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"Eddie, pleeease!" You groaned, following him around inside his trailer.
He picked up a beer from the fridge and walked back to his room, turning his head to give you a quick glance with a smirk. A Black Sabbath album resonated through the trailer from his player beside his bed. The cheap yellow lighting made his eyes glint, the brown orbs you adored now causing annoyance to surge inside you.
Eddie plopped himself on top of his worn yet incredibly soft bed, crossing his legs and taking a sip of his beer. "Sorry sweetheart, can't do it."
You heaved an exasperated sigh, resting your hands on your hips and avoiding his eyes, to look around his bedroom. His guitar hanging in front of the mirror felt like it might as well have been laughing at you, given the hole you dug for yourself. Right beside it, haphazardly taped to the mirror, was a Polaroid of both of you; Eddie's arm around your shoulders, your smile almost as big as his, the two of you on the Ferris wheel, with the light from the fireworks illuminating your faces. Eddie always loved to capture moments like these. That way they'll last forever, he'd said.
The picture brought good memories, but you forced your eyes away. You'd spent countless hours hanging out with Eddie in this same bedroom, listening to music and smoking the occasional weed to loosen up weekly nerves. You were no stranger to the posters, the VHS tapes, and the mess, yet now your anxiety made the room feel a little suffocating.
"Please Eddie, it's just one weekend." Your voice leveled out in a steady tone.
The half-full beer bottle was discarded to the floor. Eddie looked up at the ceiling with his lips parting in a sigh, before he let himself fall back on his bed, his head hitting the mattress. Deep down he knew he'd never be able to deny you anything.
The mattress dipped as your knees came to rest on top of it, you slowly crawled your way to him. Laying down beside him with one hand under your head, you fixed your eyes on his profile. You followed the line of his nose to the curve of his lips, gripping the bedsheets so you wouldn't reach out.
Eddie turned his head to look at you. "Your family is not gonna like me, y'know. Why does it have to be me?"
"Because," you pursed your lips, "everyone is going to be there, all my cousins and aunts. With their plus ones. And I can't be the only sad loser who's still very much single and alone." You picked at the sheets, avoiding his eyes. "I can't stand another year hearing the 'when are you gonna find someone, Y/N?' questions with that pitiful look on their faces."
"You're not alone." Eddie reasoned.
Ever the charmer, you thought to yourself. His words made you chuckle lightly. "Sorry, I know I have you. And…" Biting the inside of your cheek, you said in a lower tone; "no one here knows me better than you do Eddie, you know that. If anyone is gonna make it believable when pretending to be my boyfriend, it's gonna be you."
Eddie could feel his mouth drying up just by hearing the words, his heart picking up a quicker pace. Pretending. That word would be haunting him forever.
How was he supposed to hold your hand, kiss your cheek and keep you close without it meaning anything?
How was he supposed to go back to being your friend — best friend, most important person in the world, as you liked to call it, yet friend nonetheless — after living through the one thing he wanted the most?
He'd be driving a knife right into his chest. And yet, for you, he'd do it smiling.
One thing he knew though. He wouldn't have to pretend to be head over heels for you.
"Okay."
You pushed yourself up on your elbows, wide eyes glued to him in excitement. "Really?"
Eddie sighed loudly, running his hands over his face. He peeked at you through his fingers. "Yeah really, whatever. You'll owe me big time."
Next thing he knew you were throwing yourself on top of him, momentarily knocking the air out of his lungs. He held you back with a huff, already smiling at the affection you gifted him with. His arms encircled your waist, while yours closed around his neck between his soft hair and the bedsheets.
"Thank you, Eddie. I'll make it up to you, I promise." You breathed out against his skin. Relieved out of your mind that you wouldn't be alone in that beach house. "You have no idea how much this means to me."
Eddie's lips parted as he stared at the stained ceiling, feeling a distant sting in his eyes. He gripped the fabric of your shirt, focusing on the comforting weight of your body atop his; instead of the fact that he'd be condemning his poor heart in just a few days.
It was a yearly family trip, you could go as far as to say it was a tradition. Everyone coming together in your grandparent's beach house in Porter, for at least one weekend. The place was beautiful, and you had countless unforgettable memories there from when you were younger; however now, the trip was starting to become a day you didn't exactly look forward to — especially after moving to Hawkins, going back to your hometown usually only made you miss it more once you had to leave again. And you loved your family, but naturally, they could be a little too much sometimes, especially your aunt Kathy, who was your typical matchmaker.
Having Eddie with you would be a relief, not only because you wouldn't have to hear the incessant nagging about when you'd find someone, but also because he would quite literally be your source of comfort.
After loading up everything you'd need for the weekend, you drove up to Eddie's trailer. Parking your car beside his beat-up van, you got out and walked up the stairs to the front door, not bothering to knock before getting in, he knew you were coming.
Wayne looked up from his place sitting on the couch when you walked in, a beer can in his hand. "Hey Y/N."
"Hi Wayne, how are you?" You smiled.
"Good," he nodded, and a smirk appeared on his face, he tilted his head towards Eddie's bedroom, "so you're finally making it official then?"
"Ha ha." You humorlessly faked a laugh, feeling your face heat up. "Don't start, it's just a stupid family gathering that I don't wanna go alone to."
"You kids always finding excuses." Wayne raised an eyebrow at you with a teasing look, that you chose to ignore, making your way to Eddie's bedroom.
Eddie was rummaging through his wardrobe, a deep frown on his eyebrows. He threw a black shirt on his bed and you noticed that he already had a small backpack with clothes there.
"How's my other half?" You teased, sitting down on his bed. You picked up the shirt he just tossed there and folded it neatly.
Huffing out a sigh, Eddie turned to you, now with a pair of grey sweatpants in his hands. His hair, you just noticed, was tied in a low bun; you always loved this look on him.
"Trying to find beach clothes… that I don't have."
"Spring has just started Eds, we're not gonna swim, don't worry." You grabbed his backpack, curiously peering inside to see what he was taking.
Eddie sat down beside you, clutching the sweatpants to his chest. "You think that's enough?"
You chuckled, leaning towards him and snatching the pants from his hands to fold them and tuck them in his bag. "I think you're worse than me when it comes to packing."
His unamused look made you smirk. You closed the zipper on his backpack and raised a hand to his face, flicking away a loose strand of hair that had fallen on his eyes. "It's perfectly enough, and we should be leaving already."
You got up from the bed pulling a strap of his bag over your shoulder, not seeing the way his cheeks reddened with your touch.
Eddie followed suit, stuffing his hands in his pockets and giving his bedroom one last glance over to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything.
"My parents already left yesterday to get there earlier. We're going with my car," you turned to him, walking backward and to the living room, "you're driving." You threw the car keys to him, which he scrambled to catch mid-air.
After saying goodbye to Wayne and tossing Eddie's backpack in the back of your car with your own bags, you were finally on the road to Porter Beach. The drive was a little long so you stopped by a gas station to grab a few snacks.
About one hour of driving, and you were munching on a cereal bar, feet resting up on the dash. Most of the way there was through a beautiful countryside, green fields surrounding the highway as you avoided going through any city's traffic. You were looking out the window, enjoying the low tune of a Bon Jovi tape you insisted on playing.
