Archive of Our Own

Surprisingly, the slap wasn't what made him notice.

To be quite honest, Gavin didn't even register the pain until after he'd run back over to the camera and stopped recording, the giddy excitement that was burning up inside of him making it hard to notice much else. Dan looked over at him with a blinding grin as he rubbed his cheek. 

"Did you get it?" He asked.

"Yeah!" Gavin grinned back. "Com'ere and look at it, it looks top."

He moved the footage back to the exact moment of the slap and stepped back a bit to let Dan look over his shoulder. The clip was majestic, really. The way the sunglasses flew away, the way Dan's cheek squished and his whole body moved with the action. Gavin winced sympathetically with a chuckle, nearly feeling a sting of pain on his own cheek at the sight.

No, not nearly. Gavin frowned and rubbed his cheek, frowning harder when a slight spike of pain shot through him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Dan wince ever so slightly.

Huh.

It's a coincidence, Gavin said to himself as he moved to play the clip back again. My soulmate was just hit at the same time Dan was— hell, it might not even be a soul wound! Maybe I'm just being a bloody idiot—

"What was that, B?"

"Hmm?" Gavin looked over at Dan, who was staring at him with a questioning glare and a small smirk. Gavin blinked and shook his head, realizing that he was spacing out. The pain was well faded now, anyways. It was probably nothing. "Oh, uh, nothing, B," he said, "Nevermind."

"If you say so, mate." He looked back at the slap again, awe settling on his face. Gavin couldn't help but look at him instead of the footage this time. 

The next one they did was Dan's fireball, and Gavin pretended not to notice his hand tingling each time Dan held the lighter close to his own. Just a coincidence, Gavin reminded himself. It's all just a bloody coincidence and I'm being stupid. That's all.

It was easy enough to zone out during the coin challenge, to just focus on grabbing the coins and pressing record when needed. Less easy to do so when Dan gave him a joking sneer and tossed him the football that they had filled with water earlier. Gavin stumbled a bit as he caught it, surprised by the sudden weight of it.

"Oh, this'll right hurt, won't it?"

Dan laughed, but Gavin could tell there were some nerves in it. "Yeah, I bet you're glad you're not the one getting mullered by it, aren't you?"

They got into position. Gavin held the football in his hands. Stared down at it. Dan stood in front of him, already bracing for impact. Throw it, Gavin reminded himself. Throw it, then run for the camera. No matter what, just hit record. No matter what happens. Not like anything's going to happen! 

"Bloody hell, Gav, just do it!"

Gavin took a deep breath. Throw it, hit record. Throw it, hit record. The slap was a coincidence. Throw the ball, hit record.

"I'll count us down, ok? From three."

Dan nodded, shifting on his feet and clenching his fists, squeezing his face shut.

"Hey, eyes open and teeth out, yeah?" Gavin said and he moved the ball to one hand, preparing to throw. "I really want to see the whole skull shake and everything."

"You're insane," Dan laughed, but did it anyway.

"Ok." Gavin lifted his arm back. "Three…"

He threw the ball. Turned back to the camera, a grin already splitting his face —

Gavin felt, rather than saw, the football hitting Dan's face, an echo of the same pain rattling his own skull. Felt his breath get knocked out of him for a split second, felt his jaw slide out of place before sliding right back to where it belonged. Managed to reach the camera without doubling over out of pain or shock. 

Hit record.

Mission accomplished.

"That wasn't counting down, you prick!" Dan laughed, then groaned as he opened his mouth to try and work out the lingering ache. Both boys hissed as the same shot of pain flashed through their jaws at the movement.

Gavin felt frozen to his spot, unable to move, barely able to breathe. Dan's ear was quickly turning a vibrant shade of red, a sentiment likely mirrored in his own ear if the throbbing was anything to go by.

"Got you right in the ear, didn't I?" Gavin gave a weak chuckle, which Dan wholeheartedly returned. 

"Yeah, can you tell?"

I can feel it, Gavin didn't say. At it was, he just stood there, mouth open, dumbfounded. Closed his mouth because he was sure it looked stupid, then opened it again to try and talk, failed again, closed it, rinse repeat.

Dan finally seemed to notice something was off. He stepped forward, brow furrowed, still rubbing the side of his face. "You good there, B?"

"Uh… yeah! Yep. I—" Gavin gulped, looking away. "'m fine. Sorry."

"You sure?" Dan was closer now, stepping into Gavin's personal space. "No offense, B, but you look like you're about to break down or something. I dunno."

"I…" Gavin took a shaky breath as he started to roll the footage back, pointedly not looking at his friend as he wracked his brain to try and figure out where to go from here.

He could run. Run away and never look back, never talk to Dan again, ignore him at all costs. …And consequently not ever upload to the channel, which would suck balls because this was his going to be his ticket to a Visa and— and that just wasn't an option, as much as he wanted it to be.

He could ignore it ever happened. He'd know, always, deep down, that they were soulmates— oh bloody christ they were soulmates, he and Dan were soulmates, he and Dan were soulmates, his soulmate was a guy, oh christ Gavin might throw up—

"Gavin?"

Gavin jumped when Dan put a hand on his shoulder and turned to face his concerned expression. Dan looked him over for a second and kept his hand where it was, the concern never wavering. "You certain you're good? We can stop filming if you'd like."

"No, no, we—" Gavin anxiously ran a hand through his hair. "We haven't got time for that, this is the only time the studio's free. Uh." He chuckled. "Sorry I'm a bit of a mess, though."

