Chapter Text
||☕️||
Toya stood there. He had been standing there for several minutes at that point, the fear of what could happen if he entered his house preventing him from moving any further than the start of the driveway, like an invisible wall.
The lump in his chest grew and grew, practically suffocating him. He knew that feeling would only grow if he stepped inside.
Maybe just this once…he’s not here, Toya thought to themself, maybe just this once I’ll be safe…
With that thought in mind, they finally made their way to the door, slowly opening it to avoid alarming anyone that they had returned home. They looked around only to not see anyone there, and as a result tried to rush upstairs before he could be seen.
Keyword here: tried.
“Toya.” A stern voice called out.
Toya’s father was always cold. Stepping inside the Aoyagi residence was like stepping into a home of ice, with air that made it feel like you were choking with how thick it was. There were little spikes of ice everywhere, threatening to stab into your feet if you made a wrong move. The aura of the house alone was enough to make you feel sick with tension.
Which is exactly what made stepping into the house so difficult for Toya.
His chest was closing again, making it feel like he could barely even get anything inside of his lungs, and he felt himself tense and flinch at the sound of his name.
He slowly turned his head to meet his father’s cold, gray eyes, which were piercing into his very core and tearing him apart inside.
“…Yes father?” Toya muttered, desperately trying to avoid any confrontation.
“Just where have you been?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I need to know where you went. Now tell me. ”
Harumichi sighed, “You were hanging out with that ginger kid again weren’t you?”
I don’t have time for this.
“So what if I was?” Toya hissed.
He marches over to them, grabbing them by the collar.
“How many FUCKING times do I have to go over this just for you to understand?!” He roared as he stared Toya directly in the eyes.
Shit. Bad idea.
They could feel the panic settling in, as their body started to tremble and their breathing sped up.
“I swear you’re always with him and I’m so SICK of it. He’s a bad influence on you Toya! He’s made you a disappointment!”
No he fucking hasn’t. He’s made me better than you ever have.
“You’re just wasting your time with him.”
My time with him has been the best time of my life.
“You should just quit that pathetic street music and come back to classical which you were supposed to do from the start.”
I can’t stand that music anymore, it’s brought me nothing but pain.
“You have proven to be nothing but a disappointment since you started to rebel.”
So I’m now a disappointment for being my own person and not wanting to be put in a box based on what someone else wants me to be?!
“You are a disgrace to this family.”
Shut up.
Shut up!
SHUT UP!!!
“SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”
Silence. Silence that had been more fear inducing than Harumichi’s yelling. That fear now had Toya dashing up the stairs and locking their door behind them, as if it was chasing them and trying to claw onto them. As they did so, they slowly slid down to the floor with their back turned towards it once it was locked.
Luckily, he didn’t come after them.
But, god…I probably won’t hear the end of it tomorrow.
Whatever, I just need to relax right now.
And with that, Toya let themself flop onto their bed as they drifted off to sleep, ignoring the dread sinking its way into their whole body like it was venom.
I just need peace. That’s all I want. I just want to be free from the chaos and the fear. That’s it.
||🥞||
Akito was tapping his foot on the ground at the school gate, looking around for a certain split and blue-haired boy.
Toya isn’t usually this late, he thinks to himself as he tries texting them an additional time.
akihoe: hey where you at?
toya?
hellooooo
ok you’re starting to freak me out
seriously where did you go???
Just as the ginger boy goes to make his way inside the school, he hears Toya called out to him.
“Aki!”
He turns and sighs in relief at the sight of his partner, despite how clear it is that he rushed to get to school.
Their hair was chaotic, uniform wrinkled, bag not even closed all the way, and eye bags weighing down Toya’s face.
“Damn, you really didn’t even brush your hair before you ran out?” He chuckled as he started to comb their hair back into its usual place.
“Ah…I suppose so.”
The slight hint of worry in Toya’s voice made it clear to Akito why he must’ve been late. Probably either had a fight with his father or barely got sleep from the night before, guessing from his eye bags.
God Akito wanted to punch that man.
“Hey, c’mere.” Akito mumbled as he motioned for Toya to lean his head down to his own.
Toya blinked a bit, then eventually leaned his head down, to which he received a soft kiss on the forehead from his boyfriend.
“Remember, I’ll always be here if you need me, kay?” Akito warmly smiled, which he knew felt so comforting to Toya.
He just hummed in response, bringing Akito into a hug.
The two stood there for a while, eventually quietly heading inside the school building, hand in hand.
I’m glad I have him.
||☕️||
That dread persisted, spreading further.
Although Akito’s comfort alleviated some of the tension Toya had, as the day drew on and the time to go back to his house approached, he had just become an anxious mess.
He wanted to avoid going back home to the fury inside his father from his outburst yesterday as much as possible, but it's not like he could just run away. He would try and find him. Plus, he knew he wouldn’t just let him go up to his room. He was pretty much completely cornered, faced to deal with his father’s terrifying and dangerous anger.
I’ve dug myself a deep hole this time.
The bell rings, signaling students that school is over. With that Toya leaves his classroom with shaky feet to meet with An and Akito.
When he gets there, he can see the concern for him in their eyes. Is his fear that obvious?
“Hey Toya…you ok?” An asked, still trying to appear like her usual self instead of filled with worry, while Akito just worriedly stared at him.
“Let’s just go to practice please.” Toya let out much harsher than intended.
The whole walk there, Toya was out of it. He didn’t even notice Akito and An’s worried glances staring him down, nor their whispering. It was like everything around him faded into obscurity as his body continued without him.
They all made their way to WEEKEND GARAGE, Kohane already there at the cafe. Everything went as usual. They set up for practice, warmed up, and were going through their songs and rehearsing them.
Except Toya kept getting messages from their father. Messages that left a deeper pit in their stomach, leaving them nauseous. They were fumbling over their parts, barely able to breathe from how much their chest was closing in.
The dread grew, digging a hole into their mind.
“Toya! C’mon you had this down packed yesterday! The hell happened?” An whined.
“…Sorry.” Toya mumbled, seemingly scared to speak, “I’ll fix it.”
Except they didn’t. They really tried to focus, but everything felt like it was closing in on them and the pressure made it practically impossible for them to sing. They just kept messing up parts and having to apologize to An, honestly it was a little too much like his childhood for comfort, which wasn’t helping his already panicked state.
“Toya!! Dude c’mon!” An groaned, “This is like the fifth time we’ve tried to rehearse this pa-“
“Leave them alone for a second. Goddamn.” Akito complained.
“Well I’m sorry for just trying to make sure we’re ready for our next live…” An angrily muttered.
“An, I know you fucking see Toya right now! Look at them! They need a break from you barking complaints at them for fucks sake!” Akito roared.
