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"It's okay, Hyung." For the hundredth time, Hyunjin assured the older boy in front of him. Who, in return, only gave him a deadpanned look from the other side of the room, looking done with Hyunjin's bullshit.
Luckily, Hyunjin had already been quite used to Minho's glares in the last few years. But that didn't mean it didn't affect him at all. The older boy was very sharp & observant. Fearing Minho would see through him, he averted his eyes & turned his back to the older one, focusing on the half-packed luggage in front of him.
He internally cursed himself for not finishing packing up earlier. There were only a few hours remaining before his flight, & he still was inside his room, wrestling with his clothes & shits.
"You both are idiots," Minho grumbled, for the thousandth time in the last six years. The younger of the two fidgeted in space, feeling the weight of other's glare on his back.
But he couldn't deny the fact that his Hyung was right, in every possible way. Hyunjin was certainly an idiot, & Seungmin… Well, he was another case. Hyunjin wasn't gonna confirm anything for that boy.
Kim Seungmin was literally a different breed; most probably an alien puppy, & Hyunjin wasn't really fond of aliens (but he was pretty fond of puppies). So, No. He wasn't gonna confirm that they both were idiots & fell in the same category, just for the sake of the one-sided rivalry & something else that he had for that boy.
He decided to tune off Minho's loud thoughts & curses toward him, & focus on the packing. He had a flight to catch.
"Don't call me if you miss me." Minho hissed, still quite pissed with the situation as they both waited outside the airport.
Their other friends couldn't come, or more like- Hyunjin hadn't given them enough time to process the fact that he was leaving the country; without any prior notice. It was just a coincidence that Minho had overheard his conversation with Chan, the eldest friend in their group. And just an hour later, he barged into Hyunjin's apartment after interrogating Chan, his long-distance boyfriend, over the phone; not caring about the big dent on his wallet that the bill was gonna cause due to the international call. He was fuming like a volcano & ready to explode as he pointed his small fingers at Hyunjin in accusations.
Well, then the rest was history. The older boy chased the younger one around the apartment with a box of tissue (a few from which actually went inside Hyunjin's mouth later when Minho managed to put his hands on the younger).
Tough life. Or, more like- scarred life.
Hyunjin couldn't help but to smile at his Hyung. He knew what he was doing wasn't really the best thing he could've done. He was literally running away. To Australia.
But- he just had to. For now. Besides, if Minho was really mad at him, he wouldn't have come to the airport with him to see him off.
"I'm gonna call you every single day just to inform you how Chan Hyung whines about you." Hyunjin grinned when Minho glared at the mention of his boyfriend. Nevertheless, the grumpy boy still opened his arms & immediately wrapped around Hyunjin's taller frame when the latter melted against his warm embrace.
"I'm gonna say it again. You are an idiot. & I don't like what you're doing." Minho grumbled slowly before letting out a small defeated sigh when Hyunjin didn't reply.
"But- if it makes you feel better… then fine. Just call me if Chan Hyung says something weird again, like wanting to visit the zoo wearing matching zebra costumes. Or, like supporting that dumbass puppy. I'm gonna get into the next flight & fly to Australia to break his old bones." He threatened casually as if Chan wasn't his boyfriend.
Hyunjin laughed watching his Hyung ramble with a straight face. Two years into the relationship, Minho still acted like a tsundere cat with Chan. They were still the same just how they were in the beginning. As if the current distance of the lands between them was nothing. They were still going strong with their weird but cute relationship.
"Chan hyung is gonna take better care of me more than you!"
That earned Hyunjin an earful from angry pouty Minho, threats now hanging on his own neck instead of Chan's. But still, his grin was intact, so was the dull ache in his heart.
He was gonna miss everyone.
Hyunjin's legs bounced as he waited for the call for his flight. Minho & he had parted their ways almost an hour ago, & now he was alone. His eyes roamed around the spacious area in front of him, watching people scurrying around the counters & the respective flight gates.
With passing seconds, the bouncing of his legs increased; a clear indication that he was nervous. Well, he had kinda expected it before. And tried to mentally prepare himself in the last seven days. But, in vain. His brain nerves started acting up as soon as Minho was out of his sight.
The older boy was right. Hyunjin wasn't really doing the best thing. It wasn't really a solution. It was more like a distraction. He knew he should be in his classes right now, sitting beside his rival/best friend, trying to piss the latter off (or, gaining attention of the other boy). But here he was, running away from everything as soon as he got a whiff that all might end up bad for him.
This lemon & lemonade relationship of theirs was really funny, & always had been one-sided.
A small smile curled up on his lips as he realized it had been nearly a decade of him making lemonade with the lemons he got from life, all thanks to one & only Kim Seungmin. & He gingerly poured them on the empty glass for the younger boy; only for the boy not to spare a single glance at it, let alone taking a sip from it. He never acknowledged Hyunjin's hard work to impress or depress him.
Kim Seungmin never realized what Hyunjin was going through after the boy had waltzed into his life.
It was just Hyunjin. & Him losing it every time to Seungmin.
If Hyunjin were to take a trip down memory lane, he was sure as hell he wouldn't find a single moment when Seungmin had looked back at him or his one-sided rivalry & efforts. While Hyunjin was way too invested in this revenge agenda, Seungmin had always been unbothered by it. Sometimes Hyunjin wondered if his rival even had any idea about the rivalry that was brewing between them like hot coffee. Most probably not. Because, one- Seungmin didn't like coffee, & two- Seungmin wasn't as desperate as Hyunjin.
Kim Seungmin had always been winning, even if he didn't know. While Hyunjin kept losing to the other boy, which only added more fuel to his one-sided rivalry. He became desperate to win. But here they were, a decade later, still the same.
Hwang Hyunjin kept losing to Kim Seungmin. Brutally.
& If Hyunjin were to mention the times when things started changing between them, for good or bad, then he would tell anyone about five moments that actually could summarize their whole story until now.
1.
Hyunjin was the best. In education. In sports. In dance. In social skills. In everything. He was the prince of his own world. From an early age he thrived being the center of attention, for good reasons only. & To achieve that, he had worked hard.
He never failed to score a 100 on his tests. Never failed to come first in the 100m runs during the sports. Never came second in anything he did. If someone had asked him, he'd easily say that his elementary school days were his heydays.
Until a boy with a thick rim & heavy (cute) glasses waltzed into his classroom & his life during the second year of his elementary school.
Kim Seungmin looked fairly simple with his dark black hair slicked to a side, uninterested gaze, blank face & lips pressed in a thin line. He was nothing special. He didn't like to talk, nor liked to play. Hyunjin would always find him with his nose down to their books & home works even in the free hours. He'd always bring the same pastel colored lunchbox (that Hyunjin always found cute) & classic homemade food, where the other kids from their class would bring fancy snacks & chocolates all the time. Seungmin never looked jealous. He simply didn't care about anything else other than his books.
Hyunjin found him boring. He, himself, wasn't a chatty or outgoing one either. He wasn't the one to brag about the wealth of his father. But at least, he had friends & life outside the books & homemade foods.
Hyunjnn eyes were about to bulge out at the sight bold 99 written in red ink on the top of his math paper.
He? Hwang Hyunjin? Got 99?!
Right then he heard a commotion on the other side of the class. A good number of his classmates & friends were circling around Seungmin, all looking surprised & amazed.
Apparently, Kim Seungmin was the only one who got a perfect 100.
Hyunjin's throat went dry at the new information.
IT HAD TO BE SOME KIND OF JOKE!
But it wasn't, unfortunately.
He tried to convince himself later that it might just be a coincidence and nothing else. He could easily surpass Seungmin in the final exams!
But once again he was proved wrong. Seungmin came first in the year final exams. & Not only that. Education wasn't the only thing the boy beat him to. He came first in every sport too, causing Hyunjin's perfect life to crush down slowly, but spontaneously.
