they'll make you steer away from TXT for a bit but we're not exactly joined at the hip, so."
Seonghwa barely hears him. He's already texting their manager, profusely apologizing if his almost-violent typing is anything to go by. San's guilt settles a bit more, and he slips out of the room before Seonghwa works himself into a real panic. He should probably get Hongjoong. Or Yunho. Someone who can force some sense into Seonghwa, hopefully without tracing it back to San.
*
"I'm definitely getting Yeonjun involved," Wooyoung says without preamble, the next time he catches San looping the No Rules dance practice. "Don't even try, I've already texted him."
“There’s nothing to get him involved in,” San insists. He’s paused the video on Soobin, though, and Wooyoung gives him A Look.
“You drove Seonghwa to panic over a dating rumor that wasn’t even really a rumor,” Wooyoung counts off one hand. He stares pointedly at San’s phone when the second finger goes down. “This cannot go on.”
“Watch me,” San grumbles.
It can and will go on. It has been over a week since the Seonghwa incident and very soon, comeback promotion will hit in full force. San has slept maybe three hours in the past twenty-four and already feels like he’s been awake for a week straight. Soobin is absolutely adorable, and San wants to squish his cheeks, and maybe trace his doll lips with his teeth. It makes for a great treat during San’s rare minutes of free time and there’s no point in fixing something that isn’t broken.
Wooyoung stares at him, expression caught somewhere between amazement and disgust. “You realize you said that out loud, right?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” San says, although his face feels about ten times warmer than it was five seconds ago.
“God,” Wooyoung sighs. “I sincerely hope Yeonjun has it easier.”
*
The text from Yeonjun comes a little after three in the morning but San finished practice about half an hour ago, so he doesn't judge.
so, Yeonjun says, the typing notice appearing right after, what are your intentions with Soobin?
San curses Wooyoung in his mind.
none
Yeonjun's response comes almost at the same time, as if he expected the answer.
wrong
try again
It's so much worse than admitting his crush to Wooyoung. It's one thing to share your inconvenient crush with a friend, and a whole other to admit it to the crush's friend.
Granted, San and Soobin are friends, too. Definitely more than Soobin and Mingi, for example, but far from as close as Wooyoung and Yeonjun. Soobin sometimes sends San pictures of random cute animals or Odi, and San coos appropriately each time. It’s easy and fun when they run into each other backstage during schedules but San is fairly sure they would both just freeze up if left alone.
His reasoning would be Soobin’s big, adorable smile but no one has to know that.
waiting, Yeonjun sends.
Well. Almost no one has to know that?
San carefully considers his answer before he starts typing.
i wanna be friends?
closer friends i guess
Yeonjun's typing icon shows up, stops, shows up again.
is that what the kids call it these days?
I'M OLDER THAN YOU
The uppercase is desperately needed, San decides. Yeonjun might be only a few months younger but San is in his right to demand some respect.
doesn't seem like it, Yeonjun types next.
Whatever. San hadn’t realized he had hopes for Yeonjun’s involvement until Yeonjun crushed them.
*
for real though, if you break his heart i’ll find you.
San laughs to himself in the bathroom mirror. He’d fallen asleep before Yeonjun’s last message and it’s not too bad of a shovel talk as far as shovel talks go. But it’s cute. San could probably flatten the entirety of TXT within a few minutes but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that Yeonjun isn’t opposed to the idea of San potentially, maybe trying to date Soobin, which means Soobin might not be either. San doesn’t think he would actually try to date Soobin but it’s a nice thought. Comforting.
i would certainly hope so, he texts Yeonjun back in his room.
It’s another day full of pre-recordings and practice and overall hell on San’s meager two and a half hours of sleep. Still, he feels lighter than he did yesterday. Today is already off to a better start than yesterday was.
*
They have the evening off. Their manager announces it like it’s a rare gift, which it might as well be, given that their comeback is in exactly three days. San doesn’t have the excess energy to appreciate it properly, even if his mind is already crashing face-first into a pillow.
