Work Text:
“You could join me,” Nathaniel says quietly, almost soft, and it shatters the tense silence like a bullet to glass.
“…What?” Nicholas whispers, hushed and disbelieving and small.
“You could join me,” Nathaniel repeats, a little sharper, but also—was that—was that a note of pleading? Was he… was he really…?
“We can be brothers again,” he says. “I could forgive you.”
And his voice is low but it almost cracks on that word and Nicholas hates that he can’t tell if it’s real anymore.
“…if you don’t abandon me now,” Nathaniel says, and he holds out a hand. “Please, Nicholas.”
Nicholas shudders and staves off the dizziness. He hasn’t heard his brother say his name in over thirty years.
He’s manipulating Nicholas, of course he is. He always does.
But—but his hand is shaking. Just a little bit. The smallest amount, barely noticeable, but it’s all Nicholas can think about.
A long moment passes in silence as Nicholas looks down at his brother’s outstretched hand with wide hurt eyes, because he wants to take it.
But he can’t, he won’t—because he misses his brother so much, and he wants… he wants that forgiveness so badly, but… he just can’t.
(He doesn’t deserve forgiveness. And he can’t give it, either—not now.)
He takes a faltering step back. “I can’t,” he says, and his voice wavers. “I can’t. I’m sorry.”
“Can’t or won’t?” Nathaniel says, stepping closer, but he sounds less angry and more… that tone, part cajoling and part pleading and part demanding, that tone he used when he wanted something.
“You could spend time with your nephew,” Nathaniel continues, voice so soft. “I’m sure SQ would love to meet you.”
Nicholas’s heart cracks a little. “I would love to spend time with him,” he says, “But—not like this.”
“Is it your friend in yellow you’re worried about?” Nathaniel asks. “I can’t release her, but I can—arrange things. She needn’t be wiped, if you’re on my side.”
Nicholas wants to flinch, wants to shout at him or cry, but he can only stare in mute horror, despair.
“I can’t,” he repeats. “I love you, Nathaniel, but what you’re doing—it’s wrong. It’s wrong, and you’re—you’re hurting children, you’re hurting my friends, you’re hurting the world, I—I can’t.”
Nathaniel’s face hardens and he snatches his hand back like it had never been there.
“I shouldn’t have expected anything else,” he says coldly, beginning to turn away. “From you of all people. It’s not as if family has meant anything to you before.”
“Nathaniel,” Nicholas says, protesting, voice breaking, and Nathaniel whirls around to face him again.
“Dr. Curtain,” he hisses. “You don’t have a right to call me that name.”
Nicholas’s shoulders slump, and for once, he has no words.
“That was a one-time offer,” his brother says coldly. “And it’s off the table now. I’ll see you in the morning for… well. You’ll see.”
He turns on his heel and walks to the door and opens it.
He pauses just before stepping through, then throwing a glance over his shoulder, gives him the lightest of smirks.
“You’ll wish you’d taken it,” he says. And then he’s gone.
He’s gone again, and Nicholas is alone.
He sinks to the floor, feeling dizzy, heart aching. He slumps over a little, shoulders hunched, and his throat hurts with the effort it takes not to cry.
Number Two is somewhere nearby, he knows, but he doesn’t know where. Milligan and Rhonda are no doubt looking for them, in danger, too, and the children… oh, the children, brilliant as they are, are no doubt on their tails, if not with them.
And SQ, poor SQ—Nicholas has no idea what he looks like, and in fact knew very little about him, but he wants so desperately to meet him. He is likely in danger, too. Everyone is.
But most of all, he thinks of Nathaniel—both the twelve-year-old boy he’d abandoned, and the adult man who had just left.
Had the offer been genuine? Another manipulation? What would he have done if Nicholas had said yes?
Nicholas couldn’t have ever said yes—wouldn’t have ever. But—
But.
(We can be brothers again.)
(A hand outstretched. Please, Nicholas.)
(I could forgive you, if you don’t abandon me now.)
Nicholas feels tears in his eyes, and then the feeling overwhelms him and he falls asleep.