Hyunjin was mad. Mad at himself thinking he was slacking off unknowingly. So, soon he requested a few more tutors at home & joined cram school. He was gonna show Seungmin who was the best!
But of course, as if the universe was hellbent on mocking him. As if the previous humiliation wasn't enough, a few days later Hyunjin suddenly found himself waking up at Kim Seungmin's place.
“Oh… You're up.”
Hyunjin, the scaredy cat, almost leaped out from the bed in shock when he heard Seungmin's tiny voice.
THE HELL WAS SEUNGMIN DOING HERE?!
As Hyunjin tried to speak up without stuttering, Seungmin closed his books & slowly padded toward the him, before placing his hand on Hyunjin's forehead to check his temperature.
“It’s still high...”
Dumbfounded, Hyunjin stared at Seungmin, who was now only a few inches away from him. He felt heat rise on his cheeks as the other boy suddenly pressed his forehead against Hyunjin's, for a recheck.
“W-what are you d-doing?!” Embarrassed, Hyunjin scurried back a little, making the other boy look at him in confusion.
“You passed out in front of my block, so me & my mom brought you here, as we don’t know your address.”
Oh…
Now that Hyunjin thought about it, he was feeling a bit off from the morning. His mom did tell him to skip today. But his want to beat Seungmin on the next exams were so big, that he didn't listen & ended up fainting on the road before he could even reach the halfway to cram school.
With a red embarrassed face, Hyunjin accepted the medicine & dinner offer from Seungmin as they waited for his mom to pick him up. It wasn't anything fancy. Simple fried rice, which Hyunjin found mouthwatering.
Looking around, there was nothing much to see in the house. The place was small, almost of the size of Hyunjin's bedroom. But it was very clean & neat, just like Seungmin himself. It kinda reflected the younger boy's personality.
He wondered how Seungmin's parents were. Maybe the same as their son? Not so friendly & talkative?
There were a few photo frames hanging on the wall. One was a photo of a couple with a small baby, which Hyunjin assumed was Seungmin. And, his eyes sparkled noticing how cute the other boy was as a baby, unlike now.
Then he found another photo, where only Mrs. Kim & son were posing for the camera. Seungmin was a little bigger here than the first photo. But unlike the other photos, this time the boy’s smile didn’t reach his eyes. His eyes looked a little dull.
Then another few photos of Seungmin & his mother. All showing the boy growing up with his mother. There wasn't a photo of Seungmin with his father alone.
Kim Seungmin didn’t have a father figure in his life anymore. Young Hyunjin didn’t know why his heart constricted at the realization, or why his eyes teared up slightly.
“I... saw your books beside the bed earlier. Don’t you go to cram school?” Hyunjin asked, eyes stuck on Seungmin's figure standing on a tool to reach the sink. He was cleaning the dishes all by himself.
Back at his home, Hyunjin had multiple servants around the house to do the chores. He never had to lift a finger to do anything besides studying & playing. A small frown creased on his forehead at that.
Was this what they called being spoiled?
The thought, for some reason, didn't entertain him. Being spoiled, getting everything he wanted on a silver platter might’ve sounded cool to him before, but not anymore. He felt a little embarrassed. At this moment- working on his own, doing his own things without older people's help sounded cooler & right to him. He wanted to try doing his chores all by himself. He wanted to learn to do things like Seungmin.
“We're too poor to afford that. My dad died when I was 6, from then my mom had been single handedly raising me up, paying up all the bills along with my school fees. So, we can't afford anything extra.”
Hyunjin felt a small pang in his heart. Exactly for what, he didn't know.
“That’s why I try to do my best to study hard, so that I can grow up soon, & be capable enough to provide my mom with a better life. In that way, she won't have to work late nights anymore to provide my tuition fees & our meals.”
Seungmin said all that without even a crack in his voice. How strong was he at 12 years old? Hyunjin couldn't tell. He could only stare at the back of the boy who was the same age as him, yet led a totally different life with a different perspective.
Hyunjin never thought like Seungmin. It never came to his mind how his parents were getting him everything without him asking twice. He never understood the hardship because his parents never gave him a chance. Hyunjin had taken his parents for granted.
It never came to his mind, what if-
Maybe that's why Seungmin was winning. Hyunjin was doing it because he wanted to show off that he was the best, whereas Seungmin was doing it for his mom & himself.
That day when he left Seungmin's house, he left with a huge amount of respect for the younger boy. That day he realized that he needed to change; his view, his thoughts, his lifestyle. He needed to change for better, for himself. He needed to remember that he shouldn't take anything for granted.
But that didn't mean Hyunjin was gonna lose. Not so easily. He needed to win against Seungmin at least once, he didn't care at what. But he must win. For that, he needed to climb up at the same level as Seungmin. Until now, he couldn't win against that boy because he was nowhere near Seungmin's level. He was simply no match to compete against the younger boy.
So, Hyunjin promised himself that he would make himself the worthy rival for Kim Seungmin. & Then, he'd win over Seungmin with his own strength.
2.
Hyunjin didn't follow a certain person with the surname 'Kim' to a public middle school. Nope. He didn't.
& He still didn't like that certain Kim.
"Hey, Seungmin. How have you been?" Hyunjin slipped on the empty seat in front of the other boy, who looked up from his book while looking a little lost.
There was glint of recognition in his eyes, which boosted Hyunjin's ego for some reason.
"Hyunjin?" Seungmin straightened up in his seat, looking straight at Hyunjin. "Not bad. How have you been?"
Hyunjin grinned. He leaned a little closer to the table & propped his face on his hands. "As usual. You haven't changed much."
& Hyunjin was right. Seungmin still had his trademark unbothered look, hair still slicked to a side, heavy glasses perched up on his nose. Just the rim was different now.
"Is that so?" Seungmin murmured to himself before nodding back to his book again.
Hyunjin sat there another five minutes, waiting for the boy to say something. Or, at least say something in return to what he just said. But, no. Seungmin was already lost inside his book without any care of impatient Hyunjin sitting in front of him.
Hyunjin felt the familiar burn of irritation crawling up to his head. But he had learnt better than to scream & yell at Seungmin. He simply hid the irritation behind a big smile, before excusing himself from the table. Good thing he didn't wait to hear Seungmin's reply. Otherwise, he might've forgotten how to stay calm at the blunt ignoring of the younger boy.
"Woah?! Hyunjin?! What are you doing here?!" Lee Felix, a classmate & a friend from the elementary school stood in front of his table, looking surprised. Hyunjin wouldn't blame the kid. After all, this was a public middle school. A place where he never ever thought of coming until a week before the admission test.
"Nothing. Just wanted to stick to the common ground rather than going to the private ones. Didn't really like the way private school worked." Hyunjin lied through his teeth.
He had been preparing for one of the most prestigious schools for the last two years of his elementary school. That had been his dream school ever since he paid a visit there with his father to meet his sister's class teacher two years ago.
But then, suddenly just a week before the admission test, he found out that Kim Seungmin wasn't going to any private school. That boy was going to a public school, where the competition was fiercer. Thus, the sudden change of Hyunjin's plan happened. He withdrew his application from the private school & applied in the same public school as Seungmin.
Why?
He needed to beat Seungmin. & He couldn't do that if both of them were in separate schools.
Yes, he was still on his personal mission to beat Kim Seungmin.
First year had been really hectic for Hyunjin. Public school was very much different from what he prepared himself for. But he was lucky that he was smart, so he kinda managed to pull off everything perfectly in the end.
Well, maybe not perfectly, because once again he came 2nd in the year final exam & Seungmin came 1st. Again. Annoyed, he stared at the result board with a raised eyebrow, which was twitching violently. When the girls & boys came to congratulate him, he could only smile at them while he was screaming inside.