Lazily turning your head to the side, your gaze settled on Eddie. He had one hand resting on the wheel while the other held a can of soda, his eyes focused on the road ahead. You felt your lips curling up in a smile. He looked handsome, it felt right to be doing this, casually going out of town with him to meet your family. For a moment you forgot it was play pretend.
"So um- what are the ground rules?" Eddie's voice brought you back down to earth, making you frown.
"Ground rules?"
"Yeah, I mean, what we can and can't do. What are the boundaries of this relationship?" He shot you a suggestive glance with a toothy grin.
You rolled your eyes, stretching your arms above your head before throwing away the empty wrap of your cereal bar. "Well, we just have to pretend while we're with them so… holding hands, the occasional cuddle, those things. It's pretty straightforward, just like any other relationship you've had I guess."
Eddie promptly fixed his eyes back on the road, biting the inside of his cheek and gripping tightly onto the steering wheel. "But I don't… Just- just give me some pointers alright? What are you comfortable with?"
"There's not much to say, Eddie. You just kind of roll with it, and I'm sure whatever you're used to will be fine by me too, I trust you." You lean your head on the back of your seat, looking at him and taking notice of his tense shoulders. Whole body, really. "I mean, you've been in a relationship before, right?"
Eddie clenches his jaw, eyes looking anywhere but you as he grumbles; "you know I didn't." He didn't know why it bothered him, it's not like you'd judge him. But a little embarrassment still twirled in his stomach. And Eddie wasn't an idiot, he knew how couples behaved, but not having any experience in the matter still made him worried about crossing your boundaries; worried enough to step out of his comfort zone and ask.
"I know you didn't in the two years I've known you, but… before that?" You inquired tentatively.
Eddie's face twisted in a mixture of a smile and grimace. "Not many people are interested in dating the town's freak, I'm afraid."
His voice dripped with sarcasm but you could see the hint of hurt underneath, the loneliness. It baffled you though, how no one had had the privilege of knowing him like this. No one but you. The thought sent a shiver down your spine and you suppressed it just as fast as it came.
"It's alright, I know you'll make a great boyfriend." You smiled, poking his arm to bring a smile to him as well. "Just do what your heart tells you."
With your words, Eddie's heartbeat sped up. He cleared his throat and tried to sound casual with his next question; "what about kissing?"
That had you chuckling. You finally looked away from him and watched the road in front of you. "I guess we'll have to? At least some pecks here and there, otherwise they'll see right through it. If you're okay with it. I mean, what couple doesn't kiss, right?"
Eddie pursed his lips, gulping down the feelings clawing at his throat. "Right."
As you reached town, Eddie started following your instructions to get to the house. The town was pretty, and in some ways, reminded Eddie of Hawkins.
He ended up driving to a secluded neighborhood, and as he sped forward, fewer and fewer houses started to appear; until he reached the end of the road, and there, facing Lake Michigan, stood a big, white wooded house. It had two floors and a run-down stone path that lead to its entrance, surrounded by a few patches of grass, and a few coastal trees, but mostly light-colored sand that blended with the house nicely. And as Eddie parked the car beside the house, he noticed that some of the white paint was wearing off, certainly a teller of how long the house had existed. Yet despite its age, the house still looked well taken care of, fancy. It stood on a slight hill, giving them a perfect view of the beach ahead.
Eddie was quiet as he took in his surroundings, slowly pulling the key from the ignition when your car was settled beside the other two already parked there. Sometimes, he forgot how different your world was from his. Rich parents, fun childhood, big family. In moments like these, he was reminded of it.
"Here we are," you said quietly, eyes fixated on the house you practically grew up in. "I swear this place never changes." You opened your door with a soft click and the coastal wind filled your nostrils, making your hair fly. You turned to Eddie before stepping out.
He spoke before you could, hands still gripping the steering wheel. "You know, sometimes I forget that you're-"
"Don't say it." You cut him off.
"Rich?" With a raised brow, Eddie finally peeled his eyes away from the house and the waves washing to shore, and looked at you.
"Stop it, Eddie," you huffed, "for the last time, all of this," you gestured to the white house, fresh sand and seagulls that flew by in the distance, "belongs to my grandparents, not me."
Eddie squinted his eyes at you, pushing his door open as well. "It does belong to you, at least a little."
Rolling your eyes at his stubbornness, you climbed out of the car and pushed the door closed. The golden glow of the setting sun was warm against your skin, you took a moment to watch the way it blended in with the crashing waves, taking in a deep breath of the air that still tasted as fresh as you remembered it.
Eddie leaned his elbows on the roof of the car, about to ask if he should already take the bags but biting his words back when he saw you. The sunlight highlighted your profile with an orange glow and made your hair shine. Eddie could feel the air leaving his lungs and not coming back. This would be a long weekend.
You opened the trunk of your car and you and Eddie picked up all your bags. When you closed it again, you noticed the dark blue BMW parked beside you. You groaned, "shit, aunt Kathy is already here." With one hand you held onto the strap of your backpack whilst hooking your other arm with Eddie's, pulling him with you towards the front door. "Last time we were here she tried to pair me up with one of the surfers her son is friends with. He wasn't bad looking but… such a douche."
Beside you, Eddie hummed, subconsciously pulling your body closer to his. He took a quick glance down at his black jacket and ripped jeans. "More and more I'm kinda feeling like I won't be exactly the guy who fits in with your family, sweetheart."
You looked up at him with the ghost of a smile, watching the way his brown curls flew in front of his eyes and he tried to blow them away. "You fit in with me, that's good enough right?" The words slipped from your tongue before you had the chance to weigh them. Eddie turned his head to you, and you didn't let yourself think if the pink on his cheeks was from the sunlight or something else. "And you know, my parents adore you. They were thrilled when I told them about us." You finished quickly.
Eddie halted on his feet and pulled you along with him, his eyes comically wide. "You told your parents we're- we're…"
You chuckled and avoided his eyes, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder. "Of course I did, I had to, they're here too."
"But, what happens when we go back to Hawkins?"
You hadn't thought that far yet, but you pursed your lips with a smile and urged Eddie to continue walking. "I don't know but we'll think of something until then, say it didn't work out or whatever, and we're back as just friends."
Sand got inside Eddie's sneakers as he dragged his feet toward heartbreak. The thought of you and him not working out stung.
You stopped in front of the wooden door, reaching for the handle but hesitating. "You ready… boyfriend?" You chanced, smile teasing but tone anxious.
Eddie gulped, his lips parted as he looked at you with the most gentle eyes. "Nah man."
You nodded. "Me neither, let's go."
The front door opened with a quiet creak, allowing you the full view of inside the house, which hasn't changed much either since last year. The walls inside were cream colored, with a very open floor plan downstairs — joined kitchen and living room, that had a colorful couch and bamboo chairs for the dining table — and huge glass doors that lead to the porch facing the beach and the wooden stairs that made the path down to the sand.
In the living room sat both your parents, your aunt Kathy and her husband, uncle Arthur; and your grandmother, Louise, who got up as soon as she caught sight of you and Eddie.
"Y/N darling, you're finally here."