“Nope,” Wooyoung grins as soon as San is out of the shower and ready to make his dreams reality. “We’re actually going out. It’s not gonna be any easier once live promotions start and I need some fun time.”
What San needs is a nap. Multiple naps, in fact. But Wooyoung is brimming with excitement, still smiling, and San has always been a softie.
“Fine. But promise we won’t stay out too late, I think I might actually pass out.”
Wooyoung laughs, throwing one of San’s fancier shirts at him. “Only dinner out, promise. I’m sure you’ll find your strength once we’re out.”
San isn’t, and doesn’t put up a fight when Wooyoung deems him getting ready fast enough or good enough and takes over.
*
In hindsight, San should have expected it.
Maybe not today, but at some point, at least. The hostess leads them to a nice, secluded room in the restaurant and Choi Soobin is already sitting at the table, eyes going comically wide when his eyes zero in on San, then Wooyoung.
He glances back at San almost immediately, though, and San has to fight the pleased smile trying to make its way on his face.
“You sit here,” Wooyoung says, pushing at San’s shoulders on one end of the table.
“And you move over there,” Yeonjun echoes, accompanied by wide, shooing motions which make Soobin blush.
But he does as he’s told, and within a few very short moments, San is sitting right across from Soobin, unable to stop staring. Soobin won’t meet his eyes, though, so things even out.
They exchange a few pleasantries while the waitress takes San’s and Wooyoung’s orders. As soon as she’s out, the room plunges into silence.
“God, please,” Yeonjun groans from the other end of the table. “This is painful to watch. Talk.”
“I swear he’s not that bad usually,” Wooyoung sighs. It’s aimed half at Yeonjun and half at Soobin, which means Wooyoung’s eyes jump between the two of them like a cartoonish ping pong match. He does not look at San.
“I think we both need new best friends,” San says conspiratorially, definitely loud enough for the other two to hear. He leans forward, hand cupped around his mouth for the theatrics.
Apparently Soobin had the same idea. Their foreheads knock together, and it takes San a second too long to realize what’s happening. By the time they jump apart, the waitress is at the door to their little room with a tray of food. Given her stricken expression, it looks like she witnessed the whole thing.
Great.
The silence is painfully, unbearably awkward as she sets Yeonjun’s and Soobin’s food down. Wooyoung, of course, is perfectly at ease giving his own order, but San rattles off the first thing he sees on the menu without even processing the words.
As soon as the waitress closes the sliding door, Wooyoung turns to San with a mildly concerning smile.
“Did you mean to order the only fully vegetarian dish on the menu?”
Scratch that. Very concerning smile.
San grabs the menu again. His eyes immediately go to the small font, a tiny, accusatory Suitable for vegetarian diet staring back at him.
The waitress is long gone. San accepts his fate with what he hopes is a calm expression. He can sit through some unpleasant food for the greater good. The greater good being his dignity and—
“We can share,” Soobin offers, already arranging his plates in the middle of the table. “I’m probably not going to eat all of that anyway.”
Yeonjun chokes very suddenly, very loudly and very suspiciously sounding like the word liar.
Neither San, nor Soobin pay him any mind.
*
San, Seonghwa and Wooyoung are all staying behind for their first MuBank interview and San spends the entirety of his time at the makeup chair sulking.
"Stop looking like someone took your favorite candy," Yeosang says as San joins him on the tiny couch in their dressing room.
"Someone did take my favorite candy," he grumbles. He jabs an accusing finger in Yeosang's ribs. "You did."
Yeosang gives him a very deadpan look. "Please keep your love life problems away from me."
San just knows this is going to come back and bite him in the ass at some point. Yeosang may love to pretend he's the bigger person but his craving for gossip rivals that of Wooyoung. It always comes back to you in the most inconvenient moments.
So San chooses to ignore him and turns to Wooyoung instead. "Do you think we're forbidden from the backstage interview because we went out that one time?"
"You're dying to make this my fault, aren't you," Wooyoung laughs. "Still not sorry about it. Also, what about Seonghwa-hyung, then? He wasn't with us."
