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It was almost two months that the Chevalier was feeling more like himself. He hadn’t touched any substances, no powders or tinctures. Not even a glass of wine for two whole months. He was simultaneously feeling better and worse than he ever felt in his life.
It was Liselotte, who suggested that they take a break from Versailles and travel to Saint Germain to visit Phillippe’s children. It was a good excuse that worked easily as the child she was carrying would one day live there too. They left early in the morning of the next day.
“I think I might vomit.” The Chevalier broke the silence that hung heavy in the carriage. He was sitting on his preferred side, towards the direction the carriage was going.
Liselotte laughed. “Oh please don’t. There have been enough lost meals between the two of us already.” She moved onto his side and started gently rubbing his back. “We’ll be there in a few hours, and then you can actually start getting better.”
“Start? I thought I was already doing so well.” He almost sneered, but the Chevalier knew that as well as Liselotte that the only reason he was actually doing so well was that he didn’t have the energy to seek the newest ‘friend-of-a-friend’ that would supply him with the powders. The second time Phillippe has departed for war broke the Chevalier. However his slow descent into darkness had started before that. The two men celebrated their reunion after Chevalier returned from Italy, yet there was already a shift in their relationship. shift that caused an avalanche after Liselotte arrived. no matter how much Chevalier wanted to hate her and everything she represented, he quickly realized that she was smart and beautiful and very much a great match for his Phillippe. So he became bolder with his affections, staking his claim on the Monsignor, only to alienate him further.
And now, they were separated not only by society’s rules but extreme distance, one the Chevalier didn’t dare to count. Liselotte squeezed his hands, tearing him away from his thoughts.
“Phillippe.” She whispered. “Tell me about his girls. Tell me about Marie Louise and Anne Marie.”
The Chevalier de Lorraine looked at Liselotte. She rarely called him by his given name, afterall almost no one called him that. The silent prayer in her voice reminded the Chevalier of his Phillippe, his Mignonette not Philippe duc d’Orleans, brother to the king of France.
“I must admit I haven’t seen them in a while. I’m sure they have both changed a great deal.” He looked out of the carriage window and smiled to himself. “Anne Marie was just a baby when Henriette died. She was a very quiet child. One had to employ all his wit and personality to get her to laugh, but if you succeeded, the sound could light up a room. Just like her father. They both are actually. Marie Louise used to write letters to Phillippe when he left the first time. Or rather, he’d write her letters and her thoughts and reaction would be recorded by her governess and then sent back to him in response.”
Liselotte laughed.
“I think he still has those letters.” The Chevalier continued with fondness in his voice. “He cares so much, for everyone. I think that’s why I was so jealous of you, because I knew that once you got to know him, you’d fall in love with him. And he would try to be a good husband. He’d try to honour his marriage vows as long as you were honourable.” He finished, barely whispering. There were tears creeping into his voice and he was starting to shake slightly. Liselotte hugged him tighter and matched his silent tone.
“I may have fallen in love with him a little, but I have also been falling in love with you over these past months. You’re both amazing men, passionate and stubborn, both very inteligent but sometimes you can be so stupid. I could never take him away from you, nor do I want to.”
“Well, I know that now .” He laughed.
They chattered about lighter topics for the rest of the journey.