You gave her a big smile, letting your backpack fall to the floor and letting go of Eddie — who, you noticed, took half a step behind you — so you could hug your grandma. "Yeah, it was a bit of a drive, but we're here."
She let go of the embrace only to cup your face, squishing your cheeks as she always did. "Oh it's been so long, you've grown so much. How are you?"
Your parents, Kathy and her husband were now standing behind Louise with smiles of their own, waiting to greet you.
You chuckled. "I'm okay grandma, really, and it's good to be back." Gently prying her hands away from you, you blindly reached a hand behind you and grabbed the sleeve of Eddie's jacket, pulling him to stand beside you. "I want you all to meet my boyfriend, Edward."
Eddie, feeling a bit self-conscious under all the eyes fixed on him, managed a tight-lipped smile and a quick wave. "Hey, you- you can call me Eddie. It's a pleasure to meet you all."
"No need for introductions darling." Kathy squeezed her way through the rest of your family and towards you. "Your mother has been telling us all about you two the whole afternoon."
"Aw shit." You mumbled under your breath, biting back a chuckle when your aunt pulled Eddie in for an unexpected hug.
She came to you next, keeping and arm around your shoulders as she said; "I'm so happy you found someone."
"Yep," you forced out a laugh, mindlessly intertwining your fingers with Eddie's, "I did."
After exchanging greetings with the rest of your family — including your grandpa; and your cousin Sean who came back from the beach dragging sand everywhere and earning a scolding from his father, Arthur — you found yourself alone with Eddie on the porch facing the beach, or, as alone as one could be through glass doors and a full living room.
"Aunt Jane will be arriving tomorrow morning, I think she couldn't get off early from her job today." Sitting on the wooden railing, you swing your legs back and forth. "She's a bit more easygoing than aunt Kathy." You extended a hand for Eddie to take, and when he did you pulled him closer and between your legs, letting your arms rest on his shoulders.
Eddie tensed with your touch, his brown eyes searching your face as his hands hovered just above your waist. He read your look quite quickly; 'play along'. Carefully, Eddie allowed himself to embrace your waist, praying you wouldn't hear the thundering of his heart. He kept his gaze over your shoulder and in the darkening sky above the shoreline.
You sneaked your hands up his neck and through his hair, mindlessly messing with his curls. Eddie closed his eyes momentarily, hearing the muffled voices from inside the house, the clattering of plates as they set the table for dinner, the crashing of waves, and the leaves rustling with the cold wind. He knew already, that going back from this, from having you, would be difficult.
"They like you, you know." You gently pushed away strands of hair that were in front of his eyes, watching the way his gaze lazily met yours. "I knew they would."
It was true, you heard your mother earlier, whispering quite loudly to your aunt; "always attached to the hip those two, no wonder they're together, took too long if you ask me."
And to which your aunt answered; "he's not what I expected for her, but I have to admit, they are adorable. And what a kind young man, so respectful."
"They're just being nice," Eddie mumbled, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie.
You furrowed your brows at that. "No, they're not. I know my family, they wouldn't have a problem in letting it show if they don't like someone, in one way or another, especially aunt Kathy."
Maybe you were right, maybe Eddie could belong here. But he looked away and made the bold move of resting his chin on your shoulder, almost flushing your chest to his, with his hands holding your back so you wouldn't fall; because getting attached to a fake reality would be too hard of a blow in the long run.
And you didn't say anything else, feeling your skin prickle with goosebumps where he touched you. Closing your arms around Eddie's shoulders, you realized you'd never noticed how good it felt to hold him this close. Stop it. You told yourself. He's just playing his part like you're playing yours. It doesn't change anything.
The glass doors opened with a quick motion, making you and Eddie snap your heads towards the sound. Your father peeked his head through, sporting his 'kiss the cook' apron and with a spatula in hand. "Dinner's ready, you two. Come on in."
Everyone sat together at the table, talking loudly and passing bowls of food between each other. Eddie felt overwhelmed, but in a weirdly good way, with your family talking with him as if they'd known him for years.
"Edward, tell me a little about you. How'd you meet my niece?" Kathy asked excitedly from her end of the table.
Eddie gulped down half of the orange juice in his cup, his knee going up and down as he looked up at her. "We um- we met at school, right after she moved to Hawkins." He shifted his gaze from your aunt and to you who sat beside him, lips parted with uncertainty.
When you were about to step in and say something, you noticed his eyes softening. He focused on you and let the other people around fade out. With a soft breath, Eddie continued; "she stood out from day one, I- I couldn't understand how someone as amazing as her had ended up in Hawkins, of all places. I just knew I had to meet her."
Your hands became sweaty, and you couldn't hold his gaze. His words were too genuine for a made-up scenario, so you followed his lead shamelessly; "he was my first friend there, part of me knew we'd end up together, I think. He's been an easy one to love… from day one." The words grew quieter, you tilted your head and glanced at Eddie with a soft smile.
She doesn't really mean it. Eddie kept repeating inside his head, for the sake of his heart. But as you looked at him with a love that felt so true, his mantra started to become blurry.
All Eddie managed before going back to his food was a shy smile back.
Dinner went on as if nothing happened, the only one to mention how pure the young love was, was your mother.
Being tired from the long trip, everyone went to bed early tonight. You and Eddie ended up settled in your old bedroom in the house, now being generically furnished with a small bookshelf, a wardrobe, a desk, and a double bed in the middle.
You closed the bedroom door and leaned your back against it, huffing out a sigh.
Eddie, who was holding all of your bags, stood in the middle of the room. "Where should I…"
"Just leave them in the corner there." You pointed to the space beside the wardrobe. It wasn't worth unpacking everything only for the two nights you'd be staying.
You pushed yourself away from the door, grazing your fingers over the dusted books on the shelf. Some of them you knew, some had been your favorites growing up. You could feel Eddie's eyes watching you. "it wasn't too bad, right? Them and… us?"
Shifting in his stance, Eddie took off his jacket, leaving him in only a dark red Metallica shirt. He attempted to run a hand through his hair, his fingers getting caught up in loose tangles. "Not too bad, I think we'll manage to pull off our roles just fine." Despite the sour taste the words left in his mouth, Eddie shot you a teasing grin; "I do like to have a pretty girl to call mine for a change."
The warmth on your cheeks was instant, you chuckled, "don't get ahead of yourself, Munson." You pointed a finger at him and walked to your backpack, starting to search for pajamas to keep your hands busy.
"Uh, I'm gonna take a shower, you can go after, okay?" You glanced up at Eddie through your lashes.
"Yeah, sure."
Eddie busied himself with snooping around the room until you come back. Eventually, on the bookshelf, beside the old books, he found two portraits. Eddie picked them up with care, running a thumb over the images. In one of them, you and your whole family stood on the beach, with the big white house in the background, you were younger, maybe not older than seven and the smiles on all your faces were genuine. The other portrait was a picture of only you, maybe two or three years older than on the other picture, you held a plastic shovel and had a huge smile that missed one tooth, the beach water reaching up to your waist as you played in it. Eddie found himself smiling, they looked like happy memories.
"Oh no, you've found the relics." You walked back into the room, still drying your hair with your towel.
