Work Text:
Tuesday, 17th November 2020.
It was raining furiously, and it looked like the sky made all its rivers pour their water in our city. I got out of the studio, just to breathe some air, even though the air is full of humidity. I cursed twice as I have difficulties in opening my umbrella, due to the wind. I was already soaking wet, and this got on my nerves. I was almost ready to curse again, until an umbrella flew right in front of my feet, rolling down the street where the cars were about to rush, when the traffic light would turn green. I rush to "save" the umbrella and get back to the walking side, before the traffic lights change colour. The umbrella was plain, with a dark grey colour, but the smell was very attractive. I hold it in my hand, not even trying to close it. I was wondering, who was the owner of this umbrella that seemed so beautiful even though its plain appearance.
- Um... excuse me, sir! Can I have my umbrella back?
I realized that someone was talking to me. I turn my head to the right, letting my eyes meet with the polite talker. What a view! A breathtaking creature in human form, was trying to talk to me, even though the rain drops were harsh to his face and eyes. His black hair was half wet and half dry, but shiny, very shiny. The pleading eyes, trying to avoid the water were narrowed, but I could sense the pure honesty on them.
- Um... Sir?
- Oh.. this... yeah. Is this yours?
- Yes. Thank you for catching and saving it from the car wheels.
- No... no problem at all.
- So... may I?
Oh my god! What an embarrassment! I was so amazed by that sincere face, that I forgot to give him back the umbrella.
- Sorry! I was just... *sighs deeply*. Have we met before?
- Met? I don't think so. But ... I am a ...
- Hey Hyunjin! Hurry up!
- Ok, ok. I am coming!
A boy with black mask called him. Actually he wasn't alone. Under the shelter of a restaurant there were three boys, all with black Anti-Covid masks, and dressed in hoodies.
- Sorry, I need to go to the boys.
- Hwang Hyunjin, right?
Instinctively, I grabbed the boy's arm, refusing to let him join the others.
- Sorry?
My eyes were opened wide to see his.I was very sure who he was.
- You are the Kpop idol of Stray Kids boy band: Hwang Hyunjin.
He couldn't suppress the feeling and started to smile and released his voice to laugh. For heaven's sake! His laughing voice! No, it couldn't compare to anything else! The shining almost closed eyes, releasing the sparkles of the laugh, they caught me in a trap. I just couldn't get enough of that scenery. I remained astonished and open-mouthed for a while, but then, suddenly, his smile pierced my soul and made me laugh as well.
- Why ... why are you laughing?
- The way that you said that "You are the Kpop idol of Stray Kids boy band" it was very ...
His lips stretched to say something, but no sound came out. I was waiting for the continuation of the phrase, but his eyes, fixed over a distant object on the road, just began to think millions of things, so that his mind just decided to make his mouth say nothing more.
- Did I sound rude?
- No, no, no.
There he goes again with that sincere smile. It warmed my cold heart. I just couldn't resist it this time. I approach him with a hug and try to position the umbrella over us.
- It's too cold out here, and you will get wet, if you don't use this umbrella correctly.
In the middle of the cold, I could see his cheeks blushing, as his warm breath formed a small cloud in the air. His dark bangs loosely moving by the spontaneous wind. He was so close to me, so beautifully in my right arm, under the same umbrella as me...
- Oh sorry! I was...
- No problem. So... You should be the one I am thinking of... right?
- And.. Who are you thinking of?
- Lee Minhyuk of BTOB, right?
- Haaah, yes indeed, it's me.
I stretch my left hand to greet and meet with his.
- It's a pleasure to meet you. May we sit over there?
- Oh, sure!
I eyed a place at the outside of cafeteria, which was under a large black umbrella. We sat there, as the waiter came to take our orders, starting by him.
- Iced Americano.
- Mmm, tha's fine, but I suggest you to try chocolate frappe . This place has unique chocolate.
- Really?
- Yes. I have tried it once and I remained amazed by the light yet fragrant taste.
- Ok then. I'll follow your suggestion.
- Alright. Two chocolate frappe, please.
The waiter went inside to prepare our orders, while he turned his face, full of smile, to see the trees nearby.
- Very nice here! Do you come here often?
- Well, I used to, but after I got back from military service...
- Oh! Yes I remember now! You were the one who went last year, right?
- Yeah. I got discharged this September.... Yeah.
- Mmm.. you don't look very happy, do you?
- *sighs deeply* Yeah, I have changed a bit during the military service. You know, things are not the same for me. I ... I feel different.
- Did you have a hard time there?
- Not quite. You see... I was already changed a bit, before the military service, and I had noticed that. All the other members had noticed that as well. But, the military service, just made me stronger and more courageous, I think.
