Chapter Text
The Warrior of Light found themselves in a predicament. Strangely, it was not a predicament which they could solve with the normal method, namely a large application of aether, directed violence and far too late diplomacy. No, this involved something far gentler.
Eorzea and Etheirys at large had finally started to calm down somewhat in the weeks following the Final Days. Those lost were mourned, those who fell to transformations were laid to rest and those who were left began to pick up the pieces. The Warrior had found themselves with more time than they thought was possible. No battles to be fought, and no adventures to be had. They’d been prescribed a healthy dose of bedrest by Krile and under no uncertain terms were told that should they even think of moving they would find themselves bound to the bed in chains. They fully believed the lalafellin woman would go ahead with it as well. Fortunately, all this extra time gave them ample opportunity to sort out the storm of thoughts racing through their brain.
‘Sticky liquid covering their boots, sending agonising shocks up and through their body. Their eardrums popping as planets collided scattering stone, fire and grit across the field. A curved blade tearing through metal armour and leaving, deep weeping wounds. A maniacal laugh tinged with warm notes of affection.’
Their hand came up to their chest feeling the thick, ropey scars that had formed there. Alphi’s healing was good, but they had been more ground dodo meat than person at that point. The healing spells were a patch job at best and it had taken days of constant healing and infusions to bring them back up to full strength. Even then they’d forever bear the reminder of that man’s (cause they refused to call them friend) affections.
“Friends are those you can sit and talk with. Those you share a meal with and care about your wellbeing. Friends are those that you love and receive love from in turn. Not an insane man that follows you demanding that you fight, not a monster that would burn a country for the sake of one moment.” A crack sounded from below making them look down. Making a conscious effort they uncurled their hand from the spiderwebbed wooden bedframe and shook out the tension.
“Tataru’s gonna have my head for that.” They breathed out deeply letting the tension leech from their body. Allowing their thoughts to shift again they settled, as they frequently did, on the Scions. The last few weeks had been interesting to say the least. Whilst they had been confined to bedrest, their friends had refused to leave them out of the loop, and they’d been privy to enough visits to exhaust them.
G’raha had come bearing news of Sharlayan and the changes that were quickly being wrought. Now that the Final Days were a worry of the past, the Forum had quickly began to catalogue and present all the knowledge brought back by the Ragnarok. Endless reams of data covering everything from interstellar travel to the soil content of Ultima Thule, ‘tears falling like rain, breaths impossible to take in, the smell of toxic dynamis pervading their senses.’
They shook their head hard. Following G’raha was Thancred and Urianger. Both came with stories of their journeys around Eorzea, checking up on each of the various region and, in Urianger’s case, serving as tour guide to the endlessly curious Loporrits. They’d found themselves in tears of laughter as Urianger described in his lovely flowery method, of a particular Loporrit which had taken to emulating Thancred’s attitude down to they very weapon he used, even if it was little more than a butter knife in their paws.
After the lively visit from both of them they had a much more low-key afternoon enjoying tea with Y’shtola. They’d spent the time with a number of lovely teas and comfortable, safe chat regarding the applications of Aether to create familiars. The Warrior had mentioned it previously to Y’shtola and she’d promised to aid them in understanding and potentially even summoning a familiar of their own.
Estinien had been a whirlwind, bringing stories of grand hunts of Blasphemies. Evidently he had been busy and whilst it was wonderful to hear the stories (Estinien was a surprisingly good story teller), their hands had been itching to take up their sword and shield the whole time. There was still work to be done and the Blasphemies were far stronger than any typical monster or voidsent. The man had left with promises of hotblooded hunts in the future and the Warrior had spent the rest of the day musing over that man’s words, guilt pooling hot and fresh in their stomach.
“Do I seek challenge? I can’t say I’m brilliant at much other than fighting. I’m a passable craftsman but nowhere near the level of a tradesperson.” Their musing had left them with no conclusions, just an uncomfortable feeling that had run through their whole body. They promptly had taken the feeling, curb stomped it to the ground and shoved it in a box labelled ‘Don’t Touch!’.
However, it was coming to the youngest of the Scions that their predicament was brought to the forefront. Whilst Alphinaud was present, Alisaie had been conspicuously absent. They’d been informed by Alphi that she hadn’t felt up to visiting currently and was very busy aiding in the removal of tempering from the many victims.
Now the Warrior may have not been the most socially present of people. They tended to use one word where four would be needed and had an awful habit of consuming food that they’d been storing for months in the presence of the public. But even they knew when they were being avoided.
