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Izzy knows he can take a lot. He can take so much, in fact, that he’s pretty sure there’s nothing he cannot take.
A slap in the face ? Yep. A punch in the gut ? Alright. A bite, a scratch, a stab ? Done it. The lack of sleep for days, being thirsty, being famished ? Been there a couple of times.
Eating his own toe by the hand of his captain ? Well, it is new, but he passed the test.
That’s why he can’t imagine something he’ll not be able to take.
And yet.
Yet.
There is something, isn’t it ?
There’s always something to prove him wrong. Because he can’t just have it all, right ? Even for once in his life.
He took everything. He would have taken more if asked. He would have taken the world, the fucking universe even, because it is how he is. It is why he is such a good first mate. A good dog. He would have taken everything Edward asked him. And more. Always more.
So why ? Why can’t he take the look in his eyes, in Edward’s eyes, his captains’ eyes, Blackbeard’s eyes, when Bonnet comes back ?
Why can’t he accept that he has lost him for good ? That the fire around them went out a long time ago and that it was only shadows who trapped him, believing everything would get better soon when, obviously, the ground beneath his feet was falling apart ?
Izzy can take a lot. But he cannot take this .
He cannot and it breaks him. Because everything he took in the past has led to nothing. Everything he took and everything he would have kept taking doesn’t mean anything now.
And, the worst thing is, if given the chance, Izzy would do it again. Even if it means not being able to take that look. Even if it means losing him. He would do it again. Every time. Just to be the one to take it all in the name of Blackbeard.