Chapter Text
Being reborn is a messy business. A messy business Dean had already dealt with before. Something he always wished he wouldn’t have to do but always knew he’d end up doing it. It’s not a purposeful thing. Not by far. Something forces him to be alive. Something always forces him to be alive. If it was up to Dean, he’d stay dead. Of course he would, the way he is. But someone—god, fate, whatever—wants him alive.
This time is more peaceful. Every other time had been horrible. The ultimate horror. Painful reconstruction of bone marrow inside of bones and bones piecing back together one by one to somehow become a skeleton to become something worth saving. But this time was different. Like when you’re a kid and you’ve fallen asleep in the car—you aren’t really asleep but you pretend to be so your father will carry you in his arms to your bed. Dean felt as if he was being laid down on the softest grass and nurtured back to himself. His brain and body—every single small detail of himself being put together like a puzzle in the most peaceful and painless way. It was refreshing.
The pain did arrive however. The split second Dean really was reborn. Because birth is always painful.
Deans eyes open. They feel new. Like the damage they’d absorbed and the horrors they’d seen over the years hadn’t happened. His joints didn’t ache like they had been for the last thirty years. He’d never felt relief like this. Even in Heaven you feel pain.
Only… his head was fuzzy. Like his entire brain was plunged in the water. A deep dark aquifer seemed to house his thoughts and keep them unattainable
In front of Dean was a valley. It was beautiful with flowers of every colour and grass greener than Dean could ever picture. The sky was a vibrant blue with white clouds in the sky—no grey ones in sight—and birds soared in the sky. Dean was laid up against a tree. He looked down beside him at a leaf and swore he could see every vein. Every molecule of water traveling up then and throughout the leaf to give it the nutrients it needs. It was like Dean could see the past of the leaf. Where it had come from. Where it’s been and how it got here. How this little insignificant green and brown leaf had lived it’s life and how it was rotting now.
Dean looked above his feet and saw clothes. Neatly folded. Along with boots. They were… his clothes. He didn’t know how he knew they were his. But they were his. That was the precise moment Dean realized he was in the middle of a valley, up against a tree, in the nude.
Coming to his senses, Dean stood and quickly put his clothes on.
Words entered Deans brain.
welcome back dean
What the hell? Dean furrowed his eyebrows and squinted at the sky. The shade from the trees shaded the sun from his eyes.
you have a job.
As the voice said this, it’s sound shifted from a otherworldly echoey voice to a ‘right in front of me’ voice. Dean looked up in front of himself.
jack.
“Jack?” Dean asked, tears pricking at his eyes. He didn’t even feel himself barrel towards the boy and smother him in a crushing, back cracking hug. Dean pulled back. “I-I missed you, man.”
Jack smiled, “I did too, Dean.” Deans smile persisted as he stared at Jack a little confused, “what- what’s going on, Jack?” Jacks smile faded slightly and he looked to the ground. Then the sky and all around. “It’s a little hot out here isn’t it?” Dean supposed be agreed. It seemed as if he only just now realized it was hot. The worst kind of hot. Humid hot. Where it feels like every time you breath in you aren’t getting enough air. When the air feels so thick you could cut through it with a knife. Jack snapped his fingers and he and Jack were sitting. At the war table. In the bunker.
“This should be better.” Jack smiled, his eyes crinkling slightly. The air conditioning cooled the sweat that had accumulated on Dean’s forehead.
“I’m guessing your confused. What do you remember?”
Dean blinked, “well. Last I remember was getting to heaven I guess. Seein’ Sam.” Jack nodded. Dean’s patience was fading. “Jack, seriously, what’s happening? You said I had a job?”
Jack sighed, he looked down. Sadness written all over his face. “There’s chaos going on right now, Dean. They- he- they need you. He… I-I tried to not to have to call you. I promise. I wanted to let you rest. But-“
“Hey hey hey. It’s alright, bud. I understand. Just tell me what’s goin’ on”
“It’s cas”
Dean felt his world come crashing in on himself at the mention of Castiel. That’s how much power Cas really had over him. Just at the mention of his name Dean felt the sting of tears burn his eyes. “He-.. I was able to save him from the empty” Deans eyes widened. This was a lot to fucking comprehend. It made Dean think about all of their memories. How it was so Cas to come back from something like the empty. The last words Cas said to Dean- “and? That’s great!” Dean replied.
