Work Text:
Chihiro's painted fingernails tapped on her computer keys, filling an otherwise quiet room with a gentle rythmitic clicking sound. She had had a much needed shower not that long ago, and her wet hair was still clinging to the back of her neck. She was in minecraft branded pyjamas, and sitting hunched on her bed, leaning over her thick, durable laptop. Looking past the screen of whitetext and binary, she spotted the current timestamp in the corner of her screen. 2:23 am. Shit. She should probably give it a rest.
She let out a small yawn before pulling herself up from the bed, folding her laptop shut and placing it in it's respective charging space. She leaned down to quickly tug her socks off, before climbing into her bedsheets, shuffling to get comfortable under the linen.Sitting idle felt strange to Chi. Even when she was sitting her fingers were always tapping something or shuffling together in anxious movements, so it felt weird when her hands had nothing to do. she closed her eyes and let out a deep breath. She interlocked her fingers and rested them on her stomach, feeling her body move as she breathed, soaking in the silence.
Coming out hasn't been easy for her. Not just because of fear of how other people would react, but also because learning to accept it herself was hard. She had always been told that she needed to be strong and masculine. That if she wanted to be a "real man" she needed to act and dress and talk in certain ways that just felt foreign to her. Even before she figured out she wanted to be a girl, she never really felt like a "real man" should. She liked the puff of her petticoated skirts and enjoyed adorning her hair with clips and pins. Ever since she was a kid she always picked the female option in games and never minded when teachers thought she was a girl. She always thought to be strong you needed to be masculine, but that wasn't true at all. Aoi and Sakura were strong. Celeste and kyoko were intelligant and indipendant. mukuro was probably the toughest person she'd ever met. She had idolized mondo when she first met him because he was tough and agressive. Everything she had been told she needed to be. But the more she started to realise how feminine people could still be just as strong, the more she felt comfortable in her own femininity.
Chihiro shuffled around again, turning over to her right side and tucking her legs into her stomach. Sure she stayed up too late, forgot to stay hydrated often and probably had way too much work on her plate, but she was happy. She didn't know she was allowed to feel this happy. Happy with herself and her body and her friends and her life. She had been on estrogen for the past couple of months and she was blown away with how much it helped. She'd started wearing sport bras as of recent and it was crazy how something so small could make her so happy, even talking felt so much easier now that it was less of a strain to keep her voice soft. She thought her parents would be so upset at her, but instead they were proud. It made her sort of feel bad for all the years she spent alone in her room, not letting anyone talk to her.
Listening to the soft buzz of the electronics in the room, she allowed herself to slip into a well deserved rest. She could always pick up her work again tommorow.