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Edward smiled as his younger brother wadded into the blue, lapping waves. There was a light breeze in the air and it caressed the trees of Yoke Island, blowing fallen leaves into the sky. Edward stood on the sandy shoreline, his red cloak rippling like the water. Alphonse gave a small giggle as little minnows darted in and out of his hollow armored body. Alphonse knew that he couldn’t submerge himself into the lake like he did 4 years ago, but it was enough for him to be standing among the fishes.
Unfortunately, the soft splashing of the waves and Alphonse's laughter wasn't enough to keep troubled thoughts at bay. Edward’s brow furrowed as the names of everyone he's encountered over the years saturated every crevice of his mind. Scar, with the blood of countless State Alchemists on his hands. Mustang, who murdered the innocent under this God forsaken military rule. Winry, who was hopefully back home safe in Resembool, or in Rush Valley for another manic shopping spree. How he hoped her eyes were sparkling with excitement, he can't take anymore of her tears.
Shells crunched under his boots as Edward walked along the shoreline, still keeping an eye on the suit of armor splashing in the waves. The sun was starting to set, casting a rosy glow on the horizon. Seeing the pink sky, Edward felt his face grow even warmer as the gentle, sweet face of Rose filled his mind. He was astonished that he would come to care for her so deeply in the short time that he had known her, but he couldn’t help it. So lovely and kind, what he would give to see her happy and, perhaps, be the man who could make her happy someday. Edward closed his eyes, remembering how her hair shone under the dry, desert sun. Opening his eyes, he watched the horizon turn a shade of red, rich as blood.
Edward grimaced as the colour triggered the grotesque image of his failed transmutation to fill his mind, making him shiver in the warm beach air. The faces of the Homunculi flashed one after the other, settling on Wrath, his sharp tooth grin incessantly mocking him. Edward can still picture his Teacher’s agonized expression as she tried to kill Wrath, her only child, on this island. In the very same clearing where she surrendered her organs and with it, any chance at a long life.
The student has become the teacher, Edward thought to himself bitterly.
The moon began to rise, casting Edward and Alphonse into a silvery light. Edward felt himself grow even colder as Sloth surfaced in his mind. The Elric's monster, created from grief, arrogance, and blood. An experiment gone wrong. Their ultimate sin. She had to be destroyed. Then, and only then, would Mother finally be at peace. The soft breeze brought Edward back to the world. The wind blew through his hair, brushing strands against his forehead. Alphonse's high-pitched squeal of delight from finally catching a minnow morphed into a shriek as he lost his balance and fell into the water. Edward froze, panic rising in his chest like the tide.
“Hey Al, come on out, or you’re going to start rusting!” Edward's call pierced through the seagulls shrill cries, their wings swaying in harmony to the dancing branches of the trees. Alphonse rose from the water and shook out his limbs, droplets making soft tinkling noises on the steel.
“Don’t worry brother, the blood seal is still on,” Al replied reassuringly as he stepped onto the sand. With a click, he opened up the hatch on his chest and let the lake water slowly drain out. Edward poked his head inside and sighed in relief. The red seal was still there, no smudges or fades to be seen. Edward brought his head back out placed his hands on the armor, checking it for any signs of rusting. He gave a small growl of frustration as he found a deep groove etched into his brother’s right arm, just above the brown padding.
“It was from Scar, I didn't want to trouble you for a repair after your arm got destroyed." Alphonse gave a small shrug. Edward's temper flared at his own carelessness, but he bit his tongue. “I’m sorry Al, let me fix that now.” Alphonse reached out and placed his armored hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Ed, don’t worry, it can wait, besides, before we left Resembool, Dad checked my armor and said it was structurally sound.”
Edward's fuse was lit. “Since when do you listen to him? I’m going to fix you right now,” Edward snapped. Alphonse flinched at the anger in his voice. “Stay still, brother,” Edward commanded in the same tone. Alphonse nodded, his helmet creaking in ascent.
CLAP
Edward placed his gloved hands on the armor and blue energy started to writhe across. It crackled and snapped like electricity until it reached the groove. Edward gave a small smile as he watched his alchemic reaction repair the broken metal, unblemished steel flowing into its place like a molten river. With a small snap, the energy vanished.
“Thank you Ed, but it really wasn’t necessary…” Alphonse’s voice softly echoed inside the empty helmet. Edward shrugged and continued his trek along the beach again. Thin clouds scudded across the moonlit sky, casting faint lines of shadow on the shore. Edward tried to swallow back the bile in his throat.
Why would Alphonse mention that bastard now of all times?
“Brother? Why isn’t Teacher coming back for us?” Alphonse had unknowingly been keeping pace with his stride. Edward sighed and laced his fingers behind his head, his white gloves slightly wet from repairing the armor. “No idea. Maybe she wants us to have another lesson on One is All and All is One. Think of it as our little vacation before we head back to Central.”
None of them spoke for a few minutes as they continued along the beach. Alphonse’s helmet creaked as he turned to watch the sky. "Brother, do you see that cluster of stars? The golden ones? They remind me of Dad’s -". Alphonse swallowed the rest of his sentence when Edward stopped walking and glared up into the red glowing orbs of his brother's metal form. "What?"
Alphonse shook his head. "It's nothing Brother." He tried to continue walking but Edward grabbed his arm. "No. Tell me, what were you going to say?". Alphonse turned away, staring off into the waves. "His eyes, those stars reminded me of his eyes."