Second year into middle school, Hyunjin was still plotting how to beat Kim Seungmin. He even had a handwritten journal with the title "How to beat Kim Seungmin 101".
But yeah… nothing worked yet, & almost half of those 101 ideas turned out flop.
Hyunjin was popular. With both girls & boys. And, he was also naturally shy, no matter how friendly he was. He liked people. He liked the attention that came with his every achievement. But, being in one of the crowds wasn't his forte. So, no matter how many people flocked around him, he only greeted them with the politest & genuine smile of his, & stayed knitted to a few close friends of his- Felix & Jeongin.
If people asked him about Seungmin, he'd often claim that they were good friends. Well, he wasn't the one to embarrass himself with their backstory more than it was necessary. But that being said, Hyunjin & Seungmin only met each other a handful of times during the three years of middle school. They both always somehow ended up in different sections, & it was hard to meet outside later when they were knowingly & unknowingly fighting for the first place again & again. Besides, it's not like Seungmin ever reached out to him first.
It was always Hyunjin who'd go to check up on his rival, only to come back wounded. Because-
- Seungmin never spared him a glance
- Hyunjin would look pathetic if he kept trying like an absolute fool.
Every time he came back after his unsuccessful attempt to rile his enemy up, Hyunjin would be found in the corner of his classroom sulking like a baby.
Obviously not because a certain Kim wasn't giving him attention.
It was just because Hyunjin was unable to piss off the other boy, or get any reaction other than an unbothered one.
"Hey, Hyunjin. What's your type?" Felix had asked him once.
But the thing was- he never really thought about this kind of question. It was true he had plenty of admirers; anyone with eyes could tell by the crowd in the hallways every morning when he'd walk into the school. But he never really thought much of that. He was happy that he was liked by many, but never romanticized it. Intentionally or unintentionally.
Right then his eyes found a familiar figure outside the classroom. Kim Seungmin was walking by his classroom with a heavy book, that looked like it'd weigh 2 kilos at least, without sparing a glance at anyone.
A small pout formed on Hyunjin's lips, unknowingly. Seungmin at least could've said hi to him, couldn't he?
But seeing Seungmin right at that moment made him realize something.
For the last four years, it had always been Seungmin in his mind. His rivalry with that nerd boy took over him completely for him to think about anything else. All he did was chase Kim Seungmin, and kept trying to beat him. Four years, & still nothing.
His pout got bigger. He really didn't like Kim Seungmin.
And he finally found an answer to Felix's question.
"Someone who doesn't look unbothered. Someone who doesn't have their hair slicked to a side. Someone who doesn't wear heavy glasses." Hyunjin replied as his eyes followed Seungmin's lanky figure down the hall. "Someone who isn't smarter than me in everything. & Someone who doesn't ignore my existence."
"Why did that sound like you dissed someone familiar?" Jeongin scratched his head in confusion as he tried hard to remember who exactly Hyunjin was dissing. Felix looked confused as well. But, Hyunjin didn't let them dwell much longer on that & changed the topic in the next second.
They moved to discuss the notes & stuff. Their 2nd year final was almost knocking on the door.
"Oh! You came second again?! Congrats man!" There was no trace of teasing in Felix's voice, but still Hyunjin felt his eyes twitch.
That damn Seungmin came first once again!
3.
"Yah! Kim Seungmin! Where was your phone last night?!" Hyunjin scowled at the other boy, waiting for an explanation.
Seungmin blinked up at him. Once again looking lost at Hyunjin's presence.
"I switched it off & left it in my drawer." He replied as if he had done the most obvious thing to do.
Hyunjin on the other hand felt a headache coming, fast & bad. Seriously. What did he expect from the nerdy Kim?! Hyunjin wasn't violent. He was far from that. But that moment, he couldn't help but to want to hit some sense into the younger boy's thick skull.
Who would buy a phone to keep it inside the drawer?!
Apparently, Kim Seungmin.
Hyunjin couldn't believe he had wasted a whole day trying to convince this boy to get a phone for emergency, only for the idiot not to use it.
***Flashback to last Sunday***
“Sorry! I am late!”
Hyunjin turned back to look at the source of the voice. He was about to reply that he hadn't been waiting for long, but words died in his throat when his eyes finally found the familiar figure.
Wearing a pair of white pants & a thin yellow sweater. There was a cute white beret sitting on his head.
In simple words, Kim Seungmin looked cute as hell.
& Hyunjin was malfunctioning.
“Ahm…uh- it's okay! Just… Let's go." Hyunjin stuttered miserably as his ears turned bright pink.
He couldn't believe it. He was finding his rival cute. He decided to avoid looking at the clueless boy walking beside him. For the safety of his own heart & mind. Ten minutes later, both boys were found looking for a mobile for Seungmin.
The thing was that Hyunjin wanted to make Seungmin fall for him as part of the plan of winning against Seungmin. A few weeks ago, he suddenly overheard a few boys in the school washroom, who were saying that falling in love first meant losing. & The dumb Hwang found another hope to win against the smart Kim.
If Hyunjin couldn't win against Seungmin in studies, he would win against the boy in love. He was gonna make Seungmin fall in love with him & then would brutally reject him to prove his point. It was a dumb plan. He was still in denial, or maybe unconscious of his own feelings.
And, little did he know, his undefined feelings for Seungmin would never let him stop thinking about his rival, let alone rejecting him. He was far too gone down the rabbit hole to do that.
But of course, still confused by his own feelings, Hyunjin approached the other boy again saying he needed help with his studies. Seungmin being Seungmin, just accepted it. But not without asking what he was gonna gain from it.
Hyunjin didn’t even delay in offering to buy Seungmin's time stating that in that way the latter didn't need to work part-time in the convenience store after school. Which was enough to convince Seungmin & led the pair to exchange their addresses & contact info. It was then that Hyunjin found out Seungmin didn't have a mobile.
Why?
That idiot said he didn't feel like he needed it ever.
So, Hyunjin took the matter into his own hand to impress Seungmin by buying him a phone. He spent a whole day to convince Seungmin why he needed one (Of course he had to pay for that one hour because he didn't let Seungmin go to his job again!) & Finally, the boy agreed when Hyunjin brought up his mom that she might get worried when the boy had to stay out for part-time jobs.
“This one is good Seungmin! It is the latest model that came out a few days ago.” Hyunjin grinned, holding the phone to the other boy.
“Can you please show me one with fewer functions? Thank you.”
Hyunjin was bluntly ignored as the shop assistant showed Seungmin some old modeled phones with fewer functions. In the end, the boy ended up buying that with his own money, surprising Hyunjin once again.
For a while, Hyunjin really forgot how Seungmin was. Of course, the boy wouldn't take his money. He was never the type to get swooned over other people's money.
A small smile unknowingly tugged on the corners of Hyunjin's lips as he silently watched the younger boy going through the manual book of the phone. They were waiting for their lunch in a restaurant. & Knowing Seungmin would want to pay his bill again, Hyunjin decided to go somewhere that wouldn't cost the boy much from his hard-earned money.
Seungmin had never been the one to run after others & things that weren't his, to begin with. He was never like those giggling girls & boys in their school, who always expected something from Hyunjin in return for their friendship. But Seungmin- he didn't even want that.
How ironic.
The only person Hyunjin was chasing after, was out of his reach.
“Lix, have you seen Seungmin?”
Hyunjin scanned the whole classroom & frowned when he couldn't find his rival/crush. After he gave Seungmin a short lecture on why one shouldn’t turn off his phone, the boy excused himself to revise the notes for their history exam. And that was around 10 minute ago. So, he expected to find the boy here, in their class.
