Chapter Text
Janus cared about her gremlin buddy a great deal, ever since the two hit it off so well in high school.
Remus should’ve been able to graduate high school with flying colors. Roman also should’ve followed not that far behind, but no. Thanks to a shithead who just so happened to share some genetic sequences with them, the opportunity was ripped from them.
Janus used some of her funds to support them. An apartment, a safety net, a better future. That included helping them get their GEDs, too. She was busy getting credentialed for physical therapy work, so she wasn’t the most available in any other sense. An honestly bittersweet excuse.
She was glad to know Roman was physically recovering from the incident. He still believed they were kicked out because HE did something to deserve it. Not because of things neither twin could nor should change about themselves. Not because their “guardian” was an impatient, insensitive, intolerant- it had her seeing red.
Remus understood all too well and she never pressed the issue with him either.
Remus was eighteen years and so many months. He just passed his first two GED subjects. He didn’t want to have to get one of those letters from employers to take them as a minor. They were the math and science parts, which he knew would be a cake walk. Without really trying, their scores had him college ready, plus credit!
He’d laugh about it, “It was such a snooze fest, Jaaan! I even took a little siesta without anyone noticing.”
Janus knew full well how Remus slept – she was certain that the proctor prodded him for obnoxious snoring. And profuse slobbering. A small surprise he wasn’t somehow disqualified for distracting the other testers.
It didn’t stop him from going out of his way to go hang out, and it was happening more often.
“What’s it to you, this fine evening?”
“Well. I was wondering if ya wanted to go somewhere for some grub?”
Janus raised an eyebrow, “Where to?”
Remus took a moment to look in his wallet and frowned, “I got a Denny’s employee discount?”
She chuckled, “I have a better idea...”
Janus paid for a much fancier dinner, it may or may not have been motivated by Remus looking like he was a little malnourished. It wasn’t their first time, either.
She had known he wasn’t exactly swimming in cash and he didn’t have the best luck holding down any jobs. He wasn’t the best at fitting into most workplace cultures.
At that point, Roman had a bit more luck, but was also limited by not meeting a lot of places’ minimum education requirements. Roman shouldered more of the consistent income in the apartment the twins shared. At his insistence, he said he felt guilty enough about relying on a “mysterious” friend of Remus’s to pay for their security deposit.
Janus wasn’t one to do all this for just about anyone.
They went to her favorite Greek joint, enjoyed the meal together, and talked about what was going on in their lives. She always loved his chaotic ramblings and wasn’t expecting anything different.
This included Remus sucking up black truffle risotto through a boba straw he smuggled into the place. She didn’t dare to ask where that utensil had been. Not that she didn’t have an iron stomach for his antics at that point.
Unfazed, she relished her order of pastitsio.
One thing Janus appreciated about this place was how meticulous they were in segregating the shellfish from her orders and eating space. It probably didn’t help that her body decided to say “lobster is now my mortal enemy” out of nowhere, her second time there. Thankfully, a waiter had an EpiPen handy and called for help immediately.
She may’ve showered that waiter with exorbitant tips for the deed. She may’ve thought them quite a looker, too. She may’ve had a little fling with them once or twice. It was fun for the short while it lasted. There were no hard feelings when it was over and they went their own ways.
This evening, she realized she probably should’ve told Remus about that. The fling part, that is. She most certainly mentioned the allergy thing and told him how to stab her with life-saving epinephrine. The former point never came up.
Remus talked with a mouth full of the stuff, “So, uh… I’ve been wondering about sh-omething.”
“Mhmm?”
Remus swallowed, “… ah, fuck.”
“Something the matter?”
“This is… I- well, I like you. A lot.”
Janus snorted, “Well, I would hope that our relationship wasn’t some elaborate ruse.”
“Tenías que decir ESA palabra… I don’t know why I listened to my brother for advice on this kinda shit.”
Remus got increasingly flustered, nearly wheezing, “… fucking hell, w-where’d the air go? I better not be allergic to truffles- wait, you got stuff for that. Actually, choking sounds like it could be-”
Janus shook her head and patted his shoulder, “You’re spiraling again, buddy.”
He took a deep breath, “… Do you think we have a shot?”
She put on a sultry tone, “I suppose it... depends. What’s going on in that demented little mind of yours?”
Remus whined as his face reddened further, “Dammit, Jan...et! Stop teasing! I can’t handle it!”
She rested her chin in hand and nudged the poor guy further, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
She half expected him to launch into a musical number, but knew he wasn’t the best singer.
After an awkward moment, she was a little surprised when Remus started humming off-key to a recent pop song. Humming became mumbling, “I wanna ruin our friendship. We should… we should be…”
Janus looked at him fondly, “… lovers instead?”
Remus briefly looked uncomfortable and gulped, “I-I don’t fuck-ing know.”
“Are you alright?”
He fidgeted, “Can we, uh, go somewhere else for a bit?”
