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Scaramouche hadn’t been back ‘home’ in a long time. And by a long time he meant it had probably been well over a few years since his last visit back to Inazuma. Chilly Snezhnaya had been his home for the past few years while he attended Zapolyarny Academy.
Yet, despite making a name for himself in a foreign nation as a famous acting prodigy under Dottore, Scaramouche uncovered a long buried and forgotten feeling, Nostalgia.
It felt like the snowy wastelands of Snezhnaya froze time in places outside as years of growing fame passed in the flash of a storm for Scaramouche. It was only a few days ago when the rain had caught up with the lightning washing over like a summer monsoon’s flood.
The Harbingers had just finished their last show of the season. Snezhnaya had its peak tourist season in summer when the weather was more favorable and autumn lay on the horizon.
It was a show like any other…or at least that’s what Scaramouche had believed. But as he made his first appearance for the night, he found that he stumbled over his lines. He never forgot his lines, he strove for perfection, a habit he had picked up from his mother. However, something tugged at the back of his brain. In his short appearance, something had caught his eye in the audience. It was a simple crimson tuft of hair.
After what seemed hours and seconds together, Scaramouche had walked himself off the stage only making an appearance at the end again for the final bow. Yet, as his eyes scanned the audience, nothing caught his eyes quite as they had been before. Disappointingly, Scaramouche moved on and the thought moved to a long forgotten corner of his brain. But, it had been like the first falling leaf of autumn, a sure sign of something more to come.
Seasons in Snezhnaya did not change much. There was mushy snow, watery snow, regular snow, and icy snow, nothing else. Yet, as the fall approached, Scaramouche received a curious gift. It was from Childe of all people, it was a parting gift in fact. Childe would be departing from their little acting troupe to go to Liyue.
Childe was the most recent addition to the Harbinger crew, yet his soon departure sparked a wave of movement across actors. Every season their contracts ended and they could sign again to renew, but this season there were a few leaving. Joining Childe would be Signora who planned to live back in her homeland of Mondstadt again. She had tasted fame and was satisfied with it, but yearned to go back to her dear Rostam in Mondstadt. Unlike the other two though, Scaramouche never thought about not renewing his contract. He was having the time of his life in Snezhnaya, and never wanted to return back to Inazuma.
Or at least that was what he believed up until a few weeks ago. A set of sparks had been set off in Scaramouche’s mind.
A simple gift of a poetry book had done it. A book had set Scaramouche off to buy a plane ticket to Inazuma and to not renew his contract. Despite the Tsaritsa’s reluctance she let Scaramouche go.
It hadn’t been just any poetry book. It was one specifically filled with haikus written about Inazuma’s landscape and its ever changing eternity. The illustrations that went along with it were also just simply vivid. Scaramouche could imagine the tingling rain that used to fall along his face as he ran side by side with Kazuha looking to seek shelter under a tree years ago.
Yet, he felt scared to go back to Inazuma. It had been years since he had been back, changes were scary…
Going to Inazuma had been something Scaramouche had done on a whim. He really had no plan or even why he was going. Maybe it was because he was looking for something or rather one. He didn’t know what, just that restlessness would continue to plague him until he found them.
As he walked through the streets of Inazuma city, fond memories played back to his head as the ones long forgotten in the snow thawed. The blizzard had cleared, giving the chance for the flowers to bloom under the snow.
”C’mon Scara!”
“What do you want now, Kazuha?”
“Why are you always so grumpy? Miss Yae says that you’ll get wrinkles if you keep frowning!”
“Why would I listen to her? She doesn’t know shit!”
“Ghah! That’s a bad word, Scara! You’re going to get us in trouble again! See! Miss Yae is coming over to us now!”
7 year old Scaramouche rolled his eyes, “Relax, my mom’s not going to do anything to you, Kazuha.”
“Do you want to repeat what you said, sweetie?” Yae asked, out of all the kids in her class, of course the most problematic one had to be her own.
“I didn’t say anything!” Scaramouche defended, crossing his arms.