"He had that dating scandal with Soobin," San shrugs.
"That was not a dating scandal," Seonghwa grits from his chair, then immediately apologizes once the makeup artist glares at him. He catches San's eyes in the mirror. "It wasn't, right? It was just a joke in the forums. Right?"
"Look what you did," Wooyoung sighs. "Again."
Yeosang laughs, a tiny, evil thing. "I'll make sure to tell Soobin you said hi."
San's eyes go wide. "No, you will absolutely not—"
But Yeosang is off the couch already, mumbling something about getting ready and slipping out of the dressing room before San can apply further preventive measures.
Great.
*
I missed you at the interview today :(
San stares at his phone for a disproportionately long string of seconds. So much so that Soobin follows it up with another message.
I watched your stage though, you're so cool!!! All your group but you especially, I can definitely see why everyone keeps praising you
His face is on fire. San has seen the comments, he's aware of the effect he has on people but being praised by real people he knows instead of faceless strangers on the internet is such a different experience.
Especially when the people are friends. And also people you might or might not have a soft spot for.
He types out a response before he psychs himself out of it.
thank you!! hopefully we’ll see each other next week :) can’t wait
The can’t wait is a bit of a regret but San clicked send almost immediately for this exact reason, so he forces himself not to overthink it. That, or the message he sends right after. He blames it on the exhaustion.
you’re cute :)
What’s with the smiley faces, Choi San? San tries to focus on the reasons why his inner judgy voice sounds like Wooyoung instead of panic when a minute passes, then another, then ten more. The check mark that Soobin saw the message had appeared almost instantly but there is no reply, not even an emoji.
San is already planning elaborate ways to beg off any backstage schedules for next week’s MuBank when a notification drops over his screen. Not Soobin.
am i right to assume you’re to blame for soobin screaming into our couch cushions right now?
It seems San’s usefulness factor has depleted with the Soobin situation, because the only reply he provides Yeonjun with is a blushing emoji.
He has to physically get away from his phone, leaving it to charge in the furthest socket possible. There is no doubt that if left unattended, San will stare at his chat with Soobin until his eyes fall off or it’s time for practice again. Whichever comes sooner.
*
Between recordings, practice and simply trying to stay alive through promotions, San doesn’t have a lot of time to dwell on his love life. If you could even call it that. The days blur into each other. The only passage of time San's sleep-deprived brain registers is the sequence of music show recordings. Inkigayo airs on Sunday, so there is a chance they can have a relatively decent night's sleep. Recordings, more recordings, then Show Champion on Wednesday and before San realizes, definitely before he has time to process it, it's time for Music Bank again. When they give them the news of being nominated, the joy and relief of all their hard work being recognized takes over San's brain.
Then their manager whips out three copies of a script and announces that San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa will be the only ones attending the backstage interview.
The mere fact of Soobin's existence hits San like a freight train, made worse by the fact that they're nominated. A small, caveman part of him preens knowing that Soobin will interview him as a nominee. Someone successful. For a moment, San wonders what it would feel like if Soobin presented the reward to them, too. The chances of that happening are very slim but the thoughts are there nonetheless. San is giddy as he follows Seonghwa and Wooyoung out of their dressing room and towards the interview corner.
It’s slightly disappointing that he missed the black suit Soobin had the previous week. As soon as they get to the interview corner, though, San decides he’s developed an appreciation for cardigans.
He tells Soobin as much, hoping it comes off as casual. Wooyoung points out it’s like they’ve switched aesthetics, and San has to fight the spike of annoyance for the last interview once again.
Soobin is laughing and like that, it’s easy to slip into the mindset of making him laugh more.
Maybe it’s a good thing San got to miss the last interview. He can have Soobin all to himself now.
*
San watches the interview video five times in a row before he can focus on anything other than Soobin smiling. He doesn’t actually remember what they talked about but that doesn’t take from the effect Soobin’s smile has on him, even through the screen. And the hug.
