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It was Steve’s idea to invite Robin and Nancy over for a movie night.
If he had told them the real reason they were invited over, they would have freaked out on him. Steve loved the girls, but Robin was naturally always stressed out, and Nancy very easily could go from a three to an eleven in zero seconds flat.
Nancy had always been the level headed one of their group, but even Steve had seen how removed she had become since 1983. She had this need to be able to see every angle, this need to know exactly what was coming so she could prepare. It wasn’t a mistake that while Steve was handy with a bat, Nancy was skilled with a firearm. Steve got into the fray, he needed blood in his mouth and dirt under his fingernails to know he was doing something helpful. Nancy’s head was on a swivel at all times, she needed distance and preparation.
Maybe that’s why they didn’t work out.
Steve shook the thought from his head.
Robin, on the surface, was still the same old Robin he had met at Scoops, but he’d be a liar if he said he hadn’t noticed her change as well after her first scrape with the Upside Down. At Scoops she had been cooler, more withdrawn. Now… maybe they simply were better friends or maybe they were just trauma-bonded, but Robin was more frazzled as of late as if her withdrawn exterior had been washed away and she was okay with Steve knowing she was a bit of a mess.
Steve passed a hand through his hair, pacing a path into his carpet as he waited. He didn’t think Robin or Nancy would stop hanging out with him or anything; he knew them enough to know this wasn’t world-ending. What Steve was afraid of was how they would treat him after.
He wasn’t fragile. Steve Harrington wasn’t fragile. He could take a hit and he’d bounce back because he knew if he wasn’t the body they threw in the way, someone else who was a little less sturdy, and a little more important, might end up getting hurt. So Steve might run himself ragged, and he might tear at the seams, and he might find himself cracking and shattering into a million pieces, but no one could say that he couldn’t get right back up and keep running. Maybe he lost some pieces along the way, but he could still be useful.
He needed them to know he could still be useful.
“Steve, sit down,” Eddie hummed out from his place on the couch. The metalhead had still been by his side when Steve woke up that morning, himself still dressed in just a thin hospital gown, and Eddie still pressed against his side, a leg was haphazardly thrown over his own and an arm wrapped tight around Steve’s middle. His face was pressed against Steve's neck, his mess of hair fanning messily across Steve’s face, making it less than optimal breathing conditions, but at the moment, Steve found it hard to complain about.
He could have suffocated to death for all he cared, and Steve would have died a happy man.
Eddie had parted from his side only once since they woke up, and that was just to run back to the Harrington household and grab Steve some real clothes while they were waiting for Steve’s blood tests to come back.
Eddie had planned his moment of absence very carefully, Steve had realized in hindsight. He had been there when Steve woke up and had stayed through all the weird medical stuff, and after he left, had arrived back just in time to talk Steve through all the weird medical jargon.
Steve would have been fine if Eddie had left. He wasn’t nearly as bad with needles as Robin was, but he’d have been lying if he had said it wasn’t nice that Eddie was there when they were drawing his blood.
His brain still felt foggy and weird as the doctor tied an elastic band around his forearm. He hadn’t even realized the needle was in his arm until two of the three vials they called in for testing were full.
“Mr. Harrington?” The doctor had asked gently as if he were worried Steve would pass out at any second.
“Hm?” He hadn’t even realized he was being spoken to. Maybe he was still recovering, maybe it was the fact he was now losing blood, maybe it was a mix of both.
“I asked if you smoke?”
“He does.” Eddie spoke up, having moved from the bed back to his chair before any nurses or doctors could walk in and catch them. “Or, did? Weren’t you thinking about quitting?”
Eddie was so easy to listen to. His voice had rhythm and flow when he spoke. Sometimes it rumbled low and other times when he was excited it pitched high, but no matter what, Steve found it so simple to follow along.
“Hm, kinda.” Steve gave a nod as the doctor placed a pad of some kind over the needle, pulling it out of his skin before putting a bandaid over it. “I try to only smoke once a week.”
The doctor nodded. “Going forward, it would be best if you tried to stop altogether. Smoking can cause your blood vessels to constrict and that can heighten your chances of having another stroke.”
Steve nodded. “Ok yeah, I can do that.” He would not be able to do that, but this random doctor didn’t need to know that.
Hours later, when Steve was back in his normal clothes and the blood tests had all comeback and it didn’t look like he was seconds away from keeling over and dying, the hospital finally let them leave.
And in the car ride home, that's when Steve said it. “I think I need to tell Robin and Nancy.”