- So... does this mean that you have changed in a good way?
Oh my god, the way his voice echoes inside of my ears! He looks like he is singing even now that he is just having a talk!
- Ye-e-s, but not quite. I mean... I feel like I am colder now. I see the world somehow darker than before. If before it was a bit difficult to make me happy, now it seems like nothing makes happy... Until today.
The waiter came closer to us, holding two glasses filled with the ordered drinks. I looked at the other side, narrowing my eyes due to the strong wind that was blowing... or maybe because I felt embarrassed for talking a bit too much. I was counting-down until he would tell me "Ok, can we change subject now?". Look at him: he is sipping the drink from the glass.
- So... you wish you wouldn't change?
I was surprised. He continued to talk about my issues, and seemed very interested in it.
- I have ... I feel like I have the need to be more assertive for my dreams and goals. Maybe not as Lee Minhyuk of BTOB, but as Huta alone.
- Aha! I got it! Now you have found the real courage and the true self of Lee Minhyuk and so you want to shout it out loud to all the world and show them who you are. Right?
He can bring warmth to me, he can read my mind, and he can can make me smile every time I see that shiny smile on his face.
- Yes, exactly. Now I can feel even more ready to be even more a "star" in the kpop arena. I have no more doubts now. But, it's just that it feels lonely. I mean, being a star it makes me lonely, but... I do not like this kind of inability to feel happy again. It looks like... I have erased my ability to feel alive. I feel like the colours of the world are gone, and they will come back as soon as I achieve my goal.
- Uuu, that's a bit... you are being harsh with yourself, you know? I mean, I know that you are ambitious, and you do not like to stay behind anymore, but the road until you reach your goal, is a bit long and you may suffer a lot if you see only core of the story. You know, it's like a painting. You cannot make a picture with only on one dot. There are ton's of them, so you make lines, figures etc, so that you can form a big picture with lots of dots and lines. Career is only one dot of your life. You have family, friends, love life, hobbies, etc. You cannot close your eyes for the others, just to see the career. It's very miserable. And a very ugly picture though,
We both started to laugh and took a sip of the drink. ....
- Aaah, it seems like the rain has stopped. At least for now.
- Yeah, it seems so. Oh!
- What's wrong Hyunjin?
- Oh my god! I forgot that the boys are waiting me at the restaurant!
- Oh, yes. I forgot as well. Um.. waiter!
- I have to go because we have to turn back at the company for 30 minutes.
He started to take on his coat and walking away towards his group members.They called him again, and he answered them with sorrowful eyes. He sure loves them a lot and also takes a good care of them with his tender heart. I felt a envious of them.
- Hyunjin!
Again, my instinct worked faster than my mind. I felt fear that I could lose him and his gentle smile, so I rushed and grabbed his upper arm. He turned to face me. Silence for a moment. Oh my god, I lost again inside those honest eyes. Wait: what can I tell him? "I stop you to go to them?".
- Yes?
- Um... can we exchange the phone numbers? I mean, if you don't want, you can...
- Of course!
He smiles again and makes icy heart melt. His voice spelling the numbers, made my hands shake while I was holding the phone, but I successfully made only 3 mistakes on typing the numbers. Of course, the pretense was that my hands were frozen by the weather.
- I will not disturb you!
- Oh no, please! Feel free to write me whenever you want Minhyuk! Bye!
- Bye!
He waved his hand once and then rushed towards his group, without looking back at me. I followed him with my eyes until he got inside the car. A boy with longer hair than the others told him something and made Hyunjin smile. It was the smile that I too, had the pleasure to enjoy today. I envy that boy. He spoke in English to the others and I raise my head to see them. My eyes crossed with two of them. One, was a boy who even with jumper, looked more muscled than the others. The second, was a boy, who I met before, in a audition. Their gaze were sharp, as if they sensed the envy that I felt for them. They were the last ones to enter the car, and as soon as they were in, the car started off.
I returned my gaze to the window where was sat Hyunjin. Fortunately, his eyes met mine and with a big smile, he waved his hand to me. I felt joyous and instinctively, it activated in me the smile and I wave back at him, until the car left the square, and vanished from my sight.
At night, after I finished all of the recording, I went to the bedroom. I was angry for a certain reason, until... I grabbed the phone, and typed Hyunjin's name at the contact list. I touched the message icon.
"I said that I wouldn't disturb you, but it looks like I am bad at keeping promises. Hi! How are you?"
Sent.
On my god! I am crazy definitely! How can I message at someone at 1 AM, and when I talked at him just 30 minutes!
The phone released the sounds of a notification. He texted me back!
"Oh, Huta! You are not disturbing me at all.
I'm fine. You?"