It’s a little embarrassing but so has been the entire ordeal, so San finds it quite easy to side-step the whole mess in the privacy of his bed. Unlike Wooyoung, Yunho is rarely a nosy bastard, which means that San can get away with a lot if he only pretends what he’s getting away with doesn’t exist.
Which, of course, means it’s the perfect setting for Yunho to take the nosy bastard road, too.
“Rumor has it you have a crush,” he says as he invites himself on San’s bed, staring pointedly at the interview video still playing on San’s phone.
“Rumor is wrong,” San denies, although it sounds unbelievable even to his own ears. “Tell your rumor provider to go fuck himself.”
“I’m sure he’ll have something to say about that,” Yunho laughs. “It’s cute, though. Him, and your starry eyes when you look at him.”
San is torn between feeling offended and just—
He's blushing, isn't he. He must be, given the smug little smile spreading on Yunho's face.
"Go away," San grumbles. He presses play on the video once again.
"I mean," Yunho continues, because no one in this goddamn household listens. "You got Seonghwa into a near-panic because of a made-up rumor, I'm not sure how you expected to remain lowkey even without all," he gestures to San's phone, "that."
That San has nothing to say to.
Yunho laughs again but San is willing to let it go because he goes back to his own bed, finally. Like clockwork, a notification drops over San's precious video.
It's from Yeonjun and it's a photo. San is only mildly concerned as he opens it.
It's Soobin. San isn't quite sure how he knows it's Soobin because all that's visible is his back, clad in a soft-looking hoodie. At least San thinks it looks soft. It might just be Soobin. The shot is taken over Soobin's shoulder, aimed at his phone open on the very same video San was watching only seconds ago. It makes something warm bloom in San's chest, even if the dispatch-worth photo makes him a bit uneasy.
The second message from Yeonjun registers many minutes later.
please kiss and end my suffering already
Another one follows not too long after.
please. soobin won't listen to me but you will, right? you're the hyung, p l e a s e
San doesn't deign the messages with a response but his brain is whirring already. He feels like a cartoon character, smoke rising from the hard work of trying to come up with a way to... do something. It would be okay if he did something, right? If things go south he can always change his name and move to the countryside again. Farm animals are cute.
Soobin would look good in a farmer's hat, San thinks as sleep finally catches up to him.
*
Soobin is really cute.
Frankly, San is impressed at how impassive he's managed to look for that part. The makeup certainly helped but the San staring back at him from the phone screen is calm and unbothered, a far cry from the raging moths he remembers causing havoc in his stomach. They still are, hours after the camera clicked shut and San's thinly veiled confession is immortalized by the power of the Internet.
Soobin doesn't acknowledge the vlive but sends a grand total of twenty-three Odi photos over the course of the next two days. Distantly, San wonders if it's code for something.
The Odi pictures trickle to a stop by Wednesday. San blames schedules and the upcoming Music Bank episode. He’s excited for it, a little shaky even though he’d never admit it out loud. It will be The Moment, San is sure of it. It can’t be that hard to whisk Soobin away and tell him in person just how cute he is, right?
Wrong.
“Why are you awake,” Yunho grumbles when San’s alarm blares at the ungodly hour of four in the morning. They went to bed only a few hours ago but San feels energized, much more than the last time he had a full night’s sleep.
San glares at him. “Getting ready, obviously. Aren’t you?”
To his credit, Yunho seems to make an attempt to actually wake up. “No? We only have some promo thing in the afternoon.” He fumbles around for his phone, then squints at the numbers. “We don’t have to be awake for at least two more hours.”
“But…” San starts, then falters. Right. No music show today, they’re done with that. “Right.” He turns so Yunho won’t question the disappointment radiating off him.
Yunho is usually one of the more perceptive members of the group but San hopes the sleep deprivation will dull some of his instincts. He shuffles back to bed, makes sure he isn’t facing Yunho at any point. It’s oddly quiet, given that they had a conversation mere seconds ago. Or tried to, anyway. San chances a glance in Yunho’s direction from the comfort of his bed and finds Yunho staring right back at him.