"You're good. …What's up?"

He could tell him. Let them figure this out together.

(That was the only real choice he had, wasn't it?)

Gavin took a shaky breath in, then lightly pushed Dan's hand off his shoulder. He kept his eyes trained on the floor between them, unable to look the other in the eyes right then. "I felt it."

He saw Dan freeze. "What?"

"I felt it," Gavin said, voice soft. Scared. He hated this. Jesus, he fucking hated this whole situation. He looked up, eyes drifting back over to the reddened ear as Dan's hand slowly fell from it. "The— the football. Hitting your face. I felt it."

"… Oh."

"Yeah, oh."

"I mean… Are you sure? Maybe it was just a— a coincidence or something—"

"It doesn't bloody feel like a coincidence!"

Dan chuckled at that, and Gavin couldn't help but follow suit, despite it all. When they finally calmed down, Gavin stepped forward, reaching hit hand up to brush the side of Dan's face. Dan followed the movement with confused eyes, but make no move to stop him.

"Um." Dan glanced back at Gavin, then at his hand. "No offense, but what're you doing?"

"No clue."

Dan snorted out another laugh at that as Gavin slowly turned his head to see the impact site better. He winced at the sight of what was clearly a bruise about to form — yes, he felt the pain too, but Dan had it worse as the one who had actually gotten injured.

"We should probably get you some ice for that," Gavin said.

Dan rolled his eyes and put his hand on Gavin's, preparing to shove it away. "It's fine, B, you don't have to go all soft on me just because we've realized we're— uh." He gulped, removing his hand as he stumbled over the word. "You know. Or at least you, like, think we are, or whatever—"

"I do know," God, he wished he didn't, "And that means that I also know that you're in more pain than I am right now, and I bloody hurt, so. Ice."

Dan rolled his eyes again, more dramatically this time. "Christ, fine, Jesus. Get your hand off me, at least."

"Yeah, of course." Gavin didn't move, still staring at Dan's jaw. Yes he realized he was being weird about it, but he couldn't bring himself to look away. He could tell it bloody hurt, and not just because the pain was very much still lingering in himself. He could feel it, yes, but somehow, with his hand over the forming bruise, he could feel it, like if he reached out just a little more, he could grab the pain and soothe it—

"B?"

Gavin pulled away with a small gasp as a tingling sensation jumped into his hand and travelled up his arm before blooming across his face in a barrage of pain. "Fuck!" He doubled over as his skull rattled, suddenly feeling the full force of Dan's pain. The ache pounded for a second before fading as it healed and was over as quickly as it began. Gavin stayed kneeling on the ground, fully winded. "Fuck."

"Did you—" Dan sputtered for a moment before kneeling down next to him. "Did you take my pain or something? Holy shit!"

"I- I think so?" Gavin gave a nervous chuckle.

"I mean, my jaw feels great now, for the record." Dan rubbed it thoughtfully, and Gavin felt a soft push at his own as Dan pressed in on it. "Like nothing ever happened. Are you alright, though? You looked like utter shit for a second there."

"Better now, I think." Gavin took another deep breath, laughing a little as the last bits of adrenaline finished coursing through him. "It was like— I don't— Fuck." He laughed again. "Like, your jaw would have ached the rest of the day, yeah? But when I… did that, I felt all of that rest-of-the-day pain all at once."

"Sounds like shit."

"It was. Never make me do that again."

Dan made an offended noise and put a hand to his chest. "You say that as if I knew what the hell you were gonna do!”

"Well- You—" Gavin cut himself off when he couldn't think of a good enough comeback and sighed. "Fair enough. But hey, at least we know for sure now, right? Only, uh." He chewed on his lip, looking away. "Only soulmates can do that, I think."

Dan's face fell into a sour expression Gavin couldn't quite make out. "Yeah," he said, voice soft as he became lost in thought. "Yeah, you're right." 

There was silence for a moment before Dan blinked and shook his head a bit, clearing it of what had been troubling him for just a moment. "Hey, wait, B, is the camera still on?"

"What?"

"The other one, the main one." He nodded towards the camera in question. "The not-Phantom, you know."

Gavin turned and stared at the blinking red light for a moment. "Huh, I guess it is." He turned it off. "Thanks, B."

"Yeah, 'course."

"Next one, then?"

"Yep."

Gavin could feel Dan's eyes weighing him down as his hands lingered on the camera. Neither moved, held captive by the tension permeating the entire studio.

"The mouse traps next, right?" Dan finally said.

Gavin nodded.

Dan hummed and stepped away to grab the box of traps they had bought the day before. "What, uh." Gavin heard Dan pause, then the scrape of the box ending picked up, but Dan didn't start walking back just yet. "What should we do if one of us gets pinched?"

Gavin did look at him at that; that wasn't something he had thought about. Well, of course it wasn't, he just found out about being soulmates, of course he hadn't been thinking about it— "Uh…" He shrugged. "Try and hide it, I suppose. If you're the other one and all that."

Dan nodded and put the traps down on the table.

Gavin turned back to the camera to pick it up and move it over to where they would be filming the next one. "We can talk about it later, yeah, B?"

Dan hummed in acknowledgement. "You sure about this rat trap, by the way?" He picked it up to inspect it closer. "It looks absolutely lethal."

"You'll be fine, you big baby."

"Will you be fine, though?" Dan raised an eyebrow, and Gav scoffed and rolled his eyes. And just like that, everything went back to normal.