Yes, they were finally put together in the same section for their last year in middle school. & Hyunjin had spent a whole day thanking every deity up there after finding out about it.
“Kim Seungmin? I saw him leaving with Renjun from class B.”
Huang Renjun? That Chinese transferee? But why?
“Are they friends?” Hyunjin asked with a confused frown on his face. He didn't know Seungmin had any friends other than him (well, he wasn't even sure if the younger boy considered him as a friend. Yet). But he was sure that he hadn't seen those two together before.
Felix shook his head in amusement.
“I don't think so. It's most probably a confession. I heard some rumors about Renjun liking your nerd friend.”
What the actual fuck?!
By the time Seungmin was back to class, Hyunjin was on the edge. He tried to decipher what was going inside the boy's mind by observing the latter's face as he walked back to his seat.
But in vain, Seungmin had his infamous resting bitch face on.
The mere thought about Seungmin liking someone else, agreeing to date someone other than him was way too much for Hyunjin. If it really did happen, there would be utter chaos, at least inside his heart.
But why? Why was he feeling so restless about it?
Because I want him to fall for me!
Why?
B-because… I need to win! I will win against Seungmin when he falls for me & I'll break his heart-
Are you sure?
.........Not anymore. I don't think I want to win anymore.
“-jin? Hwang Hyunjin!”
Seungmin's loud voice brought Hyunjin back from stupor. He, wide eyed, looked up at the other boy who was towering over him with a frown.
“I think we should stop for today. You are out of it."
Hyunjin only nodded in reply & started to gather his books, still in a daze.
“I’ll leave first then. Bye” Seungmin was about to leave when Hyunjin suddenly scrambled on his feet.
“DON'T TURN OFF YOUR PHONE AGAIN!” he sent a small glare at the younger male, who cutely tilted his head to a side in confusion.
“Uh...? Will you call me today?”
That question caught Hyunjin off guard, making his ears turned red.
“Me?! Nah! I have better things to do other than calling you. Haha." Hyunjin mentally cringed at how awkward he just sounded.
You're a fucking dumbass Hwang Hyunjin.
Seungmin silently stared at him for a few more seconds, before giving a small nod.
“If you say so, Hyunjin. Bye.”
10:00 pm of that Night
“I thought you have better things to do, Hyunjin."
Hyunjin's ears heated up again.
“.......shut up! I do!” He grumbled in return, but didn't drop the call. He had no intention of doing that from the beginning.
“.... Okay. Then what do you need?” Seungmin asked. Hyunjin could hear the scratching sound of his pencil against the paper in the background.
“Why was Renjun looking for you?” He dared to ask, one hand nervously playing with the hem of his sweat shirt.
“None of your business.” Came Seungmin's blunt reply, making Hyunjin sit straight on his bed.
“IT IS MY-” he was about to start whining when Seungmin stopped him.
“Hyunjin, I have better things to do other than talking to you. Bye.” & Then the boy dropped the call.
Hyunjin blankly stared at his phone. Trying to process what just happened.
Did he just hang up on me?!
The Next Morning.....
Single Debate Competition Result
1st Place – Kim Seungmin, 3rd year
2nd Place – Hwang Hyunjin, 3rd year
FUCK YOU KIM SEUNGMIN!
4.
Hyunjin's eyes twinkled like stars & lips stretched in a pretty smile as Seungmin walked inside the classroom. He twirled the ballpen between his fingers as the other boy took the seat in front of him.
Yes, once again he had followed Seungmin to the high school, & luckily this time they both were placed in the same section from the beginning.
Hyunjin's usual seat wasn't the one behind Seungmin. It was actually near the window at the back But, he somehow managed to convince Mr. Jung saying that he was tired of the boys & girls fawning over him. He wanted someone around him who wouldn't disturb him during the classes. Their class teacher immediately agreed, hoping this way he could take the class in peace too. Which resulted in Hyunjin sitting behind his frenemy Kim Seungmin.
“Good morning, Minnie~”
Hyunjin's cheery voice rang out in the classroom, making Seungmin look back. The corners of his lips curved up in a cute smile as his eyes almost turned into half-moons in acknowledgement, making Hyunjin's heart flip once again.
“Good morning, Jinnie."
If you noticed- they were now on nickname basis. Hyunjin had started using Minnie even before they stepped in high school, though Seungmin took time to get used to it & call Hyunjin by a nickname. The boy even asked him if he should call him Hyunnie or Jinnie. But at that point, Hyunjin was far beyond cloud nine. He would take anything Seungmin was willing to give him.
They were now in their 2nd year of high school. Almost 6years of their friendship or maybe rivalry. A lot of things changed in these 6years, & a lot didn't.
Seungmin didn't wear thick rimmed glasses anymore, nor did he slick his hair to the side. He was still the same though, unbothered face & blank steely eyes with no smile (Hyunjin was an exception now!). He still kept to himself most of the time, he still blocked out everything when he was occupied with his studies. He still didn't care what was happening around him. & He was still coming first in everything. But one thing had changed in his life recently. He had a friend now. He had Hyunjin.
On the other hand, Hyunjin hadn't really changed much either. He was still an introvert & cheery one. He still had the prince aura. Puberty hit him in the best way possible. His good looks were topped with more charm & beauty as he was growing up to a fine young man. So, it's unnecessary to mention that he still attracted people like moth to fire wherever he went.
But something did change in him. He wasn't into competition anymore. He didn't think of Seungmin as his rival anymore. He had long accepted his defeat in that competition, but started a new game instead. One last game with Seungmin, one he couldn't afford to lose no matter what.
One last game where Hyunjin needed Seungmin to fall in love with him, just like he fell for the boy.
He didn’t know when things changed. When did fondness start to grow inside his heart like a little sprout? When did it grow so big that his arrogance and competitiveness against Seungmin were overshadowed by his fondness & care for the younger?
Was it when Seungmin had first smiled at Hyunjin with his teary grateful eyes when he took the younger's mother to the hospital after an accident? Or was it when Hyunjin described his type in middle school to Felix & Jeongin?
Or, maybe it was when Seungmin told him that he didn't care if Hyunjin was rich or not.
Or maybe, it was the day Seungmin introduced himself in front of the whole class.
It might have started from then. Because when Hyunjin thought about it, Kim Seungmin never left his mind ever since then. Whether it was because of his one-sided rivalry or his unknown feelings toward the boy, Hyunjin really didn’t care about it anymore. All he could care about was only if Seungmin tried to look at him the way he looked at the boy.
But that was the fact. Would Seungmin ever look back at him like that?
Nope!
Not when there's a huge-ass book in front of Kim Seungmin. But, Hyunjin should be happy right? At least, Seungmin's eyes were on books, not some other girl or boy. That was the only comfort Hyunjin could provide his beaten heart.
But he was getting impatient. From observing Seungmin for six years, he could tell that their story wasn't even gonna start until Hyunjin did something. Because, the younger boy was literally blind when it came to Hyunjin's blunt feelings & crush toward him. So, starting from the first class of 2nd year Hyunjin decided to take the matter on his hands.
Thus, the project “Overwhelming Kim Seungmin with Hwang Hyunjin's Love” started.
“Minnie~”
“Hmm...?”
“Minnieeee~"
“Hmm...?”
A pout automatically found its way to Hyunjin's lips when Seungmin made no effort to look back at him; busy with revising material for their next class. But Hyunjin was happy, only a tiny bit, because at least now the younger boy wouldn't block him out while studying, which he did to everyone else. Hyunjin would say this was a big achievement.
“Can I get a candy?”
“No.”
“Pleaaaaasee Minnie!!!" Hyunjin whined from behind, "I only had one this morning! Then you confiscated them all!" He accused the younger boy with a finger jabbing to the latter's back. But Seungmin made no move to look back or give him back his candies.