Eddie glanced over from his place in the driver’s side. When had Eddie gotten his driver’s license? “Well I think that's a great idea. I was beginning to wonder how you would explain your two week work absence to Ms. Buckley.”
Steve blinked. “What?”
Eddie furrowed his brow, turning the steering wheel as the car pulled into the driveway. Was the ride really that short? Steve would have sworn that they just got in the car. “Uh, the doctor said they wanted you to stay home and get some rest for the next two weeks before going back to work, you know, make sure you don’t pop a blood vessel while on the clock or something.”
“Fuck.” Steve mumbled, fussing with his seatbelt as he got out of the car. “Okay, yeah, shit, I really have to tell them this time, huh?”
“Life must be hard for the king,” Eddie joked as he slid out of the car. “Being forced to tell your friends you had a stroke? How can life be so cruel?”
“I can’t believe you’re already making fun of me.” Despite his tone, Steve couldn’t fight the smile on his lips. Eddie’s overdramatics always seemed to get him just at the right moment. “It hasn’t even been 12 hours. If I had died my body wouldn’t even be cold yet.”
“Hey, not funny, don’t joke about that,” Eddie said, his face blank as he unlocked the door. A beat of silence floated through the air before Eddie cracked, a stifled laugh slipping past his lips.
“You’re a dick.”
“Oh but I’m your dick!” Eddie paused. “That didn’t come out right.”
So more or less, that's how Steve ended up here, pacing around his living room, waiting for the girls to arrive.
Steve ignored Eddie’s request for him to sit. “What if they freak out? I mean, I know they’re gonna freak out a little, but what if they make it out to be worse than it actually is?”
Eddie hummed his hand still on the cushion where he had gestured for the other boy to sit. “They’re supposed to freak out about these things. They’re your friends, Stevie.”
“I know, I just…” Steve paused, finally taking Eddie up on that offer to sit down, collapsing onto the couch next to the metalhead. “I… I don’t want them… I’m not broken, Eddie.”
Eddie’s hand settled on top of Steve’s head, his nails dragging circles into the flesh of the former jock’s scalp. “No one ever said you were, sweetheart.”
Steve exhaled, letting his head fall back into the pressure of Eddie’s hand, a pleasant hum escaping the back of his throat. He could get used to this.
Steve was far past gone. He had long since realized his feelings for Eddie were more than platonic, and more than just purely sexual also. He wanted to wake up in the morning cuddled next to the other boy every day until the very sun exploded. He wanted to come home after work and find Eddie dancing to his music in the living room. He wanted something simple, and stupid, and domestic. He wanted Eddie to be in the passenger seat when he finally set out for that cross country road trip, a handful of little nuggets tossed into the back of their van.
And he wanted it to be their van and their little nuggets. He wanted to share the world with Eddie because he deserved it more than anyone deserved anything ever.
But now was not the time for his feelings, when Robin and Nancy could walk in at any minute.
When would be the time though? Something about Eddie Munson made Steve so unstable and emotional that the mere thought of disappointing him apparently would send him into a fucking stroke, so when would it be time? When would the universe give him a fucking break, and just let him be calm and happy enough so that he wouldn’t have to bare his bleeding heart to Eddie with tears in his eyes?
Steve was beginning to worry it wouldn’t ever happen at all.
They both heard the front door open and shut -- Robin had a spare key -- but Steve didn’t move, simply waiting for them to walk in as Eddie’s hand fell from the other boy’s hair, landing across the expanse that was Steve’s shoulders.
He was really glad Eddie didn’t move away. Steve was pretty sure he would have sprinted out of the house and into the woods if Eddie hadn’t been touching him.
“Steve! We couldn’t agree on a movie, so we brought Little Shop of Horrors and Teen Wolf, please tell Nancy that she’s wrong and that Little Shop is the movie of the night.” Robin spoke at a million miles an hour as she marched into the room, tossing both movies onto the coffee table as she practically threw herself onto the couch next to Steve. “Hi Eddie.”
Eddie raises a hand. “Hello ladies. Sorry Robs, but I’m with Wheeler on this one.”
Steve turned to Nancy, who was standing at the precipice of the living room, her eyes searching the walls like they held the secrets of the universe. Steve had never noticed how out of place she looked in his house like she knew she was somewhere she wasn’t supposed to be.
Not that it was a bad thing. Nancy was amazing, and even after they had stopped dating, she had continued to be amazing, just in a different way, and for someone else.
She caught his eyes watching her, and sent him a smile. “Sorry, I just noticed that… well it’s exactly the same as I remember.”