“We are talking about this in the morning,” Yunho states, very seriously.
San turns his back on him and hopes the two extra hours of sleep bring back whatever brain activity this stupid crush has sucked out of him.
*
Of course, with his luck Soobin goes live when San is, for once, away from his phone. He has successfully managed to side-step the entire ordeal for over a week now, by changing the topic or simply leaving the room whenever someone tries to bring it up. Especially his failed alarm on Thursday. Soobin kept the steady stream of Odi pictures, though, so that has to count for something.
San misses the actual vlive but his burner account is already full of clips, so it kind of evens out.
He would be a huge liar if he said the praise didn't set his insides on fire. It doesn't stop him from saying just that when Wooyoung asks, of course.
"Am I really expected to believe that Soobin blabbering about how good you are didn't affect you at all?"
"Yes," San says, voice impassive.
Wooyoung sees right through him. "And if I unlock your phone right now I won't see any clips of Soobin saying just that?"
"Yes," San repeats.
It's true, too, mainly because San was in the middle of watching the full vlive. He hasn't gotten to that part yet. Wooyoung doesn't have to know that.
Wooyoung narrows his eyes. "I hope you know I'm telling Yeonjun that. Didn't he give you the shovel talk or something? For someone who confessed live a week ago and spent the subsequent days moping around because Soobin wouldn’t kiss you, you sure have some nerve."
"Nearly two weeks ago,” San corrects. He doesn’t deign the rest of that with a response. Maybe if he keeps to short answers Wooyoung would get off his case sooner.
"Have fun explaining that to Yeonjun, then," Wooyoung huffs eventually.
San knows it's not an empty threat but whatever. He can deal with whatever these two decide to bully him with later. At the end of the day, he feels he deserves some slack. Soobin never mentioned San’s confession to San. So why should San do it with Soobin’s?
*
Another full day passes before Wooyoung shows up at San’s door, already dressed.
“This is an intervention,” he announces. “Get dressed, I’m gonna go see Yeonjun and you’re coming with me. We might conveniently take the rest of their children out for dinner. You and Soobin will not be invited.”
“Rude,” San says. He doesn’t look up from his phone in the hopes of hiding the excitement that’s probably already taking over his face. “If you take out the free food, what’s my incentive to come?”
Wooyoung stares at him, deadpan. “A boyfriend. And your best friend’s inner peace. And his best friend’s inner peace. Also, if you refuse I am not above bribing Yunho to just carry you over there.”
San narrows his eyes at him. “You do realize I can literally drop-kick both of you, right?”
“I also know,” Wooyoung waves a dismissive hand, “that you’re not going to. Because you do want that boyfriend. Please get dressed now, Yeonjun is waiting for us.”
As much as San hates to admit it, Wooyoung is right. San wouldn’t actually drop-kick either of them.
The rest is up to interpretation, but San is willing to push it aside in favor of raiding his closet for something nice. They’re seeing people, after all.
*
They don’t even pretend to be inconspicuous. Yeonjun meets San and Wooyoung at the door, Taehyun, Kai and Beomgyu at his heels. San gets a grand total of four pairs of death glares, and tries to suppress a shiver. It makes one wonder, would any of his own groupmates be so protective? Hongjoong and Jongho come to mind, but for the life of him, San can’t imagine any of the others as the If You Hurt Him friend. Then again, it was just Yeonjun who gave San the actual shovel talk, so maybe it’s not all that different.
At the still open door, Yeonjun hangs back and jabs a finger in San’s chest. “Soobin better not be single by the time we come back or I swear to god, I will strangle both of you.”
“Starting with me?” San laughs, glancing down at Yeonjun’s hand.
“Obviously,” Yeonjun grins. He drops the hand, smile going soft at the edges. “I’d really prefer not to do that, though.”
It’s a shared sentiment, so San smiles back. He would’ve also preferred not to have the Conversation with Soobin like this but is what it is.