Alisaie was cross, angry, annoyed, irritated, vexed and just generally pissed off with them. Whilst not an entirely uncommon situation, this was different. Alisaie, despite her attempts to put on a brave face, was surprisingly sensitive, especially concerning self-sacrifice. Alphi had assured them that it would pass and that she needed time to collect her thoughts, but the Warrior knew that they had hurt her. They knew that a genuine apology would probably be the only thing that would bridge the gap and whilst they both cared for each other deeply, a rift like this could deepen.
A knock on the door knocked them out of their ramblings. Looking up in surprise they were met with the sky-blue eyes of Lyse.
“Knock knock, sorry for dropping in unannounced but I was in the area and thought why not?”
She had eschewed the traditional dress she wore as her political uniform and sometimes battle outfit in favour of a lighter ensemble resembling what she wore during their time in Ala Mhigo. Her hair was up in a simple ponytail, and she was carrying herself with much less tension than they’d seen in her of late.
“It’s always good to see you, managed to slip away from Raubahn for a bit, did you?” they spoke with a chuckle.
Lyse mirrored them, “Officially I’m here on Ala Mhigan business, ensuring trade routes are maintained and liaising with the locals.”
“And unofficially?”
“Raubahn took one look at me and told me to take a vacation for a week or so.” She let out a little laugh, “I think he knew I was one more disputed policy from putting on my gloves again!”
The Warrior laughed along with them. It was always nice talking to Lyse, despite the political power she now possessed and the loss of her from the Scion, it felt the same as it always did. A good friend that they could trust to have their back and would trust with their life. Just like a certain twin.
Their face must have dropped something fierce cause Lyse was immediately in front of them, eyes locked on to theirs with concern painting her face.
“What’s wrong?” she spoke softly.
The Warrior just looked at them.
“Ok, silly question I know, plenty’s wrong a lot of the time and if what I’ve heard is true it’s been really bad lately. But more specifically, what’s bothering you right now?”
The Warrior let out a sigh before launching into an explanation.
“So, you intentionally sent them away to fight by yourself and the next time they saw you it was with most of the blood being outside your body.” She let out a sigh and the Warrior could see her hands unclenching from where they been gripped white. She looked to them again, “So what’s the problem, just apologise properly. I’m sure she hates being mad at you as much as you hate upsetting her.”
The Warrior took a moment to consider before speaking, “The problem is… I’m not sorry, not for sending them away like that and not for fighting by myself.” The words came out quiet and small, and they could feel shame heating their body.
Lyse looked at them sharply, eyes wide with anger before they softened. “I know you probably just didn’t know how to phrase that but let me do you a favour. Don’t say that to her if you ever want her to forgive you.”
“That’s the problem, I-I’m not used to people being angry with me, not people I care about at least.” The closest they could think of was either Ardbert when they initially came to the First or Emet-Selch, and that was a can of worms they weren’t touching any time soon. “Any time I’ve dealt with someone’s anger, I… its either been in a fight or people whose opinion means less than Chocobo dung to me!”
Lyse had planted herself on the bed next to them and had taken up a thinking pose, her hand holding her chin in thought. “It’s a difficult one. On one hand an apology is the only way this is getting fixed, but on the other if you give one without meaning it then you might as well not bother.” She turned her gaze to them again. “You’re sure of what you said right?”
“I am, I-I can’t apologise based on that cause I’d be lying to her” and didn’t that burn something fierce. She cared so much for them and all they could do was hurt her without even feeling properly apologetic for it. Lyse wrapped her arms around them, pulling them closer.
“Then maybe don’t apologise.”
“Huh?”
“You said it yourself. You can’t apologise so it’s silly to keep trying to push it out, and you’re obviously sorry about hurting her. So maybe instead of apologising you can get your feelings out another way cause Twelve knows talking isn’t the way for you.”
“How so?” they said genuinely confused.
“Do you remember the day I put on Yda’s dress?”
How could they forget? A warmth to the air carried on the breeze, sun spilling across the grand stone fingers of Rhalgr. Aether and flesh clashing as they fought hand-to-hand. They’d donned the vestments of a monk of Rhalgr around then and it had never felt more appropriate. It had been fun, just pure fun and a distraction from the war raging around them. A distraction that had been sorely needed after everything. They nodded, realising Lyse was still waiting.
“I didn’t just ask you up there as a warm-up, it was a way for me to get everything out. I wasn’t sure whether we’d survive tomorrow. I had to let you know how much I care about you, how much we all do and giving you a relaxed afternoon was the best way I could think to do that.”