Yae turned to Kazuha, he was a much more docile child than Scaramouche. If Yae had to say she had a favorite besides her own little gremlin, it would be Kazuha. The boy was well mannered and also expressed an affinity for writing much like Yae herself. Though most of all, he made her job easy. All she had to do was ask him about Scaramouche and the kid would dump all of the bad things her son did. Sometimes she wondered why the two of them were friends as polar opposites. That was what she liked about children though, their spontaneity. Sometimes they did the most random unexpected things.
“Kazuha, sweetie, did Scaramouche here say anything bad? You don’t have to say the word, just a simple nod of the head will do.” Yae asked with a smile.
Kazuha put a finger to his chin like he was some wise old person, but he was 7 so it just looked cute instead.
After a moment of decisive thinking and the fact that little Kazuha had lost patience in keeping up his old wise person act after two seconds, he shook his head no to both Scaramouche and Yae’s surprise. Scaramouche held a suspiciously wide grin on his face.
Yae was shocked, she was sure she had heard something come out of Scaramouche’s mouth that he shouldn’t be saying, but perhaps it had just been a lapse in her own hearing. Kazuha hadn’t said Scaramouche did anything bad and she believed him. Even if Scaramouche had said something bad it was somewhat hers and Ei’s fault he learned those words. They weren’t as careful as they probably should be with some words when their son was around. Sometimes she even muttered it under her breath while she was teaching, but she was sure none of the kids had heard her.
She narrowed her eyes but eventually walked away at the sound of some other kid crying over their three layer block tower falling over.
Kazuha hummed some short little tune that he had picked up from somewhere he didn’t remember.
“Why’d you do that?” Scaramouche asked.
“Do what?” Kazuha replied confusedly.
“You lied.” Scaramouche stated.
“No, I didn’t”
“She asked if I did anything bad and you said no” Scaramouche accused.
“I don’t think you did anything bad.”
“I thought you said shit was a bad word though”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean you’re bad, Scara! Miss Yae says it a lot too!”
“Why don’t you think I’m bad, Kazuha?” Scaramouche asked.
“Because, you’re not, Scara!” Kazuha genuinely answered.
“But I get in trouble the most in class.”
“That doesn’t mean you’re bad, Scara!”
“You’re stupid”
“Hey! That was mean!” Kazuha pouted.
Scaramouche took one look at Kazuha before sighing, “Fine, I’m sorry”
“That didn’t sound real,” Kazuha replied.
“Whatever”
“Scara! Where are we going? We’re supposed to be home now! And it’s going to rain soon”
“Shut up! You talk too much!”
“That’s not very nice, Scara” Kazuha complained as his hand was dragged through the bustling streets of Inazuma. The crowds were quickly clearing out as thundering clouds approached the city.
Kazuha was right, the heavy clouds covered the city in a slight downpour.
“Great, now I’m all wet” Scaramouche grumbled as he sat under a tree on the outskirts of Inazuma city with Kazuha.
“It was your idea to go out this late, Scara”
“You’re the one who's supposed to be the smart one, Kazuha! Why didn’t you tell me this would happen?”
“I told you it would rain, Scara. Now, you face the consequences.”
“Whatever”
A silence filled with the pitter patter of the rain passed the next few minutes as the misty haze shrouded the two boys sitting under the tree.
“Leaves hang in the air,
The moon hides by rain cover,
Rain drops sparkling stars.”
“The fuck was that Kazuha?”
“A haiku about the current weather, did you like it?” Kazuha explained, his eyes glued to the sky above under the leaves’ cover.
“It was ok” Scaramouche quite liked the way Kazuha described things, the other had a way with words, but he would never admit that he thought that way.
Kazuha smiled, “I’m glad you do” Kazuha sighed, “one day I’d like to be a poet wandering over Inazuma’s lands. There’s so much diversity in our homeland, all in such close proximity. It’s quite mesmerizing isn’t it? What do you want to do when you grow up?”
“I dunno, Kazuha, that’s still a few years away. I’ll figure it out then.” I want to go with you.
