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Swiper gets Swiped

Summary:

Being a hybrid came with a certain likelihood for certain instincts. They didn’t have to be acted on of course and some people found their instincts more or less compelling than others, but all the same they existed.

And Xie Lian cannot for the life of him stop stealing Hua Cheng’s everything.

(Can be read independently from other oneshots in the series)

Notes:

Thank you for your comment hwuaxie, you didn’t respond about tropes in time so I just picked one of my backlog at random as I crawled out of my hiding hole. Sorry for going radio silent for 3 days on an unexpected hiatus, my spoons were in the negatives.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Being a hybrid came with a certain likelihood for certain instincts. They didn’t have to be acted on of course and some people found their instincts more or less compelling than others, but all the same they existed.

Hua Cheng had heard that fellow fox hybrids often had instincts that compelled them to scream— loud and shrill and absolutely unearthly— as a way to express joy.

Whether because he’d been discouraged from it in his youth or because his genetics just hadn’t given him that particular impulse, Hua Cheng wasn’t especially inclined towards that particular instinct. Much more compelling was his need to play-wrestle, and, he’d discovered since being allowed, his desire to nuzzle his beloved.

Of course, just because you had the instinct didn’t mean you had to act on it and even if you did it didn’t mean you found it logical or enjoyable dealing with the aftermath.

This was the circumstance for what Hua Cheng thought was Xie Lian’s cutest instinct.

Stashing.

Just as fox hybrids were known for being loud, ferret hybrids were known for being incorrigible hoarders.

Unlike squirrel hybrids who were known to hide their things in various “very safe” locations and forget them later or magpie hybrids who were known to display every single item they hoarded, ferret hybrid instincts tended towards hiding the things they collected.

When they first met, Hua Cheng saw no indication that Xie Lian had such a habit. His home was small, well kept, and sparsely decorated. His bed had been on the floor. He had had no chairs or couch. There was nowhere to have a stash even if he’d wanted one.

And then they’d moved in together.

And then Hua Cheng’s things had started going missing. It had taken him all of two days to realize why and he didn’t mind it in the least. If Xie Lian wanted to stash things, he could.

Hua Cheng knew where to check first when he ‘lost’ things after all.

***

Xie Lian caught sight of Hua Cheng’s dirty laundry in the living space, packed up for laundry day.

And if he’d thought things through, he would’ve left it alone. Would’ve gone and grabbed his own laundry and said he was ready to go together. Would’ve done anything besides what he actually did.

Which was grab the first article of clothing he saw as he walked to his room and promptly throw it under his bed.

The thing was, Xie Lian truly wasn’t used to stashing instincts. He’d had a habit when he was younger of keeping all his favorite things in a chest at the end of his bed, but that was it really. He had always assumed that, for the most part, he had skipped out on that instinct.

To be proven wrong well into his thirties was frankly embarrassing.

Especially because he never seemed to realize in the moment he was doing it!

It took until Xie Lian was back in his room that night, folding and putting away his own now clean laundry that he realized what he’d done.

Covering his face as if he could hide from his reality, he got down on his knees to look under his bed.

Sure enough. His stash was filling up again.

Letting out a sigh, Xie Lian fished out the objects.

The shirt he’d stolen from Hua Cheng that afternoon. A ring Hua Cheng had left on the table. A little flower keychain Hua Cheng had gotten him. One of Hua Cheng’s shoes. The framed picture of the two of them he must have taken down from his own wall. One of Hua Cheng’s belts. Xie Lian’s favorite book.

He was fairly sure he’d cleaned his stash out just five days ago. To find he’d already restashed so much… and that majority of it wasn’t even his own things! It was mortifying frankly. He was lucky Hua Cheng didn’t seem to notice.

Listening to make sure Hua Cheng was still in his own room, he carried back the stolen shoe to place it with its match by the door. He left the ring in the jewelry dish Hua Cheng kept in their bathroom.

Fortunately, although Hua Cheng’s house had always seemed fairly put together when Xie Lian visited before they’d moved in together, he seemed to have gotten in the habit of leaving his things out more and more the longer they lived together, so it didn’t look at all out of place when Xie Lian found places to throw the belt and shirt in their living room before neatly putting his own objects back in their proper places. They were bound to get thrown under his bed again in an absent minded haze later, but he really did like looking at them.

***

One small mercy Xie Lian had in his new stashing instinct was the fact that Hua Cheng never seemed to notice, after all, Xie Lian quickly realized and returned the objects not too long after stealing them, so Hua Cheng didn’t even have reason to miss them. It was harmless theft really, embarrassing as it may be.

So to find that mercy dashed at the realization Hua Cheng absolutely, definitely knew Xie Lian had been stealing his things was a lot to take in fresh out of the shower.

Because there was absolutely no other reason for Hua Cheng to be on his knees digging around under Xie Lian’s bed.

“San Lang?”

As if being caught doing something wrong, Hua Cheng looked up at him guiltily. “Gege. I thought you’d take a bit longer in the shower.”

Xie Lian glanced down at the necklace in Hua Cheng’s hand. It was, of course, Hua Cheng’s necklace.

“I’m sorry!”

“I’m sorry.”

They both stared at each other.

“San Lang, why are you apologizing?”