Their argument spiraled into yelling back and forth, making Toya feel even more on edge. Their chest felt so tight like it was a rubber band about to snap.
Then. A ringtone.
Toya’s ringtone.
He felt his heart sink as he read the contact name.
His father.
The dread that had been creeping into his brain shot through his whole body, making him feel like he was gonna puke from sheer fear.
Toya just walked off and panickedly answered the call.
“Y-yes?…” Toya shakily breathed out, dread starting to fill his lungs.
“Come home.” The cold voice on the other line responded.
“O-ok I’ll just come after practi-“
“No Toya, You come home. Now. Things will be much worse for you if you don’t.”
A Click came from the other line just as Toya was about to respond.
Oh no.
Dread had filled them. Their mind was spinning, Air was getting caught in their throat, they felt like they were going to puke any minute now. They were fucking trembling.
“Toya?…”
No…
Nononononono
Everything was getting so far away, all Toya could hear was his own heart absolutely fucking pounding. He couldn’t even hear his partner rushing to crouch in front of him trying to figure out what’s wrong. Hell, he didn’t even realize he was curled up like a ball on the floor.
Please no
Please please pleasepleasepleaseplease
“Breathe Toya,” could be faintly heard during his panic attack.
No wait I have to go…I have to go or he’ll hurt me more…shit.
Toya, in a panicked haze, just ran to his house, ignoring his group members calling out to him. He could feel his body absolutely trembling as he ran, so much to the point he almost fell a couple times.
As he made it to the door, Harumichi opened it and dragged him in by the collar, immediately throwing him to the floor, the cold, tense atmosphere of the house absolutely consuming him now.
Fucknonononono
Nonononopleasepleaseplease-
Please. Please don’t hurt me again.
But before Toya could react,
Contact.
Itllbeoversoon, itllbeoversoon, itllbeoversoon-
Their head was absolutely aching.
Its fine its fine its fine just dont say anything please god dont say anything-
Crimson had started to slightly leak from the boy’s head.
Please…
Please just stop…
Please.
Almost as if someone heard Toya’s prayers, Harumichi noticed the blood and stopped, picked up their head, and hissed,
“Next time you defy me Toya, I can guarantee I won’t be as merciful.”
Toya wanted to scream. They wanted to cry out for help, literally anything. They wanted to cry, and cry, and cry, but they stayed silent, paranoid that any noises they made would just piss him off more.
Toya pushed Harumichi away and ran up the stairs to his room as if he was in a fucking marathon, locking his door behind him as if he was being chased by a monster.
Which. Yeah he practically was.
That’s when everything clicked.
I’m bleeding. He…he made me bleed.
He’s never gone that far…
Toya grabbed a huge duffel bag and anything he found to be worthy and stuffed it inside.
There’s no way I can stay here anymore. I need to get somewhere safer.
“Toya, Open the door.” His father barked.
Shitshitshit- where do I go? Fuck-
“Toya. Open the goddamn door!” Harumichi switched to yelling rather quickly, making Toya panic even fucking more. Tears were finally starting to fall down his face as he felt completely cornered.
Can’t jump out the window…can’t open the door…can’t hide…wait.
Toya hurriedly opened his phone to his playlist as his father banged and shouted at the door.
“TOYA AOYAGI!!!”
Those were the last words he heard from his father as the colorful triangles enveloped him, bringing him to the outside of the warmly lit Crase Cafe.
The contrast from the tension from his house mere minutes ago to the soft, warm feeling he felt as he just looked at the cafe with glassy eyes, not even noticing the virtual singers rushing over to him, was enough to break the dam of sobs Toya was keeping up for his own safety.
He was safe.
He can’t get him here.
I’m…I’m gonna be ok now…
||🥞||
No Toya at the school gate,
No Toya in their classes,
No Toya at lunch,
The fuck’s going on?! Akito yelled in his mind.
He had been texting and calling Toya for hours, no response. At this point, he didn’t even want to eat in fear he would just puke it all up later.
Would it kill him to let me know he’s fucking alive?!
Akito sighed as he drank from his water bottle, sitting on one of the rooftop benches.
He thought that maybe he was just overreacting. They were probably fine. There was probably a reasonable explanation for all of this. It’s ok. Toya’s ok…right?
But…what if he’s not?
Akito’s stomach turned at the thought, his mind now wandering to the worst possible outcomes.
He just opened his phone, calling Toya again.
A quiet ring…
Then another…
…And another…
And…voicemail.
He already left a couple, but now he was getting desperate. He could feel his shaking grip on his phone. All he wanted right now was for Toya to be ok.
“Hey…you’re really worrying me y’know?…”
He hated how his voice cracked as he spoke, but continued anyway.
“Listen…I…I don’t even fucking know what happened. A-And I honestly…don’t know if you even have your phone. I don’t know if you’re just ignoring me o-or you just have a bunch of shit going on but…please fucking call me when you can. Please. I’m…Toya I’m fucking scared.”
He paused for a minute, trying to keep his tears from streaming down his face.
“I…I love you. I love you so much…so please be ok…”
He clicked on the hang up button, slouching on the bench until he was laying down on it and facing the sky, shirt becoming stained by the streams now freely flowing down the boy’s face.
Please be ok Toya.
||🎤||
That day was like no other for the virtual singers. They all were chatting in the cafe, while Meiko was cleaning dishes from the other night.
But then the day took a turn.
“Guys…Is that Toya?” Len asked as he pointed at the window, voice weary.
“Hm?” Meiko turned, noticing him just on his knees outside. Odd, and a little concerning for Toya.
“Oh it is…wait.” She trailed off as she put down the glass she was cleaning.
Is that blood on his head?
Meiko rushed out of the cafe without a word, the other virtual singers following suit.
“Toya?!” She yelled as she grabbed his hand and took a look at the wound on his head. There wasn’t a severe amount of blood there, but it was definitely hit badly.
Not terrible, but still needs to be treated.
Everyone just watched in horror as Meiko brought him inside and sat him down on a couch, trying to get him to respond to her so she could get a good idea of what happened, to no avail. It was like he was too out of it to hear her.
For now she dropped the subject of what happened and just focused on treating the wound and grounding Toya.
After disinfecting the wound and wrapping it in gauze, she handed Toya some cold water, hoping the chill of it would bring him back to reality a bit. They took the cup with trembling hands, (Meiko immediately noticed and used one of her hands to make sure he wouldn’t spill it with how much they were shaking) and slowly took small sips from the cup.
“Toya?” Meiko gently said, barely audible to anyone but Toya, “Listen, let’s try and calm down. How about you try to breathe with me ok?”
They followed, trying their best to match their shakey, frantic breathing to Meiko’s calm, slow breathing.
“Good, see you’re even shaking less now. I’m proud of you.” Meiko murmured with a gentle smile.
