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Mi-ae was ticked off.
No, even more than that, she was enraged. She could feel the steam fuming out of her ears and marched her way out of her apartment and in front of the window of that boy.
She brought erasers with her and tore it apart with a vigor she never had before. She threw big pieces at his window, making sure it'd make the loudest noise.
Recently, they have been getting closer and not only in the platonic sense. The both of them knew something was there, but every time the mention of something more happening was acknowledged, they brushed off the thought.
Mi-ae is someone who wants to confess her feelings proudly, grand gestures along with beautiful bouquets because she was just that extra. Put it on a plate and serve it to him with the proper utensils to pick it apart, let him look over the options, because she didn't want to pressure him into anything.
But he went ahead and tried something with another girl? Yonghui at that, they barely spoke!
After ten throws, the window opened up to reveal the tall boy rubbing his eyes and her next eraser bit landed right on his forehead. She heard a distant exclamation of pain but paid no mind.
Maybe a little, she hoped she hadn't hurt him.
But he hurt her — so maybe his five seconds of pain was deserved.
Hopefully he got a taste of what she had felt.
Cheol stuck his head out of the window with a scowl. His heart skipped a beat when he recognized who it was, but his face went back to its usual glare after a few seconds. "Mi-ae, it's like an hour from midnight. What the hell are you doing?"
He expected her to apologize profusely, as it didn't seem like she intended to hit a bullseye. However she only glared with a hurt expression and the line between his eyebrows disappeared.
She wasn't her usual self right now.
"Come down right now, I don't care if your mom set a bedtime for you. I need to say something to you, Kim Cheol."
She said his full name and he didn't know whether to feel respected or feel like he was going to get a beating.
"You think I'm going to come down after you saying that?"
"I can go back home and we can ignore this issue until the next time it comes and blows up in your face. So are you going to come down or not?"
Cheol felt somewhat…threatened. It was strange, being told off by someone who was more than a foot beneath his height. But to be honest, it had become a common thing after she entered his life again.
He succumbed. "Fine, give me a minute."
Mi-ae was surprised that he came down in under a minute.
He raced down the stairs at the front of his apartment and ran to her. A small part of her burst with joy seeing him come to her in a hurry, but now that he was in front of her, she felt angry.
Betrayed.
But most of all, confused.
"I hate you."
She saw red.
"I…” she strained out, holding back the urge to shout. “...hate you… so much.”
"Mi-ae—"
" Hwang ," she emphasized coldly. " Hwang Mi-ae."
His eyebrows shot up in shock. "What is up with you?"
"Me? Me?"
She approached Cheol with a furious pace, poking a finger into his chest. "What is up with you? Do you just pity me or what?"
"...What? I don't even know what you're talking about! Is this what you called me down for?"
Mi-ae pressed her finger harder into him. "You throw these hints all around but whenever I bring them up, you chicken out. So you're just probably too nice or scared to let me down. But now I hear you went on a—"
She threw her hands up. "On a date!"
Cheol grabbed her hands in the air, pulling them down to interlock with his own. A pinkish color tinted her cheeks, clearly caught off guard by the gesture. "First of all, lower your voice. My family doesn't know I'm out here."
She didn't want to say 'okay!' in her usual cheery voice so she reluctantly nodded. He sucked air through his teeth and then he sighed.
"Okay…who did I supposedly go on a date with?"
She grumbled, averting eye contact. "...Yonghui. I heard all about it from Honggyu."
He was so going to get Honggyu after this.
"Yeah because Honggyu is such a reliable source, right?"
Her eyes sank to the floor. "But he's your friend…"
"A friend that doesn't know any better. Let's sit down somewhere, okay?" He tilted his face a little lower to meet her eyes.
Cheol's eyes asked for a chance to explain things as his hands enveloped hers, giving a warmth she never wanted to let go of. She wanted to say no so bad, but not when he looked at her like that.
And who was she to reject those eyes of his?
She sighed and pulled him along with her. "Come on, there's a bench over here."
"I do admit, my outburst was a bit…childish."
"A bit?"
"Okay, a lot! Anyways, are you a hundred percent sure of what you're telling me?"
They were seated a bit further away from where they lived so that their voices wouldn't reach the ears of their respective families.
"Yes. Yonghui was just asking me for advice to talk to Sora because apparently I'm…" He scrunched his nose up. "...cold like her."
Mi-ae snorted. "She got that right."
She lowered her eyebrows and lifted her bangs with her hand for comedic effect.
"Hi, I'm Kim Cheol," she started in a gruff voice and Cheol choked in surprise.
