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Its been three months since Eddie passed and the ‘earthquake’ took place. Things have slowly started to go back to normal, with school opening up again and shops re-opening. The only issue is that nothing feels like it’s going back to normal, at least in Dustin’s eyes.
The whole ordeal with Max and Vecna and Eddie has left him scared and lonely. He closed himself off from the others about a month after everything went down.
When he wasn’t needed for volunteering anymore, he just couldn’t bring himself to get out of the house.
His mother has shown serious amounts of concern but he continued to push her away, just like he was for everyone else.
The rest of the party has noticed Dustin’s change in behavior and desperately want him to go back to normal, but the longer it went on, the harder it was to imagine Dustin doing so.
They just want to make him happy.
But, it’s kinda hard to get someone happy and excited when they can hardly get out of bed.
—
Steve was positioned in his living room, holding a phone up to his ear.
It rang for what felt like forever, but was then met by the Hendersons’ voice mail for the third time.
He pushed the phone back onto the receiver, frustrated and concerned.
Dustin hasn’t spoken to anyone in the past three weeks. Almost four, actually.
He knows full well why Dustin has closed himself off, and doesn’t wanna push it, but can’t stand seeing him in so much pain. It makes him feel sick.
The night everything happened, Steve had to drag a scream-crying Dustin out of the upside down.
He was begging Steve to let him go, that they could still save Eddie, that Eddie was going to live, but eventually Dustin passed out in Steve’s arms from exhaustion.
He still remembers laying Dustin on his couch along with the rest of the kids. Well, almost.
The kid left various items behind like a flashlight and a pack of band-aids, and Steve had set them on his kitchen counter for when Dustin returned, but he never did.
The only time he saw him was when he was volunteering, and when that was restricted to just those eighteen or older, he never saw a glimpse of him.
After speaking with the others, it turns out they hadn’t seen him either, which flooded him with more worry.
Whenever he called he was either met by Mrs Henderson or their voice mail.
If Mrs Henderson ever picked up, she would say the same thing every time.
”I’m so sorry, Steve, but he just isn’t feeling up to it.”
Today, though, today he gave up on calling. He refused to continue being met by rejections or voice mails, and decided to visit Dustin himself.
For some reason, none of the party had tried contacting Dustin after their first few times being met by rejection.
But, Steve wasn’t gonna let one of his best friends cry in a bed for the rest of their life. He was gonna go see Dustin, whether the kid liked it or not.
—
Dustin lay in bed, wiping fresh tears from his eyes, as the faint sound of his mom pulling out the driveway came from the front of his house.
He pulled himself upwards and leaned against his wall.
He looked across his messy room, and his eyes landed on Eddie’s vest, causing more tears to spring to his eyes.
”I could’ve saved him.”
He thought, for the millionth time.
”It should’ve been me.” ”He didn’t deserve to die.”
He balled up fist-fulls of his hair and began to cry again.
”Its all my fault.”
He couldn’t stand the feeling of knowing he could’ve done something. Knowing Eddie did that for him. Knowing Eddie wouldn’t get to graduate, knowing Eddie would never be found innocent.
Most of his mind was occupied by grief and sorrow, but the last bit of it was him yelling at himself. Yelling at himself for refusing to leave his house. He knew he could get better if he just tried but he felt to exhausted to do so.
He pulled the blanket over his shoulders and sobbed into it,
“I’m so sorry, Eddie…”
He murmured.
He continued to sob into his blanket, as intrusive thoughts poked at him one by one, eventually falling into his pillow and letting it catch his tears.
—
Pulling up to Dustin’s house felt a little weird. It was quiet and his moms car was missing from the drive way. The living room lights were on, giving evidence of someone being home, but it was so quiet you might assume you’re in a dream.
He really shouldn’t feel weird either. Dustin hand lended him a spare key a while back, so it’s not like he’s breaking in. But, it still feels weird.
Maybe it’s because he hasn’t seen Dustin in so long.
Steve carefully closes his car door and walks up the front steps to Dustin’s house. The afternoon sun shines through the windows, causing the room in front of him to seem mich brighter than it is.