At that point, there wasn’t a single grain of rice or noodle left on their plates and Janus was ready to pay for the meal. She asked, “Where would you have in mind?”
“Your place? Maybe?”
-
Janus had a recently installed minibar at her ritzy apartment. She was sipping a lemony wine cooler. Remus was anxiously shotgunning a Rockstar. They were sitting at a nearby kitchen island.
Janus refused him hard drinks. It was not so much because he was under legal age for it, as much to hear him out lucid. She noted his discomfort and wished to make sure he wasn’t acting on clouded judgment. This despite some whining on his part.
They sat there in silence for awhile.
Remus eventually stammered, “W-wow. I thought it’d be easier to- since we’re by ourselves- but…”
It was starting to bother her, how uncharacteristically timid he was behaving. She expected and kind of wanted to hear him being his usual raunchy self. She expected him to be more forward.
“I-I keep condoms on me, just in case. Those latex-free ones, since, yeah. I thought maybe-?”
The Remus Janus was expecting would be like, “I need you to fuck me senseless right here and now, Jannie!”
Janus flushed a little at the thought, but that’s not what was playing out.
“You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.”
He was frantically drumming his fingers on his drink can, “Fucking feelings. Fucking words machine 404'ing on me…”
She got the feeling there was a disconnect somewhere, but couldn’t quite place it.
“Can we just watch a movie and… just sleep together?”
“Sure. How does… “Carrie” sound?”
Remus eagerly nodded and they wound up doing just that. It was sweet and she adored Remus.
But, nothing else happened. The condoms were never brought out, nor any other accouterments. He simply laid close for a snuggle as the Sandman came to visit.
The next day told her a little more, when Remus woke up and admitted it, “Okay. I feel kinda stupid for being all fucking talk and being SUCH a coward last night-”
“Remus. It’s okay. I’ll never act without your enthusiastic consent, you know that?”
“I legit had fantasies about you. But, when it came to actually doing anything- I don’t know...”
“I totally didn’t have a few myself, either. But, this doesn’t change anything – you haven’t ruined our friendship. You’re still my ‘fucking’ best buddy.”
Remus snorted, “Thanks, Jannie. Ug… I feel so corny now. If Romeo hears about any of this shit, I’ll never hear the end of it!”
“Yeah, I was not about to ask ‘who were you and what you did with Remus?’!”
She found it much easier to just be friends, when it became clear their desires were opposed. The passions were in different places, and that was okay.
Eventually, things settled back to where they were.
As far as Janus was concerned, there were many other fish in the sea.
---
About three years later, Remus first met Virgil.
A few weeks after that, Remus still felt all floaty and weird about it. A good, if squirmy kind of weird. It was kind of like how he felt about Janus, but a little more freeing? Starting from a blank slate with Hot Topic helped.
That feeling got more real when Virgil gave him a few new words that suddenly made things make sense. He couldn’t resist bouncing in place at how cool Virgil was. How much Virgil seemed to Get It.
He already proudly displayed the Emo Nightmare to Logan, and Specs seemed to approve of him. It was time to tell Jannie about it.
Never mind calling them at ass’o’clock over it. Never mind sleep! Never mind using the inside voice!
“JAN! JANNIE. JANNIE!”
Janus sounded a little delirious, “Remus. It’s what... 3 in the morning…?”
“Oh. Well, I hooked up with the cutest raccoon ever!”
“What.”
“Feisty lil fucker too, my tits will never be the same!”
“Benadryl brain is really helping here, buddy.”
Remus always thought it fun to egg them on sometimes, “What I’m hearing is, ‘keep being bat shit’. So here goes!”
He bounced and paced around his apartment, barely keeping his breath enough to continue rambling.
Janus finally huffed, “Please, please tell me you’re not dating an actual raccoon.”
“What? No, the guy’s name is Virgil!”
“Oh?”
“You know uh… when we tried to…”
“Yes?”
“I think… or at least hope, he feels the same way, this time-”
Remus was suddenly hesitant and sobered, “No shade to you, Snaky! Honestly, you helped me figure out some shit. Y’ know?”
“What did you find out?”
“Remember when we went on that date? The one that got a little… awkward? I think Virgil finally gave me a good answer to some of the questions I was having!”
“Go on.”
“I’m ace! And he’s somewhere close to it, too!”
“Makes sense to me, I had wondered about that moment, myself.”
“So you’re not mad about it?”
“I never was, I figured you just needed some space.”, Janus sighed, “Besides, you’re always gonna be my gremlin buddy. Now, can I get back to sleep?”
“Oh, uh, right. I can’t wait to show him to you, next time we get a chance for it!”
Janus yawned, “I look forward to it… I’m happy for you.”
Remus happily closed the conversation, “’Night Jaaannie!”
Remus eventually collapsed on his couch to watch The Thing eat people in the most horrifying ways possible. The past few days really took it out of him, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. He dozed off with a smile.