"Seungmin-ahh.... Just one! Pleaseeeeeeee” He whined a little louder.
“No. It's not healthy for you.” Seungmin nonchalantly replied, ending the conversation right there.
The younger of the two went back focusing on correcting his English notes. Hyunjin's bottom lip was jutted out more as the pout on his grew bigger before suddenly a lightbulb went off inside his head. He grinned mischievously & leaned forward, so what he was about to say could be heard by only him & Seungmin.
“Fine I won't ask for them anymore.... Only....if u say." He toned down his voice in a whisper suddenly, "You'll date me.”
No reply. Hyunjin tilted his head to get a better view of the younger boy & pouted again when he saw Seungmin was still absorbed in his English notes.
Did he block me again?
“Minniee! Say you'll date meeeee. Then I won't ask for the candies! I swear!”
Hyunjin tried again with adding a bit of whine at the end.
“I will date you.”
Hyunjin's breath hitched as soon as his mind processed what just happened. He was just trying to annoy the younger boy. He wasn't really expecting things to take a fucking turn like this!
“Seung- WAIT! WHAT?! FOR REAL?!” He exclaimed in surprise, eyes wide & face covered in bright pink dusts.
Was this really that easy?!
“Of course not. You just asked me to say it, so I said it. Now keep your promise.” Seungmin snorted, before going back to his notes once again for the nth time of the day.
After that Hyunjin sat there blankly for a few minutes, processing his stupidity & Seungmin's smartness. Kim fucking Seungmin managed to beat him again, & blew away his confession for the hundredth times in just two months.
That cruel bastard!
“But will you date me… Ever?” Hyunjin dared to ask as they were walking to Seungmin's part-time job after school. His heart was already in a mess as he waited for the younger boy's reply.
Seungmin's lips pressed in a thin line, as if he was thinking about it. & Truthfully, it hyped up Hyunjin's dancing heart in hope. Seungmin was thinking about the possibility of them
But the hype soon left through his parted lips, & heart decided to sit back instead of dancing as soon as he heard Seungmin the next moment.
“I don't need a pet." Seungmin nodded as if he had reached to a conclusion of his thoughts. And, then he left behind a frozen Hyunjin in the middle of the road.
THAT'S IT! FUCK YOU KIM SEUNGMIN!!!
“Hyunjin!”
“Oh Hi Yoona! Do you need something?”
“I- Here! Take this! This is for you!”
Yoona, another 2 nd year student from a different section, just shoved a small square shaped box & an envelope toward Hyunjin before she ran back to her class hurriedly. He didn't miss the bright blush sporting the girl's face. Nor he misunderstood the reason behind the girl's action.
Hyunjin could hear his friends & classmates chattering loudly that he might have gotten another confession, which was the 7th one in this one month. His smile never left his face as he shook his head in amusement, before slowly padding toward his seat behind Seungmin. The boy was still engrossed in his assignment, oblivious of what just happened a few seconds ago.
Hyunjin pouted again.
“Minnie! Look at me!”
Hyunjin called out the other with mock urgency in his voice, making Seungmin look back at him immediately with wide questioning eyes, clearly startled at the urgency in his voice.
“I got asked out... Again.”
Hyunjin said it out loud enough that everyone around them heard him. And, within a few seconds the whole class went quiet. All eagerly waiting for Seungmin's reaction.
It was no secret to anyone that Hyunjin liked Seungmin more than a best friend. But it was also no secret that Seungmin was a dumb idiot, a lost case in the matter of love. He never noticed Hyunjin's obvious flirting with him, & always ruined the moment by saying something totally non-related stuffs.
For example, once Hyunjin asked Seungmin in front of the whole cafeteria to go out with him.
& Seungmin being the oblivious idiot that he was, asked “Where to?” thinking his best friend needed company to go somewhere.
So yeah, the whole class was now looking at the couple of best friends, as they waited for the dumbest one of the two to answer. Half waiting for the clownery that was about to happen, half waiting for Seungmin to finally realize that people were asking his Jinnie out on dates.
Hyunjin bit his lips in nervousness when he noticed something flashing in Seungmin's almond eyes before the boy stole a glance at the lunch box & the envelope in his hand.
“They made you lunch?" Seungmin asked, & Hyunjin nodded hurriedly.
Finally, Seungmin was noticing-
"Great...Share your lunch with me then, as you have two now. I don't wanna waste my money on cafeteria food.”
Or, maybe not. Again.
With that Seungmin went back to his notes & blocked everything out again.
& Poor Hyunjin, dumbfounded stared at the lunch box he received a few minutes ago while the whole classroom groaned out, clearly fed up with Seungmin's dumbness.
Did I just........lose to a lunchbox?!
5.
“Go out on a date with, Jisung”
Hyunjin, stupefied, stared at his best friend who was still eating like he didn't drop a bomb just now.
Han Jisung?! What the fuck?!
Did he hear it wrong? Did Seungmin ask him to go on a date with Jisung?!
“He asked me last day to help him with you. He said he likes you.”
Oh…
Hyunjin knew Jisung liked him more than a friend. And for that, he had been subtly avoiding the male hoping Jisung would take the hint.
But, clearly, Jisung didn't understand anything.
& Here was Seungmin, asking Hyunjin to go on a date. With someone who wasn't him.
Then... what about... us?
“And you agreed to help him?” Hyunjin asked in a small dejected voice as he put back his spoons on the plate. He didn't feel like eating anymore. He wasn't even sure if he was able to mask the disappointment in his voice.
But even if he was able to do that, he couldn't hide the pain painting on his face as his best friend nodded in affirmation, still looking down at his lunch.
“I know I never said anything about all those people who tried to ask you out. But Jisung, he's different. I know the two of you didn't really start on good terms, but in last one year you both had grew up a lot. He cares about you a lot. & Anyone with eyes could confirm that for you." Seungmin reasoned, & Hyunjin knew his friend was right.
But- it didn't matter if Jisung liked him more than a friend or not. Hyunjin liked Seungmin, & just like Seungmin said- anyone with eyes could tell how much in love Hyunjin was with his best friend. Except Seungmin.
"I've seen you rejecting people all these years. & I never found any of them as a good match for you. But Jisung- I really think he'll be good for you.” Seungmin finally looked up at Hyunjin & frowned when he saw the other was looking down at his food, playing with it with his spoon.
“Jinnie, I'd never force you into anything. You know that. I just felt like Jisung can make you happy. You can give him a chance, right? I think I know you well enough to say that Jisung is your type."
Do you really know me, Minnie?
Seungmin tilted his head slightly to catch Hyunjin's eyes, but the older boy still didn't lookup up. Just nodded slightly, as if he was trying to make himself understand. It didn't sit well with him.
"But- if you don't wanna go I can tell him that too, Jinnie. I can just-"
“No, it's okay. I've been rejecting people all my life now. I think I should give myself & Jisung a chance.” Hyunjin faked a smile at Seungmin, who was looking at him with a worried frown on his forehead.
You look at me like that, yet can't see anything.
Hyunjin shoved a spoonful of fried rice in his mouth unwillingly. The last thing he wanted was to say something out of the line & then cry his eyes out.
"Are you sure?" Seungmin asked, worry evident in his voice.
“Yeah, I'll go.” Hyunjin grinned.
Hyunjin stared at his reflection in the full-length mirror in his room. Fixing his hair for one last time with a frown marred on his forehead, he proceeded to curse Seungmin out of rage.
DUMB KIM SEUNGMIN.
IDIOT ALIEN DOG.
STUPID IDIOT FUCKER.
HE SET ME UP ON A DATE WITH SOMEONE ELSE.
DOES HE FEEL NOTHING?!
Hyunjin was mad. No, furious.
He was actually beyond furious. After all these years Seungmin only saw him as a friend. How could a person be so dumb?!
