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The Warrior of Light had been quieter than usual since Thancred saw them emerge from their chambers in Ala Mhigo for breakfast. Not only did they mindlessly eat their entire jelly roll without giving half to Thancred, they let Urianger talk their ear off without a word, nodding when nodding wasn’t exactly the correct response. There was no doubt Urianger noticed, but Thancred supposed it was a good excuse for Urianger to think aloud without garnering any strange looks. The sight of it made him smile, but even so, a tinge of worry snagged at Thancred’s stomach.
He knew the Warrior was returning to their room every night to sleep, as Thancred always escorted them. A funny little habit they’d formed since the First, though Thancred wouldn’t let himself linger too long on the why. That said, he had no idea what went on behind closed doors. How much sleep the Warrior was truly receiving, if any.
After today, Thancred was confident the answer was not nearly godsdamned enough.
Later, as the Scions made their way from lunch to the meeting hall for yet another update on the Telophoroi and beast tribes, Thancred gently took the Warrior of Light by the elbow and urged them to slow their pace, that the two of them may bring up the tail end. The group was early anyway, so Thancred let the Scions disappear around a corner, and the Warrior’s silence, as opposed to their usual clamoring to be right up front with Alphinaud, only seemed to give credence to his suspicions.
The Warrior did, however, look down at their elbow, which Thancred still held.
And which Thancred quickly unheld.
“Might you sit this one out?” Thancred said.
A little energy burst in their eyes, their gait quickening for a few steps. “Nay, I should be there. I’ve never missed a meeting before, and I’m not looking to start now.”
Thancred hid a small smile. “Some rest may do you good. After all, meetings have never been your forte. What comes after the meetings, however…”
“I’m the Warrior of Light,” they said. “I can hardly be seen sleeping my days away. ‘Tis important I be there.”
The Warrior touched Thancred’s arm, a lingering thing, and offered a wide smile. “I welcome your concern, Thancred, but I promise I am fine. Could take down a primal with one hand tied behind my back.”
Well that was two “no”s, and Thancred wasn’t about to press for a third, even if he believed it in the Warrior’s best interests. After all, they were no child. He made sure to take a seat right beside them, relinquished by an Alphinaud who went slack-jawed at Thancred’s whispered request. With his long-since-mastered ability to multi-task, Thancred took full note of every word said in the meeting, while also making time to keep at least one eye and one ear fixed on his beloved friend.
At first, it began with an arduous attempt to mask a yawn, the Warrior’s face screwing up in the most delightful way. When they managed to defeat it, their body shuddering in the dissatisfaction of a lost yawn, the Warrior quickly looked at the Admiral, who was in the midst of speaking now.
The battles grew in frequency, and by the fourth, not even the Warrior of Light could fight back the yawn. They held a hand in front of their mouth in a poor attempt at hiding, and while none of the Eorzean leaders made any indication they’d noticed, from the other side of the Warrior, Alisaie bit down on her lips to stop a smile.
With the first line of defenses broken, it took little time for the others to crumble. The Warrior’s eyelids drooped, opened, drooped. Alisaie gave them a little poke in the leg where the leaders couldn’t see, but that wave of reinforcements lasted no more than a few minutes.
It was when the Warrior began nodding off, head bobbing as they fought now a semi-unconscious battle, that some of the representatives began to take note. Ser Aymeric, of course, was the first, a tiny fond smile on his face as he glanced their way. And Lyse let herself momentarily grin, then followed with a bit of concern. The others were less open in their reactions, particularly the stony-faced Raubahn, but no matter how experienced they all were at keeping their emotions concealed, as was the wont of political leaders, none were adept enough to hide their affection from Thancred’s sharp eye.
Alisaie looked on the verge of laughter, tapping her fingers on her thighs as if they were an invisible piano, perhaps as a way to redirect the energy threatening to burst from her tightly pursed lips. And beside her, Alphinaud had gone somewhat pale, briefly locking eyes with Thancred in a silent plea to rectify this mortifying situation.
But Thancred just shook his head. The fortress had fallen. It was too dangerous now to send in more reinforcements, lest the Warrior, rudely awoken from slumber, embarrass themselves with any sudden movements or noises of shock.
As Raubahn was speaking, his deep, rhythmic voice perhaps serving as a lullaby of sorts, the Warrior of Light began tipping to the side. Thancred’s arms were out long before their precious head could crash into the armrest, a soft enough landing that the Warrior of Light remained locked in sleep. All eyes turned onto Thancredㅡexcept Alisaie, who was pointedly looking away, fist at her mouth, and Alphinaud, who was casting his sister with a most disapproving frown.
After a few moments of awkward silence, Raubahn smiled and stood. “Let us continue this meeting tomorrow, my friends. We would all of us do well to get what rest we may be lacking in these busy times.”