Steve almost locked up. The last time Nancy had been in this house was when they broke up. Sure, they were still friends, but never had he invited her over to the Harrington household. Which… that was insane. Robin and Eddie had been over a million and a half times.
But not Nancy.
“Yeah,” he mumbled, his eyes tracing along the walls. Maybe if he looked hard enough, he could see the secrets too. “Yeah, I-- I didn’t really wanna make any changes without my parents knowing so, like…” his voice trailed off, realizing how sad that sounded. His parents hadn’t been home long enough to move a single piece of furniture in the past four years. No wonder Nancy didn’t come over, this place sucked.
“Steve.” Robin snapped in front of his face, capturing his attention again. “I’m currently losing the world’s dumbest argument. Please tell me you’d rather watch Little Shop over Teen Wolf.”
Steve blinked, looking over both VHS covers. He hadn’t seen either film, but if he remembered correctly, he thinks one of them was a musical? “I-- I don’t think I can handle a musical right now.”
“I can’t believe you people.” Robin sighed loudly, picking up Teen Wolf. “Truly, terrible taste, the lot of you.”
“You’re just upset you lost,” Nancy hummed, finally making her way into the living room, sitting on the far end of the couch, next to where Robin had been sitting.
This was easy. This was so terribly simple, that Steve could almost let himself pretend this was the real reason he had invited his friends over, and it didn’t have to be anything more or less than that.
But then Eddie’s hand tightened on his shoulder, not urging him forward or trying to hassle him into admission. It was just a simple ‘I’m here if you need me’, and maybe Steve wished he didn’t, but he knew he did.
“Hey, guys.” Steve felt like he was choking on the words and Robin paused, turning away from the VHS player. And suddenly Steve realized that maybe this was what he was afraid of, just the simple admission that something was wrong with him.
Steve Harrington wasn’t fragile. It was a statement he was making a lot, to himself, to Eddie, to anyone who would listen to him say it. He wasn’t fragile. But at some point between now and the end of the conversation, Steve would have to admit he was. He would have to look his friends in the eyes, and tell them at any given moment he could fall apart because he had been in the slow yet steady process of doing so since nineteen eighty-fucking-three.
Steve swallowed hard, his throat dry. “We-- I need to tell you something.”
Robin and Nancy shared a look, the taller of the girls slowly dropping Teen Wolf back onto the table as she moved back to her place on the couch, a gentle hand landing on Steve’s arm. “What’s going on?”
“I--” Steve felt himself choking, his eyes landing on the coffee table in front of him just so he wouldn’t have to look anyone in the eye. “I need to tell you something, and I need you guys not to freak out or think any different of me after.”
Normally Robin would crack a joke, but right now she was quiet, waiting for Steve to elaborate or explain. “Yesterday night I-- Eddie-- well something happened and I just wanted you guys to know--” A strangled laugh erupted from the back of his throat. He wanted to cry. “Fuck me, why is this so hard?”
Robin glanced over at Nancy. “No, I think I know what this is about.”
Steve tensed. Did they know? There was no way they could know about his stroke, but what about his eye? Did they know about that? Eddie hadn’t gotten to know Steve until after he lost half his sight, but Robin and Nancy knew him personally before the accident, had he not been as careful as he thought?
Steve glanced up at her. “I-- you do?”
Robin’s head swayed slightly. “I mean, I don’t know about Nance, but I’ve had my suspicions for a while.” Steve’s stomach dropped. If he was really that bad at hiding it, did the kids know? Did all of fucking Hawkins know at this point?
Steve swiveled his eyes over to Nancy, who was staring at her shoes. “Nance?”
She bit her lip. “I-- yeah… I kinda thought… you know everything with Billy… I didn’t want to assume anything but, you know.” Steve let his eyes fall back to the table. God, yeah, that was the night Billy died. Steve always forgot it was the same stupid night.
“Fuck. Yeah, that… that was when it happened.” Steve tightened his grip on the denim of his jeans. One down, one more to go. “But, uh, that’s not all, there's another thing.”
Robin smiled one of her big smiles that she wore when she was about to rag on Steve. “Yeah! Honestly? That one did come out of left field. I mean, Eddie? No offense man, but you know, I didn’t really think your taste…” her head swiveled, looking between Nancy and Eddie. “Wait, actually, no now I can see it.”
Nancy covered her face. “Robin, oh my god.”
Now Steve was confused. “What?”