“Hmm…” Kazuha put his hand to his chin pensively, a habit he picked up over the years, “I think you’d be good at acting, Scara!”
“Acting?” Scaramouche chuckled, “you’re not fucking with me, right?”
“No, no I truly think you would be, Scara! You’re good at switching up how you want to be! I notice you do it all the time depending on who you’re with, especially me!” Kazuha explained.
That’s just because I actually like you, Scaramouche thought, “whatever”
“You should try it out! You can audition for the school drama club! I’ll do it with you!” Kazuha cheered.
“Fine…but only if you’re doing it.”
“Of course, Scara!”
“This is it, isn’t it? After all these years…go on Scara, open the envelope!” Kazuha encouraged.
Scaramouche sighed, “Kazu, I- I- I don’t know if I should what if it isn’t what I want it to be.”
“Scara you can’t always doubt yourself like this, I’m sure you got into Zapolynary, and if you didn’t then you already got to Inazuma Uni too! That’s already a great school and I’ll be there too! C’mon Scara you’ve been waiting so long for this!” Kazuha reaffirmed.
Before he could think about going back he ripped open the envelope and pulled the letter out, his eyes lighting up as he read the words on the paper.
“I got accepted, with a full scholarship” Scaramouche incredulously answered, the shock still processing in his mind.
“See!” Kazuha smiled, his eyes said otherwise though, “I told you you’d get in, Scara!”
Scaramouche turned back to face his boyfriend as a certain realization dropped heavily on his mind. He had been too worried about not getting accepted to realize what would happen if he did get accepted. He would be going to Snezhnaya, Kazuha was staying in Inazuma. They would be on opposite sides of Teyvat.
“What about us? Kazu?”
“What about us, Scara?” Kazuha had already long accepted their fate. He knew if the matter came to choose between his own ambition as opposed to staying with Kazuha, Scaramouche would choose the former. At least right now. Nothing was meant to last forever and Kazuha was thankful for being able to experience his childhood with the other.
Yet, as the years grew, Kazuha always knew there would be a day when they had to part. Scaramouche had lofty aspirations for himself as did Kazuha, yet they were both conflicting with each other. Maybe one day in the future they’d be together again. It was optimistic thinking; Kazuha knew it could easily lead to disappointment, but holding onto that little sliver of hope mattered more.
“I’m going to Snezhnaya and you’re- you’re staying here…what are we going to do, Kazu?”
“I’ve thought about this a long while, Scara. We both have our own paths to take…maybe by chance in the future we’ll meet again then. But right now, maybe it’s time that we’re destined to split.”
“Kazuha…” Scaramouche started softly ,but stopped himself .He knew Kazuha was right, they would be going their separate ways. He wasn’t even going to bring up the idea of long distance because they both knew having that kind of relationship would be more of a burden than a boon.
“So this is goodbye isn’t it?”
“I suppose so, Scara” Kazuha added, he didn’t like to dwell on the end of things. He found it to be tiresome. “Promise me you’ll come back when you can, at least just to visit. Or at least call me when you can, even if we’re not together anymore.”
“I will, Kazu” They both knew that wouldn’t happen though. As they both progressed along their own paths they wouldn’t have time for each other anymore. A call wasn’t the same as meeting with each other again.
“I’ll be waiting for the day you come back, even if it’s years later.” Kazuha whispered as he pulled Scaramouche tighter into the hug.
“Where will I know to find you, Kazu?”
“Under our tree…Scara, goodbye and goodluck…”
Under our tree, that had been the name of the last haiku in the poetry book.
Kunikuzushi knew exactly who had written it, yet there was only the title in the book and no poem to follow.
As he walked along the outskirts of Inazuma City, his eyes searched the landscape for that tree.
He spotted it. It was much bigger than it was before, with branches reaching out into the sky.
Yet, there was no Kazuha under the tree, only a singular piece of paper.
Under our tree,
Though snow and storm fade and fall,
Roots remain untouched.
On the other side of the trunk, a poet leaned against the bark finally coming to rest after long awaiting his lover’s return.