“I know I shouldn’t have touched gege’s stash. I understand if you’re upset.”

Xie Lian didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. What kind of logic was that? “San Lang, that’s your necklace. I’m the one who stole it.”

“It’s not stealing, I left it out so gege would take it. But when I started getting ready I thought it would really work well with my outfit so I…”

Xie Lian knelt down next to him, pulling out the ribbon Hua Cheng had worn the other day and another belt to hand over as he processed that. “You left it out on purpose so that I’d take it?”

Hua Cheng nodded. “You only take things left in common spaces. And you always give them back.”

Xie Lian toyed with the belt. “How long have you known?”

“Since about two weeks after we moved in together.”

Xie Lian covered his face in mortification. “Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Doesn’t gege always say I tease him too much? Are you complaining I didn’t tease you enough?”

Xie Lian huffed. “You shouldn’t encourage me.”

“Why not? It’s so cute when gege swipes things.”

He felt his blush grow. He was really too old for this sort of thing.

***

Though they had plenty of times winding up sharing a bed, it was only once they became a couple that their bed sharing became permanent and with it, a change to Xie Lian’s stashing habits.

He still couldn’t stop swiping anything Hua Cheng left out, and frankly it was only worse now that they shared a bedroom, but at the very least he’d stopped throwing things under their bed after Hua Cheng had gifted him a chest to make his new hoarding spot. Much easier to clean out when Xie Lian got his head on straight a few days into absentminded stashing.

Hua Cheng adored it.

He was absolutely certain Xie Lian didn’t notice it in the moment when he stashed, so Hua Cheng always tried to keep his face and voice as even as possible when he noticed it, absolutely delighting in the way Xie Lian’s tail would straighten and he’d get a little smile on his face, seeming a bit more content with the world.

So he was happy to let Xie Lian stash all his jewelry and his finished art projects and all sorts of little trinkets Hua Cheng had that apparently triggered something in Xie Lian’s brain to go mine and hide it away for safekeeping. The longer they dated, the further it seemed to go, Xie Lian taking things right off his body to stuff in the chest a handful of times always left Hua Cheng delighted and affectionate.

And now, seeing Xie Lian just a bit tipsy and much more willing to give into his stashing habits, Hua Cheng got to witness the cutest instinct yet.

Xie Lian’s hand kept coming up to rest on the back of Hua Cheng’s neck. It was after the third time Xie Lian gently squeezed only to let his hand flutter away that Hua Cheng nuzzled in to nose at his neck.

“Is gege trying to scruff me?”

Xie Lian laughed, nuzzling back. “I want to pick you up.”

Hua Cheng moved to settle on his lap, curling into him. “Gege knows I love when he picks me up.”

“Not when I try to stuff you in a chest though.”

Hua Cheng pulled back with a laugh, taking in the lovely flush that a few drinks had put on Xie Lian’s cheeks.

Xie Lian groaned, pulling him back in to nuzzle more. “I want to stash you.”

Hua Cheng hugged him close again. “Do you think I’ll fit?”

“Not at all. And even if you would, I’m not going to stash you.”

“What if gege just stashed me a little?”

“How do I stash something only a little?”

“Just put me in the chest until it calms down.”

Xie Lian shook his head. “It won’t help, it’ll just make everything feel wrong when you try to move. It’s fine, I don’t have to stash everything I want to.”

Hua Cheng kissed his cheek. “What makes something a good stashing spot?”

“Hidden. Small spaces. I don’t know, I’ve never really thought about it.”

“What if we just made a new stashing place for both of us?”

“New stashing place?”

“Like a fort.”

He could see the idea turn in Xie Lian’s head. See the way the grin spread and the feel the way his hands tightened moments before he was lifted off the couch.

“Do we still have my old bedframe?”

***

Being a hybrid came with a certain likelihood for certain instincts. They didn’t have to be acted on of course and some people found their instincts more or less compelling than others, but all the same they existed.

Some found their instincts comforting. Others found them annoying. But Hua Cheng found Xie Lian’s instincts incredibly delightful.

Which was why, as Xie Lian finished off their play tussle with a triumphant pin, Hua Cheng let himself go limp. And waited.

It was with a great rush of adrenaline that Xie Lian picked Hua Cheng up and carried him to his stash, or, as Hua Cheng liked to think of it privately, their den.

He didn’t help as Xie Lian dragged him in, he’d learned quickly that Xie Lian liked best when he could simply pull him in much more than when Hua Cheng crawled in himself. He only moved once they were inside, Xie Lian’s old mattress below them and a ridiculous amount of pillows strapped to the bottom of Xie Lian’s old bed frame to make them the narrowest littlest nest of comfort, dark and hidden away together.

“You got me.” He nuzzled up to Xie Lian happily.

“You let me win.”

“You say that every time you win lately.”

“Because San Lang keeps throwing our matches lately. I don’t have to win to drag you down here.”

“I know you don’t. Because I won that match.” Hua Cheng grinned.

“I pinned you.”

“Yet I have gege exactly where I want him. And I’m the one blocking the exit.”

Xie Lian laughed, nuzzling in to kiss him in the dark of their delightful little space.

So how could Hua Cheng not adore his beloved’s instincts?

Notes:

They are stupid and in love

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