“A fine idea,” Merlwyb said.
Aymeric, too, nodded. “This star and its woes will scarce wait for anyone, but neither will we save her if proper care is not taken.”
“Then tomorrow it is,” Kan-E-Senna said. She smiled brightly at the Warrior. “Master Thancred, would you be so obliged to look after our good friend?”
“My pleasure, of course,” Thancred said with an equally bright smile.
As the room filed out, Thancred caught Alphinaud’s hushed, “Alisaie, this is no laughing matter. Our friend must be exhausted indeed, and I am most dismayed I did not catch it earlier and put a stop to their atteㅡ” before they went out the doors.
Y’shtola, on the other hand, gave Thancred a very curious smile as she passed by, but made no remark otherwise.
When the doors closed with a soft boom that reverberated through the room, Thancred sighed at the sight of the Warrior sleeping against his arms. He couldn’t hold them there forever, as much as the idea tickled his fancy. Carefully he stood, maneuvering the Warrior onto the table instead, their arms folded neatly under them as a makeshift pillow. This room was no place for proper rest, but Thancred hated to disturb them when they so needed the nap. The uncomfortable environment would doubtlessly wake them sooner than later, anyway. He need only be patient.
There was at least one more thing he could do.
Thancred shrugged out of his coat and draped it gently over his sleeping Warrior. Then he took his seat again, laced his fingers together behind his head, looked up at the mural on the ceiling, and waited.
There were many fine details in the artwork to explore and ponderㅡthe great city of Ala Mhigo set against the unfurling heavens as Rhalgr, flanked by a stirring lightning storm, descended upon his beloved city. Yet, more often than not, Thancred found his gaze wandering to the face of his companion.
Though they worked well in keeping any negativity from their expressions, they’d been through so much the past two years, and Thancred found their performance slipping more with each passing day. It was only natural. No one was immune to constant trauma. But it pained Thancred all the same. And so to see their face now, devoid of any hurt or anxiety, but instead still and as tranquil as the hum of Mor Dhona’s aetheryte, it put Thancred’s heart at full ease.
Well, that and something else. Maybe he’d tried hard to avoid letting himself realize it, but after all that had happened, the madness on the First and the chaos still to come… What was the point in denying it?
The mural above was beautiful, yes. But it might as well have been a crude chalk painting in an alleyway compared to his Warrior of Light. They who had captured his heart so.
As he thought it, the Warrior’s breathing changedㅡa sharp breath, a pause. They blinked open their eyes, staring straight ahead for a moment before finding Thancred.
“Afternoon,” Thancred said. “I trust you slept as well as one can on a hard table in a cold, empty room.”
The Warrior slowly sat up, the coat slipping from their shoulders. They looked down at it for a long moment, a small smile on their face.
And then suddenly they looked at the table. The empty chairs. As their head snapped from side to side at a remarkable speed, the blood left their face. Hunching over, they pressed their hands to each side of their face, blocking it from Thancred’s view.
“Seven Hells,” they said quietly. “Please, please do not tell me I fell asleep during the meeting.”
“Unfortunately, that is exactly what transpired,” Thancred said. “But do not punish yourself too much. The others were quite understanding, and we all agreed to postpone the meeting to tomorrow, wherein I’m sure a recap will be in order.”
The Warrior moaned and then gave Thancred a look filled with such adorable misery that Thancred smiled and patted their back. “We all know how hard you work. There is naught to be embarrassed about. But please, if you would take this a lesson to mayhap heed the words of your concerned friends. Then you may avoid further transgressions.”
They looked down. “You did try to talk me out of it, didn’t you?” Their fingers brushed against the edge of Thancred’s coat, and Thancred tried not to think anything of the gesture.
“Now that you’re awake, I think you’ll agree we should migrate to your chambers,” Thancred said. “There you may finish what you started here but in the exquisite comfort of Ala Mhigan bedding.”
The Warrior chuckled a little. “I suppose you’re right…”
Thancred stood first, offering a hand. They stared at it, worrying the inside of their cheek, and then accepted. When they stood, they picked Thancred’s coat from the seat and laid it over their arm. “‘Tis a very warm coat,” they said. “I hope you did not freeze in its absence.”
“Not at all,” Thancred said. “I was far too busy looking out for a dear friend to even consider it.”
The Warrior smiled again, and abruptly turned, scampering for the doors. Luckily, their pace slowed once they were out of the meeting hall, and the two of them took their time on the way back. The leisurely pace, filled with comfortable silence, gave Thancred ample time to consider what he would do once they reached the Warrior’s quarters. Was the time right? If he said something now, would the Warrior welcome his words, reciprocated or not, or would they instead hastily disappear behind closed doors?
It was always safe not to make mention of these things. They would simply go on as they had, good friends, nothing more. No awkwardness or sorrow.