"I was hoping I'd find some ugly baby photos of you here." Eddie raised a brow, putting down one of the framed pictures. "These aren't so bad though. You really did grow up here huh?"
"For the most part, yeah. The house was big enough, and when I was around six my parents decided it was more worth splitting the bills, back then at least. And it's nice for a kid to grow up by the beach. Their words, not mine." You draped your towel over the desk chair, ruffling your damp hair with your hands. "And it was. Nice."
"Hmm, yeah." Eddie glanced down at the picture of the younger you in his hands, momentarily wondering what it would be like to grow up in a place where happiness and love surrounded him. He then held the picture up with a teasing grin; "where did all this cuteness go though?"
Your lips parted in a 'how dare you' way and you narrowed your eyes. "Fuck you." You giggled, walking up to him and snatching the portrait from his hands, pushing him to the door. "Go take a shower, you stink."
"I do not." Eddie joined in with a chuckle of his own, smiling big with the familiar teasing.
"Two doors to your left, pretty boy. Go on." You threw a clean towel on his arms and raised a hand to mess up his hair, just the way you knew always made him pout.
Eddie walked out and into the hallway with a permanent smile attached to his lips. The easiness with which you showered him with affection made his heart skip a few beats.
Closing the bathroom door, Eddie pulled his hair in a high bun to avoid getting it wet; it was a nightmare to sleep while his hair was still damp and even he wasn't able to tame it in the morning when it happened. He had to admit, the house was a pleasant place to be in, it had a natural homey feeling to it, and your family wasn't as bad as he was picturing them to be, he'd never felt so welcomed so fast. Part of him was already dreading the feeling though, all the more reason for it to hurt in the end.
The warm water of the shower was a relief against his skin and soothed his tense muscles. But he had been working almost on autopilot since you both arrived, and now, with the water hitting the tiles being the only sound, his mind had time to catch up. It was so easy for you to take his hand and pull him to you, to flush your bodies together as if it was nothing.
"Jesus, man." Eddie breathed out, splashing water on his face and keeping his hands over his eyes for a second. He doesn't think it could ever be nothing.
When he exited the bathroom all the lights in the house had already been turned off, he kept his hand clued to the wall to guide himself as he walked.
Eddie opened the door to your room slowly, cursing under his breath when the wood creaked quite loudly. He threw his clothes from earlier into a pile on top of his bag and just… stood there; in the dark room, with the only light being from the moonlight coming in through the window.
You were already laying down, covers pulled up to your chin. Eddie swallowed. You'd never discussed sleeping arrangements. He picked at his fingers, worrying his lower lip with his teeth; should he just lay down beside you?
After a beat, you answered for him, apparently feeling his worry all the way from under the covers. "Just get in here, Eds."
"Right, right," Eddie mumbled and scrambled his way to the bed. He made sure to keep a good distance between you two. His hands twitched to reach out for you, but he settled on watching the outline of your back until sleep overtook him.
Saturday dawned with the sun shining right on your face, you nuzzled into your pillow to hide from its light; the pillow that felt weirdly warm under you. And you hugged the covers closer to yourself, except they definitely didn't feel like covers.
With your eyes still closed you scrunched your eyebrows, and when you felt your body being squeezed, you finally peered them open. Somehow during the night, you and Eddie apparently bundled together in the middle of the bed. Your body was almost fully on top of his, with your head resting on his chest and arms loosely around his waist. And Eddie had his nose pressed to the top of your head, snoring softly, his arms snuggly around you.
For this early in the morning, your heart definitely shouldn't be beating this fast. Yet his body was so goddamn warm and soft under you that you wondered if it was too selfish to allow yourself at least five minutes of this bliss. Waking up cuddled together without knowing where your limbs started and his ended could be excused for the sake of fake dating, right?
It was dangerous, you knew that, you felt it in the way Eddie mumbled something in his sleep and subconsciously tightened his arms around you; it was the one thing you tried to suppress the hell off when his warm brown eyes made your stomach fill with an annoying flutter of butterflies. But in the seclusion of the bedroom, under the first lights of sunrise, the worry felt insignificant.
Until you heard the clatter of plates and the muffled voices from downstairs; seagulls singing on the beach announcing the start of the day.
You gently ran a hand over the faded Dio print on Eddie's shirt, before trying to push yourself up and away from him. Try being the keyword, because his grip on you didn't budge in the slightest.
"Shit." You mumbled under your breath as you were squeezed back against his chest. You were hoping to separate your body from his before he woke up and noticed what happened. Apparently not.
You cleared your throat, turned your head up to look at him, and called quietly; "Eddie."
Nothing.
"Eddie, come on." A little louder.
Nothing.
"Ugh, dude." You grumbled. "Eddie! Wake up!"
His eyes shot open with a start and landed on you instantly, his hands gripped onto you before he let go completely as if you'd burned him. "Shit, shit, shit." He was all stiff limbs and warm cheeks because he'd just woken up with you in his arms, and it wasn't fair how pretty you were this up close.
"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- christ, I'm sorry."
Eddie's rasp morning voice sent a shudder down your back. You finally moved away from him and to your own pillow. "It's alright, don't worry, it was my fault too," your mouth hovered open, you shifted your gaze, "I just needed to get up and… Yeah."
The tip of Eddie's fingers — his whole body, really — was still prickling from having you so close. He missed the contact immediately. "Sorry." He said one more time for good measure.
You waved off his worry as if it was nothing, getting up from the bed and making your way to the bathroom to freshen up. Except it definitely wasn't nothing.
When you walked back to the bedroom, Eddie was already dressed up in dark grey sweatpants and a red flannel shirt. He turned to you when he heard the door open, and you had to stifle a laugh because his hair was all over the place. The sunlight coming from the window made the wild strands shine and look golden.
"Jesus Eddie, you're not going downstairs like this, sit." You told him with a smile, pointing at the bed.
He chuckled, one hand automatically going up to his hair. "What, you don't like it?"
"You know I do, but," you mindlessly reached for his hand and sat him down on the mattress as you stood in front of him, "just let me tidy it up a bit."
"And ruin my metal look?" Eddie clasped a hand over his chest.
"Drama, drama," you mumbled, running your fingers over his fringe and then the soft strands that framed his face.
Eddie closed his eyes, his shoulders relaxing. Slowly, his forehead dropped to rest against your abdomen as you worked your hands through the curls on his head.
It went unsaid just how much Eddie loved when you'd mess with his hair, it was a secret you kept close to your heart. And if you kept massaging his scalp for a minute longer after you were done, no one needed to know.
You walked down the stairs with Eddie behind you, your family was in the kitchen, starting to prepare breakfast, and you got down just in time to see your aunt Jane arriving. Stripes of sunlight were coming in through the windows and glass doors, bathing the wood in golden as a soft breeze came from the shoreline.
"Aunt Jane!" You called with a smile, skipping down the last steps of the stairs and pulling the older woman into a hug.
"Y/N, it's so nice to see you again." Jane pulled away, her hands still gripping your arms as she looked you up and down with a fond smile.
"Auntie, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Eddie." You said excitedly, turning to Eddie, who stood by the stairs, and making grabby hands at him.
"Boyfriend huh?" A new voice mocked.