The Warrior felt warmth stretch from the tips of their toes all the way up to head. They knew their friends cared for them, but to hear her say it so frankly. They reached out and returned the hug, squeezing tightly. Lyse chuckled lightly.
“So maybe trying to talk it out might not work, maybe try something else. I have it on good authority that the twins will be in Mor Dhona tomorrow.” She said, a smile on her lips.
“That… sounds like a brilliant idea. One issue, I’m confined to bedrest.”
“Don’t worry about that, I’ll run a distraction for you.” The Warrior looked at her curiously before deciding it was in their best interest not to know.
“Thanks, Lyse, really thank you.” they said with a smile.
“It’s alright, now enough moping. I got the basics from the others but I wanna hear more about the Moon.” She said seriously, unwrapping herself from the hug.
The next day, evening couldn’t come quick enough. Lyse had been round to inform them of the time and Alisaie’s location. She was currently training using the dummies setup just outside the Mor Dhona proper.
Tightening the straps on the basic set of leather armour they wore; they bent down to retrieve their sword. The armour carefully crafted by Tataru and her artisans for them was currently undergoing a repair job following the absolute destruction it had undergone. An additional incentive to keep them from leaving their quarters. After all, no armour means less chance of Blasphemy hunting.
Slinging the sword onto their hip and the shield onto their back, they waited the last five minutes before hurriedly exiting their room. Each step of their boots on the stone floor of the Scions home base sounded like a crashing cart and they could feel a cold sweat building up on their neck.
‘No Krile in sight, guess that means Lyse’s plan worked’
Pushing through the front doors of the Rising Stones they were met with the cool air of Mor Dhona. The sun was going down, painting the sky hues of orange and purple. Taking a deep breath, they let the fresh air fill their lungs as far as they would go before exhaling.
Moving quickly, they avoided eye contact with as many of the residents of Mor Dhona that they could. Whilst many of them possessed frankly alarming levels of gratitude towards the Warrior, they weren’t sure that overpowered their fear of Krile.
They made it to the edge of the settlement heading towards the dummies. As they approached, they could hear the sounds of metal on wood and the ringing of magic in the air. Getting closer the same magic began to manifest as motes of aether on the wind and the smell of smoke in the air.
A shorter figure came into view, rebounding off a one of the dummies and landing in a crouch. As they landed a Verflare spell immediately erupted above the dummy, incinerating the straw head, and sending a wave of heat shooting across the plain. Exertion was plain on her face, sweat beading on her forehead. She was wearing the same combat outfit she had worn through the entirety of the Final Days, albeit cleaner than it had been near the end.
In an effort to not get themselves set on fire the Warrior called out, “Alisaie!”. She immediately stiffened, remaining faced away from the Warrior. No words came and she continued firing spells off towards the dummy, each flying harder and stronger than the last. The dummy was swiftly reduced to splinters and then stamped down into ash.
“The dummy isn’t exactly a challenge for you.” Still no words came from her. “If you’re looking to practice, I’m available.” At this she let out a small snort.
“Weren’t you supposed to be chained to a bed.” Her words came out short and stilted, but beneath it the Warrior could sense the concern.
“I’ve been resting, and now I’m ready to train. I was hoping you could help me.” they said.
Alisaie pinned them with a withering look, and it wasn’t hard to figure out why. The Warrior must’ve looked like either the densest person on the star or intentionally trying to frustrate her. Neither were good options.
‘Come on Alisaie, I’m trying here.’
After a few moments where it looked like her anger would overflow, she let out a frustrated sigh.
“You know what, sparring with you sounds like something I need right now. If you’re sure you’re healed enough.”
‘Just like her, despite her anger she still doesn’t want to see me seriously hurt’
“I’ll be fine, now let’s begin.” They spoke a slight smile coming to their face.
‘Not fine, not fine! Things are definitely not fine!’, they rolled backwards bringing their shield up as red crystalline bolts of Aether slammed against it cracking into sprays of grit that stung their skin.
The beginning of the exchange had started innocently enough with both of them probing to get an idea of the others strength. It had been a long time since their last spar and The Final Days had forced them all to get stronger in so many different ways. Quickly however, the spar increased in intensity. As soon as Alisaie realised they weren’t showing the same injuries as before she ramped up the intensity of the spells.
As it turned out, Alisaie sparred hard. Getting to their feet the Warrior attempted to close the distance. Whilst their physical body had been healed, the amount of Aether and Dynamis utilised in Ultima Thule had side effects. They’d been strictly informed that Aether manipulation for anything more than heating a pot of tea was not allowed. As such they were limited in what they could bring to the spar.
