Chapter Text
Ray didn't think he was ever happy in Hisui.
Yeah, of course there was Jubilife and Akari and the professor and the freedom he had never had. But something in him just couldn't stand to stay here any longer. The constant drilling of the Galaxy center construction was almost as monotonous as daily life in the town, and not even the main reason he was forced to stay awake almost every single night in that godforsaken village.
In fact, tonight was one of those nights. After a too-big plate of potato mochi Ray decided to turn in early, too lost in thought to try and talk to anyone but himself. It was only after he hit the too hard bed that the tears began to flow, soft sobs muted under the anxiety that the whole town would have to hear their savior sobbing their guts out.
The boy started to wonder if he had died and this was hell. If it was, it sure was working. Ray was only 15, and although he wasn't the best person before arriving at this neverending nightmare he really wasn't too sure what he had done to deserve this much torture. The constant promise of getting to go back to his home yet seemingly straying further away from it every day was the biggest pain someone could imagine, especially since everything that they had ever loved was in that place. Ray would do anything to even see the grimy, dusty streets of his world again, feel the blazing hot sun he only realized he had taken for granted after the cold, cold Hisui weather had hit, hell, even see his old boss again. Sure, they didn't have the best relationship, but the closest thing to a father figure he had ever had was forever better than staying here the rest of his life.
And yet, Ray knew he had a purpose here. Although not from Sinnoh this ancient version of it he had been thrust in had to be gifted with him for a reason, and Ray was pretty sure he knew what that was. While finding and documenting the 250 some pokemon in this region wasn't going to be easy, Ray would surely make quick work of it if it meant getting to see his own pokemon again.
It wasn't as if Ray didn't love his pokemon here. Of course he did. The Luxray, Scorupi, and Haunter he managed to catch were obviously not nothing to the boy, but a new best friend could never replace the feeling of joy the old one did. He was sure they tried, of course, and Ray felt bad for not feeling purely content with them, but he wasn't sure if there was anything he could do.
That was one of the biggest parts of the torture. Ray actually had some things he liked here. He would be sad to leave the potato mochi behind, no matter how much he was sick of it. He would be sad to leave his pokemon behind if he had to, those poor things had been through so much with him. Most of all, though, he would be sad to leave the people behind. Especially one specific, annoying, togepi spamming, blonde haired merchant.
Ray didn't know what weird draw he had to Volo. He kind of wanted to study him, in a way. Find out what in the hell was going on in that mind of his. Although only having known him for a little while the 15 year old knew something was up with that man, just how he knew something was up with that Lillie girl when he was first tasked to scare her off with some pokemon.
It was odd how similar they behaved, especially considering that poor girl's motherly situation. Ray almost felt bad for her. Someone like Lillie was far too smart to be in that situation willingly, with all of her knowledge and expertise about the creatures that roamed this weird land. He wondered if Volo would be like Lillies mother if he was alive in the present day. Would the man show his true colors, doing nothing but being toxic and cruel, or would he try to better himself to make the world he lives in a better place?
Ray didn't know. Ray didn't like to think about other people, no matter how tempting it was. It was far too exhausting to try and carry someone when he was already having trouble holding himself up, and if Volo really did snap, Ray wouldn’t be there to help him. No matter how much he saw him as a friend. Ray was already here crying his eyes out in a cold, hard bed stuffed so much with pokemon fur that it smelled like death(or maybe that was just him? Ray wasn’t too sure anymore), he wasn’t in the right place to help another.
Still, if it meant having a friend here, Ray wouldn’t mind listening to a tale or two to save his dying mental state.
With a soft sigh the teenager rolled over and shoved his face in his pillow. Despite the awful scent Ray’s main tactic to dry the tears was to suffocate them with the slight softness of his bedding, taking deep breaths as he focused on calming himself down. Somehow, the soft warmth of the pillow as he buried his face into it felt like a person’s warmth, wrapping the sniveling child in a warm hug he strained so hard for. Ray let himself get lost in that delusion just for a little bit, thinking about all of the friendliness and shared sorrows and smiling faces looking towards him for advice back at home. Ray would kill to have a community like that here, to have at least someone who understood the pain he went through every day from homesickness alone.
Yet Ray was nothing but lonely here, drowning in his own self doubt and the soft choking of the pillow.