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El is amazing, incredible! despite everything she’s been through she remains kindhearted. She’s literally superman who came to Michael Wheeler, a lucky boy who was able to date a girl with extraordinary powers. Yet he feels like something’s missing, something he’s desperate to have, he doesn’t feel the same spark he used to. He loves El, but as he grows older he can’t help but realize that he isn’t INLOVE with her. Sure he likes the way she smiles when he compliments her, how incredible she is, but it doesn’t compare to how he feels towards her brother.
Will Byers, ironic isn’t it? He can’t love a boy, it’s wrong! or, that’s what he thought. The community doesn’t accept people like him, especially in Hawkins. “It’s just a phase” “It’s wrong, a girl should date a boy and a boy should date a girl! nothing else!” “oh, so you’re a queer?”
But what can he do? He can’t just stop these feelings, but the fear of coming out, confessing his love. What if Will thinks he’s weird? Even worst is if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, out of all the things that’s the last thing he wants to happen.
But will that really happen? It’s Will Byers we’re talking about here, Will fucking Byers, the nicest person Mike knew. The way he’d always forgive him after their fights, when he’d go to Will for help and he wouldn’t mind, how he acts nice even to those who have hurt him. Oh no, here he goes again, rambling about the reasons why he loves him. There’s really no way of stopping these feelings, I mean, he knew all along, he just never wanted to accept it. He always knew. How he was full of Joy after Will wanted to be friends with him, he even ran to his mother to tell her the whole story. How Will looks enchanting to Mike in any way, whether he’s crying, or laughing, hell, Mike even thinks he’s pretty while sleeping.
He feels awful, using El to hide his feelings, using her for him to become normal. Nothing in his life is going right, every time he gets Will off his mind he just comes back again like a never ending reminder of how he’s never going to be with him.
After finally getting the courage, he walks into Nancy’s room and there he sees her on her bed while reading a book. Because of how nervous he is, he ended up opening the door quite loud, which of course sounded like a bomb to Nancy.
“What the Hell Mike! Can’t you see I’m trying to read a book here?” Nancy says
Mike’s just staring at her, all these thoughts rushing in his mind, whether it’s good or bad, he doesn’t even know. “What if she tells mom and dad?” “She’s your older sister, she’ll understand” “She’ll hate me for the rest of her life!” “She’s going to be abhorred” until Nancy suddenly talks again
“Mike? are you alright? You’re just standing there staring at me like you’ve seen a ghost”
“Ok Mike, you can do this, she won’t hate you, I hope” That’s what he says to himself
He sits himself on the edge of Nancy’s bed and just by that Nancy notices that something’s wrong. The way Mike seems to be lost in thought is making her anxious. Mike always keeps to himself and Nancy would always want to remind him that he could talk to her, they might not be as close for siblings but that doesn’t mean they don’t care for each other.
“Hey, is something wrong? you know you can tell me right?” She softens her tone to make sure he’ll be comfortable enough to tell her what’s in his mind.
“Ok, I know you and I aren’t that close, and I know there’s a really great possibility that you might hate me after this but here I go. I hate this! I hate how he makes me feel, how I simply just look at him yet feel butterflies in my stomach, how I’m desperate to put his lips on mine, its all just so confusing! Why isn’t life fair? Why couldn’t I just stay and still be in love with El? Why do I have these feelings for him? And not only am I going to end up hurting El, I’m pushing Him away and it makes me feel even more guilty!” He slurred between his words because of how much he was crying, Nancy has never seen her brother look like this, they’ve fought monsters from a different dimension before, they lost people along the way, but she has never seen Mike cry this much.
“Mike, look at me” she repositions her brother’s face so he could face her, “Believe me when I say this, I could never hate you even if I am annoyed by you sometimes you’re still my brother. Even if you are, well, gay, this doesn’t change the fact that you are you. This may seem hard but I understand, I’ve been in the same situation before alright? You need to tell this to El because the longer you avoid your true feelings the more it will hurt for both of you, do you understand?” With this Mike nods, he can’t speak, he’s literally crying his eyes out. “Now, tell me, who is he?”
Mike hesitates, “Will..” he whispers
“What? I didn’t hear you”
“Will! Will fucking Byers!” Nancy was surprised, but is she really? The 2 boys have always been close to each other, Mike was always protective of him, she should be expecting this
“Then what are you waiting for? Tell him!” Nancy says, while smiling trying to encourage her brother
“What if he ends up hating me?” Mike didn’t even want to think about it but it’s the only possible outcome he can think of
“We’re talking about Will here, he would never hate you ok? and if he does then he’s going to be missing a lot,” Nancy says, receiving an eye roll and a little laugh, “listen to me, go talk with El first and then I want you to tell Will everything alright?” He nods, wiping the remaining tears on his face
He talked with El and it went shockingly well, he followed what Nancy said.. did he? He was still friends with El after ending things with her, but why is it that he still feels empty?
He was right here, hanging out with the others, shouldn’t he be having fun? they barely spend time with each other and now they’re all here enjoying each other’s company. But how could he be happy? when he’s right here sitting on top of the grass while El comforts him, watching as Will kisses someone, someone who isn’t him. He was too late.