Samantha, Jane's daughter, walked through the front door. Glossed lips pulled in a devilish smile and manicured hands held onto her purse and her boyfriend's fingers, who stepped in behind her. Much different from her mother, she wasn't the most pleasant person to have around — the tension between you and her was innocent, for the most part, coming from years ago ever since she used to steal your toys and go cry to her mother when you snatched them back.
You tugged Eddie to your side, intertwining your fingers with his with a proud tilt to your head. "Yeah, all mine." You raised a brow and felt the way Eddie's eyes snapped to you. "Hi Samantha, made a lot of children cry on the way here?"
"And I thought you wanted to be the lonely cat lady of the family." Samantha chuckled, earning a stern gaze from her mother.
Suddenly, your own mother materialized beside you and pinched your side, mumbling a "behave" to you through the gritted teeth of her overly sweet smile. She always advocated for peace in family gatherings. You couldn't blame her.
"It's uh- a pleasure to meet you." Eddie cut through the light tension, not knowing what else to say. But apparently, it was the right thing, because you and Samantha shared only one last glare before you were pulling him towards the kitchen.
"What was that about?" Eddie asked — close to your ear in a whisper that made the hairs on your neck stand up — when you stood side by side in front of the kitchen table.
You took in a breath, picking up four slices of bread to make sandwiches for you and Eddie. It was muscle memory to make them; butter, ham, and cheese for you, and only ham and cheese for Eddie. "We don't exactly get along. She's a stuck-up princess who likes to pick on me." You shot him a quick grin. "That's family for ya. Could you get us some coffee?"
Eddie chuckled, softly shaking his head. "Sure." He mumbled and leaned down to give your forehead a kiss before making his way to the counter near the sink, where the coffee machine was.
He poured two cups, one black and the other… Eddie looked around him, searching for the milk. Kathy stood only a little far from him, leaning on the isle and drinking from her own mug, talking to Louise about something regarding a paint job for the house.
Eddie raised a hand to the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious about talking to your family on his own. But before he could make a fool of himself, someone appeared beside him.
"Here you go, son." Your grandfather, Christopher, Eddie believed his name was, handed him the milk with a kind smile. "I gather that's what you're looking for."
With a sheepish smile, Eddie took the milk and thanked the man profusely, feeling his chest blowing up with warmth for the kindness.
He poured the exact amount you always did for your coffee and walked back to the table, taking his seat beside yours.
You turned to Eddie and gave his hand a quick squeeze as a thank you, setting his sandwich on a plate in front of him.
"Look who decided to show up." Arthur walked in through the porch doors, flip-flops covered in sand in his hands. He gave Jane a side hug with a smile.
She raised a hand in mock surrender. "I know, I know, should've been here yesterday. But I couldn't get off work and Sam was at a birthday party." She explained, throwing all her bags on the couch except for one. "But," out of the plastic bag in her hands, she carefully pulled out a tray, "I come bearing gifts."
Your face lit up with a smile upon seeing the neatly made cake, the recipe was Jane's specialty and your favorite.
"You are totally forgiven." Your father, who had been making himself waffles, ditched the food and made a beeline for Jane's baked sweets, already trying to take a piece and earning himself a soft tap on the shoulder from your grandmother as she looked at him disapprovingly.
Eddie chuckled beside you, and you turned to him with a smile of your own. "I absolutely love this cake she makes, you'll have to try it."
"If you say it's good, then I trust ya." Eddie took a bite of his sandwich, bread crumbs sticking to his adorable smile.
Breakfast went as it always did in the beach house, everyone sitting at the table and talking loudly about three things at once, passing food and drinks between each other, and making plans for the day.
One detail diverged, however. Samantha seemed to take an interest in Eddie's life, asking questions about what he did and what he liked, looking at him with a certain hunger that made you clench your fork to the point the metal was almost piercing your skin.
Fake or not, for this weekend Eddie was yours. And the jealousy that blossomed in your chest when Samantha reached out to tap his forearm almost made you haul yourself over the table to squeeze her throat.
After breakfast you decided to finally head to the beach, the air outside was chilly, but the sun was out as well, making the day perfect for a walk on the warm sand. You talked Eddie into borrowing your father's flip-flops and walked hand in hand with him down the wooden stairway. The steps creaked under your weight, they lead you all the way from the porch, down the slight hill, and finally to the beach. Near the house there were a few grass patches amidst the sand, along with a thin wooden fence, that had already crumbled in a few spots, leading you near the water.
The beach was mostly empty at this time of year, save for a few passersby and ambitious surfers.
Your fingers were loosely hooked with Eddie's, he was swinging your joined hands back and forth, his eyes stealing glances down at the way his feet buried in the thin sand as you walked.
You, on the other hand, were stealing glances at him. At the way he sometimes stumbled on the uneven ground, at the way his hair flew wildly with the coastal wind, at how the sun kissed his skin the same way you caught yourself wishing to, and at how he looked like he belonged here; with you and with the glistening water framing his profile.
You two ended up making your way to a local bar, the only one near the house. It wasn't big, but it made up for its size in the way it was built. The place had no walls, allowing everyone a full view of the crashing waves just ahead. A few tables were scattered underneath the roof and in the back stood the little booth that served the drinks and a few snacks, everything smartly decorated with the coastal theme.
"You want something to drink?" Eddie asked as you leaned against one of the pillars. His cheeks and nose were starting to take on a red blush because of the sun.
"Yeah I think so, we can drink while walking back." You smiled, absentmindedly running your thumb over his knuckles.
Chatter coming from one of the tables caught both yours and Eddie's attention, you turned around to see Sean, your cousin, talking loudly to some of his friends.
Eddie turned back to you and somehow his cheeks had gotten even redder, he mumbled an "okay", before leaning in and planting a tender kiss on your forehead. He made his way to the bar, fidgeting with the wallet in his hands, not bothering to ask about your favorite drinks; he knew it by memory.
You realized then that you weren't wrong, Eddie made for a great boyfriend.
"Y/N? Is that you?" An excited voice called for your attention.
You turned around and were met with the sight of Duncan, one of Sean's friends who just so happened to also be the boy your aunt tried to set you up with. He trudged his way towards you, sporting a long sleeve white shirt and shorts; and save for the shirt, he was soaked, causing the sand to cling to his skin and his blond hair to stick to his forehead and neck. You wondered if he was immune to the chilly wind.
"Hey, yeah it's- it's me." You raised your hand in an awkward wave, sparing him a tiny smile as he stopped a bit too close for comfort.
"I was hoping I'd catch you around, been a while since you've come here." He leaned a hand against the pillar behind you, causing you to take half a step to the side.
You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your pants, shrugging your shoulders. "Yeah, I usually don't come here more than once a year. Just for the family trip and all."
"Well I must say then, you've only gotten prettier since last year." Duncan smirked, leaning in towards you so he could speak in a lower tone; "you should definitely drop by more often."
You looked aside to take a breath, already growing annoyed. "I don't think that's likely, it's a long trip and I can't afford to leave work much often."
Duncan nodded slowly, "I could keep you busy here too if you'd like. What do you say we try again? Wanna go out tonight?" He was about to raise a hand to touch your cheek but halted in his movements.