Did Seungmin really feel nothing for him while Hyunjin felt fireworks in his stomach every single time he saw and thought about the other?!
THAT STUPID DOG!
Fine. He wants me to go on a date?! Then, I'll just fucking go on one!
Hyunjin liked Han Jisung. If anything, that boy might be his second closest friend after Felix. Seungmin didn't count on his friend list by the way. & Jeongin was practically his child. He just needed to sign the adoption papers.
Hyunjin & Jisung started on the wrong foot. They were immature & childish enough to start fighting over just a coffee, which belonged to Jisung, & a white tee of Hyunjin, which got stained with Jisung's coffee.
It was the middle of their first year in university. They both were pretty fucked up with the new club applications & spontaneous exams every fucking week. It was pretty hard to adjust to university life, even for him & Seungmin. So, Hyunjin should have known Jisung was most probably the same as him, if not worse.
But when you're stressed you barely can think about other people & their reasons. They both were being clumsy after a long day of club work, & they both weren't looking where they were going. Both of them were at fault,
Hyunjin, for wasting Jisung's coffee in the hallway, & Jisung, for ruining Hyunjin's t-shirt.
But they were stressed & didn't want to be the bigger person at that moment. & Ended up arguing like children. It was Minho & Changbin, both his & Jisung's common friends, who stopped them from breaking out in a physical fight over something so small. Needless to say, Seungmin wasn't quite happy with him & had lectured him into apologizing to Han Jisung. Jisung was also lectured by Minho to apologize to him.
But that didn't mean they were fine. They kept throwing harmless insults & annoying pranks at each other until one day they both broke out in mad laughter, realizing how similar they were. That was the beginning of their friendship.
They both were attached to hips if Hyunjin wasn't with Seungmin. Jisung was kind & caring, unlike the asshole Hyunjin thought him to be at the beginning. He was sweet and loved to make people smile. He had this aura around him that his mere presence could make anyone's day better, just like Felix.
Hyunjin wasn't blind, nor he was dumb like Seungmin on the matter of romantic feelings. He knew Jisung started to like him by the beginning of their second year at the university. He could feel the weight of the fond gaze of Jisung whenever the younger boy was around him. Besides, Jisung wasn't being subtle either. He was quite vocal & blunt about his feelings toward Hyunjin.
& Hyunjin had an idea that Jisung also knew about his crush on Seungmin. Then why was that idiot asked for Seungmin's help in the first place?!
Hyunjin didn't know. But he was planning to find out today- at his date with Jisung.
But, he couldn't.
Why?
Because Jisung never came.
“Seungmin? What are you doing here?” Hyunjin asked, surprised & shocked, both, to see Seungmin sitting down on the chair where Jisung was supposed to sit. He even brought his books with him.
“I came to keep you company as Jisung isn't coming here anymore.” Seungmin simply explained as he started to open his books like it was the most normal thing to do.
"Huh?!" Hyunjin squeaked out loud. Did he get stood up?!
Apparently, no. Seungmin told Jisung that Hyunjin wasn't interested in dating right now. & He also never mentioned that Hyunjin said yes to the date.
Why?
"Last day in the cafeteria… you looked like you wanted me to stop you from going on this date."
Wasn't Hyunjin lucky to have Seungmin in his life?
20 minutes later~
“Jinnie, help me out with this.”
Seungmin pushed his notebook toward Hyunjin, who put down his coffee & leaned forward to get a better look at the problem.
“Oh, this? It's the 4th law. Here, lemme show you."
Hyunjin took the pen from Seungmin's hand & started scribing down the answer in the notebook. He was so focused on math that he failed to notice his best friend staring at his face with a slight frown.
Seungmin pursed his lips in a thin line before suddenly he stood up, startling the older boy. Hyunjin looked up with a worried frown on his face.
"Min? What happened?" Hyunjin asked, not understanding what was wrong with his best friend.
“Let's go," Seungmin replied with a straight face.
“Huh? What- where?” Hyunjin got more confused.
Seungmin silently arranged his notes & books with Hyunjin's help, before shoving them inside his shoulder bag. Hyunjin was still lost at what was happening, and before he could utter another single word he was grabbed by the wrist by the other boy.
He could only follow like a confused puppy as Seungmin pulled him out of the cafe, & then dragged him in a different direction. Soon, they both ended up in the familiar area of Seungmin's neighborhood.
“Minnie? Why are we here?”
Hyunjin asked, as soon as they both stopped in front of Seungmin's house. Rhe younger one was still holding his hand as the boh used his free hand to dig out the key from his pants pocket. Without reply, Seungmin opened the door & tugged Hyunjin inside.
Hyunjin, confused & worried, let the other boy guide him to the kitchen area. He silently watched as Seungmin finally let him go, & pulled a chair as he motioned Hyunjin to sit there.
“Seungmin-ah. You are worrying me. Is everything okay?” Hyunjin asked for the nth time. But got a reply that didn't answer his question.
“What do you wanna eat?”
Hyunjin, dumbfounded, stared at the younger male as the latter slipped on the familiar cute cooking apron & tied the laces on his back. Seungmin didn’t even spare a single glance at him as he took out a pan & a pot from the cabinets, & then proceeded to search his fridge to check what ingredients he had there.
“Have you decided yet?” Seungmin asked again, face still buried inside the fridge. He was going through all the spices, jars, meats & vegetables inside it, making Jaemin more confused about the ongoing situation.
“I am- fine with anything?”
Hyunjin's answer came out more like a question itself, confused as hell. Seungmin chuckled at that. He grabbed a few vegetables & pork from the fridge, before moving to wash the veggies in the sink.
“Think of it as a friendly date.” Seungmin finally answered in a gentle voice.
Wait… what?
Hyunjin could only blink as he stared at the back of his best friend. The sight was familiar. Years ago, they both were in the same position when Hyunjin first came to this house with a high fever. This was where things started to change.
“I don’t know what people do on their dates, so uh-” Seungmin stuttered as his ears suddenly started to burn in bright pink.
He wasn't used to this. Friendly date or not. This was way out of Seungmin's comfort zone. & Still, he was doing this for Hyunjin. Just because he thought Hyunjin was upset?
Hyunjin felt like he was dreaming. It wasn't exactly the date he wanted with Seungmin, but this was more than enough to set the butterflies in his stomach free. To Seungmin, it wasn't maybe anything special, but to him, it was far more than special. To have someone who cared enough for you to go out of his comfort zone- Hyunjin was sure not many people had someone like that in their lives.
If this didn't show how much Seungmin cared for him, then nothing would.
Hyunjin didn't know about Seungmin, but he'd consider this as a real date, at least for now.
Hyunjin soon joined the younger to help prepare lunch for their friendly date. At first, Seungmin insisted that he could manage alone, but Hyunjin didn't listen to him. & Ultimately the younger boy shook his head in defeat, & let Hyunjin help him.
Around an hour later, both Hyunjin & Seungmin sat opposite each other at the table with steaming food in front of them. They savored the dishes as they talked about random stuff.
It was actually Hyunjin who did all the talking & Seungmin only listened with slight nods to let the older boy know that he was indeed listening. Hyunjin offered to do the dishes while Seungmin cleaned the table before both of them crashed into the younger’s bed.
Hyunjin found it too domestic when Seungmin asked him if he wanted to do something else like watching a movie or playing something even though the younger never did any of it. But for him, Seungmin was willing to do it. He was willing to break his usual chain routine of studying & being in his world.
Hyunjin felt warm in his heart at the thought of Seungmin prioritizing him only for a day. It was more than enough for him.
Hyunjin silently stared at the sleeping boy with a small smile. Seungmin had drifted off to sleep around 10 minutes ago while he was listening to Hyunjin's rant about his major. Until he wasn't anymore. The boy was most probably tired from restless studying & from the multiple part-time jobs.