But Thancred wanted to. Who knew how much time either of them had left, and he didn’t want those days spent living with such a regret.
As the burnt orange door came into sight, Thancred realized he hadn’t come up with a plan. But no matter. Wasn’t the first time, right?
“And here we are,” he said. “Will you promise to sleep? Or, at the very least, to try your damnedest.”
The Warrior winced, but laughed. “I will.”
The two of them shared an extended look, something churning behind the green of the Warrior’s eyes. “‘Tis theㅡ” They grit their teeth and looked away. “‘Twill be the latter.”
Thancred was no stranger to sleepless nights and how mighty a foe they were. He still did not know the secrets to felling it, but now more than ever, he was determined to find a solution. Not to spare the Warrior the embarrassment of falling asleep during important events, and not just because the world needed the Warrior awake and strong, but because they, of all people, did not deserve this particular torment. Thancred would not suffer it.
And it was far more important than any silly love confession. How would that have helped in this situation? How selfishly daft he’d been to consider throwing that at them now.
“Ah,” he said. “An unfortunate confirmation of my suspicions. If there is aught I can do…”
The Warrior offered Thancred his coat, staring at it as they did so. “You always do more than enough, Thancred. More than anyone, I think.”
He didn’t want to, but Thancred lifted his hand to take the garment.
Until the Warrior, gaze still averted, then also quietly said, “I wonder why that is.”
Was the topic to come up anyway? Oh blast it all, Thancred thought, why not? I’ll be a fool if it helps even a little. And then if it didn’t, he would simply have to find a way to spin the conversation into something that did. Because the sight of the Warrior standing before him, so vulnerable and quiet in their fatigue, made his heart ache like it hadn’t ached before. He would do anything, anything at all.
“Well, Iㅡ” Thancred cleared his throat. “I…”
The Warrior finally looked up. The pink dusting their cheeks and nose, how glorious a sight it was.
“Damn it all,” Thancred muttered. “I expect the reason is that I’m in love with you, but who’s to say…”
Without a shift in their expression, the Warrior ceased their offering of Thancred’s coat, pulling it right up to their stomach where Thancred would have to fight to wrench it from their protection. Not that he would. They could keep the coat as long as they wanted. He’d go and grab another from his room if they so desired. And if they decided then to casually wear them…
Thancred felt a blush on face as well. This felt even sillier than he’d initially imagined.
“But I am keeping you from sleep,” he said, making no comment on the coat.
“Would you like to come in?” the Warrior said. “If no one needs you, that is.”
Thancred stared, lips parted in awe. So unexpected were their words, he had not the slightest inklings of what to respond with. But they beamed at him with such (sleepy) sincerity that Thancred was at least comfortable in believing that yes, the feelings were, to at least some meaningful degree, requited. And that opened up so many more doors to help .
Is that what this was? A request for his aid, just as it was also a confession of sorts?
The Warrior stepped up close and kissed him, soft and brief. Testing the waters, as it were.
“I think,” they said, “trying my damnedest may work better with the assistance of a good friend and… one I hold very close to my heart. An easy task, for all you would have to do is simply be there.”
Thancred tried it himself now, just double-checking, of course. He mirrored their kiss in tenderness and length. Though, as he pulled away, their mouth did try to follow. And like when their embarrassment hit back in the meeting room with full force, the Warrior stepped back and looked away.
Truly a remarkable thing how quickly they could swivel their head without snapping their neck.
At the sight, Thancred laughed again. “‘Twould be remiss of me not to ask if simply being there is all I am permitted?” When he drew the Warrior’s curious focus, said, “While I am no expert, I have found that holding one in need is exceptionally beneficial.”
“‘No expert’ my ass,” The Warrior shook their head. “Dear Thancred, never change.”
“I would not dare,” Thancred said. “Especially after such a heartfelt request.”
The Warrior’s laugh was cut off with a cartoonishly large yawn, then hidden behind a swift hand.
“And that brings us back to our being here in the first place,” Thancred said. He gestured to the door. “Shall we? I’m starting to feel a bit drowsy myself.”
“So that means you’llㅡ?” The realization sinking in, the Warrior opened their door and entered in backwards, that they might keep their eyes on Thancred.
“You think I was going to just disappear after all that?” Thancred said, following them in.
The Warrior waited for Thancred to be fully in the room, his hand on the doorknob, before walking towards him again. In response, Thancred backed up, closing the door as he did so. When it clicked shut, his back pressed up against it, the Warrior stopped, though their lips still moved forward to kiss him again.
But soon enough, another yawn ripped from their chest. When it passed, they banged their forehead lightly against the door beside Thancred’s head, groaning.
“Think of it as a greater incentive to sleep,” Thancred said. He pecked their forehead, soaking in the bliss of the simple action. “For when you awake, well, there’s no telling what might happen then.”