"Got you your favorite, sweetheart." Eddie's voice washed over you like a fluffy blanket on a cold day. He was quick to swing an arm around your shoulders, squeezing gently and pulling your body flush to his.
The warmth was welcoming, undeniably comfortable and you were baffled by how safe he made you feel. You leaned into him, sneaking your own arm around his waist until you reached the pocket of his sweatpants by his hip.
"Thank you, Eds." You said quietly, not necessarily for the drink but reaching out for it anyway. Standing on your toes, you planted a kiss on his jaw.
"Hey dude," Eddie raised his chin towards Duncan, "I'm Eddie, her boyfriend." He made sure to accentuate the words, causing you to suppress a chuckle.
Shuffling on his feet, Duncan backed away from you. "Right, nice to meet you, man." He nodded awkwardly and turned to you, "I'll head back to Sean, see you around Y/N."
You waved him goodbye with a tight-lipped smile. When the blond was out of earshot, you let out a relieved sigh, leaning your head back into Eddie's arm. "Thank you for the save, really."
Eddie chuckled, taking a sip of his beer and pulling you along towards the shore and away from the bar; his arm steady around your shoulders. "No one's allowed to make the moves on my girl, even if she's fake."
You bumped your hip into him, laughing along, both your feet kicking the warm sand. "Told you you'd make a good boyfriend."
The walk back to the house was pleasant, you drank and talked with Eddie with the same easiness he always made you feel. Once the cans were empty and discarded, you and Eddie spotted a crab — who hid in its hole as soon as you approached — and then began the match of who could spot more crabs. Both of you ended up with the ends of your pants soaked, only thinking of rolling them up when the damage was already done.
But you couldn't care, because the sun was shining and the waves were crashing to shore. And you were both running like little kids, burying your feet in the sand and splashing water into each other. And you thought of Eddie's saying about pictures and moments, because you wanted today to last forever.
When your family's house came into sight, you were walking with your flip-flops in hand, lazily moving your feet under the water when the waves reached you.
Eddie followed beside you, avoiding most of the waves. There was a soft tilt to his lips, a permanent smile because he was happy. You made him so unbelievably happy, and as you looked at him then, meeting his eyes that were already on you; with the sun shining behind you and glistening onto the water, making you look heaven-sent — just like that, hair all over the place, skin flushed and clothes in a mess of sand and water — Eddie was not surprised to feel as if he was in a daze, in the most addicting high.
You extended a hand to him, fingers stretching to reach him. He did the same, his fingertips grazing yours, feet just out of reach from the waves; knowing he'd never risk his feelings getting in the way of this.
Five more minutes of walking and you were in front of your house, you stopped, feeling the waves crash to your ankles and bury your toes with wet sand. Eddie stood in front of you, with one hand trying to block the sun shining on his face and the other in his pants pocket. The tip of his nose and the outline of his lips were red from the sun. You wanted to kiss him.
Your gaze shifted from him and up to the porch of the house, you saw the outline of two people whispering in each other's ears, no doubt Samantha and her boyfriend talking shit about you. You knew she was doubting your relationship, or, you felt like she was; and the way her gaze kept searching for Eddie earlier really made your blood boil. So maybe it was a little bit possessive of you, but two birds one stone, you thought, and took the bold move.
You walked up to Eddie, not giving him much time to process what was happening before burying one hand in his hair and pulling his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, testing the waters. Until you felt Eddie tentatively place his hands on your waist, bringing your bodies together as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. His nose bumped yours, his lips much softer than you imagined.
Pulling back slowly, you breathed air back into your lungs. Eddie was looking at you with those chocolate eyes of his, his lips parted and so inviting, his hands warm on your waist but still making you shiver. He was suddenly too close, the air too hot.
You separated your bodies, instantly mumbling an apology and; "we kind of had an audience." You pointedly shifted your gaze to the porch and the two people watching.
Eddie could only nod, the air still stuck in a lump on his throat because holy shit; you kissed him.
You squeezed his hand as you walked past him and towards the house. And Eddie stood there for a minute, his lips tingling with the remains of your taste, tears prickling the back of his eyes because for a second, for a fleeting moment where the world faded and all he could feel was you; it felt real.
Something shifted between you and Eddie after the kiss. Each touch felt heavier, each stare lasted longer. You wondered if there was a way back from the lines you were crossing in your friendship. You wondered if you wanted a way back. If you were still pretending at all.
Eddie stayed back at the house when you, Jane, and your mother left to go to the market — you kissed him goodbye before leaving, just a touch of lips that barely lasted a second, but already made your knees go weak — they wanted to grab a movie to watch tonight and you convinced them into picking The Shining, wanting to choose something Eddie would like.
As dusk settled over the beach, popcorn was made and a spare mattress was laid in front of the TV so the living room could accommodate everyone. You, Eddie, and your grandparents took the bigger couch, your parents and Jane took the smaller one, and Kathy, her husband, and your cousins were sitting on the mattress. All the lights on the house were off with only the TV on and you were starting to regret your choice of movie.
Eddie handed you the popcorn bowl, the scenes on the TV casting light over his eyes and making them shine. "Was it your mom who chose the movie?" He asked quietly, only for you to hear.
You squirmed beside him, tucking your knees closer to your chest, feeling a pit of anxiety in your stomach as the movie went on. "It was me." You mumbled back.
"You?" Eddie raised an amused eyebrow. "You hate these movies."
"Yeah…"
"Why would you-"
"I wanted to pick something you'd like, okay? Sue me." You interrupted him, avoiding his eyes and handing the popcorn bowl to your cousin Sean.
Eddie kept his gaze on you, the movie turning into background noise. You were making it really hard for him to not love you more than he should. His lips quirked up, watching the way your nose and cheekbones were highlighted by the TV. Eddie wanted to kiss you again so bad.
"You're something else, sweetheart." He said more to himself than to you, and brought an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your body against his.
You briefly closed your eyes when you felt Eddie maneuvering your body to his. You tucked yourself comfortably beside him, nuzzling your head on his shoulder.
When the movie finally came to an end, you were basically dozing off on top of Eddie. Your head on the crook of his neck and an arm sprawled across his lap, while he lazily played with your fingers.
When Kathy turned off the TV, Eddie looked down to see Sean drooling on the mattress and Samantha trying to wake up her boyfriend; Eddie stifled a laugh at that. Your grandparents had already excused themselves to bed, and Jane and your mother were in the kitchen tucking away the dishes from earlier. The house was silent and dark, save for the clattering of plates and the single light near the sink. Not even two days had gone by and he already felt like part of the family.
Eddie's lips grazed your hairline as he tried to look at you. Your breathing was starting to even out and your eyes were closed, most of your weight now laying on Eddie.
He was about to wake you up when the voice of your mother called out to him; "Eddie dear, can you come to help me out for a moment?"
"On my way." He glanced over the back of the couch and answered quietly enough to not wake you. With overly careful movements, Eddie separated his body from yours, managing to lay you down on the couch gently.
"Just put these up there for me would you?" Your mother instructed as he reached her, handing him the stack of porcelain plates and pointing to one of the higher cabinets above the sink.
