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Stirring in his sleep, Voldemort instinctively reached out to pull Bellatrix closer and was surprised when, instead of the warm curves of her body, his hand fell on the flatness of their quilt. Confused, he blinked open his eyes. The right side of their bed was completely empty.
Strange. Bella usually slept much more deeply than he did. Since Azkaban, her sleep was often interrupted by nightmares, but they never drove her out of bed—on the contrary, his embrace was the only thing that could comfort her.
Perhaps she’s just checking on Delphi.
Knowing that he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep without her, the Dark Lord rose, grabbing the Elder Wand from under his pillow as he exited the room.
Before he reached the nursery, his gaze was drawn by a red glow in the corner of the sitting room. Wand raised, he followed the light and was shocked to find Bella sitting on the floor, teeth gritted, fire in her eyes, gripping a wand which was firing the Cruciatis Curse into her own chest.
“Bella, no!”
With a flick of the Elder Wand, he disarmed her, breaking the spell. Despite this wand’s supposed power, it seemed to take several milliseconds too long. But there was no time to worry about that now. He threw himself onto the floor beside her, grabbing her shoulders.
“Bellatrix, what are you doing?!”
Trembling slightly from the aftereffects of the curse, she looked up at him.
“Punishing myself, my Lord. For letting Potter escape.”
“There’s no need for that. You’re already being punished.”
“I deserve worse than being locked in the house for a while, my Lord.” There was such intense sadness in her brown eyes that he felt something twist painfully within himself. “He was right here. In our headquarters. And I let him escape! Not only that, but I may have given away your greatest secret. Now he knows there’s something important to you in my vault!”
Voldemort let out a long sigh.
“There are many items in your vault. He has no way of knowing which one. And I can’t be too angry at you for being thwarted by Potter when I myself have been so many times. Besides, the blame does not rest solely on you.”
“You’ve already punished the Malfoys far more severely than me.”
It was true. In addition to the house arrest, he had tortured all the Malfoys for a while, especially Lucius, and had placed them under Nagini’s constant supervision. (In better circumstances, he would have laughed as he imagined Lucius and Narcissa trying to sleep with the massive serpent staring them down.) But Bella he had merely screamed at and then not spoken to for the rest of the night. And he’d still gone to sleep beside her.
“You’re different,” he told her softly. It had been years since he’d punished her as harshly as the other Death Eaters, not since he’d realized he loved her and that seeing her in pain hurt him too. Surely she realized that by now!
“I know,” she mumbled, hanging her head. “I know you don’t like to torture me, so I thought I’d do it for you. I’m sorry you had to see this, my Lord.”
“Why do you keep calling me that?” he snapped. “We’re alone!”
“I don’t deserve to use your name anymore,” she replied despondently. “Not after I failed you so utterly.”
Voldemort was at a loss for words. He had never seen Bellatrix this defeated—and he’d been there for some of the worst moments of her life. (And caused several of them, which he’d come to regret deeply.) She was usually so confident, so sure of her position in the world and her abilities and brimming with pride in them. She was the only person who had argued with him on multiple occasions and lived.
He put a hand under her chin, nudging it so she looked back up at him.
“Bella. I didn’t ask you to use my name as a reward for your service. I did it because—” The words caught in his throat like always, but he forced them out, knowing she needed to hear them now more than ever. “—because I love you.”
At that, her whole body heaved in a sob.
“I’m not worthy of your love, my Lord! I wanted to be so badly and for a while I was foolish enough to think I was but—”
Tears were streaming down her face. Voldemort moved to brush them away, but she flinched backward.
“I have never been more ashamed of myself than I am now. We have been after Potter for years and he slipped through my grasp. I lost a battle with a bloody house-elf! After fourteen years of Azkaban and then being pregnant…I thought I was building my strength back up, but clearly, I was wrong! Maybe…maybe I’ve been irreversibly weakened.”
“Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”
Desperate to get through to her, Voldemort pulled his lover into a tight hug.
“First of all, you didn’t lose to the elf. You said yourself your dagger struck him.”
“But not in time to stop him from Disapparating!” She sobbed into his shoulder.
“Secondly, don’t forget that I lost to Potter at the height of my power when he was just a baby. Since then, he has been a constant thorn in our side. I don’t know how or why he continues to elude us—perhaps he was simply born under a lucky star—but it is not your fault.”
“That’s not what you said to Lucius—”
“Well, if he had been smart enough not to let his elf gain freedom in the first place, we wouldn’t be in this situation. Besides, Lucius has been a constant disappointment. He can’t blame it all on Potter’s luck.”
“I’ve disappointed you just as much. And Delphi…I want her to grow up with a mother she can be proud of….”
This was worse than the Dark Lord had thought, if she was comparing herself to Lucius Malfoy. Still holding on to her, he drew back enough to stare directly into her eyes.