Spells flew from Alisaie fast, Jolts flew past their head exploding in circles of arcane power. Verthunder IIs and Veraero IIs followed swiftly after. As they flew the Echo stirred within their head showing them the perfect path, they would need to dodge them. Whilst this was a useful power offered by Venat’s Blessing it made sparring in any casual sense difficult and they always ran the risk of becoming over reliant. Silencing the echo in their head they crouched low letting the spells wash over their shield and slicing the more aggressive ones out of the air.
Finally closing the distance, Alisaie brought her rapier up thrusting it towards their shoulder. The Warrior ducked to the left as she overextended. They rammed forward with their shield crashing it into her chest and knocking her backwards. They were rewarded with a Jolt exploding behind the back forcing them into her as she immediately rocketed backwards off the shield, sending a cross of Aether to smash into their chest.
The Warrior let out a gasp of pain as the distance was increased again. ‘Smart move, keeping distance lets her cast to her heart’s content and severely reduces what I can do.’ Pushing strength to their legs they shot forward arriving as the girl landed, they could see her eyes widen as they brought the flat of their sword up striking the side of her leg.
The landing combined with the sudden pain sent her down to one knee which the Warrior followed up with a shield bash to her shoulder. The force of the shield sent her sprawling back. Recovering quickly, she rolled back into a crouched position before bringing her focus up. A slight change in Aether was all the warning they got before a series of spinning Holy orbs impacted the ground around them.
The Light Aether burned across their body leaving searing remnants and blinding them briefly. A sharp pain was the only warning they got as Alisaie closed the distance and buried one of her boots in their gut. Blinking the spots from their eyes the brought the hilt of their sword down in a punishing strike on the girl’s knee forcing her back into their range. The exchanges continued like this, neither of them willing to give ground, and it was glorious.
‘I missed this.’ How long had it been since they’d sparred like this; since they’d had a fight where their life wasn’t on the line. And what a fight it was. Alisaie fought with ferocity, pulling her punches just enough to avoid injuring them but detonating every spell with purpose. They responded with kind using every ilm of sword skill they had learnt. All their spells and stronger Aether based techniques were barred so they were forced to fight smarter. They could feel their heart pounding and their blood singing. The soul crystals on their person tingled, begging them to adapt and bring them to the forefront. They forced the urge down resolving to keep only their Paladin Kit.
Alisaie had gotten so much stronger, and it showed. She was always fiercely intelligent, but it was demonstrated even further with her style. Every attack had them double guessing if its was a feint or a biting attack that would leave them wincing. Whilst there had been no doubt in spars past that they would win, the circumstances now ensured that not only were they losing, they were losing badly. Bruises and burn blossomed all over their body leaving it aching from exertion whilst Alisaie has a single visible scuff on her cheek and was favouring her left leg.
‘This is incredible, I knew she’d gotten better but this is insane.’ Their muscles burned with the pleasant exertion of fighting, and they brought their arms up to bear. As they ramped up for a blow that carved through the air, a single thought stopped them cold.
‘Isn’t this what Zenos was saying?’. Their moment of hesitation didn’t go unpunished as Alisaie flipped upwards striking with the force of Red Magic. The blade cut a complicated flower into the air as The Warrior was knocked back with the force of the blow. Landing heavily on their back as the air was forced from their lungs, they were given no time to recover as Alisaie was immediately in their face. She was almost snarling, clutching the edge of their armour in one hand, the other gripping her rapier so tightly her knuckles were white.
“What was that?! Are you seriously taking it easy on me?” Her eyes were hard, and her teeth bared. What had begun as a friendly spar had obviously degraded quickly. “I don’t need your pity, you wanted to spar so spar!” She dropped them and stalked away.
‘That wasn’t normal, she never gets that angry when fighting.’
The Warrior got to their feet wincing as their ribs protested. Alisaie had remained turned away from them, but they could see her trembling slightly, breaths coming quick.
“Alisaie, I know I messed up, but this is more than that, what’s wrong?” they asked.
The elezen girl took a few moments to compose herself then turned to face him. Her face was red from exertion, and she evidently felt the adrenaline as her fingers danced over the hilt of her weapon.
“I thought it would make me feel better you know, fighting with you. I thought that was the point of this.” She spoke. The Warrior’s face must’ve shown more than they thought because she scoffed. “Please, we haven’t spoken for weeks and then out of nowhere you’re asking me to spar. I’m not naive enough to believe that you had no idea of what I was feeling.”
“So did it work?” The Warrior questioned.