“Now, do you feel like you can tell us what happened? It’s ok if not.”
They just sat there in silence for a moment, seemingly too overwhelmed by whatever had occurred to speak. They instead just shook their head as an answer.
“Alright, well how about you just sit here on the couch and relax? Stay as long as you need.”
Toya just stared before laying down on the couch and closing his eyes.
“Would you get him a blanket and pillow for me, dear?” Meiko softly spoke.
Kaito just hummed and ran off, coming back with a blanket and pillow in hand.
Meiko draped the blanket over the boy, and gently picked their head up to put the pillow underneath.
Meiko watched as they drifted off to sleep, facial expression going from tensed to relaxed and peaceful.
Rest well Toya, you deserve it.
||🐹🎧🥞||
“He has to be somewhere!” An yelled.
Akito just sat there in silence as Kohane tried to remind An about the customers trying to peacefully eat.
Although she couldn’t really calm down. None of them could, it had been 3 days and absolutely nobody had heard anything from Toya. Not a text, call, nobody’s seen him either.
“Where haven’t we checked?” An sighed, trying to stop herself from yelling. Truth is, she wanted to scream. She was scared, for her friend who was missing but also his boyfriend who sat across from her, just staring down at the floor without even taking a bite of his favorite pancakes.
Silence fell upon the room once again, until Kohane beamed as if a lightbulb just went off in her head.
“Ready Steady! Y’know…”
Akito looked at her as if she just bought all the cheesecake and pancakes in the world for him.
“Shit, you’re right! I didn’t even think to check there.”
“Well? What are we waiting around for?!” An laughed.
The three ran off to An’s house, all with a newfound hope.
Akito had a warm smile for the first time in a couple days.
They finally made it to her doorstep, she unlocked the door and led the other two to her room and shut the door behind them.
She already had her phone out in front of her, scrolling in her playlist to Ready Steady.
“You guys ready?”
The other two nodded, determined.
An pressed play.
All that was heard was the start of the song echoing through An’s room.
Nothing else happened.
An couldn’t help but think one thing,
Shit.
She saw as the other two’s thoughts were going a million miles per hour, trying to understand what was going on, just like her.
“Why didn’t it?…” Akito trailed off, for once the two thought he was actually going to start crying. The way he looked like all of his hope and dreams just got completely shattered was so heart wrenching, and wrong. It felt so wrong to see him hurt like that.
“That’s… not good…” An nervously chuckled, trying to do absolutely anything to relieve the tension that was suffocating the three.
The three sat in silence, all of their similar thoughts racing through their heads.
What fucking now?
Why can’t we get in?! Did something happen to Toya so now it’s locking us out?
Where is Toya if not in the sekai?…
Akito got up and ran out, he couldn’t take the silence anymore. It was getting unbelievably suffocating for him to think.
“Akito?!” An called out, he didn’t hear her. He just wanted to go home. That’s it.
His heart ached. He couldn’t take this shit much longer.
Just take me away from all of this bullshit already.
||🌟||
At first, Tsukasa didn’t think anything of Toya’s absence. They were probably fine, maybe just sick or tired!
But, one day without them turned into two, then three.
In all honesty, he was a goddamn mess. He hasn’t been able to focus on anything cause of his worry for Toya, who he basically considered to be a little sibling. Losing them would be like losing Saki.
He tried asking Akito, knowing the two were practically conjoined, but he didn’t know where they were. If Akito doesn’t know, nobody does.
Nobody…does…
What if-
“Tsukasa?” Rui called out to the blonde, seemingly as if they had been repeatedly calling him.
“Ah- sorry, yes Rui?” He was trying so hard to not let the mask fall. He didn’t want anyone to know how messed up he had been over all this.
Rui saw through that though, “I think you should take a break.”
Tsukasa wanted to come up with excuses, he wanted to say that he didn’t need a break, that a star like him is completely fine! However his mouth betrayed him as he said absolutely nothing and just continued to sit with his thoughts as the others continued to rehearse their parts.
Please, don’t let me lose part of my family. I just want us to have peace. Just this once, please.
||🎹🌟||
“Hey Kasa!” Saki cheered as her brother walked through the door, “How was-“
She was cut off by a practically suffocating hug.
“Woah! What’s the bone breaking hug for?” She asked with a laugh, to which she got no response.
Well, almost no response.
She felt her shirt start to soak, and heard quiet whimpers.
Oh?
Slowly wrapping her arms around her brother, she wondered when was the last time he cried. He never cries. He’s always smiling, so whatever it is that has him so broken up must be bad.
Meaning she would do anything if it means making her brother feel better. He did that for her for years, and still does. It’s the least she could do.
“Do I need to fight someone? I know how to use a frying pan very well. In fact, I bet I could knock them out!”
“Toya…”
“What about him? Don’t tell me he said some-“
“Saki. Please just listen to me carefully.” He sternly said, cutting her off.
“Ok?…” Saki replied, voice slightly wavering.
“Toya…” Tsukasa paused.
“Toya?”
“He’s…” The cracking in his voice became apparent.
“He’s missing Saki. H-he’s been missing for three days now.”
She could feel her heart drop to the floor, as if it was ripped out of her and thrown.
“W-what?!…Where is he?!” She choked.
“I don’t…I have no idea.”
“Did you ask-“
“Saki, I asked everyone he knows. I asked Akito first, and even he has no clue where they are. I…I don’t know where they are.” Tsukasa let the last part out with a broken sob.
She felt herself start to shake.
“You’re…you’re lying!” She sobbed, “Y-you have to be!”
“Saki, why would I lie about something like this?!”
“You…wouldn’t…but I just…” She trailed off into sobs.
Saki’s legs became shaky, and snapped beneath her like toothpicks, leaving her sobbing on her knees. Tsukasa came down and pulled her close, sobbing with her.
“P-please don’t tell me they’re…please don’t…” Saki muttered into her brother's chest.
The two sat there and cried for hours, holding each other close. A piece of them was missing, and they had no clue as to where that piece was, it was like they lost a piece of a puzzle.
No…this…no! Please tell me it isn’t real. Please!
||☕️||
Far away.
Everything feels so far away.
Please.
Just stop.
I just want to hide.
||🥞🌟||
Akito doesn’t know how he made it through the day without puking, nor how he even made it through the day.
Being at school without Toya makes everything feel so…empty. It left him with a heart that felt like it had been stabbed and run over several times. He felt so numb all throughout his body but at the same time was enveloped in emotional pain.
He was dragging himself through the halls. Everything was loud, bright, and he felt he was seconds away from crying again.
“You get like that a lot?”
“Yes, it’s hard to deal with, but I usually put on headphones to relieve myself to some degree.”
Akito slid his headphones on, playing gentle music in his ears.