Eddie did so with a smile, earning him a squeeze on the forearm from your mother and a warm smile of her own as she made her way upstairs.
"It's Edward, right?" Jane leaned back on one of the counters, dish rag in hand.
Eddie turned to her, fidgeting with his rings. "You can call me Eddie."
"Eddie, I just wanted to say, I'm happy for you two." She told him genuinely, and when Eddie frowned, she clarified; "you and Y/N."
"Oh," he felt his face warm up, "uh- thank you."
The older woman chuckled, she had fondness on her eyes as she stared out the window, listening to the waves crashing to shore. "What I mean is, she looks happy with you."
The words made Eddie's heartbeat skyrocket, hearing it from someone else made it feel real. And to hear he made you happy brought goosebumps to his skin.
"The last two years, ever since they moved away, she hasn't been the same. She was quiet, withdrawn, you know. Moving to a new town, and even more so far away from the place you were born, sometimes is hard." Jane explained with a faraway look in her eyes. "This year is the first time that I feel like she is really here, back with us. She looks happy. And I feel like a lot of it has to do with you. I'm glad she found you."
Eddie's words were stuck to his throat, he tugged at the ends of his shirt, taking in everything she said. He'd never been a part of someone's happiness. It felt good. It made his eyes glisten and vision blur. "I- all I want is to see her happy." The words tumbled out before he could think them through.
Jane pushed away from the counter, smiling at him. She landed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before going upstairs as well.
For a few minutes, Eddie was glued to that same spot in the kitchen. He raked a hand through his hair, pushing back his fringe and making some strands stick up.
After gathering some semblance of composure, he walked back to the couch and crouched down to be at eye level with you.
Your cheek was pressed to the couch and one of your arms hung loosely from the edge, your fingertips grazing the wooden floor. Eddie deeply wanted to have his camera with him.
Raising a hand to poke your cheek, Eddie woke you up.
"Hmm no." You grumbled, opening your eyes to peer at him with a disapproving look before burying your head on the couch with a grunt.
"Come on, sleepy head. Let's get you to bed." Eddie was having none of your poutings, he easily put his hands under your arms and lifted you up to a sitting position.
You unenthusiastically slapped his hands away, trying to run your fingers through your mess of hair. "Ugh, you're mean, y'know." Eventually, you got up and started to walk up the stairs to sleep properly on the bed.
"Shut it," Eddie argued back with a smirk, walking closely behind you in case you'd stumble, "you love me."
You sighed, reaching for the doorknob of your room. "You know me too well." You thanked the heavens that you'd both showered earlier because you'd definitely be sleeping without it if you hadn't.
Unceremoniously, you threw yourself on the bed. Eddie followed soon after turning the lights off.
Shuffling under the covers, your hand found grip around Eddie's shirt. "Come here." You mumbled. And you would be blaming all of it on your sleepy brain in the morning, but right now you were tired, and Eddie was warm and comfortable.
"Hm?"
"Just come here, Eds."
"O-okay okay, coming." Praying for you to not feel his thundering heart under your hand, Eddie hugged you close, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder again.
Eddie's lips parted with shaky breaths. The hand he had around your waist grazed a patch of skin, courtesy of your pushed-up shirt. He shivered. This felt way too intimate.
But you were relaxed, one arm draped over his abdomen as if you'd done this countless times.
Eddie closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel it too, nuzzling his nose into your hair and tracing random patterns over your stretched arm.
"You know, they can be a bit much sometimes but… but I like your family." He said quietly, not above a whisper in case you were already sleeping.
"They like you." You told him, voice wobbly, slipping in and out of consciousness.
Several beats passed, and your breathing evened again. Moonlight bathed the room, and Eddie's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness.
"Maybe we could try this for real sometime." He whispered, quieter than before. A plea thrown in the open for no one to hear anymore.
Tomorrow would be your last day here. Tomorrow you'd be going back to Hawkins.
Sunday was a quiet day in the beach house. You woke up the same way as the day before, with you and Eddie in a mess of tangled limbs.
You knew Eddie had woken up before you, being able to feel his fingers absentmindedly messing with strands of your hair as your eyes opened for the first time in the morning. You didn't say anything as you snuggled up closer to him, and he didn't say anything as his arms tightened around you.
Part of you knew you'd have to talk about it, eventually. Because you'd be going home later today. And an even bigger part of you was dreading the talk; the one that would end whatever it was that happened in the last days.
Sunday was a day for relaxing, always has been. Everyone knew it was the last day in the house, everyone already woke up with the bitter taste of goodbye on their tongues.
But you enjoyed the day until the last minute;
Before breakfast, when Kathy and her husband asked if you'd like to accompany them to the nearby market. You enjoyed walking the familiar streets with Eddie's fingers loosely intertwined with yours, telling him a few stories of when you were growing up here.
During breakfast, with everyone sitting together at the table, already making plans for next year's gathering.
And when, as it also could be considered tradition, the whole family went for a walk on the beach. Feet burying in the sand and splashing the water of the waves.
You basked in the utopian feeling of sitting together on the porch, watching as the sun started to descend over the water ahead, painting the sky orange and pink, turning the waves golden. And Eddie was always there, with you, and it felt so right for him to be there.
Your parents had already left about an hour ago, having work early tomorrow morning and with the drive not being a fast one, they didn't want to arrive in Hawkins too late.
Seagulls were flying by, their singing mixing with the crashing of waves on the shore. And the sun was only getting lower.
You sat on the railings of the porch with Eddie in your arms, standing between your knees. It reminded you of your first night here, just two days ago, and yet it felt like so much had changed. Eddie was talking with Sean, one of his hands was around your waist and the other moved around enthusiastically as he said something about DnD.
There was no telling how things would be once you were back in Hawkins, once the whole couple facade was broken. Anxiety was hot in the pit of your stomach, all because of the grave you dug for yourself. How naive, to think you'd be okay after having a taste of what it would be like to call Eddie yours and then having to let him go.
Twirling a curl of his hair on your fingers, you took a last glance over the beach. You only noticed the bouncing of your knee when Eddie laid a hand on top of it, calming down the movement.
Sean was long gone, and from the look on Eddie's eyes, he has been watching your profile for a while. "You okay?" He frowned.
You pursed your lips. Suddenly, you felt like crying. "Yeah, fine." You swallowed once, then took in a breath. "We… we have to go, Eddie. Or we'll get home too late."
Eddie's lips parted, he had words on the tip of his tongue that he bit back, instead settling for; "yeah, you're right."
He helped you down, his hand gently holding onto yours, and with that, you intertwined your fingers with his one last time.
Ever since you moved to Hawkins, today just might be the day where it hurt the most to throw your bags in the trunk of the car to leave the beach house, you weren't expecting to have enjoyed the trip so much.
You bid your family goodbye with a tight hug to each of them, laughing as your grandmother squished Eddie's cheeks and told him how much of a good boy he was. And just like that, you were on the road again.
The car's engine rumbled to life, Eddie turned it around in the driveway and towards the street. You kept your eyes on the rearview mirror, watching as the white wooded house got smaller and smaller in front of the setting sun, the hands of your grandparents happily waving goodbye.