*
San looks around once the front door closes behind him. It’s a small hallway but a hallway nonetheless, and he has no idea where he’s actually supposed to go. A small eternity later, Soobin’s head pokes out from a door to the left, so San hurries to follow him.
Once in the room, Soobin gestures towards a hastily made bed. San takes the very corner, trying and failing not to glance around curiously. There's Odi's cage, Odi himself curled up in one corner of it. There's a chair a few steps to it, stacked high with hoodies. A stray sock pokes out of the corner of the wardrobe across the bed.
It's cute and San has to suppress the urge to smile multiple times. Or maybe he doesn't have to suppress it? When he looks back at Soobin, Soobin immediately averts his eyes.
San doesn't try to stop his smile this time.
"So your mom watches my vlives, huh?"
"Oh god," Soobin blurts, burying his face in his hands. He peeks between his fingers. "Would it be weird if I told you I told her about you and she got curious? Not..." he adds, hands dropping into his lap with a grimace. "Not about you. I just told her I like you?"
In all honesty, San should've probably worried about that more than he did.
He does, however, focus on the second part of that sentence. "You like me?"
Soobin blinks at him. "I thought this was obvious? Yeonjun made all those comments so I thought... Oh god."
He's blushing, hard. San decides then and there that he should do everything in his power to make Choi Soobin blush more.
"It was kind of obvious," San says, even though Wooyoung would have laughed in his face if he heard that. "It's okay, though. I wouldn't be here now otherwise, would I?"
It's easy to slip into a more confident persona when Soobin is in front of San, flustered just as much as he is. Watching Soobin up close feels like setting off sparklers within San's ribcage but it's a nice feeling, somehow.
"So what now?" Soobin mumbles eventually.
It's only then San realizes they've been kind of just—staring at each other. Soobin's dopey, slightly embarrassed smile is probably mirrored on San's face. So much for taking the lead, he thinks. He kind of understands Yeonjun and Wooyoung now.
"I woke up at four last Thursday because I was so excited about meeting you that I forgot we're not performing that day," San blurts.
It's a blow to his already fragile confidence but the solid ten seconds of laughter Soobin rewards him with are totally worth it. Soobin reaches for his phone, unlocks it, then pushes it in San's face.
It's a photo of San. It's a screencap from San's fancam at their last Music Bank performance. Whoever took it was very careful not to catch San with a weird expression. From experience, San knows it's not an easy accomplishment.
"Yeonjun changed my wallpaper when I wasn't looking," Soobin admits. Before the disappointment fully settles in, he adds, "I took the screencap, though. I just thought you looked so cool there. Still do."
San glances at the phone, then at Soobin. At the phone again.
Soobin is still blushing but he looks so much calmer now. San can't look away, although, admittedly, he's not trying very hard.
San sucks in a breath. "Can I kiss you?"
“Please,” Soobin breathes, then clamps his mouth shut almost immediately.
He’s adorable, and as San leans in, he decides he never stood a chance.
*
“So where is my gift basket?” Yeonjun demands over the phone a few days later. “I helped you get together and now I’m listening to Soobin babble about you constantly, I deserve a reward.”
“Get over yourself, Choi Yeonjun,” Wooyoung calls over San’s shoulder. “I helped, too, and we all have to listen to San babble. You’re not special.”
“You two do kind of deserve a reward, I think,” San says sweetly, into the receiver but looking at Wooyoung. “You helped me meet the cutest—”
“You know what,” Yeonjun interrupts, extremely fake crackling noises flitting through the connection. “I think I’m losing coverage or something. Good luck, Wooyoung!”
The line clicks shut and San grins at his phone.
Then at Wooyoung. “So do you wanna see that photo Soobin sent me?”
“Absolutely not,” Wooyoung says, although he’s already reaching for the phone. He sighs, zooming into Soobin’s latest selfie, his face half-hidden behind a finger heart. “God, you make me feel single.”
San preens, warmth spreading along his insides already. His phone pings with another notification as Wooyoung hands it back, this time with a picture of Odi, although there is still a heart in the corner.
Maybe Wooyoung and Yeonjun deserve that reward after all.