Well, he wasn’t wrong when he said it helps.
The thought of him and that conversation didn’t help Akito’s aching heart though.
He found himself walking up to the roof instead of to his next class, and was met by a certain blonde.
“Tsukasa?…”
The boy stared at him with wide, watery eyes.
He quickly wiped his face with the sleeve of his yellow cardigan, replying with, “Ah, Akito! I didn’t…expect to see you here.” His voice was hollow, lacking its usual excitement and volume. Even his body was less confident than usual, the blonde currently curled up with his knees to his chest.
Akito had always just prayed that Tsukasa would shut up whenever he was around him, but now that he was actually quieter, it felt so unsettling to him, and so upsetting to see.
“You don’t gotta lie to me man, I can tell you’ve been crying.”
“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about!” Tsukasa’s voice cracked as he tried to force a laugh out, arm still covering his eyes.
Akito walked over and sat next to him, gently grabbing his arm and setting it down, once again revealing his teary eyes.
He never thought he’d actually feel…bad for Tsukasa. Like really bad. His heart hurt just looking at him.
The two sat there, only audible sound being Tsukasa’s occasional sniffling.
“…Please act like you didn’t see me.” Tsukasa muttered, “If Rui or Nene ask where I am, please just say you didn’t see me…I don’t want them to see me like this. ”
“Y’know…it’s not a crime if you’re not ok. It’s completely ok to cry.”
Tsukasa spun around to look at him, staring as if he just said to blow up the school.
“I get it…you probably feel weak or something when you cry. But…it’s better to let it out y’know? Plus, you’re literally dating Kamishiro and Kusanagi. I doubt they would say anything bad about you if you asked for help. If anything, they’re probably hoping you would because they want to help you. Same goes for Otori.”
Tsukasa just turned to look down at the ground, starting to fiddle with his hands.
“Are…are you sure?”
“Dude, they’re your partners, and I can tell they care about you and each other. Trust me, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you asked them for help.”
Tsukasa continued to look at the ground.
“Maybe…it would be easier if you talked to someone you didn’t know as well, like me.”
Tsukasa hummed, “Yeah…maybe.” He turned to Akito, now looking him in the eye. “Besides, you can…probably relate.”
Akito immediately knew what he meant, and now what this was all about.
His chest tightened.
Tsukasa started, “It just…doesn’t feel real. It feels like one big nightmare.”
Akito nodded in agreement.
“I mean, he’s been like a little brother to me and Saki since…well actually, more like our entire lives. He was like the third Tenma, or our long lost sibling we never knew we had. Hell, we called our guest bedroom their room.” He ended with an empty chuckle, “Just…for them to just suddenly disappear…it feels like-“
“A part of you is missing.” Akito's voice cracked as he muttered.
Tsukasa stared at Akito sympathetically for a moment, before responding with, “Yeah…exactly like that.”
“You’re probably hurting even more than I am. I know how much Toya means to you, so all this must…hurt…to say the least”
Akito just nodded.
“It hurts a lot.”
Tsukasa looked at the ginger in concern as he watched his eyes water.
The two sat in a comfortable silence, that was occasionally broken by each other’s quiet cries, until the bell to go to their next period rang.
“Alright…we should probably head back now.” Akito muttered, voice a bit hoarse from crying.
Tsukasa nodded, “If you ever need anything I’m here, also…thanks for today.”
“Of course, same goes for you too.”
They both shot each other a warm smile before heading off to their respective classes.
They shared a mutual thought as they parted ways,
At least I’m not the only one.
||🎤||
Things in the sekai started to change once Toya arrived.
First off, none of the virtual singers could make their way to the other’s phones, and they were assuming they couldn’t get into the sekai either. Plus the area had gotten foggy, making everything hard to make out. Ready Steady still continued to play as it normally sounded in the background though, which is a good sign. That means Toya still shares feelings with the rest of the group.
Those were only the noticeable things though. There was probably more out there that they couldn’t even find because of the thick fog.
“What should we do?” Kaito whispered to Meiko, “The kid looks like a mess.”
“Give him distance for now, dear. I doubt he’s ready to talk about anything.” Meiko responded as she glanced at the boy with glassy eyes, who stared at the table they sat at as if it was transparent. She then turned to the seemingly endless fog outside.
“Well…shouldn’t he eat at least? They haven’t been touching any of the food we give them.”
Meiko hummed, “You’re right, but still. I don’t think bothering them ‘till they eat is a good idea either. Just go and gently remind them they need to eat for me ok?”
Kaito nodded and made his way over to Toya, softly speaking to them.
Meiko isn’t sure what happened, but based on what everyone knows about Toya’s relationship with their father, there’s no doubt that at the very least, some of this has to do with him.
||🎹||
Saki misclicked a key, again.
“Saki?…” Ichika mumbled.
“Sorry, I’ll just…” She looked down at her trembling hands, “let’s just run that part again.”
“You sure?” Shiho questioned, just as worried as everyone else, “We can take a break y’know.”
Saki merely nodded in response, worried she’d begin to cry if she spoke.
Shiho sighed, before starting the group over.
The music started again, and Saki couldn’t play. It was like her fingers froze. She just stared at the piano, and could feel tears welling up in her eyes as her chest tightened. All her instrument could do was remind her of her now missing part of her family.
She didn’t even notice that the rest of the band had stopped playing, nor her partners calling out to her. She could only feel her trembling body falling to the floor, her tightened chest, and the now freely flowing tears running down her cheeks.
I…I can’t do this.
||🥞||
Akito’s room was dim, lit only by the moonlight shining through the window.
Akito was on his bed, laying on his side with his knees held against his chest.
It was quiet, so much so that the silence was piercing his ears. It got to the point that Akito reached for his phone and plugged his ears with his earbuds.
As he scrolled through his playlist his eyes landed on…
Aun no Beats. Me and Toya’s cover of Aun no Beats.
Just reading the name alone in his playlist made tears start to well up in his eyes.
So much for that promise.
Although he knew it was a bad idea, he played the song anyway.
Minna dokka icchatta yo. (Everyone has gone somewhere and became nothing.)
God here we go.
Akito let the song resonate with him, taking him off into a world where nothing mattered besides the way Toya’s voice rang in his ears.
Things hurt. So many things did. Toya means the world and more to Akito. To think he would never see their light smile again, or their beautiful airy laugh, or their powerful vocals on stage, or never get to hold them in his arms again, or give them a light kiss, or-
Fuck. Just…fuck.
As he listened to the lyrics, it was like every emotion he had was bubbling to the surface and boiling over like a pot. He was sobbing, choking on his tears, he wailed as if someone was ripping his heart out, which at this point it was like it had been ripped out.
He had no idea how much longer he could take this fucking heartache before he just completely falls apart.