“No, Bella. You haven’t disappointed me. And how could Delphi not be proud of you? You are my most faithful Death Eater, the most spectacular witch there is. I taught you all the Dark Magic I know and you have mastered it. You were the quickest to return to your duties after fourteen years in Azkaban. You carried and gave birth to our daughter, something I certainly never could have accomplished. And only months after her birth, you returned to your duties again and split your soul—a process that most wouldn’t dream of attempting—thereby making you more powerful than ever!”
He couldn’t help smiling a bit as he remembered the horcrux she’d recently made. Finally, he could be sure that she would always be with him!
“Your very presence brings me so much joy, Bellatrix. You are the only one I’ve ever loved.”
“Maybe you were right, when you said love was a weakness,” she replied wryly.
“Only for lesser beings. Not for you and I. You know that. We only make each other stronger.”
Hope glimmered behind the tears in Bella’s eyes. Cupping her face in both his hands, Voldemort kissed her gently.
“Please,” he murmured, resting his forehead against hers, “Don’t hurt yourself. Don’t throw away everything we have because of one setback.”
“I’m sorry, my Lord.” Her tears were still flowing, now dripping on to his face. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
“I’m only upset that you’re upset. And please, call me by my name.”
“Okay. I’m sorry…Voldemort.”
“Don’t worry.” He gave her another kiss. “One day, Potter’s luck will run out. And then things will be different. Our relationship won’t have to be secret anymore. We’ll finally get officially married.”
He raised her hand to his lips and kissed it, his fingers lingering on the ring he had given her months ago.
“I’ll show the whole world how much I value you—no one will ever question either of our power again!”
“That’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Bella said tearfully.
“And you shall have it. I know, in the past, I’ve made you feel unworthy. It was a desperate and foolish attempt to protect myself from my own feelings and it was a mistake. I am better with you. You understand me in a way no one else can. I don’t want to go back to the way my life was before you. Sometimes I get angry at you, but…well…all couples fight, don’t they? We’ll always find a way through it.”
“I thought—after today—that might have changed. And I’m furious at myself for letting this happen—”
“Nothing will change what we have Bella. You don’t have to worry about that anymore. I promise.”
He reached out to her with his mind so she’d know he was telling the truth. Her mental barriers were strong, but after a bit of gentle knocking, she let him in. Her mind was a whirlwind of pain, fear and guilt. Voldemort felt something unfamiliar: a rush of shame.
I did this to her. I’ve done more damage to her than anything else she’s suffered.
How could he have been unaware that all the times he’d mistreated her in the past were still damaging Bellatrix’s self-esteem in the present? He was often especially hard on her in front of the other Death Eaters in an attempt to hide his true feelings for her. Although he always tried to make it up to her in private, that clearly wasn’t enough.
Pulling her into a hug again, he let his current feelings, his adoration, reliance on her and—yes—love, all ringed with the deepest sincerity, flow from his mind to hers.
Yes, Potter had escaped again. And yes, that was infuriating. But he wasn’t about to destroy the best part of his life because of it.
Gradually, Bella’s breathing slowed and her tears stopped.
“Thank you, my love,” she murmured. “You are too merciful. I promise, I won’t fail you again!”
“I don’t want you torturing yourself again, either. You are meant to inflict pain on others, not yourself.”
“I know,” she sighed heavily. “I was just so angry at myself—”
“Believe me, I understand that feeling all too well. Try to focus your anger on Potter and all the forces that insist on helping him instead. It makes it easier to move forward.”
Bella nodded, seeming to come back to herself.
“I will. One day, I’ll make them all pay!”
“I have no doubts about that. Now, will you come back to bed?”
Standing, he pulled her carefully to her feet, kissed her forehead and then wrapped an arm around her to guide her back to their room. On the way, they passed the wand she’d turned on herself, lying discarded on the floor.
“Where did you get this anyway?” Voldemort asked, looking down at it in disgust, as though the wand had been hurting Bellatrix of its own accord.
Bella’s own wand had been taken in the fight—a fact which had to be adding to her pain. He had had plans to give her a new wand, which he’d been saving for when he was in a better mood. But perhaps, given how distraught she was, he should move those plans up.
Bellatrix shrugged.
“There are lots of extra wands lying around from when we raided Ollivander’s.”
“This one does not suit you. It is not worthy of you.”
He stuck out a foot and stepped on the offending wand, snapping it in half.
“I have one that would be much better for you,” he assured her, leading her into their bedroom. “Just give me a moment.”
He sat her down on the bed and rummaged in the drawer of his nightstand. From it, he pulled his yew wand, which had served him faithfully for many years. The Dark Lord sat on the bed next to his lover and presented the wand to her.
Bellatrix gasped loudly, eyebrows shooting up in surprise.
“My Lord—Voldemort…are you sure?”
“Absolutely, Bellatrix. Now that I have the Elder Wand, I have no need of this one, but it seems a shame to let it go to waste. I can think of no one more worthy of wielding it than you.”
Bella’s hands shook as he slid the wand into her fingers.
“I do not deserve such an honor.”