They didn't actually talk about it until about a week later. They were playing Halo in Dan's room, like they usually did every weekend — well, every weekend they could, these days, with Gavin constantly flying back and forth between the U.K. and America to put as much time into his Rooster Teeth job as he could until he could get his Visa approved. Add the number of videos they were trying to film for the Slow Mo Guys channel to their schedule, and suddenly Halo nights weren't actually that common at all, anymore.

The round ended. Gavin put his controller down to exchange it for his drink, and he took a sip as he pushed himself up further onto the bed, pulling his knees up. He glanced over at Dan, who was starting to enter a new round and was too engrossed in the screen to look back at him.

"So," Gavin said, taking another sip before picking his controller back up and putting it in his lap so it was ready when the round started. "You still joining the army or what?"

"Huh?" Dan looked back at him. "I mean… yeah. Why do you ask?"

"I dunno." Gavin shrugged. "I'm just… I'm off in America doing all this shit with Rooster Teeth, I wanna make sure you're still having fun without me. Or whatever. You know what I mean, B."

"Yeah, I do." Dan shoved him playfully. "I don't need you to have fun, B, you know that, right?"

"Can a man not be worried about his friend's social life?" Gavin shoved him back with a laugh. "I mean, seriously Dan, you can't spend forever cooped up in your grandparents' spare room, you'll never meet any girls that way."

"Well I've already found my soulmate, so why should it matter?"

Gavin paused, the playfulness suddenly leaving him. "Oh yeah."

"Speaking of which," Dan barrelled on as if he didn't notice the sudden awkwardness. Or maybe he was just ignoring it. He put his controller down and stood up, going over to a mess of papers on his dresser and rummaging around. "Ha, here it is!" He took one out and held it out towards Gavin. "You, um. You've gotta sign this."

"What?" Gavin took it, slowly unfurling himself from his comfy position on the bed as he leaned forward. "Why do I— oh.”

Whatever joy he had in the moment left him in a rush of air as he skimmed over the document.

… hereby acknowledges that his/her soulmate is joining the British Army in service under Her Majesty …

… soulmate's risk of injury, partial dismemberment, or death …

… will be contacted in the event of major injury or death …

… British Armed Forces is not liable for any soul pain that the signee may face in his/her soulmate's time of service …

Most of it was legal jargon that Gavin couldn't get heads or tails of, honestly. But he understood the gist of it. And at the bottom there was a line for his signature, then a few more for his address and email and phone number to contact him.

His hands were shaking. When did that start? His hands were shaking, he couldn't breathe, he couldn't breathe—

"B?" Dan's hands were on him in an instant, and Gavin— couldn't, he couldn't, he wasn't ready for this, for any of it, wasn't ready to have a soulmate, wasn't ready for it to be fucking Dan, of all people, wasn't ready for him to join the army, wasn't ready to sign some stupid piece of bloody paper that said that Dan might die, basically. It said that Dan might die and Gavin would feel it and he wasn't even allowed to sue the fucking army because of course he wouldn't because that would be too easy, wouldn't it, having someone to pin the blame on? Of course it would.

Gavin pushed Dan away, feeling tears start to form in his eyes. He didn't cry, why the hell was he about to cry? He took a shaky breath in, curling back up on the bed to try and stop himself from hyperventilating. His attempts were in vain, but when he squeezed his eyes shut he could pretend that Dan wasn't there, so it had to count for something.

"Gav? You alright?" Dan's voice was soft. Softer than it had any right to be, honestly, given the situation. Gavin wiped his eyes (he wasn't crying, he swore to god he wasn't crying), sniffed, took a deep breath, then wiped his eyes again. 

"No, I'm not— I'm not bloody alright!" Another deep breath. He clenched the paper as tight as he dared, then looked at it again. "I— 'partial dismemberment??' Why the fuck did they think that was a good idea to add that fucking line?! Who the hell wrote this?!"

"Is that actually a line in there?" Dan took the paper to read over it himself, letting out a soft "oh, bugger me" when he got to the part. "Some real sick son of a bitch, that's who," he said as he handed the paper back.

Gavin chuckled. "God, I just… I hadn't thought of this sort of stuff yet. It hadn't hit me."

"Yeah," Dan sighed. "Me neither."

"None of it's hit me, really.  That we're supposed to be… you know."

"Like, together and shit?" Dan ran a hand through his hair and blew out a huff of air. "Yeah, no, that… yep. That. Is a thing as well, innit?"

"When you say it out loud, it feels real."

"Yeah," Dan whispered. "Yeah, it does."

"… Does it have to be?"

"How do you mean?"

"Well…" Gavin shrugged and tried to swallow down some of his nerves. "Nobody else knows that we're gay and shit now, right?"

"Just because we're soulmates doesn't mean we're gay, B."

"Doesn't it, though?" Gavin squinted at Dan. "Doesn't it?"

"I…" There's a beat as Dan pondered that. "Christ, yeah, I guess. Or, I mean, you can like both, right? Or maybe I'm just supposed to like you—"

"Anyways," Gavin continued, "If nobody else knows, then nobody will be on our backs telling us to get together and shit. We don't have to, you know, acknowledge it or anything."

"If we don't say it, it's not real."

"Yeah. That."

Dan hummed thoughtfully. "Well… flaw in that is that the army bloody well knows by now."

"Well— yes, but—"

"And you'll have to update your Visa application."

