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It’s been a long time since Tashiro actually saw his Senpai in person
Contrary to popular belief, Hanzawa Is actually more closed off and really does prefer to be indoors rather than to be outside. Tashiro saw his schedule once and was completely shocked with the whole thing. He never asked Hanzawa anything After that incident.
He really only goes outside when he’s told to do so.
So his kouhai couldn’t help but smile when he saw his senpai once again with his (he assumed to be) classmates while spying
His senpai never really changed after all
—
“God I’m actually about to barf, are they really always like this?” Tashiro listens to his friend’s millionth complaint by now, I think it’s quite obvious that none of them really do mind (except that one time when miyano has to look at his schedule to make sure he has spare time for them) Sasaki’s affection towards Miyano (Shirahama was really the first one to be..more opinionated? Tashiro couldn’t honestly think of another word for it). He has seen his parents do it all the time, both he and Miyano see it through Kuresawa all the time when it comes to his partner, it’s sometimes admirable how he always talks about his girlfriend, or how attentive he actually is to her.
He remembers that one time when he had to stop Kuresawa from destroying the fortune box. He zones out of the thought of it, now seemingly wistful. Going through that Length just for a bad fortune to his relationship is something Tashiro couldn’t understand, maybe he doesn't really have to..
“I thought you being teammates with Kagiura will make you immune to this kind of behaviour, Shirahama-kun.” Hanzawa scoofs, bringing back Tashiro to his consciousness, ahh right, they’re still walking to..uhh, somewhere..he’s not sure where to go
“It honestly just makes it worse..” Shirahama mutters as he pouts, everyone must’ve felt weird due to Tashiro being quiet all of a sudden (it really rarely happens), with only the other two talking. Kuresawa is mindlessly chatting with his Girlfriend while still attentively listening to Ogasawara (no one really understands what he’s talking about except Kuresawa, so the rest just thought it would be best to just not listen), a talent he surprisingly mastered after 2 years of being classmates with one another
All of them stop by at the entrance of the train station “you guys are not coming yet?” Hanzawa asked
“The hospital is just a walking distance from here, I’ll go give this to her before visiting hours are over” Kuresawa (who is also holding a giant teddy bear that he won) finally looks up to them and showing his cellphone screen, a series of text messages notifying his girlfriend that he’ll come to visit
“I’ll be waiting for someone here so you guys can go first” Ogasawara speaks, no one asked furthermore about it
“A new game has dropped so I want to buy it early” Shirahama said, Looking through his wallet to make sure he has enough of what he needed, He looks back at his friend “you’re not coming Tashiro?” Tashiro thinks for a while before answering
“Nah, I’ll just get the game tomorrow” He reasons as he yawns, he’s definitely tired after everything that they’ve done for today
Hanzawa’s chuckle didn’t slip through his vicinity though, strange..
—
“I guess we’ll be taking the train then”
That was the last thing Hanzawa said before both of them hop through the pretty crowded train, both are silent as they try to keep themselves steady from the moving vehicle
They both decide to stand through the other side of the door, looking through the city lights by it’s glass window, he really couldn’t stop to be mesmerised by it, different bright colours shines from above where they’re currently standing, He should probably visit an observation deck soon for an even better view of the city if he has some free time.
He lets his mind doze off again to its thoughts, on the other side he looks at his senpai, who is also gazing at the city. He looked back at the lights, but his mind didn’t left Hanzawa. He realises that he’s actually way taller now even though Hanzawa is the oldest. He is not smiling anymore, probably thinking deeply as well, he looks so mature whenever he’s like that, Tashiro always noticed. His hair looks soft enough to be easily blown away by a gust of wind.
He imagined being with him in the top of an observation deck, The light of the city illuminating every part of him as he looks down, his hair and face highlighting the different colours from below
Tashiro definitely thought he looks attractive from his point of view, but there’s nothing more to it, he and his senpai known each other for a long time now so it’s normal for them to notice the little things about one another, like how, earlier, Hanzawa notices the nearly fading tips of his old dyed out hair,(he’s just keeping a promise and totally not scared to what his senpai might do to him, that’s all-) he had a conversation about it that quickly died off once Hanzawa saw Ogasawara at the cafe. This is basically any other normal day to Tashiro before his senpai left their school.
After that..then he becomes the captain, too focused on his schoolwork that he didn’t really mind his hair anymore, he teaches the freshmans what they needed to know and still works at his part time job with the elderly in there, nothing really changed once Hanzawa left for college, and he knows his senpai makes sure of it.
So why does it still feel like it does?
Tashiro flinched, eyes widened, where did that thought come from? He tries to rehearse his memory to find where exac-
“Tashiro-kun, your stop is near” Hanzawa is smiling again once he broke him from his train of thought, maybe he’s thinking too much, Tashiro couldn’t tell
It still doesn’t make sense
Tashiro prepares himself for his stop, checking if his things are still there and tries to adjust himself for a bit, when he finds himself looking at least acceptable for a tired senior student, he moves closer to wave his goodbye. Hanzawa looked at him for some time before he giggles at his kouhai, Tashiro’s confusion was answered when Hanzawa’s hands trails off to his neck, adjusting his collar, His senpai seemed to be amused by this
His senpai was not done fixing the collar of his shirt when someone from the tight crowd pushed tashiro from behind, falling towards Hanzawa while the senpai laches on to the collar as he was being pushed more into the metal tumblehome of the train, Tashiro’s instincts instantly rely on his hand as he tries to balance himself, placing it on the nearest thing he could find, which is, apparently, the wall just next to his senpai’s head. Realising what just happened, he forgot how to breathe as his heart raced for its life.
His smile is now gone, mouth open and eyes wide,he could see every detail of his hair, some hiding the piercings in his ears, others slightly covering the surprise in his eyes. They’re merely inches apart, Tashiro thought of closing the gap, or brushing his bangs, or to just..stare
He always knew those blue eyes, he always saw that colour when his senpai is irritated by the council’s president, he perfectly saw those when he tries to hide a smirk in his face, he jealously saw those once he looked at Miyano protectively, like an older brother would to its sibling.
But this is the first time he saw it sparkle, him sparkle
As soon as he heard the train doors open, he quickly let go and took his leave, of course, not before apologising to his senpai.
He got back home safely, he notify his friends about it, closes his phone and put it in his bedside table, letting the notifications pop out, he’ll look back at it tomorrow
He didn’t realise how much that look actually drives him insane
Safe to say Tashiro never had a peaceful sleep after that.