“Yes, you do. It is an excellent wand—yew, thirteen and a half inches, with a phoenix feather core. Yew is a rare wand wood and said to be quite fearsome and powerful. Perfect for a witch of your status and skill. It never failed me, except when I tried to use it to kill Potter. But you don’t have to worry about that because I’m going to kill him with this wand,” he said, holding up the Elder Wand.
“Thank you. Thank you so, so much. I promise I will treasure it always and be endlessly happy to use it in your service.”
“I was sorry to learn that your wand had been stolen. I know that it was as remarkable as its owner. But you must admit, the timing is rather serendipitous.”
He touched the Elder Wand to the wand that was now Bella’s, forming an X over their laps. “We both got new wands at the same time. Perhaps this was meant to be.”
Reverently, Bellatrix traced her fingers over the two crossed wands.
“You’re right,” she smiled. “This is perfect. It’s like a new beginning for us.”
“Exactly. Just in time for the new beginning we’ll give the whole Wizarding World once Potter is dead.”
Delicately, Bellatrix raised the yew wand to cast her first spell with it. A thin stream of Fiendfyre shot out, which then formed into a burning falcon, leopard and serpent who darted around the room together. Voldemort could feel the heat crackling around them, but Bella directed the spell with finesse, so the flaming creatures touched none of their possessions and nothing burned. He waited until she had extinguished these creations and could afford to be distracted before leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.
“Magnificent,” he murmured. “See? You are the farthest thing from weak. You are going to do truly extraordinary things with this wand and I look forward to seeing it.”
“It feels good,” she admitted. “Using this wand.”
“I’m glad. Breaking in a new wand can be tricky but I think you’ll completely win it over, just like you did me.”
“You weren’t so easy to win over. But it was more than worth it in the end.” She ran her fingers along the length of the wand again. “At least I’ll have plenty of time to practice while I’m confined to the house.”
“To the manor, not just the house. You’ll have free range of the grounds. And you won’t be alone.”
“I know,” she nodded. “I realize this is supposed to be a punishment, but I am looking forward to having more time with Delphi.”
“As am I.”
Bella looked at him in surprise.
“I’ve decided to confine myself to the manor for the time being as well. I’ve been traveling a great deal lately, hunting for this—” He held up the Elder Wand. “—and I’ve missed just getting to be at home.”
“You consider Malfoy Manor home?” Bellatrix sounded skeptical, despite the fact that she herself had been living at Malfoy Manor since Azkaban.
“There are two places I consider home. Hogwarts and wherever you and Delphi are.”
Tears welled in Bella’s eyes, happy ones this time, and she threw her arms around him. Voldemort buried his face in her neck, enjoying her warmth and the smell of her. Were it not for Delphi, he would have asked her to accompany him on his quest for the Elder Wand, but he didn’t trust the Malfoys to care for their daughter for more than a night or so. It had lonely, being away from them for so long. Now, Bella’s “punishment” was the perfect excuse for them all to be together again.
“What about Potter?” she asked, reluctantly releasing him. “How will we catch him?”
“Easily. Thanks to you, we now know where he’s likely to show up next.”
“You mean…?”
“You said he knows there’s something important to me in your vault at Gringotts. It’s the perfect trap. He and his friends will no doubt attempt to break in…but they won’t get out.”
Bella shook her head ruefully.
“I’ve always known you’re a genius but finding a way to turn my stupidity into an advantage is truly something else.”
“Or maybe you just haven’t realized quite how clever you are. Now, try to get some sleep. We’ve got a busy day tomorrow.”
“What’s tomorrow?”
“You’re not the only one with a new wand to break in. I thought we could train with them together, do some dueling.”
She started to grin, then gave him a suspicious look.
“Wait a minute—you’ve got an unfair advantage now! The Elder Wand’s unbeatable!”
Voldemort chuckled, glad to see some of her usual belligerence returning.
“True, but I’m sure you’ll put up a good fight.”
“Is that why you wanted a new wand? It’s not because this one shares a core with Potter’s, it’s because you couldn’t beat me on your own!” She joked.
“Alas, you’ve found me out,” he answered, copying her playful tone. “No matter, I still have one secret weapon that always works against you.”
“Oh really? And what’s that?”
He pulled her in for a kiss. It was a long time before they broke apart.
“Okay, you win,” she whispered against his face.
“Excellent. Then I claim you as my prize,” he replied, kissing her again.
“I love you. So much,” she said, voice heavy with passion.
“I love you too,” he hissed in Parseltongue, silently vowing to do everything in his considerable power to make sure her faith in herself never wavered again “Now let’s get some rest.”
Simultaneously, they slipped their new wands under their pillows and lay down.
“Would you like a sleeping potion?” Voldemort asked, knowing she sometimes needed one after a hard day.
“No, my love,” she murmured. “As long as you’re with me, I shall be fine.”
“Worry not then.” He pulled her into his arms and nuzzled his face into her hair. “I will always be here.”