Christ, Gavin hadn't even thought of that. "You knew what I meant, B. Nobody we know will know. So nothing has to change." He looked at Dan with a challenge in his eyes. "Right?"

Dan sat back down on the bed, silently thinking it over. Gavin kept his eyes trained on him, but Dan kept staring straight ahead. "Yeah," he finally muttered. "I s'pose so."

"Unless you… don't want that?"

"No, I…" Dan sighed and ran his hand through his hair again. "I do, I— I mean, to be perfectly honest, B, I don't exactly want to kiss you. No offense."

"None taken."

"But… I dunno, we're soulmates. But you're moving the bloody second your Visa's greenlit, and I'm off to the army, and you're…" He gestured vaguely at Gavin's whole body. "You know." 

"No?"

"A guy."

"… Ah."

"But we're still soulmates. And I… I guess I just don't get it. It all feels like a bloody joke the universe's playing on us."

"And it's not a very funny one, gonna be honest, B."

"Yeah." Dan smiled, but it looked lost, out of place. "You're telling me."

Gavin signed the paper later that night, not looking at the terms above the line as he robotically moved the pen. He folded the paper up, handed it to Dan with a forced smile, and went home. 

"Don't tell anyone" was quickly becoming easier said than done. Well, they were fine with people in-person — they were at the age where they weren't young enough to be in awe at the concept of soulmates, and weren't old enough that it was weird that they hadn't found theirs yet, so nobody would be bringing soulmates up unless they initiated the conversation. Or got badly hurt in front of each other. Which rarely happened, honestly. In front of the camera, however, was a different story.

"How hard was that to hold in?" Dan asked after filming the champagne quark to the face video. He had an ice pack on his cheek, and Gavin was steadily growing more and more tempted to steal it away from him to soothe his own pain the longer Dan hogged it.

"Very," Gavin groaned. "I shouldn't have been so in front of the camera, to be honest. Dunno how obvious I was.”

"I told you it was a stupid idea, B."

"It was highly requested! Don't blame me, blame our idiot viewers."

"Oh I will, can, and have." Dan groaned again before sitting up and throwing the ice pack at Gavin.

"Oi!" Gavin winced at he was hit in the stomach, then scrambled to pick it up off the floor and press it to his own face. "What was that for?"

Dan chuckled. "You needed it, didn't you? I could see you eyeing it the past few minutes."

"Oh." Gavin looked away and brought the pack to his cheek, ignoring the stirring of his heart. "Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah, 'course. Besides, I don't think you're supposed to hold it to your face for so long, anyways. Freeze burns and all that."

Gavin hummed. There was calm silence for a beat before Dan spoke again.

"You're cleaning the champagne off the windows, though."

"Wha- hey!" Gavin sputtered and sat up, staring indignantly at Dan, who had a shit-eating grin on his face. "I'm in pain, B, you can't do this to me!"

"And so am I! Plus, I have it worse than you, and also this video was your idea—"

"It was the viewers' idea—"

"So I think it's only fair, really."

"Your mum's fair."

Dan squinted at him and threw his hands out as he laughed at the bad joke. "That doesn't even make sense."

"Hey," Gavin said after he finished laughing. "If I took your pain, would you clean the windows?"

"How do you mean?"

"Like with the football. When I—"  Gavin waved his free hand around in a vague, flappy gesture. "You know."

Dan hummed. "Yeah, I remember."

"C'mere then." Gavin sat forward, putting the ice pack down to make grabby hands at Dan. Dan groaned, rolled his eyes playfully, then sat forward so Gav could reach his cheek.

Gavin reached out and brushed his cheek, shivering a little at the tingling feeling he felt as he made contact. It was Dan's soul, he realized. It hummed under the surface of his skin, pulsing out where the pain lay. Gav could feel his own reach out to touch it softly, could feel his own soothe the other, gathering up the pain and bundling it away, pulling it back, back, tugging slightly against Dan's as it tried desperately to keep a hand on it, to share part of the burden. 

It tugged until it snapped, and Gavin hissed rubbed his cheek at the sharp thwack of pain that erupted on it. 

"You good?" Dan asked, concerned.

Gavin waved him off. "I'm fine, you tosser. It's practically gone now, anyways."

"You sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure." Gavin laughed. "Well, now that I've done this great and wonderful thing for you… you'll clean the windows, right?"

Dan glared for a minute. Two minutes. Gavin raised an eyebrow, unrelenting. Dan eventually grumbled, looking away. "Fine, ok, jesus."

"Yes!"

Gavin taking Dan's pain became a regular thing. They'd film a video, Dan would get the brunt of whatever they were doing for it, and then Gav would turn the cameras off, step in, and soothe him with a nervous smile to try and cover up his own winces. Dan would always insist that he didn't have to, and Gavin would always insist that this was the best way; it helped to keep things from the viewers, and Dan felt better after— they both felt better after, which was always the most important thing. Feeling horrible for a few seconds was better than feeling slightly like shit for the day or so it took most bruises to heal.

But Dan had never outright refused him before.

Admittedly, putting water on an oil fire… wasn't the best video idea Gavin's ever had. Definitely within the top 10 worst video ideas, in fact. But it was also a bloody brilliant idea — looked cool, was pretty dangerous, and was also somewhat informative? That's the pinnacle of the Slow Mo Guys channel. They had to do it. Or, at the very least, try.

They set everything up, with plenty of safety precautions in the background — well, like, a couple, but it was enough. They filmed their intro, Dan lit the oil fire and grabbed his small pot full of water, and Gavin shoved a camera in his face. The usual.