He walks in and closes the front door behind him, “Henderson?” he calls out. Nothing. He carefully walks towards Dustin’s room and knocks on the door. “Henderson? It’s Steve.”
—
Dustin can hear Steve from behind his door as he wipes away a face-full of tears. He feels pressured to tell Steve to go away, and he almost does. But, he stops himself.
He doesn’t wanna feel miserable, somewhere in his mind he believes he deserves it, but another part of his brain is telling him to reach out and get help.
It’s like an angel and a devil are arguing on his shoulders but he can’t tell which is which. It should be obvious, but with the state he’s in it’s practically impossible.
He doesn’t want to have worries gnaw at him until he’s inevitably crushed by his own insecurities.
So, Dustin pressures himself to say something different. Even if it’s just a little different. Even if it’s the tiniest step in the right direction.
”Hi, Steve…” He squeaks out.
”Hey, man. You mind if I come in?” Steve asks, trying to sound as calm as possible.
Dustin pauses for a second, “No, I don’t mind.” He thinks about sitting up, but just continues to lay down.
He watched as his door slowly creaks open and Steve shuffles in. He walks towards his bed and sits down on the edge of it next to Dustin.
He ruffles the boys hair then places his hand back in his lap.
”How’ve you been? Just wanted to check up on you.” Steve asks, but he isn’t 100% sure why he does, Dustin might just tell him he’s fine when he is clearly not.
“I…” Dustin wavers,
”Tell him the truth. No secrets, remember?”
“Not good. Thanks for coming to see me.”
”Well, thank you for being honest.” Steve says, “you’ve just been really quiet since…” He cuts himself off so he can cut out the details of that day.
Dustin sighs, “Yeah, I know…” His voice croaks, making it even more obvious he had been crying, if the tear stains on his face weren’t enough.
”I just came by to see how you were. Maybe get you out of the house?” Steve knows it might be a stretch to get Dustin out of the house on the first day he tried to get the kid up and moving, but he’s trying. “ We could go see a movie, maybe?”
“I don’t know…” Dustin’s murmurs in response, he doesn’t want to be rude, but just doesn’t feel like leaving the house.
”That’s okay, why don’t we just get you out of bed?” Steve puts out a hand, “That sound alright?”
Dustin wearily takes Steve’s hand, “that sounds okay.”
Steve carefully help the boy off the bed, and walks him out of his bedroom. He guides Dustin down the hall and to the kitchen.
”When’s the last time you had real food?” He asks, smiling.
”My mom brought me a cinnamon roll for breakfast. Does that count?” Dustin asks in a tired voice.
”That’s pure sugar. So I’m gonna say no.” Steve says as he opens the fridge, “you had any lunch yet?”
”No, I didn’t feel like leaving my room to make any.” Dustin forced himself to speak a little more truth.
”Alright, then how about I make you something? A grilled cheese sound good?” Steve says as his eyes scan the fridge. It’s pretty empty, but it makes sense. It’s two people, and it doesn’t seem like Dustin has been eating much.
Dustin nods and sits at his dining room table, slumping in his chair.
Steve can’t stand seeing Dustin like this. The kid is usually so talkative and happy, but him being so miserable hurts him too.
When he thinks back to the day he first met Dustin, he didn’t think a kid snatching up flowers from his hands would be the same kid he’d be caring for years onward.
And definitely not the same kid who’d be distraught-faced as he made him a grilled cheese.
The pan sizzled as he pressed the grilled cheese to its base. After he flips the sandwich over, he glances behind to look at Dustin, who’s staring blankly at the kitchen table.
It hurts to see Dustin in so much pain. He knows Dustin is hurting, but the kid won’t open up any further than admitting the very obvious fact he wasn’t okay.
He can’t help him if he doesn’t know what’s going on in the kids head. He’s considered pushing the kid - as well as everyone else who went through those terrible events, including himself - into a therapists office, but it would be hard for the kids who would need parental approval to enroll them in such.
But, what matters right now is feeding the kid and - at least trying - to start breaking down the kids’ walls.