What–
"I do not like speaking. That's right, I'll give the nasty side eye to anyone who dares interrupt my lunchtime. My precious food-eating hour. How dare you. I'll also create the biggest misunders–"
"Enough," he coughed out, trying to hold back a chortle. "But do you understand now?"
Mi-ae just stared at him and looked away, giving a small nod.
He frowned. "You can let down your hair now."
"I…right." She responded as she rested her elevated hand down on her lap.
Cheol's hand awkwardly caressed the bench they sat on. They were stuck in this unbearable silence. The crickets chirped and the night's breeze made both of them shiver in unison.
He tapped his fingers in a rhythmic motion on the bench. "So…saying that you hated me was a strong start to…our conversation."
"Uh t-that," she stumbled over her words. "That was my bad. I just. W-Wouldn't you think the same if…if…uh— jeez…!"
" If?"
"If you felt led on, for crying out loud!"
"Well, okay. I wasn't. Leading you on, that is. Happy?"
Her eyes bulged at him.
"Incredibly. Can't you see how much my fist wants to kiss your face?"
"Can't you see how much I'm holding back–" Cheol was going to regret saying this, he had already felt the warmth crawling up the back of his neck. "–from kissing yours?"
Mi-ae gawked at him. "You have to be a player! How can you be so smooth!?"
His face flushed at the compliment. "No I'm just– saying what's honestly on my mind." He exhaled. "I've tried dropping hints for who knows how long now, it's embarrassing."
"Embarrassing how long you've been dropping hints or embarrassing how I haven't done anything about it?"
His voice went up an octave. "Both?"
"Well, then do it."
"Do what?"
"What you told me that you wanted to do," she slowly said, hoping he would get the memo. Maybe they were moving a bit too fast now, but she couldn't wait anymore.
"What?"
"Oh, you have got to be messing with me."
"Now why would I be messing with you–"
She grabbed his collar and pulled him down so swiftly that he didn't even get to blink. He prepared himself for some sort of impact (specifically on his face), but he just found his face inches away from hers.
Cheol took in a shaky breath and–
Mi-ae had the faint smell of apples.
Her voice dropped to a whisper, like she was about to tell him a secret nobody else was allowed to know.
"Can I?"
Something about seeing her so serious made him…well…
"Can you what?"
She scoffed. "You sure are playful today, Cheol."
Her gaze flicked down at his lips and back up at his eyes. Butterflies swarmed his insides.
"Cheol-ah."
"What?"
"If you don't move in three seconds, I'm going to kiss you."
He stilled. Was this really going to happen?
She shook him a bit. "Alright? You got that?"
"...Okay."
He really did say that without a second thought.
He didn't think things through around her, and because of her, he's been more impulsive lately. Speaking up for himself more, doing things that five months ago he would've never thought of doing.
She started her countdown and he beamed at the fact that it was so like her. She shifted her position to face her body towards him more properly. "One…"
Mi-ae felt a hand rest on her knee and her confidence wavered. "T-Two…"
Cheol looked like he was just waiting patiently for her, the sweet boy he was. The rascal he was. She really couldn't take it anymore.
"Oh my god, screw this–"
She flew up to meet him and he dived down to join her.
They hit too hard.
"ACK!" they synchronized.
Cheol covered his mouth for his protection. "Do you have a brick as lips?" he muffled.
"Do you have metal as your face?" she spat back.
They glared at each other.
Nothing really had changed but the fondness they held for each other. Mi-ae couldn't help but giggle, while a soft smile only reserved for her replaced the glare on Cheol's features.
He didn't know where all this courage was coming from lately, but his hand shakily met her cheek and held it. He struggled to find the right words, his mouth opening and closing.
"Let's try again?" she said, raising an eyebrow. "Is that what you're trying to say?"
He nodded, biting the inside of his cheek.
"Well–"
She grabbed his face, squishing his cheeks together and drew her lips together in a pucker. Her face looked so strained it was hilarious. He made a noise in shock.
"Pucker up, lover boy!"
When they kissed, Cheol couldn't help but laugh into it. Her face looked ridiculous with that expression. His ribs hurt from how hard he laughed and it was so contagious that she started to snicker into the kiss (could they even call it that?) too.
His breath fanned over her lips when they departed. "God, there is nothing normal about you. Is there, Mi-ae?"
She wiggled her eyebrows. " Mi-ae? First name basis? Are we already on stage three of our relationship? I didn't know we could skip so many steps, oh my–"
He pinched her cheek. "I've already called you by your first name, you twerp. Why do I even like you?"
"Ow, ow, ow, ow! Cut it out! Time out, time out!" She said in a panic and tapped his hand furiously.