“You’re right, I’m being an asshole. I’m so happy for you guys! This happened, when did you say? Last night? What happened, I want to hear all the details!” Robin leaned back into the couch, kicking her feet up on the coffee table.
Steve had to be having a second stroke, because the only way this conversation made sense was if it wasn’t making sense and actually Steve was just having a second stroke. “I think some wires got crossed. What are you/i> talking about?”
Robin blinked, slowly sitting up. “You and Eddie are… dating?”
Steve locked up. This was the nightmare scenario. At some point, somewhere in this conversation, something had taken a left turn and now Steve Harrington was in hell because there was no way this was actually happening to him in real life. Maybe the stroke had actually killed him, and he was for real dead and this was his cruel and unusual punishment for all of eternity.
“Woah I-- no, we aren’t-- I-- he didn’t-- we--” A weird strangled noise escaped Steve’s lips as he stood up far too fast and almost blacked out. “I had a stroke last night.”
“WHAT!?” Steve blinked and suddenly Eddie was the only person still sitting, and even he had moved to the edge of the couch. Robin was grabbing his shoulders, and it looked like Nancy had crossed her arms to keep herself from touching Steve but she was halfway in his blindspot so maybe she wasn't, but both girls were talking to fast and too loud and he could hear them but he couldn’t hear them, and it was too much too fast and--
“HEY!” Eddie had placed a hand on both girls’ shoulders, pulling them back a step from Steve. “Cool your fuckin’ jets, you’re freaking the man out.”
Nancy bit her lip, taking a full step back on her own. “Shit, sorry. I didn’t mean-- I’m sorry.”
Steve waved his hands in front of him. “No no I get it, I’m fine.” He was absolutely not fine. “I mean, it was just a mini stroke, they called it, and they tested my blood and all that stuff and for the most part, I look good. Apparently, I just got so stressed my brain decided to fail on me, but what else is new!” It felt bad to say, and even worse when he saw their faces after saying it. “Sorry, bad joke.”
“I…” Robin fumbled with her suspenders. Of course she was wearing suspenders. “What happened?”
Steve moved past them, sitting on the couch. It felt unstable to stand. “Eddie invited me to his concert and for some reason it just slipped my mind and I missed it, and then he called me and… I don’t know, I felt really shitty about missing it and went to take a shower to calm down and at some point in there I just started thinking my body was shutting down on me and I was dying or something. I tried to get to the phone but I realized I couldn’t get down the stairs, and then Eddie showed up and…” Steve paused looking up. “Wait, Eddie, why did you show up?”
The metalhead paused, blinking slowly. A nervous smile crossed his lips, his hand tugging his own hair across his face. Cute. “Oh, you sounded sad on the phone when you hung up and I just wanted to make sure you didn’t kill yourself or anything.”
“Oh.” Steve said dumbly.
“Wait.” Robin cut in. “You had a stroke last night. What were you talking about with the whole… other thing with Billy?”
Steve blinked. “That's… wait, was that also you thinking I was coming out? Do you guys not know I’m half blind?”
Robin fully sat down on the floor, her hands covering her face. “What?”
Steve shrunk in on himself. “After the Russian torture and stuff, I went home and realized I couldn’t see out of my left eye.”
Nancy looked up at the ceiling. She looked like she was trying to will herself not to scream. “That was the night Billy died. That’s what you meant.”
“Yeah.” Steve blinked. “Wait, did you think I had a crush on Billy?”
Nancy wouldn’t look at him. “In my defense--”
Steve devolved instantly into crazed laughter, his head hitting the back of the couch and his arms curling around himself. This had to have been the worst way this conversation could have possibly gone. Every single time there was an opportunity for miscommunication, they took it because they were so so stupid and Steve loved every single person in the room so so much.
After what felt like a solid hour of Steve laughing like he was about to die, he gestured for the others to join him on the couch, trying to hold them as close as he possibly could. This was a disaster; he wouldn’t have had it any other way. “Okay okay, let me just explain everything one time through so there’s no confusion.”
So they sat there and listened, Nancy tucked under Steve’s right arm and Robin’s head pressed into his lap. Eddie had found his way almost behind Steve. His right leg tucked behind the other boy and his right trapped under Robin as his arms were wrapped around Steve’s middle, his head tucked against the former jock’s shoulder.
It wasn’t perfect, and honestly kind of uncomfortable, but Steve didn’t move or push anyone away as they stayed piled there in his space.
By the end of the night, Steve had decided Teen Wolf was only mediocre and Robin was definitely correct about Little Shop of Horrors being the better film.