Rolling down your window, you allowed the coastal air to fill your nostrils, extending an arm out the window to feel the wind. You tipped your head back against the seat, closing your eyes.
Unbeknownst to you, Eddie switched his gaze between you and the road ahead. His eyes followed the line of your eyebrows and the curve of your lips, with the passing shoreline as background. Part of him wanted to ask what happens now? But the moment felt too delicate to be broken. He turned on the radio instead.
Around the halfway point of driving back, you and Eddie decided to stop at a gas station to pick up some snacks and fill the gas tank. It was dark already, insects were gathering under the artificial lights of the gas station. Only two other cars were there, from people with rather tired looks on their faces, — Eddie noticed, as he walked side by side with you to the convenience store — travelers too, no doubt.
There was a stray dog there, caramel in its color, who came to both of you with its tail wagging. You kneeled to pet him and Eddie followed suit; it was all casualty and routine, none of you mentioning the huge elephant in the room.
Inside, you went rummaging through the bags of chips whilst Eddie scanned the freezers for the drinks.
When he had both soda cans in hand, Eddie made his way to you. Without so much of a warning, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pressing the ghost of a kiss to your hairline in a moment of heart overtaking brain, before saying; "found that one you were telling me to try out, let's see if it's any good." He wiggled the can in his hand.
The bag of chips on your hands nearly popped open with the way you squeezed it, a shiver running down your spine with Eddie's affection. Your words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. "Uh we're not at the house anymore, Eddie, there's no need to pretend here." You forced out a chuckle, if anything, to try and cut through the tension looming around you.
Eddie had never pulled himself away from you so quickly. He gulped, his eyes looking anywhere but you as he shifted his stance. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I- I forgot." He grimaced, shaking his head.
"It's alright. No biggie." You mumbled back, hating yourself for making it weird. It was never supposed to be like that, Eddie has always been affectionate, even before this whole ordeal, why did it suddenly feel like… everything had more meaning?
You made a beeline for the bored cashier, desperate to have something take your mind off of the situation.
The cold from the soda cans on Eddie's hands was starting to pierce his skin and make it sting. He watched your quick steps away from him, watched how you took a piece of his heart with you and made the remaining one inside his chest bleed.
You and Eddie walked back to the car in silence, each one holding a bag. Only as you were about to open the passenger's door, that Eddie extended a hand to graze the skin on your wrist, it was enough to hold you in place and get you to reluctantly turn to him.
Eddie licked his lips, fumbling with his rings in anticipation. "Look, I'm- I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable these last days. It was never my intention, I promise, I wouldn't-"
"Eddie no, you-" you stopped him, because the way his chocolate eyes were glistening under the street lights made your throat feel tight. Boundaries be damned, you thought to yourself, it's not like we haven't gone way past them already. You took his hands on yours, brushing his knuckles softly. "You could never make me uncomfortable, okay? Never. I'm just… a bit bummed that we're leaving, that's all."
In a haste, you brought one of his hands to your lips, planting a tender kiss on his fingers and mumbling; "don't worry." You managed a reassuring smile before getting into the car. A smile that Eddie saw right through.
It was already late at night when you arrived at Forest Hills Trailer Park. Eddie parked your car a little far from his trailer, you didn't comment on it.
The night sky was gloomy, several clouds hiding the stars. There seemed to be some kind of gathering happening on one of the other trailers, you could hear excited voices and music flowing through the air.
Gravel crushed under your feet as you exited the car, ready to help Eddie take his bags inside; but he didn't let you, he jogged his way around the front of the car and to you.
"Y/N, can we… talk?" He half extended a hand towards you, giving you the chance to let him in or push him away.
Seconds felt like hours as you stared at his outstretched hand, until you finally took it, fingers lazily hooking together, the folds on your skin fitting with his. Eddie pushed himself up on the hood of your car, sitting there and pulling you between his legs, close enough that you had to lay your hands on his waist. A smile tugged at your lips at the familiarity.
You avoided his eyes though, keeping your gaze on the belt loops of his pants you were playing with.
With a gentleness most people wouldn't believe he was capable of if you told them, Eddie traced the outline of your jaw, urging you to meet his eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart? You've been quiet ever since we left the beach house."
You bit onto the inside of your cheek until you tasted iron, the beginning of tears pooling on the bottom lid of your eyes. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I- I never should've asked you to do it." You choked out.
He frowned at your words, the hand he had on your waist pulled you closer in an attempt of comfort.
"Going there, with me…" You elaborated. "I feel like… it might have been a mistake."
Eddie gulped, his lips pulling thin to stop their trembling. "A mistake?"
"Last thing I wanted was for this whole fake dating thing to get in the way of our friendship." You brushed the sleeve of your hoodie under your nose, sniffing to hold back your tears.
Chances were; you were feeling awkward about being around Eddie now, or — and he took a leap of faith in even allowing his brain to conjure up the thought — he might just be lucky enough that you feel the same way he does.
Holding tight to every last bit of courage inside him, Eddie took a deep breath, pushing strands of hair behind your ear; "were we… ever faking it?" His voice came out much quieter than he intended. "Or- or did I just imagine what we had? Because it felt real sometimes."
The last of his words came out in a breath, big brown eyes tearing up under the cheap lighting of the trailer park the same way yours was, looking at you with blown pupils; and at that moment, you realized there would never be a reality in which you wouldn't fall for him.
Your silence made Eddie's hands fidget with your hoodie. He squirmed in his seat, heart in his throat. "Because, I think I'd like it to be real."
The air in your lungs left you in a breath that didn't come back, and you were glad Eddie was holding you because your legs just about turned to jelly. "You serious?"
Eddie chuckled, a fond smile on his lips. "To be totally real with you, I wasn't faking any of it."
You tugged at the collar of his jacket, moving closer and leaning your forehead to his. You smiled when Eddie nuzzled your nose with his. "Neither was I."
Eddie's cheeks hurt with how big his smile got, his eyes crinkling on the sides. "Then, I'm guessing we won't have to tell your parents we're breaking up?"
Pulling away with a smile of your own, you lifted a brow. "That's what you're focusing on?" A stray tear dropped from your eye, now more in happiness than anything else.
Eddie brushed it away with his thumb in a gentle touch, pulling you in to lay a kiss on your forehead. He was buzzing with happiness, his heart light with joy and affection. He closed his eyes for only a second, lips still grazing your skin, to take in the feeling of finally, truly having you.
He pulled away but kept his hold on you, a boyish grin on his face. "Oh and, you know, the fact that maybe I can call you my girl for real from now on? No biggie."
You gripped his thighs and tilted your head with a grin, leaning your body closer to his. "You may."
Eddie didn't waste a second in pulling you in for a kiss, he was all passion and neediness, with a tight grip on you as if you'd go away if he let go.
The metal of your car was cold against you as you leaned a hand on it, the other going up to Eddie's head and burying itself in his curls. His lips were soft, tender, and perfect. It tasted different, kissing him for real.
A kiss that was soon broken by shared giggles, by the way Eddie hugged your body to his and gently swayed you both from side to side.
You wouldn't have to fake break up with him after all; and who knows, maybe next year, when you both drive down to the beach house as a real couple, this can be a funny story to tell over dinner.