Hyunjin shuffled a bit closer to the sleeping boy until there was only a few inches gap between their faces. He was in awe at how beautiful Seungmin was. His eyes traced from the younger's closed eyes to his thin lips as he took in every detail. He was almost about to touch Seungmin's face thinking how smooth the skin would feel on his finger pads.
But he didn't want to wake up Seungmin either. He slowly retracted his hand back to himself. Seungmin needed to rest & Hyunjin was gonna let him. He mentally cooed when the younger boy suddenly scrunched his nose for a few seconds before going back to the neutral face.
Hyunjin wondered if Seungmin was dreaming right now. If he was, then was Hyunjin there in his dream?
On second thought, he didn't want Seungmin to dream right now. There was a saying that one couldn’t get proper sleep if he saw a dream. Hyunjin would rather Seungmin had proper sleep, instead of dreaming of him.
And, when Seungmin would wake up, he would find Hyunjin with him.
He wasn't gonna leave Seungmin behind.
Ever.
+1
Hyunjin wondered if it was a sign or not- his flight getting delayed. Did the universe want him to rethink his decision? Maybe confront Seungmin?
He exhaled disappointedly. What was he gonna confront Seungmin about? Was he gonna ask why the boy was avoiding him? or, why did he run away seeing Hyunjin on the other end of the hall? Or, why the boy hadn’t picked up any of Hyunjin’s worried desperate calls for the past few weeks?
Maybe Seungmin already knew. Maybe he had found out about Hyunjin’s feelings & didn’t know how to reject him? Maybe that’s why he was avoiding Hyunjin. So that Hyunjin would get the hint & just stop the chase.
Hyunjin’s heart felt heavy. Eyes slightly wet. Ten years of him looking only at Seungmin, only for the boy to never look back at him. Ten years of his chasing Kim Seungmin, losing his heart little by little in the process. Never in his life, had he imagined that his chasing was gonna stop like this; this love game would end like this.
A dry chuckle escaped past his lips.
Hwang Hyunjin was a loser.
Seungmin was biting his nail as he waited outside the business department. He was nervous. He was worried. He didn’t know how to approach Hyunjin, his best friend, after ghosting him for the last few weeks.
Was Hyunjin mad? Was he gonna yell at Seungmin? What if he didn’t want to be Seungmin’s friend anymore?!
The mere thought of not having Hyunjin in his life was distressing. Back in their first year of university, he had a breakdown when he thought Hyunjin didn’t want to be his friend anymore. It hurt a lot. Why? He didn’t know. It was then that he realized that Hyunjin had become an integral part of his life. Without the older boy, he felt empty & alone. How the taller boy had become such an important person for him, Seungmin really didn’t know.
“Maybe because you two practically grew up together? I can’t remember a time when you two were apart for a longer time actually”
Felix was right. When Seungmin thought of it, he realized Hyunjin had always been there for him for the past ten years. Maybe they weren’t close, but he never failed to notice the small face & gleeful smile on the other side of the class or the hallway.
What was his first thought of Hyunjin?
A little egoistic, but a kind boy.
Hyunjin had been a kind soul from the very beginning. While the kids from his elementary school often made fun of him, Hyunjin never uttered a single shit about him. If anything, the young Hyunjin had defended him multiple times, even though he mostly acted like he didn’t care about Seungmin.
Hyunjin had been competitive, yes. A little arrogant? Yes. But he never looked down on people. He had earned everything with his hard work. He never disregarded someone else’s feelings or took advantage of anyone’s weakness. They had been together long enough for Seungmin to know.
Hyunjin was kind, a little dumb sometimes, friendly, and a little shy but confident at the same time. Hwang Hyunjin was everything that Seungmin wasn’t. They were polar opposites. No matter how socially constipated Seungmin was, Hyunjin never let him stand alone. From the beginning until now, he stood by Seungmin. As a rival, as a role model, as a mentor, as a friend.
It was bound to happen. To grow unknown, unfamiliar yet heart-fluttering feelings for a person like Hyunjin. He watched hundreds look in Hyunjin’s way, eyes filled with tiny little hearts. There were plenty who admired the boy. There were plenty who had confessed to the boy. But every single time Hyunjin had turned them down. Seungmin often wondered at those times, why his best friend rejected every one. But he never tried to pry. He waited for the day when Hyunjin would be comfortable enough to talk about it on his own.
Maybe Seungmin had taken Hyunjin in his life for granted. Maybe he never realized that Hyunjin’s heart could change one day & he’d find someone who wasn’t Seungmin. The first time he felt the ugly feelings twirling inside his chest was when he saw Hyunjin with Jisung. That time he didn’t understand why his heart felt heavy, or why watching them walk on the busy street of Seoul squeezed his heart so painfully. It was the time when he had a breakdown. All he knew was that Hyunjin finding someone else meant Seungmin was gonna replaced. He though all those tears, confusion & heartache came from the fear of losing his only friend.
The second time it happened when Changbin came into the picture. It took him by surprise when their older friend came to him & asked if Seungmin liked Hyunjin. Startled & caught off-guard, he had told the older boy that he was just Hyunjin’s best friend.
“Are you okay with me asking him out? Are you sure it’s just friendship Seungimin?”
Changbin had asked him. Seungmin didn’t know what to answer. Was he? Wasn’t it just friendship?
To wait for a text every morning from Hyunjin? To feel happy & contained with the older boy by his side? To wish to have Hyunjin beside him forever? Was it just friendship to feel his heart getting warm, trying to leap out of his ribcage whenever Hyunjin would smile at him? or, hold his hand, dragging him to the pet cafes even though the boy was allergic to furs, all because Seungmin liked animals? Was it friendship to stare at his sleeping friend for hours, mapping his face with utmost fondness during their sleepovers?
It wasn’t. Seungmin knew he shouldn’t feel all these for his friend. And, it scared him.
He didn’t want to lose Hyunjin. He had seen Jisung & Hyunjin’s friendship almost falling out because there was a romantic feeling involved. What if one day it happened to them? To him & Hyunjin? What if he acted on his feelings & then lose Hyunjin forever? He couldn’t be that lucky that Hyunjin would also like him back, right? Hyunjin would reject him & then things would go awkward between them.
Seungmin didn’t want to stand among those hundred broken-hearted & watch Hyunjin from afar.
The realization hit him badly. Bad enough to avoid Hyunjin. For the past two weeks, he had been making up excuses & bailing himself out from every place & event where his best friend would be. He stopped receiving his phone, not knowing how to act normally. He just wanted to give himself a little time. But he forgot in that way he was hurting his friend as well in the process.
If it hadn’t been Felix & Jisung coming to his home last night & knocking some sense into his thick head, Seungmin might have been sulking around in his classes today as well.
“Hyunjin is upset. He keeps looking around for you.”
“Seungmin, you’re my friend. But I’m not gonna sit back & watch you hurt Hyunjin like this. I didn’t give up on him for you to fuck up like this!”
“You’re not like this, Seung. You’re not the one to be scared of saying what you want. Just tell him. So that you won’t regret it later.”
“You’ve been friends for ten years, but still you don’t know a lot about him Seungmin. He’d never hurt you.”
Jisung was right. So was Felix. It took him the whole night of crying in his friends’ arms to get back to his sense. So, the first thing he did after coming to university was looking for Hyunjin. But the boy was nowhere to be found. Thinking the older was in some class, Seungmin decided to wait outside the older’s department. And, it has been one hour since then.
Maybe he’s with Jeongin? Or, Minho? He could call them &- No. He could just call Hyunjin & ask where he was.
With a deep breath & firm determination, Seungmin called the other boy. But the call didn’t go through. Hyunjin’s phone was turned off for some reason.