"You nervous, B?"

Dan looked at him, then down at the pot of water, then at the fire, then back at him. "I'd be insane not to be, honestly."

Gavin laughed. "Fair enough!"

They got into their positions, Gavin behind the Phantom and Dan standing tall above the flames. "Ready, B?" Dan called out.

"Yep!"

"Alright, here goes!" Dan held the pot out in front of him. "3, 2, 1—"

He flipped it over. There was a flash, then horrible, horrible pain. Gavin collapsed, and faintly, he could hear Dan screaming. That got his attention pretty quick, so he looked up and did his best to ignore the pain. "Dan?!"

Dan groaned, clenching his jaw. He was still standing somehow, and had taken a couple steps back from the fire — which was bigger now, significantly so, holy shit, ok. That would have to be dealt with first and fucking foremost.

Gavin got up with a small cry and limped over to the pot lid that they had put aside earlier. He limped back and slowly put it over the burning pot, doing his best to ignore how Dan cried out again as Gavin's fingers brushed against the burning hot metal. Fire dealt with. Now Dan.

Luckily, they had also kept the hose unrolled nearby incase one of them did get burned — unluckily, they didn't turn it on, so Gavin had to limp back to the house to do that. When he got back, Dan was already sitting down, pouring the running water over his shin and hand. Gavin sighed, already feeling the relief, and collapsed down beside him and pressed down on his own burn.

"Don't do that," Dan hissed.

"What?"

"Press down on it, it bloody hurts."

"Well, we only have the one hose."

"Yeah, so don't fucking touch the burn until it's your turn, B, jesus. "

Gavin slowly moved his hand away and hissed through his teeth at the sight of blood starting to bubble up on the burnt skin. His hand itself wasn't faring much better, by the looks of it. An angry red splotch glared at him from near the base of his thumb, making him cry out when he tried to move his finger. "Bullocks," he muttered, then said louder, "B?"

Dan grunted in response and briefly pointed the hose at Gavin. Gavin watched as the blood washed away, then slowly came back when Dan pointed it back at himself. 

"We're bleeding," Gavin said.

"I know. We should probably call 999."

Gavin tensed. "… Or not?"

Dan stared at him for a long second with an unreadable expression. "You're saying you want to take my pain for this?"

"I mean, it's what we always do, yeah?"

Dan hummed, then pointed the hose at Gavin again. "No. Not this time."

Gavin shifted his leg so it was easier to point at, resting his hand beside it so it would be under the stream as well. He furrowed his eyebrows. "And why not?"

"Because this—" Dan gestured roughly at the both of them, splashing a bit of water on Gav's lab coat. "This is serious, B! Bloody christ this one's serious. And I'm not— I'm not gonna let you take something like this, oh my god. This'll take weeks to heal, you— you can't! You can't take something like this, you might… I dunno, lose your leg or something—"

"How would this make me lose a leg?" Gavin chuckled.

"You know what I mean! I hate it when I have to see you take all the pain. I know it's only for a few seconds, but jesus, you don't— You don't get it! I hate seeing you in any pain, but especially…" Dan sighed. "Especially with something like this. This is too much, B. I can't let you take all of this in good conscience."

"I don't like seeing you in pain either, you doughnut," Gavin said softly. "That's why I take it."

"Well, you don't have to." Dan smiled. "Not every time."

"But if I'm there, may as well, right?"

"Not every time. I can handle myself."

"I know that, just…" Gavin sighed, and pushed Dan's hand so he was pointing the hose back at himself. "Why do you care so much?"

"What do you mean?" Dan furrowed his eyebrows. "Of course I care, you're my B."

Those words stuck with Gavin. Of course he cared. He's his B.

Gavin took another minute to gather himself enough to grab his phone from inside and call for an ambulance. He managed to put the cameras inside while they waited, out of sight from whoever arrived so they would hopefully not judge them so harshly. Being stupid with an oil fire was one thing, but being stupid with an oil fire for the internet was probably not a conversation either of them wanted to have with a stranger right then. He sat back down next to Dan when he was done and leaned back against his shoulder. He closed his eyes and hummed peacefully when he felt the coolness of the water on his leg again.

The ambulance arrived, and two paramedics hopped out, the shorter one going over to the two of them to assess the injuries, the other looking out over the carnage of the back garden. 

"How exactly did this happen?" The taller one asked. 

Dan shrugged. "We were idiots."

"Yeah, that." Gavin nodded. "Big minging idiots."

The taller one nodded in agreement. "Well right, by the looks of it."

"At least you knew to run water over the burns," the one patching them up said. "Some people can't even do that."

Dan and Gavin chuckled a bit at that, and the paramedic smiled, clearly glad that they were able to lighten up. 

She paused, then, looking between the identical burns on their legs and hands. Then she looked up and stared long and hard at the two of them, each in turn. Gavin felt his heart start to seize under the scrutiny of her gaze.

"Did you both get burned, or…?" She trailed off, gesturing vaguely between the two of them.

They glanced at each other. "Um," Gavin looked down, chewing on his bottom lip. "Soul pain. He's the one that got hit, though, so."

She nodded and focused her attention on Dan without question. Gavin let go of a breath he didn't know he was holding.

Later, after they got a ride to the emergency clinic, after they — well, mostly Dan — had been bandaged up, long after they had been left alone, they sat on a bench, waiting for Dan's grandfather to pick them up. Dan turned and gave Gavin a small, questioning look. 