He let go of the grip on her cheek (he really didn't have to pinch her so hard) but his hand cupped her cheeks so gently, like he was touching glass. Like he didn't have a wrestling match with her face a few seconds ago.
Hypocrite.
"You better properly kiss me before we part ways or else I'll give your shoe the best one it's ever had."
"You've kissed my shoe before?"
"No! J-Just do it!" She was avoiding the subject.
"Did you practice on my shoe? My shoe?"
"I hope lightning strikes you right now and turns you into ash."
He chooses to ignore the comment. "Did you want to kiss me that bad?"
Her word vomit took a halt there, red filling up her face like a thermometer.
"No," she squeaked.
"Oh?"
Maybe she was going to knock him out, she already knew that his recent games were about to start. She would say playfulness was not a good look on him, but she wasn't complaining when he flirted with her at least once everytime they saw each other.
Every time they've crossed paths, its happened.
She was always left a mess, each time imprinted into her mind.
One time where she was tutoring him, showing him how to get the right answer. He leaned so close that she felt him speak right next to her ear, and for the rest of the session she stumbled over her words. He even grazed his hand against hers every now and then when they would pass the only pencil in the vicinity.
The other time where they were sitting outside of the cram school after being let out early. They were eating snacks and talking about airplanes, until he pointed out the mess she made. And he dusted the crumbs off the side of her mouth, taking his sweet time to make sure every individual crumb was gone.
He knew what he was doing, because as soon as he saw her turn red, his mouth raised into a smirk.
Mi-ae still remembers the other day where he smiled at her without a word when they passed each other in the halls. They were with their own friend groups, but just that look had her on the floor.
Her friends teased her about the new color she sported on her cheeks and how fast she hid her embarrassment. Even when he uttered nothing important, she couldn't get him out of her mind until the next time she saw him.
The side of his mouth slightly curled up. "So you don't want to kiss right now?"
"No, I do!"
"So you want to kiss me a mediocre amount or what?"
Dragging her hands down her face, she groaned. "Not this again."
"Hey," he grasped her wrists, making her heart skip. "I'm just kidding."
She pouted. "Are you sure?"
"Stop pouting first of all, you look weird–"
She rolled her eyes and whispered a quick "c'mere".
Mi-ae freed herself of his grip, and guided his hands to her face. Even though they kissed twice already (twice!), they were both still unbelievably flushed with red.
This kiss felt like it was going to be a little less comedic, a little less playful, and a little more serious.
"...Cheol-ah?"
He completely forgot that he could speak, lost in the dazed silence they were in. He didn't even have the words to describe it – no – words never could describe the feeling he had whenever he looked at her. Words weren't enough.
She knew he was in deep thought and smiled. "You know I don't just like you, right? My heart feels like it's about to burst out of me because of you." She examined him carefully, looking back and forth at his eyes.
He didn't know her voice could get even quieter, but it did.
"Like, my heart is running away from me and I'm just…trying to grab it before it catches up to you."
Okay, maybe not his but her words could describe it. In a weird way but nonetheless, it was described.
"Like I'm trying to catch it before it stabs you or something, I don't know—"
"Shut up," he snickered, the image of her screaming at a tiny thing to not chase him, forever stuck in his mind.
His lips brushed against hers and her breath hitched.
And wordlessly they connected themselves, no laughter in this kiss.
Only a smile the other felt everytime they shifted a bit. A smile that perhaps said "I would give you everything" or "I would love to wake up to this one day" or something a bit more personal.
Something maybe like "I'm always my best around you but I'll still let you see my worst."
Cheol tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, silently cursing it when it almost got between their mouths because of the wind. Mi-ae almost laughed again.
He felt her breath under his nose, tickling it, and he could get used to this for a very long time.
Mi-ae fumbled with the front of his jacket, trying to have something to keep her mind from floating away. The sound of his breathing almost blocked out the words he uttered. It almost slipped by her ears, but thankfully she caught it.
Between one of the little breaks in their kiss, she heard him mumble a "I’m in love” then a “with you".
It was no longer a silent proclamation spoken only through their kiss.
If he said it, it was genuine and it was true.
And her heart soared.
"I am too," she mumbled back into his lips and he took in a sharp intake of breath in surprise.
She seized his collar and tried to tug him closer. Hug him closer. Feel him closer.
She thought if they got any closer, maybe their bones would fuse together and they'd mend into something beautiful.
They would understand each other so much that one would breathe and the other would just know .
She was the first to break away, properly taking in air to steady herself.
But they weren't at that stage yet, one where they'd mend and there would never be another misunderstanding again. Because that'd be too perfect, and a misunderstanding would always be bound to happen again.