He called Jeongin next. But the boy also didn’t know where Hyunjin was.
Then he called Minho, who received the call in two seconds.
“Hyung, is Hyunjin with you?” Seungmin asked eagerly as he walked away from the business department. But Minho kept silent before he let out a heavy sigh.
“Seungmin, please tell me you’re back to your senses & want to fix the shit going on between you two.”
Seungmin halted on his step. Had Hyunjin told Minho about it? Was he that upset with Seungmin? He should be.
“I need to talk to him about that, hyung. And, I can’t find him any-”
“He’s leaving, Seungmin. I just dropped him off at the airport. His flight is in an hour.” Minho sighed from the other end, “Maybe you should try calling him? I’m not sure if you can make it here within-”
Seungmin dropped the call. His hands were trembling while his heart was racing. Hyunjin was leaving. Without telling him.
Hyunjin was leaving & Seungmin didn’t get to tell him.
“Tell him, so you won’t regret it later.”
Felix’s voice rang inside his head. He had to tell Hyunjin.
Hyunjin was still confused. Should he really leave like this? or, should he at least confess? So that he wouldn’t regret it later?
He started at his phone, thinking about what to do.
“I like this thing about you.” Seungmin smiled at Hyunjin. “You always make sure to not have any regret. I wish I could be like you.”
Seungmin had told him this during the end of their fourth semester when Hyunjin had sought out Jisung & talked out how he still wanted to be friends. Hyunjin couldn’t sleep properly knowing he was slowly losing a good friend of his just because they both were being awkward after the rejection.
So, what if Seungmin rejected him? What if he’s feelings were never returned? He knew Seungmin liked him, even though as a friend. He’d just simply learn to stay just as a best friend.
He turned on his phone & called Seungmin. He held his breath as the phone started ringing.
Please pick up the call. Please don’t-
“Jinnie?!” Seungmin sounded surprised.
“Hey, Minnie.” A small nervous smile curled up on Hyunjin’s lips. It had been over two weeks since he last heard Seungmin’s voice.
“Where are y-”
“Seungmin. Listen to me, please? I don’t have much time.” Hyunjin requested. He needed to tell him. Now. Before he lost his courage. Besides he could hear the boarding announcement for his flight. He needed to go soon.
Seungmin went quiet. But he was breathing hard. Like he was running or something. Hyunjin could also hear Jisung & Felix’s voices in the background. He chose to ignore the commotion at the other end & get done with it.
“I like you. For quite a while now.” Hyunjin breathed, feeling less burdened now that he finally said it. But his heart was still beating fast. A part of him was still scared of the outcome. “More than as a friend.” His voice shook a little as he looked down at his other hand. “I just needed to tell you this before I leave. I don’t want to have any regret. I don’t want live with the fact that I could’ve told you, but I didn’t.” he closed his eyes, & took a deep breath. Seungmin was still silent amid chaos.
“And, it’s perfectly alright if you don’t like me that way. We can just stay like how we have been all these years. I’m fine with just being your frie-”
“Hyunjin.” Seungmin interrupted Hyunjin’s ramble.
Hyunjin took a deep breath & tried to calm down his scared racing heart. “-Yeah?”
“Just stay where you are. Don’t move a single inch from your seat. And, don’t you fucking dare to leave me behind.”
Hyunjin blinked. “Seungmin, I-”
Seungmin dropped the call, leaving Hyunjin to stare at his phone in slight disappointment. He was about to call again when they announced once again, asking the passengers for the next flight to get in the line near gate 2.
With a defeated sigh, he got up on his feet & grabbed his handbag. He should just go & spend some alone time to get off his heartbreak. Seungmin would understand, wouldn’t he?
“There he is!” “Oh my God! That idiot is leaving!” “Hyunjin!”
Hyunjin heard a few familiar voices yelling & calling his name behind him as he was about to walk to the line.
Felix? Jisung? Minho?
Confused, he looked back. His eyes widened at the sight of his friends, & his crush/best friend who he was talking to just a minute ago. But before he could understand anything, Kim Seungmin was throwing himself in his arms. Hyunjin barely managed to catch the boy; startled, he looked at the other three who stopped a few feet away from them.
Felix & Jisung were heaving like they have ran a mile. Then there was also Minho who was grinning at them. He looked relieved for some reason?
Didn’t he leave an hour or two ago?! & What the hell was his friends & Seungmin doing here?!
“I told you not to move! I told you not to leave me behind!” Seungmin’s voice was shaking as he held onto Hyunjin for dear life. He was scared that he was late. & He should be. According to Minho, Hyunjin’s flight was 20 minutes ago. Jisung had literally broken multiple traffic signals just to make sure they could get Seungmin here before the flight. But then they found Minho waiting outside, looking at them dejectedly.
Seungmin was on the verge of tears when he received a call from Hyunjin. They all guessed his flight got delayed.
“Minnie? I- What are you doing here? How did you get-” Hyunjin couldn’t understand.
“I like you too.” Seungmin breathed. His hands tightened around the older boy who went still in his arms. “I like you too. You’re not alone Hyunjin.” Seungmin’s voice came out muffled, out of breath.
God! It felt good to say it!
“Minnie I-”
“I can’t believe you were about to leave without telling me!”
Hyunjin let out a shaky laugh, finally allowing himself to tighten his arms around the boy as his mind processed the fact that he wasn’t getting rejected. Kim Seungmin felt the same.
“I did tell you just a minute ago.”
“Yes! & I also can’t believe you confessed & then planned on leaving me! What kind of dumbass are you?!” Seungmin leaned back a little, glaring at Hyunjin with teary eyes.
Hyunjin’s heart melted at that.
“I can stay if you want me to.” He smiled, bringing a hand up to cradle Seungmin’s face, while the other was still snaked around the boy’s waist- keeping him close.
“Of course, I want to,” Seungmin grumbled, lips forming a small pout. But soon he let out a sigh as he shook his head. “I can’t believe we both have been so dumb to realize it.” A small smile tugged on his lips as he looked up at Hyunjin’s half-moon ones.
Hyunjin laughed. He decided not to tell the other that it had been ten years for him. Maybe another time, when they would both be emotionally stable to talk more about themselves.
“Well, we’re together now. That’s all matters, doesn’t it?” Hyunjin asked, heart warm & full with fondness.
“I guess so.” Seungmin’s smile widened, matching Hyunjin's.
“Can you guys like kiss & whatever? So, we can leave before they kick our asses out from here?” Jisung nervously side-eyed the securities that were looking at them suspiciously. After all, they did make a commotion to get inside.
“Or, maybe don’t kiss now. Leave it for later.” Minho took a step back, and so did Felix & Jisung as they watched two guards approaching them. The ones they dodged at the entrance.
“GUYS! FUCKING RUN!”
Felix yelled in his Australian accent before started running for his life. Minho & Jisung followed him in a second yelling something about Hyunjin & Seungmin owed them, making the guards blow their whistles & chase them.
Hyunjin & Seungmin still stood where they were, laughing at their friends as they held onto each other.
“Let’s go back?” Seungmin looked up at Hyunjin smiling, hands reaching down to hold Hyunjin’s.
Hyunjin’s grin turned into a gentle smile, as he intertwined their fingers together. “Let’s go back.”
“No more fleeing to Australia by the way.”
Hyunjin laughed as he nodded. “Minnie? You like lemonade, right?”
Seungmin looked at his boyfriend/best friend in confusion as they lazily walked to the exit hand in hand.
“I do? Why do you ask? Did your mom send you fresh lemons again?”
Hyunjin laughed. “Nah. It’s a different type of lemon. The ones you’ve been giving me for the last ten years.”
“Huh?”
“I’ll tell you. We’ve got a long time now.”