God it hurts so bad, being without you.
||☕️||
Toya thought to themself as they read their mystery book, which was about a detective trying to figure out who was to blame for a murder during a ball.
Although their mind started to wander.
Should I have run home faster? Should I have just tried to be obedient? Should I have just not pursued street music at all?
But…then I wouldn’t be happy. I’d basically just be a walking trophy for him to show off.
It isn’t my fault for wanting to be happy…right?
Or maybe I didn’t deserve that?…Do I even deserve any of the things that make me happy?
Maybe…
Maybe it is my fault.
Maybe I deserve all this somehow.
But then that just raises the question…
What the fuck did I do to deserve it?!
Am I losing my mind?…
Toya sat there and wondered if the detective in their story was feeling similar to how they were, confused on who’s to blame, and scared of the truth.
The detective had two suspects, his close friend, and a random guest at the ball.
Both had pieces of evidence against them, and the group was torn on who was the suspect.
Now, the detective is questioning the two.
Toya continued to read, but both him and the detective noticed something about the suspect's testimony.
He somehow knew the exact time of death, despite no one else having any clue.
Then it all became clear.
He physically abused me for having dreams…nobody else has done that to me. Nobody has treated me as horribly as he has.
I didn’t deserve that, or any of what he’s done to me.
It isn’t my fault for wanting to be happy.
Toya calmly looked out into the now slightly dissipated fog.
No more blaming myself for shit that wasn't my fault.
||🎧||
It was late hours in the night, when Weekend Garage didn’t get any customers. The only sounds inhabiting the cafe were An Shiraishi wiping down tables, and Ken Shiraishi washing dishes.
The Shiraishi’s have always been close, so it didn’t take long for Ken to notice An’s frantic cleaning and fidgeting.
The man knew about Toya. How could he not? He, Akito, and Kohane were all regulars at the cafe, especially since they came together with An to form Vivid BAD SQUAD. Of course he would notice if one of them suddenly went missing, right after running out of the cafe in a hurry the night before, and of course he would notice his boyfriend soon joining him, who hasn’t been seen in the cafe for a couple of days. The days he was present, he was seen picking at his pancakes like a bird, completely silent and empty-looking. As if he lost a part of him, and considering how much Toya meant to Akito and vice versa, he might as well have.
He was tired of asking people to look out for Toya, only to have to disappoint the kids whenever they asked. Hell, he was worried about him too. For all he knew his asshole father did something to him, which made him shudder. He has no fucking clue why that man is so hard on the boy, nor can even imagine why he thought physically abusing him was a good idea.
Ken decided to take a shot at this, maybe he could do something . Anything’s better than giving An another, “nobody’s seen him.”
“Hey kiddo.”
An shot up to look at her father, “Yeah Dad?”
Ken motioned with his finger, “C’mere for a sec.”
An paused, as if taking a moment to process what her father just said, before suddenly running over to a seat at the bar.
“You’re worried.” Ken purposely phrased it like a statement instead of a question, because honestly the question didn’t even need asking.
She ran her finger against the rim of the glass on the counter, head down.
“Dad…I’m scared.”
“Of what?”
An whimpered a bit, before continuing, “I’m scared Vivid BAD SQUAD will have to break up forever. I mean you’ve seen Akito. He’s a wreck, and refuses to perform without Toya. I can’t just make the guy appear out of thin air and fix all this!” She let her head fall to the counter, pushing the cup she had been messing with away.
“I just…I don’t wanna see everyone like this. I don’t wanna see the absolutely fucking crushed look on Akito’s face whenever I look at him anymore, I don’t wanna see my girlfriend filled with worry, I dont want to see the two goofballs at my school taking a break from their antics because one of them is too depressed to even fuck around! I don’t wanna feel like this Dad! I don’t wanna feel so worried for my friend!” Her voice started to waver.
“Just…I just want Toya to be ok. That’s all I want anymore.” An could feel tears running down her face as she finally let her feelings go, hands tugging at the strands in her hair.
Ken came around the counter to hug An.
This is affecting her way more than I could’ve ever imagined… He felt his chest tighten at that thought.
“Look kid, I completely understand. I’m just as worried as you are, and it sucks that all we can do is wait. But, if you ever need to let stuff out like this? Know I’m here, m’kay?”
An slowly nodded in her dad’s chest.
Goddamn kid, please just show up somewhere already. Anywhere.
||🤖🎈🌟🍬||
Tsukasa was on stage, the other members of Wonderlands X Showtime watching him.
Although, they had been stuck on the same scene because the blonde in question was tripping over his lines and acting, voice shaky and body trembling.
The three stared at their boyfriend with worry-ridden faces. They all shared this glance, which said: We should check on him.
“Tsu-Tsu?” Emu whined, walking up to kneel down in front of her boyfriend onstage, “Y’know, we’re here for you right?” She spoke softly, a stark contrast to her normal loud and bubbly tone.
Tsukasa just weakly hummed in response, legs now criss-crossed on the floor of the stage as he ran his fingers through his hair. He gave up on trying to mask in front of them, he knew they all saw through it. At this point, anyone could see through him with how much of a train wreck he was.
Rui and Nene followed Emu’s path onto the stage, Rui taking the left side of Tsukasa and bringing him into a hug, while Nene took the right side and held Tsukasa’s hand.
“Can I…maybe…” Tsukasa paused.
“Maybe?” Rui hummed.
“Just talk about it?…”
“Of course Tsu-Tsu, whatever you need to do to cope with it.” Nene insisted.
“I just…all of this hurts. So much. It feels like no matter what I do my family somehow gets torn apart.” Tsukasa’s voice began to crack, tears welling up in his eyes. “It’s like no matter how hard I t-try to keep everything…fucking together it just…j-just…”
His voice eventually just devolved into quiet sobs, which were muffled by all of his partners hugging him.
“It’ll be alright, ok? You’ll make it through all this, I guarantee you. You’re our star after all.” Rui purred.
“Although we can’t bring Toya to you…we can try and comfort you as much as we can! We wanna make sure you feel wonderhoy!” Emu let out a bittersweet giggle.
“We love you, and we’re proud of you for coming to us.” Nene smiled at Tsukasa, despite his broken expression staring at them. They wiped away his tears, highlighting the freckles dusted on his face.
Tsukasa smiled before mumbling, “I love you guys too…”
Maybe it won’t be as bad with them.
||🥞||
Seven fucking days.
Akito thought he was losing his mind, or at least that’s what it felt like. He has no fucking clue what happened to Toya, and It’s made him so sick he decided to stay home today, scared that he’ll puke if he even tries to get up and walk. Everyday felt so unbelievably long and all of the days were just blending together at this point because of how similar they were.