Edward's fuse detonated. “Who cares about what his eyes looked like, he's been gone 10 years. Get over it." Alphonse clenched his hands, armored digits crunching in frustration. “You don’t like talking about him, but I do. I’m not ashamed to admit that I miss our father, I still believe-”
“YOU IDIOT!” Edward shouted. Alphonse shrieked as Edward tried to judo flip him into the surf. Ripping free of his automail grip, Alphonse retreated farther up the shore, just in front of the forest line. Edward continued to scream, boots fully submerged in the water.
"He abandoned us! Mom waited every single day at that table for him to come back. All she ever wanted was to see him one last time, how can you forgive, how can you believe in that bastard who broke our Mother's heart? If he came back, we never would have tried to bring her back! You're in that body because of him, how can you forgive him? Tell me, how? Tell me!"
After everything he'd been through, Edward had believed his heart had finally grown enough to endure all the consequences for his sin. His heart was now nothing short of a heart made full metal. Or so he thought. He felt it shatter under Alphonse’s broken look. Those weren’t Alphonse’s real eyes, Ed knew that, but the red glowing orbs peering out his helmet seemed to be quivering, as though they were trying to squeeze out non-existent tears.
“I thought that you Brother, of all people, would know what second chances are.” Alphonse turned around and walked away into the forest, his metal body shuddering from his silent sobs.
“Alphonse, please! Stop!”
Alphonse kept running, refusing to heed his brother’s pleading. He couldn’t stop, because stopping would mean he’d have to face the truth. He ran as fast as he could, but his armor was growing heavier with every stride. He was tired. He was so tired…Alphonse felt his despair at last take hold of him, and he fell to the pavement, armor crashing into the cold cement. He made no effort to move and laid there, feeling nothing but emptiness against his hollow body.
"Just let me go to sleep!", Alphonse screamed into the ground. "Why do I deserve to live, when everyone I love keeps dying to save me, an empty shell?". He shut his eyes, screaming until his voice was gone. A noise brought him back to the world, the creaking of an automail limb.
Brother.
“Look at me. Dammit Al, look at me.” Alphonse raised his helmet and gasped. Edward was crying. How does he always cry so quietly, Alphonse thought. Edward swiped at his eyes furiously but no matter how many times he rubbed them, more tears dripped between his fingers. Without a word, he yanked Alphonse’s arm with such power he forced him to stand. Shuddering, Alphonse lowered his head in shame. Edward glared up at him, tears streaming his cheeks.
"I'm sorry, Ed. If only I were human - "
Edward screwed up his face in anger and raised his clenched automail fist.
DING
Alphonse gasped and felt his jutting chest plate slowly give way to the automail fist pressing as hard as it could. “Brother, stop! You’re bending the metal,” Alphonse shrieked. Edward ignored him and kept pressing. His arm began to shudder from the exertion.
“Alphonse.” Edward growled from under his trembling lips. “Never.” He punched him in the chest. “Say.” DING “You.” DING. “Aren’t.” DING. “HUMAN!” Alphonse flew onto his back, armor crashing back into the cement. On his back, he watched the last of the sparrows circle the darkening Central skyline, too stunned to move. Alphonse heard the scraping of boots beside his helmet as his brother lay down next to him, Edward’s golden braided hair glinted in the dying sunlight. Alphonse saw the last of his tears trail down his cheeks.
“Why, Ed. Why should I go on, after everything I’ve done wrong.” Alphonse felt so pathetic, breaking down like this in front of him but he couldn’t keep this locked inside any longer. “I’m nothing but a parasite, feeding on the strength and lives of others. If I were human, I would be able to feel the pain you feel for my sake. I would be able to make the sacrifices so many have done to protect us.” Alphonse can see them, all the faces of his loved ones who have gotten hurt because of him, simply for clinging to a hollow suit of armor.
Teacher. Winry. Dad. Rose. Mustang. Riza. Hughes. Nina.
“I don't deserve to live, Brother. Why do I live on? Why me?"
The street was so quiet. Alphonse could hear every breath leaving his brother’s trembling body. Edward rolled onto his side and looked right at him, golden eyes burning.
“You once told me, that I of all of people would know what second chances are. You’re right, Alphonse. No matter how hard we prayed, God was not going to bring Mom back. Because it was her time. But I couldn't accept it. I messed up and when you went through that gate, I thought I was going to lose you, my only brother. The brothers both clenched their fists, remembering the horror of that stormy night.
Edward's voice began to tremble, signaling the oncoming of more tears. “You were the only one I had left, I couldn’t lose you too. So I did the right thing. My arm for getting you back. I may not have brought back your body, but I brought back your human soul.” Edward reached out and touched Alphonse's chest plate, gently this time. “I was given a second chance, a second chance to save you and make things right again. So if you think I’m going to let you go before that happens, think again.” Edward wiped his eyes and pressed his forehead to Alphonse's chest. “Why you, Alphonse? It’s because you, of all people, should know that you deserve a second chance. And I am not stopping until you get it."
Alphonse wrapped his arms around Edward, chest shuddering with emotion. After what seemed like hours, the pair stiffly rose from the pavement. Edward wrapped his red cloak tighter around his shoulders, tucking his braid inside the hood for good measure. The night was getting colder. Edward began to walk down the street back towards Central headquarters, and after a few moments, he felt his brother fall in step beside him. The brothers looked up at the sky, the stars forever their witness. Edward placed his metal hand on Alphonse’s chest.
Where his heart will be.