“He won’t wake up. It’s- it’s like the empty. It’s still in here” Jack put a palm on his forehead, “everytime I try and enter his brain—his mind—he… he throws up black goo.”
“And you want me to go in there?” Dean sighed, holding his head in his hands where his arms perched themselves on the table by his elbows. Jack nodded, “I-I’m sorry Dean. I just.. I need to try everything. He’s my father.”
“How long have you been trying to save him?”
“Ever since I became god. The whole time. It’s.. it’s been hard. But I never stopped because I know he would do the same for me. H-has done” Tears cascaded down Jacks face and Dean stretched his arm across the table to put a hand on Jacks. “I’ll try, Jack.” Jack nodded as he wiped his tears away and Dean pulled back and crossed his arms.
“How can I even help though? He’s a whole Angel, I’m a human. If your a god then what can I even do?”
“Well.. you are very special to him.”
“So are you.” Dean countered but Jacks face became stern and his gaze piercing as he said, “you know what I mean” Dean looked down.
Jack stood. “Are you ready to see him?”
Dean stood aswell, looking into Jacks eyes. no. “Yes”
——
Apparently, as jack explained it, Cas was back on earth. So that’s where they needed to go. Previously jack had been keeping Cas in a place between reality and everything else. A little crack in the universe that was close to imperceptible to any living creature unless you knew where it was and how to get to it. Jack was afraid the empty may find Cas again and take him away for vengeance.
But he couldn’t take Dean to that place. He was already trying to protect Cas, he knew he couldn’t do the same for Dean. Dean would quite literally be torn to shreds by the sheer force and power of inter dimensional travel. Plus it would be hard for Jack to find every small atom of Deans in the aftermath to be able to piece him back together. Maybe impossible to do so. It was just generally easier to bring all of them to earth.
Dean figured the reason Jack had placed Cas in the bunker was for Dean’s comfort. Maybe Cas’ when he woke up. If he… It didn’t make Dean very comfortable though. Memories of the last time he’d really been there flooded his head as he walked down the hall towards the basement. When he’d thrown Cas out on the street when he’d been turned human—living on the street with no one. No family. When he’d beaten Cas within an inch of his life and threatened to kill him if he continued to try and save Dean. What made it worse is that he didn’t stop trying to save Dean. When Cas died.
It was really beyond him why Jack had Cas in the basement. Maybe it was some cosmic thing, like, ‘must be reborn where he died’ or some shit. Though, maybe Jack doesn’t know where Cas died. Just that he did. That the empty took him. I mean, it isn’t like Cas died and Dean ran out crying ‘HES GONE! THE EMPTY TOOK HIM IN THE BASEMENT!!’ No, Dean was thinking it but really he’d said as little as he could. Shut anyone down immediately if they tried to ask him about it. In the beginning he shut anyone down if they mentioned cas. Talked about him. Anything to do with Cas made Dean want to throw up and claw his eyes out. By the end—as in, before he kicked the bucket—people could talk about Cas around him.
Seeing Cas laying on that bed that Jack had set up for him affected Dean more than he thought it would. More than he thought it SHOULD affect him. He put the back of his clammy hand over his mouth as if he were going to vomit, though, he didn’t think it was possible for him to. Jack walked on in front of him, towards Cas.
The closer they got to Cas, the worse he looked. Bags under his eyes, pale face… black lips.
“Why are his lips black?” Dean asked and Jack looked up, “he throws up the empty every now and then. It’s as if his body…” Jack paused to put a hand on Cas’ chest and his chest illuminated like when you press a flashlight against your thumb and can see the details of your thumb. You could clearly see the disgusting goo of the empty inside of Cas. A famously noise came from Jack’s hand. The shiny, sparkling noise Angels made when they healed someone. As Jack attempted to heal Cas, Cas started to move. he struggled and moved his spine a bunch before he vomited up black empty onto the floor. Jack removed his hand, “it’s as if the empty is rejecting the healing. I don’t know how it’s still inside of him. That’s why I need your help, Dean”
“Whatever you need. Whatever he needs. What do we gotta do?”