With every new possible thought he had about what could’ve happened to his boyfriend, the more he felt like he was gonna puke, and the more he felt like crying.
Hell, he already cried. A lot. At this point, for all he knew, Toya was dead.
Oh. Dead. That’s a new outcome he didn’t think of.
Fuck…what if?…
Now countless outcomes of Toya dying were flashing through his mind, and each one accompanied the vivid image of Toya’s lifeless body.
Nausea took over as he ran to the bathroom.
Please don’t take them. Don’t take the one I love…please.
||🎨🎀||
“Hey Enanan~” Mizuki called out from Ena’s computer, more like a whine.
Ena sighed before responding to her partner, with a fake annoyed sounding, “Yes Mizu?”
“Could you maybe…”
Mizuki trailed off at the sound of faint crying. They knew Ena and Akito’s rooms were next to each other, and they also knew that Toya had just kinda disappeared without a trace, which surely wasn’t good for the one person who loved him more than seemingly anything in this world.
“Uh…is everything good over there?”
Ena just stared back at her wall. She knew what was going on with Toya, and she also knew it was absolutely tearing her brother apart. He’d been locked in his room whenever he came home from school, barely coming out to eat or anything, now here he was, staying home from school.
“To be honest…I don’t even know. He hasn’t said anything to me.”
Mizuki just softly hummed in response. They feel their chest tightened as he could hear him cry, over and over. He sounded like his heart was being ripped out.
Ena wasn’t sure if anything she could say could help, and she hated that fact. The only thing that would probably fix this is bringing Toya to him. Thing is if Akito doesn’t fucking know where he is, aka: the one person who clings to him like a lifeline, then who the fuck does?
She would be lying if she said she wasn’t worried. Not just for Akito but also for Toya. She doesn’t know the exact details, but she has heard Toya softly crying in their doorway while holding Akito, muttering something about their father.
“Hey, Mizu.”
“Mhm? Yeah Enanan?”
“Be right back, m’kay?”
“Alright, don’t die!”
Ena just huffed in amusement before grabbing a plate of cheesecake from downstairs.
Akito and Ena didn’t really have a lot in common, but one thing they could both agree on was cheesecake.
She lightly knocked on his door, “Hey. It’s me.”
Still nothing but muffled sobs.
“Listen…I know this shit’s hard for you. I know how much Toya means to you, and although I don’t know how to bring them back…I do know how to give you cheesecake? If that even helps-“ She emptily giggled a bit as she spoke, “-but in all seriousness, I’m here if you need me.”
She paused a bit before saying, “I love you Akito…please take care of yourself. Also, don’t go giving up on me alright? Keep being a stubborn bitch for me.”
As she walked away, her ears could faintly pick up on the sobs fading. All she could do was hope that all of this would work out, and that her and Akito could go back to their usual arguments, that his sarcasm and bite would come back, that he would come back.
Literally at this point all Ena wanted was for Akito to call her a bitch or something. All of this felt so unnatural, him being depressed like this.
I know how much you mean to him Toya, so please, just come back so I don’t have to see my little brother hurt anymore.
||🥞||
Akito slightly opened the door, shakily grabbing the plate of cheesecake Ena set down for him.
“I love you Akito…please take care of yourself.”
When was the last time either of them said that?…
“I love you Aki!”
“I love you too Enanan!”
Elementary.
So it’s been a while , he thought as he took small bites of the cheesecake, not trying to eat too much considering he just threw up.
But she cares. No other reason she would say that right?
That thought brought the first smile to his pained, tear-stained face in a couple days. He thought, maybe, just maybe, there was still hope for their strained relationship.
“Also, don’t go giving up on me alright? Keep being a stubborn bitch for me.”
He paused for a second thinking about his sister’s words.
He eyed his phone.
I could try one more time.
He went to his playlist, then paused.
He continued, now going to call An.
It couldn’t hurt to have them try with me.
Besides, I need to make sure they don’t give up either .
||🐹🎧🥞||
“So…you wanna try the sekai again?” An asked as the three of them were sitting on the floor of Akito’s room.
“Yeah.” Akito stated with determination.
“I mean…we tried so many times already. What makes you think this time will be any different?…” Kohane muttered.
Akito’s grip on his arms tightened. He doesn’t really know what to expect, in fact he doesn’t really expect anything to happen.
“I don’t really think this time will be any different, but I still want to try.” He mumbled as he stared intently at Kohane.
“So? You guys with me?”
The other two looked at each other for a moment, then back at Akito, nodding as they went to pull out their phones.
They were all on Ready Steady, ready to press play.
“Alright…” Akito breathed, “on the count of three.”
“One…”
“Two…”
“Three.”
Akito was ready to be disappointed again. Honestly he thought he could handle it this time, he’s practically accepted that Toya might be gone forever.
However his expectations were exceeded.
||🎤||
Meiko was once again washing dishes, humming On the Rocks to herself.
The tiny bell on the door to Crase Cafe rang, revealing Len.
“Hey Meiko! Can I get a coffee? Black.” The boy said as he hopped onto the stool in front of the bar counter.
“You sure you want black? I know how much you like things sweet.” Meiko teased.
“I can handle it!” Len grumped.
“If you say so…” Meiko chuckled, before calling out, “Toya, can you get the extra coffee sweetener from the back for me?”
“Meiko!!!” Len whined.
“Sure, I think you’ll need it anyway.” Toya smiled, a hint of mischief in his voice.
Len let his head fall onto the counter as he sighed, “Not you too…”
Meiko found herself looking out the window again. The fog had almost completely cleared at this point, and things were brightening up back to how they previously were. She felt her lips curl up into a small smile at the sight.
As she stared out, someone entered the sekai.
Wait.
Someone entered the sekai?!
As she looked out at the dissipating, colorful triangles, her eyes met with bright orange hair.
She walked towards the door, opening it for the boy before he could make his way over.
“Well, this is quite the surprise.” Meiko said as she smiled.
“Oh my god, it actually…wait where’s!-“
Before he could ask his question, the boy he was wondering about appeared right behind Meiko.
“Akito?”
||🥞☕️||
Blood pumping, heart racing, tears of joy threatening to fall, and an impossible to prevent smile.
Those were all things Akito felt the moment he saw Toya.
“Akito?” They called out, seemingly in disbelief but with a warm smile of their own. God, Akito missed that smile.
The ginger couldn’t stop himself from tackling the blue-haired boy, wailing in the process.
Toya couldn’t handle the sheer force of his boyfriend, sending them both tumbling to the ground.
“Akito! Are you-“
The boy in question started to break into laughter through his sobs, maintaining his death grip on Toya.
Then blinked, now noticing the patch on his forehead, and screamed, “WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” Which made Toya flinch.
“Shitshitshit- Sorry I just…I’m…I dont know.” He stuttered.