He takes the grilled cheese out of the pan and slides it onto a plate, “There.” He says before opening a cabinet to his right and pulling out a bag of potato chips. He pours a handful onto the plate, and declares Dustin’s lunch done. He walks over to the kitchen table and sets down the food. “I’ll get you something to drink.”
He ruffles the boys curls as he walks back into the kitchen, but sees a small smile tug at the corners of Dustin’s mouth, which gives him a small flush of relief. He’ll take a win where he can.
He makes Dustin a glass of water and places it on the kitchen table next to his plate. Dustin hasn’t eaten much though. He’s picking at the cheese that’s visible from outside the sandwich.
“Are you not hungry?” Steve asks as he sits next to Dustin.
”I don’t know…” Dustin starts to pick at dead skin around his fingers, “I thought I was.”
Steve sighs, he knows what no appetite can mean in situations like this, “Henderson.” He says, pulling up a chair.
Dustin looks up from the table to make eye contact with Steve, and by the faces he’s making he knows what’s about to happen.
“I understand that what you’re going through is tough, but all it’s gonna do is get worse if you don’t talk to me.” He says, “Having no appetite isn’t a good sign, isolating yourself isn’t a good sign, none of what your doing is a good sign, and it just means you’re going to get worse.”
Steve continued before Dustin could intervene, “And I don’t mean that in a rude way, it’s just…” he wavers, “I care about you a lot, and I just want to make you happy. And I’m fully aware that this isn’t just going to dissolve into thin air and never affect you again, but you can learn to live with this and have it not affect so much.”
Fresh tears threaten to spill out Dustin’s eyes, “I’m sorry…” Is all he can sputter out without breaking down it tears.
“No, Dustin. It’s not your fault, none of this was your fault. I just want you to understand that you need to be able to accept help.” Steve places his hand overtop Dustin’s, “And it’s not going to bother anyone if you ask, and it’s okay to ask for help, and we’re not going to think less of you. You just need to talk to us, and I know it’s hard.”
Dustin’s doesn’t say anything and springs into Steve’s arms, bursting out in sobs. Steve rubs circles into the boys back, every now and then giving whispered reassurance.
”Everything is going to be okay… I promise.”
He lets Dustin stay like this for a while, and eventually he relaxes, now hes just shaky. Steve rests his hand on the back of Dustin’s head, letting himself think.
It just feels so weird to him, how young these kids are. They’re fighting literal demons when the when the most they should be fighting are cockroaches.
When he was a freshman in high school, his biggest concern was getting a girlfriend.
These kids lives are so different from his, hell, he doesn’t know much about what Henderson’s life was like before he moved to Hawkins. Same goes for max.
His heart aches for Dustin and the rest of the party. They had so much of their childhood stripped away from them because some stupid lab decided to do some freaky tests.
Steve’s pulled from his thoughts when Dustin shifts in his arms and murmured something he can’t quite catch.
”What was that?” Steve asks, moving his hand against Dustin’s head.
”Can we watch a movie?” Dustin repeats, eyes looking towards his living room.
”Here?”
Dustins nods, though barely perceptible.
”Alright. That sounds good,” Steve says, attempting to pull my and Dustin off his chair, “what do you wanna watch?”
Dustins pauses to think as he leans off Steve and waits for him to get off his chair.
”Is Ghostbusters good?”
”Fine with me, man.” Steve looks over at Dustins living room, “You just have to tell me where you keep your movies.”
—
Ghostbusters has long finished and Dustin requested some other movie, Steve had tried to understand both but had zero idea of what was going on. Dustin just kept requesting movies. Once one finished he had another in mind, but Steve didn’t mind. He finally seemed a little excited.
Soon light turned to dusk, and dusk turned to dark. Dustin had fallen asleep next to Steve while Halloween was playing.
Before Dustin had fallen asleep, he had this big, cheeky grin on his face while he told Steve about the lore behind Micheal Myers.
Steve understood 0% of it, but pretended he did so he could keep hearing Dustin ramble. Just to see that Dustin spark again.
He might not get better right away, but he will. Steve’s going to make sure of it.