They were meant to be messily in love, to be hurt by their love, but also to feel the air sucked out of their lungs because of that same love, and to feel a bit warmer because of the fire it set in their hearts. And it would leak into their veins and spread throughout their body, keeping them warm at night.
Cheol rested his head on her shoulder with a comfortable sigh. He was a bit worn out.
After all, it was close to midnight now and he had only come out of his slumber for her.
Mi-ae still tried to regain her energy after that. She thought that her lungs wouldn't give out so quickly because of how much she runs around but, boy, was she wrong.
It was him after all, everything was different around him.
He tilted his head on her shoulder and murmured in her ear. "You make me sleepy, you know what that means?"
She raised a hand and set it on his head, running her fingers through his hair. "I think it's because you're supposed to actually be sleeping right now, but do tell."
He laughed lightly before speaking again. "I'm comfortable around you now. Too comfortable. What am I going to do without you?"
Now this was something she couldn't answer.
"Surely you have other forms of comfort, right?"
His finger lazily drew stars on her back.
"Not like you though."
She winced when she heard his voice drop in enthusiasm. It was filled with a sense of regret.
"...Not like you."
She pushed him back. "Cheol?"
"Ugh, damn." He shook his head, emotions getting the best of him. "How are you doing this to me?"
His eyebrows were drawn together, with him trying to suppress any emotion other than happiness. He was supposed to be happy because of what had just transpired.
Unlike Mi-ae, she took a minute to think about what to say, and treaded lightly with her words. "Cheol, you know if we do this, not everything will be sunshine and rainbows, right?"
And something cracked in him.
"I know," he choked out.
"You might move soon after all."
"Yeah."
"I also can’t be your only comfort, that's going to put pressure on the both of us."
He nodded. "You're right…"
She continued. "And sometimes things will be said or done by one of us that will hurt?"
He brought the base of his palm to his eye, feeling it itch. "How do you know that?"
"Because it's already happened. Cheol, despite that…are you sure we can be together?"
His movements came to a halt. Could they? Would it really be a good idea?
Mi-ae looked nervous to receive an answer, and he was scared to give one. There was uncertainty of the future, that was for sure.
But he didn't feel like it was enough to give up something he wanted for so long.
"We could try. I want to try…do you?"
She sniffed and let out a small laugh. "Definitely."
"If it's you, I want to give it my best. I can't promise you happiness, Mi-ae. But I can promise you this."
"What?"
He pointed at the right side of his chest. "That my heart belongs to you."
She blinked.
"...It's on your left."
Cheol's ears went red and he corrected where his finger pointed. "My h-hea— Oh my god, screw you, I—"
He buried his face in his hands and groaned, while she laughed and shook him by his shoulders. "We can't go even five minutes being serious, hell!'
After a couple of seconds of them bickering, they settled down and Mi-ae intertwined a hand with his. His stomach did a flip at the simple thing.
"Your hand is still the same, it covers mine completely…" she whispered and pride took over his brain for the slightest second.
"I mean…"
At a leisurely pace he brought their entwined hands to his mouth, giving her knuckles the lightest peck.
"I like it, it makes me feel like I can…"
Protect you.
He almost said. He only hummed the words into the skin of her hand.
Her eyes gleamed like the stars.
"Kiss me again."
"It's late. We should have gone home a long while ago."
Mi-ae pondered in thought. "Then kiss me goodbye."
"You have a way of twisting your words to your benefit," he joked, bringing her arm around his neck.
"Shut up!" she giggled as she let her other arm also wrap around his neck. He rested his forehead against hers and they went into a comfortable silence.
They felt at peace, the warmth of each other making them sleepy but Mi-ae still had one more question.
"Are we dating?"
He peeled his eyes open again. "Okay."
"Pfft what? Say yes or no!"
Cheol leaned forward to give her a kiss that lasted about five seconds and her face blew up in color. Her braveness definitely dimmed down, she felt shy.
"We are together…okay?"
Mi-ae pressed her lips together and the sides of her mouth tugged up, creating one of the most joyful expressions she’s ever shown him.
"One more time."
"Okay, last time! You're tired and so am I."
She grinned ear to ear. "But you'll never get tired of this, right?"
The stars shone bright that chilly night, the air no longer affecting them. Maybe it was a sign that as long as they had each other, the breeze could never make them cold again.
Perhaps their bones didn't mend, but something told Mi-ae that all she had to do was look into his eyes. If she searched between them, some feeling of understanding would fill the both of them.
If that wasn't enough, all they had to do was talk like they just did.
Funny how easy it was, considering their stubborn personalities. Even so, it worked.
They worked.
"Never could be."
For the last time that night he leaned in.
The wind from the airplane above didn't even faze them.