“Ok. Well…that’s a way to start a conversation.” Toya muttered as they giggled a bit.
Akito sighed in relief, Note to self: don’t yell.
“How about we sit and talk?” Meiko suggested.
The three walked over to the bar, the boys sitting down on the stools and Meiko standing behind the counter, making Akito’s usual order.
Toya noticed Akito held onto his hand tightly.
Now that Toya got a good look at Akito, he noticed his eye bags that looked like some invisible guy was yanking down on his puffy eyes, his hair was unkempt, and you could see several tear stains on his cheeks.
“Are you…ok?”
Akito sighed and paused, contemplating whether he should tell Toya the truth or not.
Then, remembering the advice he gave Tsukasa, continued.
“Honestly? Not at all. I was a fucking wreck like fifteen minutes ago.”
Toya opened his mouth to say something, before deciding against it and just giving his boyfriend a hug.
The second Toya touched him, Akito felt electricity all over him. Akito melted into the hug, and relished every second of it. He could feel his heart beating out of his chest, and couldn’t stop his lips from curling up into a huge smile. He probably looked like an idiot, but he honestly didn’t give a shit. He’s absolutely fucking estatic. The fact that he’s getting something he thought he would never be able to get ever again in his lifetime is fucking amazing.
Then he remembered.
“Wait. Where’s An and Kohane? They were trying to get into the sekai with me…also what the fuck happened to you Toya?! Also, also, why was it foggy out there? Also-“
“Slow down, Aki.” Toya chuckled, to which Akito felt his heart skip a beat, apparently he didn’t realize how much he missed Toya, “We’ll explain everything.”
“As to why the sekai was foggy, and why you couldn’t get in at first, it was reflecting Toya’s mental state.” Meiko continued, “They were heavily dissociating and mentally shutdown, so the sekai reflected that. We couldn’t get to any of your phones, and Toya couldn’t text or call anyone. The sekai completely shut itself off from the real world, leaving us with no way out and you guys with no way in.”
“Well shit.” Akito muttered.
“As for what happened to cause that…” Meiko glanced at Toya, “I think they should just tell you.”
Toya nodded before continuing off of what Meiko said, explaining everything. Akito could feel heat bubbling in his chest, and it felt like everything went red.
“I’m gonna kill him.” He hissed.
“Well I can’t be with you if you’re in jail.”
“Fuck. You got a point.”
“…Can I at least punch him?”
“Aki, I love you, and I appreciate you wanting to beat the shit out of Harumichi, but seriously you will go to jail if you do.”
Akito stared at Toya for a second, wide-eyed.
…He called him Harumichi.
He skipped past it and continued with a smile, “Not even like one punch?” He teased.
“No.” Toya sighed, smiling.
I missed that smile.
“Sorry to interrupt, but where exactly do you plan to stay Toya? I doubt you could stay in the sekai forever.”
“I know exactly where.”
Akito looked at him, confused.
“Let’s pay the Tenma’s a visit.”
Toya grabbed his bag, Akito still gripping his hand, and bid Meiko goodbye.
“Thank you for everything Meiko.”
“Of course, Toya.” She shot them a warm smile as the two left.
I’m glad I could help you get back on your feet.
||🎧🐹🥞☕️||
Colorful triangles covered the pair, bringing them back to Akito’s room.
“Akito!” An shouted, “What the FUCK?!” She said as she slapped him on the back of the head.”
“Ow! What’s your problem?!”
“An…” Kohane muttered.
“Not now Koko, now, WHERE THE HELL WERE YOU?!”
“Where do you think, dipshit.”
“Why didn’t we go with you?!”
“An.”
“Not now! Seriously, did you purposely leave us out or something?! We thought something happened to you!”
“It’s not my fucking fault!”
“An!” Kohane grabbed her face and turned her towards Toya, who she somehow failed to notice.
“Jesus, what Koko-“
Her jaw dropped, then she screamed, “TOYA!!!”
Toya giggled, “Hey.”
An wailed, before pulling them into a bear hug. Kohane joined in as well.
An turned to Akito, “So that’s why you have that dopey grin.” She smirked.
“What? What fucking grin?!” Akito grumbled as he could feel his face heat up.
Toya just shot him a warm smile, “You haven’t stopped smiling since you saw me actually.”
Akito opened his mouth to say something, then closed it and looked away from the group, his posture slightly curving inward.
“Wait so…what happened?” Kohane asked.
Akito chimed in, “Harumichi is now on my hit list, I think that’s all you need to know.”
“Honestly, I thought he already was.” An chuckled.
“Oh yeah, but that was my fighting hit list. Now I have a killing hit list just for him.”
“That sounds stupid, but I’ll let it slide cause that bastard deserves it.”
“Well what will you do now?” Kohane asked, a hint of worry apparent in her voice.
“Don’t worry, I know someone. I’ll stay with them.”
“I’m sure they’ll be excited to see you.” Akito chuckled.
“Oh thank god, nobody wants you to go back to that hellhole. Anyways, I’m glad you’re back.” An smiled, Kohane nodding in agreement behind her.
“For now Vivid BAD SQUAD will take a break, but until we start back up again, rest up ‘kay? That goes for both of you.” The last part she said sternly, shooting a glance at Akito.
“Yeah, yeah. We’ll see you guys later.” Akito smiled.
Toya and Akito waved goodbye, before walking out.
As Akito could distantly be heard yelling, “I’m leaving,” to Ena, An couldn’t stop smiling.
Heh, maybe I’m a bit of a hypocrite.
But I’m glad they’re back. Both of them.
||🎹🌟☕️||
As the two walked, they fell back into their usual comfortable silence. Which Akito couldn’t be anymore grateful for.
“Seriously, I think this is the hardest and longest I have ever seen you smile.” Toya chuckled.
“Well, considering the fact that you had like…completely dipped off the face of the earth for a little while, I think it’s pretty reasonable that I’m smiling.”
“You haven’t let go of my hand since you grabbed it while we were in the sekai either.”
“Ok? And? What do you want me to let go?” Akito smirked.
“Of course not, I’m just saying.” Toya said, reflecting Akito’s smirk.
Akito laughed at that, “Yeah, yeah. Whatever.” He could feel the heat rising to his face.
They made their way to the Tenma residence, knocking on the door upon arrival.
Saki opened the door, at first with her eyes towards the ground. “Ye-“ She looked up to see Toya, who just gave her a small wave in response.
She just sat there and blinked for a moment, before rubbing her eyes and looking again.
“TOYA!!!” She shrieked as she grabbed them to pull them into a hug.
Tsukasa soon came rushing to the door, repeating the same process as Saki before hugging his siblings.