Why? It said. Why let so many new people know our secret when lying would have been nearly as good? Not completely as good, of course; anything they would have done to Gavin would have been fruitless, after all, since he wasn't the one who got hurt. Letting the doctors know they were soulmates let them fix them up faster. 

Gavin just shrugged. "You're my B," he said. "I don't… I don't care if they know, I don't think, as long as you're alright." He looked away. "It felt nice to say it, too, you know. I dunno why, but…" He sighed, shrugged again. "I know I was the one who said not to acknowledge it. But it's… I liked acknowledging it. I dunno."

"I makes it real, though. Saying it out loud."

"Yeah." Gavin scraped his shoe along the pavement, swinging his still aching leg back and forth. "Yeah, it does."

Dan kept looking at him questioningly, long enough that Gavin could feel his stare burning into his cheek. He glanced back over at Dan, then looked away quickly to try and hide a soft blush, mentally cursing himself as he felt his face heat up. It was true, though, what Gavin had said. He'd do anything for Dan.

And that was… That was something, wasn't it? It was one hell of a realization at the very least, that's for sure. Gavin swallowed down his nerves and spared a glance back up at him, who was staring off towards the road now, clearly lost in his own thoughts. 

"Thanks," Dan eventually said, his voice low, soft, and genuine. He scooted over to press his shoulder into Gavin's and stayed there. Gavin looked out towards the road with him, if only to ignore how comforting Dan's warmth felt beside him.

Something shifted between them after that, something that largely went unsaid. Dan would still get hurt for videos, and Gavin would still put the camera down and rush over to him each and every time to take the pain. But there was a softness to it now that wasn’t there before, something in the way Gavin would hold Dan carefully, as if afraid to hurt him further. Something in the way Dan would smile in the wake of the newfound relief and catch Gavin’s hand as he slipped away behind the camera again and whisper “thank you” in a voice only Gavin ever got to hear. They would go on talk shows and shoot knowing looks at each other whenever someone made a comment about what Dan’s soulmate must be wondering. On the ride home, Dan would rest his left arm between them and Gavin would cling to it as he gushed excitedly about his dreams of America, spurred on by the peace of Dan's soul thrumming under his fingertips, a constant, soothing presence.

Dan went on his first tour and Gavin felt so lonely he could barely breathe. He tried to plan his trips to America to coincide with the tours after that. It was easier to ignore how much he was pining after his friend if he buried himself in Rooster Teeth work, after all. If he leaped into Dan’s arms every time they met up in England again, well, that’s between them (and the couple dozen people in the airport with them who refused to look them in the eye, but the two never seemed to notice).

“If I’m being honest, B, you’re the only reason I keep coming back to England,” Gavin said one day. They were in Dan’s kitchen, his grandparents out for the day, Dan struggling to open a particularly stubborn jar of pickles while Gavin leaned casually against the counter as he watched.

“Really?” Dan gleaned up with a smile. “Well if that’s the case, I’m kinda doing a shit job at it, aren’t I— can’t even get a fucking pickle for you.” Gavin laughed as Dan’s hand slipped and he dropped the jar on the counter with a suprised grunt. Luckily, the jar didn’t break, so Dan picked it up and tried again.

“Yeah,” Gavin said. He reached out. “Here, let me try again.”

“You’re not gonna get it.”

“I can try!”

“You tried before and you didn’t get it!”

Gavin did not get it, but he tried his best and that’s what counts. “No it’s not,” said Dan. “What counts is getting a pickle.”

“We could eat literally anything else, you know.”

“You’re the one who wanted the damn pickle!”

Gavin threw his hands up defensively. “Yes, ok, I know! Don’t have to snap at me.”

“I’m not snapping. ”

“Yes you are.”

“Oh my goodness, shut the fuck up and give me back the pickle jar.”

Gavin tried to open it one last time (without avail) before relenting. “Would you be willing to come to America for me?”

Dan paused, jar in hand, and looked at Gavin quizzically. There was a soft thunk as he rested it on the counter. “How do you mean? Like, move there with you?”

“No, no, not that, I know you… Don’t want to move there as much as I do. I mean—” Gavin made an unsure noise as he tilted his head in thought. “Maybe someday? If- If you wanted, I mean—” He hummed, praying for Dan to interrupt him and save him from his rapidly failing string of words, but Dan just stood there, his hand still on the pickle jar, no help whatsoever. “I mean— If I moved there, permanently, would you be ok with meeting up there to film videos instead of over here, in England?”

“Yeah, of course,” Dan said without question, without hesitation. Then he paused for a second and took Gavin’s words in for what they were. “Wait a minute— your Visa got approved?”

Gavin grinned. “Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!”

“Hell yeah, B!” Pickles left on the counter and forgotten, Dan scooped Gavin up in a hug so strong it sweeped Gavin off the ground. They laughed as Dan swung him around excitedly, the joy of their souls mingling and merging for a moment before putting him down again. “Congrats!”

“Yeah! I—” He laughed again, soul buzzing. “Yeah!”

“When do you go? For good, I mean.”

“Uh… couple weeks, just about? Right before Valentine’s.”

“Damn.” Dan looked away for a second as he ran dates through his head, still smiling. “Right before I leave for my next tour, then?”

“Yeah, right about.”