Alisaie glared at them before releasing a sigh, “It did at first which annoyed me, it felt good to let out some of these feelings.” Her expression turned flinty, “But then you started pulling punches and I remembered why I was so cross with you!” She walked closer to them tension thrumming through her features. “Even after everything, in a fight where I’ve had you on the ropes the entire time. You still don’t trust me to manage myself.”
The Warrior gaped, “W-Why would you think that?”
“What else am I supposed to think!?” The girl had worked herself up at this and showed no signs of stopping. “Do you know how it feels, to see someone you care about constantly have to fight for their life by themselves? To see them walk out the door with a smile and have no idea if they’re coming back?” The Warrior shook their head.
“Because I do! I see it every time that you leave, every time Alphinaud gets some new bleeding-heart idea into his head, every time I remember my grandfather leaving on a ship.” Her head dropped, “Everything with The Final Days was awful, but there’s one moment I remember above all.” She raised her head to look at them, “Fighting Hydaelyn, for once we didn’t have to leave you by yourself. Didn’t have to pat you on the back and send you to fight some manner of monstrosity. We could stand with you, and it felt good to finally give you the strength that you give us.”
The Warrior felt their heart drop, they knew Alisaie’s feelings weren’t new. Her desperate speech in Ultima Thule, twins vanishing into darkness, alone, all alone, was tattooed permanently into their mind. They just never considered how deep those feelings had run.
“But then the Endsinger came, after we’d forced you to that summit alone. We were ready to stand with you but then you sent us away. You sent me away! We arrived on the ship with no idea of where you were or if you were still alive! All we could do was pray. Then Meteion showed up saying you were following close behind. We waited for ages but nothing.” The girl stamped her foot, “Then you arrive a bleeding mess and I wasn’t sure if you were going to die or not!” The anger slowly left her leaving a hollow space behind. The Warrior stepped forward getting closer. “All I wanted to know is why? Why do you get to be the one that has to fight alone, why do you get to decide what we can do? Why did that monster have to be at your side for the fight? Why don’t you trust us to help you!?”
Ice rolled up The Warrior’s spine, ‘Is that what she really believes I think, that they’re not good enough to help me.’ They hadn’t realised that Alisaie had been struggling with this the whole time. No, the entirety of the Scions probably felt the same but were wishing to push it down for the sake of peace.
“Alisaie… I won’t apologise for what I did.” The girl started at that, fury slowly pooling in her face, “But I will apologise for making you feel this way. I didn’t send you away because I don’t trust you”
“Then what, we were in a bad spot I know but we might’ve been able to find a way.” She spoke with curiosity overwriting the anger.
“Ali, I’m not good with phrasing things, but let me try. I am the most selfish person on Eitherys.” The girl looked more confused at that, “I am selfish cause I want everything, I want all of your admiration and praise cause it makes me stop doubting myself. I want your friendship and love cause I can’t imagine living without it.” The Warrior looked her in the eyes, “But most of all I’m selfish cause I’d prefer a world where I die over one where I have to watch you die.” The girl’s eyes widened. “I would gladly let myself die a thousand times before I would let one of you pass. That isn’t out of altruism despite what G’raha says, you are all my loved ones, and I would rather live in a world where you curse my memory than one where I have to mourn yours. It wasn’t lack of trust in you, but trust in myself to deal with whatever happened.”
Alisaie took in his visage, her face taking on a complicated expression. The she stood tall, “I can accept that, I don’t like it but I’m glad to hear it wasn’t mistrust but-“ her hand shot out to grab the armour again, “try anything like this again and you won’t have to worry about me cursing your memory, I’ll drag you kicking and screaming from the Lifestream myself to do it in person.” She wrapped her arms around them holding on tightly.
The Warrior laughed at that, a full rich laugh that warmed the evening air, “I’ll hold you to that, and I promise to be better. If there’s one thing Meteion taught me, my life is better cause of the struggles we endure. But there’s no reason to endure them alone. I probably have some other apologies to give.”
The girl released them and nodded, “Despite what he may have looked like, Alphinaud is furious as well, he’s just better at hiding it.”
They both started to walk back towards the Rising Stones supporting each other. The Warrior found themselves exhausted as the emotions which had been burning in their chest finally had a release. Maybe, they could stand to share more of their ails with the Scions.
“I didn’t pull my strike you know.” They spoke to the girl.
“Hmm?”
“It wasn’t me pulling it. I think there’s a lot more I need to tell you all.” They said seriously.
Alisaie took in their expression and nodded, before smiling as the two friends limped back under the setting sun to what would surely be a scolding by Krile.