Akito let go of Toya’s hand for the first time that night, letting the Tenma’s have their moment with their sibling. He couldn’t stop his smile from widening at seeing how much joy could be stored in the blonde’s faces. They both had streams of joy pouring down all the way to their ever-so wide smiles.
They parted for a moment, only to start rapidly shooting questions at Toya.
“Ok, ok, slow down. I didn’t know you’d miss me so much.” Toya giggled. “I’ll explain everything, but first…I need a favor.”
“Of course! Anything!!” Both of the Tenma’s yelled simultaneously, which was a bit alarming to passerbys, but the regular for the neighborhood at this point.
“Can I…maybe…stay here? Like permanently.”
The Tenma’s paused, before sharing a glance at each other and turning back to Toya.
“I have a frying pan, Toya, and I will use it on your dad’s skull.” Saki threatened.
“I have a partner that knows how to make robots, who probably has commited arson or something, also a very excited pink girlfriend who will bother him forever, ALSO, another partner who can and will kick him in the balls.” Tsukasa challenged.
Akito chuckled a bit, “Yeah I’m down to fight that fucker. I wanna at least break a bone.”
“Guys please, I rather you all noy be stuck in jail. Nor injured by my dick of a dad.”
Saki sputtered, while Tsukasa just stared at Toya with a gaping mouth.
“Proud of ya. You not only cursed, but cursed at your dad. ” Akito snickered.
“Ah right! We should get you inside, c’mon!” Saki grunted as she lightly shoved Toya inside.
Tsukasa and Akito stood in front of the doorway, staring at each other with a smile. They both knew what the other was thinking: Thank god he’s back.
“Kasa! C’mon help me get Toya’s stuff in his room!” Saki yelled from upstairs.
“Coming!” With that, the blonde rushed up the stairs, leaving the ginger alone.
He went over and plopped on the couch, letting his body sink into it as he looked up to the ceiling.
Fucking hell, this has been a rollercoaster.
Akito felt his eyelids get heavy as the drowsiness from the past week caught up with him. His eyes started to flutter, before he eventually fell into a peaceful sleep for the first time in a while.
Little did he know his boyfriend has been watching him doze off.
Toya walked over, placing a soft kiss on Akito’s forehead, before sitting down next to him and leaning into the crook of his neck.
Goodnight my love, I’m glad you didn’t give up on me.
||🥞☕️||
Akito slowly woke up, processing the things around him. The bright light from the window was piercing his eyes, practically blinding him.
He groaned as he turned away from the light, meeting a pair of grey eyes.
“Good morning, you sleepyhead.” Toya had that slight smile that Akito had fallen in love with. Even though they still had that patch on their forehead, the way their hair fell on their face and the sunlight hit their skin made them look like an angel.
“So it wasn’t a dream…” Akito chuckled.
Toya gasped a little, “Aki? Why are you crying?” They had cupped Akito’s face in their hands, voice filled with concern.
Akito was just as shocked as Toya was. “I just…I think I’m just really glad I can be with you again.” He smiled as he grabbed Toya by the waist and pulled him in.
“You do realize it's like one o’clock right?”
“Goddamn, I really slept for that long?”
Toya laughed, Akito thought the sound of them laughing was absolutely heavenly, “Yes! You were fast asleep!”
“Oh by the way, Ena’s been blowing up your phone.”
“Shit.” Akito hissed as he reached for his phone, missing the warmth he felt while holding Toya.
Bitch: hey where’d u go?
dude
this isnt funny
seriously where are you???
akito you fuck please answer.
i dont need you going missing too.
There was message upon message after that, along with at least 13 calls, all from Ena.
Akito sighed, before typing a response. Better not make her worry anymore than she has to before she steals his cheesecake as revenge or some shit.
akihoe: im not dead
sorry just found toya and i fell asleep
ill buy you cheesecake to make up for it
i really didnt wanna scare you
Bitch: BRO IDC IF U BUY ME CHEESCAKE IM JUST GLAD UR ACTUALLY ALIVE
also wait a minute.
toya?
theyre ok???
akihoe: yeah, some shit happened but theyre staying w the tenmas now
god
this still feels like a dream
im just so fucking goad its all over now
Bitch: :)
im happy for u bro
stay w them as long as u want, i know how much u missed them
just lmk when ur coming home k
akihoe: got it
and thanks :)
love you
Bitch: love you too idiot
Heh.
Toya turned towards Akito, pulling him close.
“Oh? What’s this shit for?” Akito chuckled.
“I missed you too.” Toya mumbled.
Funny how Toya said such a simple phrase, so…simply, and yet it caused Akito’s face to feel like it was set alight.
Toya just smirked at Akito, who was desperately trying to cover his heated face with his arms.
“Not a word.”
“Aki, I wasn’t going to say anything.” The smirk widened.
“Sure you weren’t.”
“Really! I wasn’t. I swear.”
“Uh-huh, like I’m believing that bullshit.” Akito chuckled.
“Aw c’mon Aki,” Toya leaned in to kiss Akito, “will that make you believe me?”
Akito was barely able to sputter out: “Hell no.” To which Toya laughed.
The two stayed like that for a while, holding each other while talking with each other as if the rest of the world was no longer there, until they both fell back asleep.
||☕️||
Toya found themself in a black void, with nothing but a piano in front of them. They were playing a piece they recognized, as it was drilled into their head over and over again by their father. They attempted to pull their hands away from the instrument they dreaded, to no avail. It was like they had no control over their body, and were forced to watch their hands as they pressed on the piano keys.
A misclick
His voice rang throughout the void, and Toya could feel his presence behind them.
“Again.”
This cycle persisted, the voice becoming more loud and aggressive with each misclick. They could hear his steps, if they weren’t out of control of their body, they would most likely be trembling and crying.
Stop.
Steps.
Don’t hurt me.
Yelling.
Please…
Contact.
They jolted awake, chest tighter than a rubber band ready to snap, causing them to gasp for air. They were trembling, and holding onto themself like their life depended on it. Their mind was running in circles, constant circles.
Contact.
Toya flinched, and jolted away, fearful of the source of the sudden physical contact, only to be met with orange hair.
“Relax, Toya. It’s just me.” Akito was talking so gently, Toya would never admit how much he liked how he did that.
“…S-sorry-“ Toya was barely able to choke out,
“It’s alright. Just breathe, ok? Follow my lead.”
Akito held Toya’s hands, guiding him towards a more regulated state.
As he was finally calming down, he let his head fall onto Akito’s chest.
“Better now?”
“Mhm.”
“Good.”
The two fell into a comfortable silence, just as they often did. Neither of them ever minded said silence, it was time the two could spend simply basking in each other’s presence and warmth.
That’s all Toya really needed, that support that not only Akito, but so many other people gave him.
As long as he has them, everything will be ok.