“Damn.” Dan laughed, shook his head, then hugged Gavin again. “Seriously, though,” he said as he pulled back. “Congrats, Gavin. I know you’ve been working so hard for this for so long. You deserve it, you really do.”

Gavin blushed at the praise. “Stop that, you.”

“I mean it! You’re going to do so well over there, B. I know you will.”

“Thanks.”

“Just don’t, like, I dunno, make a new best friend the day after moving in—”

Gavin laughed. “And how the hell would I manage that?”

“I dunno! But I know you, you just might.”

“Well, thanks, I guess—”

“It was a compliment—”

“But you’re my B, B,” Gavin continued, and took Dan’s hand in his. “Nothing can replace that.”

It was Dan’s turn to blush, now. “I’d hope so.”

“Good.” He smiled, then let go of Dan’s hand and stepped back. “Now, let’s keep trying to get this jar open, and I’ll tell you about Banger Week.”

Dan stepped back to his side of the counter, giving Gavin a knowing look the entire time as he took the jar in his hands again. “And what, pray tell, is ‘Banger Week’?”

Gavin grinned, a spark of mischief in his eyes. “Oh, you’ll love it.”

Dan did love it, for the record. Though he did get hurt, bad enough for him to refuse to let Gavin take the pain, bad enough that the pain kept Gavin from focusing on the footage as they reviewed it. His eyes kept going back to Dan’s finger, bandaged and bloodied and in horrible pain in spite of the grin Dan was sporting to reassure him and the camera. The difference between Gavin and a camera, though, was that Gavin could also feel that piece of glass in Dan’s hand, could know that whatever Dan was feeling was at least ten times worse and ten times worse than whatever Gavin was feeling was bad. Well, actually, there were quite a few differences between Gavin and a camera, but—

“B?” Dan cut through his racing thoughts. “You good?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, sorry, must have been spacing out a bit, sorry.” He looked back at the screen in front of him, at the paint leisurely flying up into the foliage. It was quite beautiful, he did admit. Definitely worth it in the end. Maybe worth it? Maybe not worth it, actually…

He sighed. Glanced back at the camera that was supposed to be recording their reactions, then cut a hand at his throat and shook his head in a nope motion. "I'll, uh, sorry. I'll cut this bit out. Are you good, B?"

Dan furrowed his eyebrows, unsure where Gavin was going with that. "Yeah?"

"I can still feel your bloody hand, you know. I just…" Gavin sighed. "I know you said you're alright, but are you sure? You don't want to go to A&E or anything?"

Dan chuckled softly. "I am, Gav, stop worrying. I've handled worse."

"I know, and I hate that."

"It'll be alright. I promise."

Gavin smiled, grateful for the reassurance, however empty it may be, before rolling his eyes dramatically. "Whatever, alright."

"Glad you agree," Dan laughed. Gav kicked him, smirking at his indignant squawk, and everything felt right again.

The night before Gavin was set to leave, they watched a movie together. Gav could not tell you anything about the movie if pressed, not the title, not the plot, not the main character's name. 

He could tell you about Dan's arm on his shoulder, though. About inching closer until that arm rested on his waist, about the warmth of Dan underneath him as he relaxed and curled into the larger man's side. About the pain in his finger that still hadn't ceased even after over a week, about how he ran his thumb over it again and again and again and again in his worry. About how Dan reached over and grabbed his hand with his own unbandaged one and didn't let go.

The movie ended. Still, they didn't let go.

"Can I tell you something, B?" Gavin whispered into the silence.

Dan tightened his hold on Gavin's waist and hand, so slight that Gav barely noticed it besides a twitch in Dan's fingers. Dan hummed. "Yeah?”

"I'm scared."

Gavin thought of that release paper that Dan had him sign a couple of years ago, now. Of bullets and explosions and danger and war and— 

And he took a deep breath. Glanced up at Dan, then looked away when he caught sight on his concerned frown.

"This isn't my first tour, B."

Gavin sighed. "I know that, I know, I do but… we've never been so far apart, you know? Not for so long."

"… I know."

"And I'm…" Gavin shrugged. "To be honest, B, I'm scared every time you go. Having to see you leave to walk into all that, it's… it's bloody terrifying, it is. 

"Not that I want you to stop," he continued, looking up again. "You love being in the army, I don't want to take that away from you. But I'm just… I'm just scared." He sighed. "Sorry I keep saying it so much, I know I sound stupid, but it's true. I need you to be safe."

"I need you to be safe, too," Dan said. He moved a hand up to card it through the back on Gavin's hair. "America's dangerous, you know. They got… guns and shit."

Gavin snorted. "You sound like my mum."

"Well someone has to look out for you."

Gavin rolled his eyes. "And Geoff and Griffon will do that just fine, I don't need you buggering me as well, you mingepot." He playfully pushed Dan, delighting in the grin he got in response. "I can take care of myself. You don't need to worry."

"Well then you don't need to worry either, do you? I've handled myself well enough on my own so far, too."

"I s'pose so," Gavin relented, and they fell into silence once again. But Gavin's mind was still working, still stressing, and his next words were out of his mouth before he had really caught up with where he was going with them.

"In case…" He sat forward a little, moving out of Dan's arms, but he quickly threw a leg up and over so he was settled in Dan's lap, facing him. Dan's eyes were wide, watching Gavin with barely hidden anticipation as he waited for whatever happened next.

"In case something happens," Gavin continued in a whisper. "Something… something bad—"

"Nothing's gonna happen, B—"

"I know, but just— hear me out! Just hear me out, ok? Just let me do this, shut up."

Dan nodded with a confused smirk. Gavin took a deep breath.

"If something does happen while we're apart, then I… Well." He turned his head a little to clear his throat. Then he turned back, Dan was still staring at him, waiting patiently for his next line. "I mean, I wanna kiss my soulmate at least once, ya know?"

Dan blinked. Licked his lips. Gavin did his best not to track the movement, but to no avail. "Ah," Dan said. "I. Um. That… yeah. I get that."

"Yeah?" Gavin couldn't help but let a hint of excitement leak into his voice.

Dan smiled. "Yeah."

"And would you… I mean is that? Is that alright? Can I?" Gavin swallowed nervously to try and get the sudden dry feeling out of his mouth. "Please?"

"So polite about it," Dan chuckled. He paused, gaze moving down to Gavin's lips. Gavin could feel Dan's heart beating rapidly beneath him where he pressed in ever so slightly closer, could feel the blood pulse through his finger, their fingers, could feel Dan's hand gently placed on his jaw, his other arm around his waist, could feel himself be pulled in closer and closer until Dan froze. Could feel their lips brush together as Gavin closed his eyes and pushed forward until any remaining space between them was gone.

It was soft, tender. Intimate. Everything a first kiss should be. Dan pulled away just enough to take a few deep breaths, resting his forehead against Gavin's. 

Gavin watched Dan's eyes as they stared into his own, then flicked down to look at his face, his lips, then back into his eyes again. They were such a rich shade of brown, with criss crossing patterns so beautiful and stunning that it was a wonder that Gavin had never taken the time to notice it before.

"Oh bugger me," Dan muttered, breathless. Gavin pushed him away to laugh out loud.

Dan couldn't help but laugh with him. "What?" He said incredulously, but Gavin just shook his head, still laughing. "What?!"

"I just—" A few more chuckles. "We just kissed, B, and that's all you have to say about it? Bloody 'bugger me?'"

"I— Right, right, I've never kissed a bloke before, alright?"

"Neither have I, but I'm not—" Gavin started laughing again.

"I'm allowed to be a little surprised by it, ok?!"

"In a good way or bad way?"

Dan ran his thumb over Gavin's hip where his arm still rested as he thought. "Good," he finally said. "In a very good way."

"Good," Gavin said, then snorted again. "'Bugger me,' I cannot believe that's the first thing you say—"

"Shut up."

Gavin put his hands on the wall, boxing Dan in as he leaned in and pressed their foreheads together again with a playful grin. "Make me."

Dan pulled Gavin back down by the back of his head and did just that.

"Hey," Dan muttered when he pulled back minutes later.

"Hey."

"I'll miss you, you know that?" Dan took his good hand and started running it gently through Gavin's hair. Gavin sighed, then nodded.

"Yeah. I'll miss you, too."

"I know."

"You promise you'll stay safe, right?"

"As much as I can be." 

Gavin nodded, and he moved one of his hands to Dan's still rested on his hip. He brushed over the injured finger, and Dan stilled. Gavin the pain of their soul bond thrum between them. He tugged at it, not enough for the pain to snap and dissipate but just enough to turn the tides for a second, just enough to give Dan some form of relief. 

It burned. Gavin was about to bite his own tongue with how hard he was wincing, but the way Dan relaxed beneath him made it all worth it. 

He let go, and the pain shifted back to equilibrium. Dan shifted, moving Gavin in his arms until they were sitting chest to back, Gavin in Dan's lap. "Here," Dan said, taking his arms in his hands and pulling him closer. Gavin suppressed a shiver at the Dan's soothing voice in his ear. "Let me show you something."

He reached over and pinched his own left arm. "Ow," Gavin chuckled softly. 

"Yeah, yeah, quit your crying. Now pinch yours." Dan was already nudging Gav's left arm.

"Why?"

"Just do it, B."

Gavin shook his head and pinched his own right arm. He saw the moment the pain hit Dan, as Dan's hand twitched ever so slightly.

"Whenever we're apart," Dan said, "And we're worried about each other and all that, pinch your arm. Or I'll pinch mine, whichever. And then the other can pinch back, and we'll know we're both alright."

Gavin snorted. "That is the cheesiest thing I've ever heard, B."

"You know, admittedly… yes it is, but." Dan shrugged. "We're soulmates, we're allowed to be cheesy every once in a while, I think."

The true gravity of their relationship hit Gavin for what felt like the first time in that moment. They were soulmates. And for the first time, that thought didn't sit heavy in Gavin's gut like a stone. For the first time, that thought… excited him. 

He turned his head to look back at Dan. "Yeah," he said. "We are, aren't we?"

He wanted this. Hell, he needed this, he needed Dan like he needed air and food and water and life and and and

And he kissed him, awkwardly, on the cheek. Dan turned to him and smiled. Gavin pinched himself, and Dan pinched himself back, and when they kissed again, they were both grinning.

God, they were so bloody cheesy.

On the airplane back to America, about an hour into the trip, Gavin looked down at his arm for a few minutes before finally giving in and pinching it. It was late by now in England, though; his plane followed the sunset. Maybe Dan was asleep by now, or caught up with something, or had forgotten—

A couple seconds later, Dan pinched back on the opposite wrist.

I'm here, the pain said. We're still together. We're alright.

Can't wait to be this cheesy when I see him in person again, Gavin thought, and smiled, a sense of calm washing gently over him. He sat back and let it tide him over to a new day.