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Amidst the ruthless cascade of pouring rain, a gentle hand knocks hesitantly on the front door of the Dawn Winery.
“Luc… Are you in there…?”
Kaeya presses his ear against the tarnished wood, anxiety dragging its cold, spider-like fingers across his chest as he strains to listen for a response. He can’t hear a single thing; his senses are inundated by the piercing hiss of the torrential downpour and the relentless buffeting of the wind. He’s freezing, distraught, and soaked to his very core. Most of all, he’s worried about his brother.
A second knock. To no avail.
Why isn’t he answering the door?
Kaeya vigorously rattles the sleek metal latch sitting above the door’s handle out of restless frustration, his patience thinning with every passing moment. The door’s unlocked, there’s no way he isn’t in here…
“Luc, are you okay…?”
No response.
Kaeya’s desperation gets the better of him as he pounds on the door incessantly, barely feeling the resonating sting in his knuckles.
“I-I know you’re in there, Luc, so please just-“
…
He’s not going to wait any longer.
Cursing under his breath, Kaeya frantically undoes the metal latch and seizes the wrought iron handle in both hands, wrenching the door wide open in one swift motion. He stumbles inside, and the door promptly slams shut behind him with a resounding thud.
…Suddenly, everything feels too quiet.
The first thing that Kaeya sees are the muddy, haphazard shoe prints staining the once pristine flooring of the Dawn Winery’s main hall.
A dreadful, sickening feeling begins to form deep within the pit of his stomach.
Struggling to keep his apprehension at bay, Kaeya hastily follows the makeshift trail, the rhythmic clicking of his boots against the linoleum floor ringing in his ears.
He comes to an abrupt halt when he finds exactly who he was looking for.
A trembling red-headed boy doubled over in front of the fireplace, the ends of his hair sprawled dangerously close to languid flames.
Kaeya closes his eyes momentarily and takes as deep of a breath as he can muster. Lord Barbatos, Kaeya prays. I know you and I aren’t on the best of terms, but please lend us both your strength. I promise it’s all I’ll ever ask.
He opens his eyes.
“ Luc…” Kaeya trails off, at an uncharacteristic loss for words.
Diluc’s head snaps in Kaeya’s direction almost instantaneously. Kaeya stifles a horrified gasp. His brother’s eyes are bloodshot and puffy. His fiery red hair is tangled and matted and plastered onto his skin. The leftover blood, dirt, and grime that the rain hadn’t quite managed to wash away remained smeared on his face, coated on his hands, caked into his clothes. Despite his proximity to the fireplace, despite already being fully dried off from the heavy rain outside, he was shaking just as violently as he must have been when he was still soaking wet.
“Kaeya…?” Diluc sluggishly orients himself to be in somewhat of a sitting position, exhaustion evident in his slow, arduous movements. He squints, seemingly confused. “Is that really you…?”
“Of course it’s me, who else would it be?” Kaeya chuckles softly, mirthless.
The humor is lost on Diluc and his crimson eyes widen instead, teeming with misery and shame.
The red-haired boy’s chest heaves as his mouth opens, closes, opens, and closes again, his inner turmoil heartbreakingly apparent as he struggles to find words.
After what feels like ages, the boy finally speaks.
“I’m… I’m s-so sorry, Kaeya…”
…What?
“I couldn’t save him…” Diluc rasps, hanging his head low. “Why couldn’t I? Why couldn’t I be strong enough? He needed me, and I couldn’t even…” His labored breaths come in increments as his whole body shudders. “It’s all my fault… He’s gone, and it’s all my fault… What do we do now, Kaeya…?”
…Kaeya didn’t say a word.
With leaden steps, he quietly closed the distance and took his place on Diluc’s right side, sitting neatly on aching calves and facing the fireplace shoulder-to-shoulder with his brother.
Kaeya was still drenched from the rain. He wondered if Diluc minded.
If Diluc did mind, he showed no signs of it. He didn’t shy away, nor did he press closer. He simply didn’t move.
The two boys sat together, silently watching the leisurely dance of the flames before them, the dull crackle of embers filling the need for conversation.
…Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but Kaeya could almost feel his brother’s shivering subsiding. Just a little bit.
Even as the heat smothered Kaeya, even as he felt his calves go numb under the weight of his body, he stayed put, stayed still. Kaeya would sit patiently at his brother’s side until he stopped shaking for good, however long it would take.
It took more time than he would’ve hoped, but the shaking did eventually come to a stop.
Kaeya almost felt like smiling at this small, yet worthwhile victory. However, his lips pressed themselves into a tense, thin line instead.
He has to make his brother snap out of it. That idiot can’t keep tearing himself apart, taking all of the blame. Not on his watch.
Emboldened by a newfound sense of determination, Kaeya finally decides to break the silence. “It’s not your fault.”
“But-“
“Listen to me.” Kaeya cuts him off, his voice urgent and low, eyes gleaming with ice-cold intensity. “There was no way you could have known that Ursa would attack. If anything, I’m the one to blame. I couldn’t get there in time. To protect him. Protect both of you. If I-” A short, agitated sigh slips out unintentionally. “If I had just been faster, maybe-“
“No, please don’t say that.” That gentle, reassuring tone was worlds away from the pure vitriol that Diluc had directed towards himself just moments ago. Classic Diluc. Kaeya would laugh at the irony if it wasn’t so infuriating. His hopeless, hypocritical idiot of a brother.
“You did the best you could, so please don’t blame yourself, okay?” Diluc has the audacity to continue. Go figure. “The fault lies with me, not you, so-“
“Are you listening to yourself right now?” Kaeya scowls in sheer disbelief. “Just a second ago you were beating yourself up, and now you’re telling me to-“
“You don’t get it.” Diluc mutters, bitter and exasperated. “I was right there. I was the only one who could’ve protected him. If I were stronger-"
“But you are strong-”
“Not strong enough to save him! He… gave up his life… saving me . And I couldn’t do a single thing to stop it.”
Kaeya’s frustration dissipates in an instant, a deep sadness settling in its place before he can anticipate it. It leaves him breathless.
“I… I failed him.”
Shut up…
…Won’t you just shut up, and stop tearing my heart to pieces?
“I can’t fail again. I just can’t. I-I swear, Kae, I’ll get as strong as I possibly can, so that next time-”
“There won’t be a next time.” Kaeya interjected, his crystalline eyes glimmering pleadingly. His left hand came to rest on Diluc’s shoulder, and he inwardly cursed at how terribly it trembled. “Whatever it is, whatever life decides to throw at us, we’ll face it together.” A small ghost of a smile graced Kaeya’s lips, despite himself. “Won’t we, brother?”
Kaeya leaned towards Diluc at an angle, trying and failing to meet his eyes. The red-haired boy continued to avert his gaze, his previously troubled frown transforming into something more akin to a grimace. You don’t believe me at all, do you… Kaeya’s smile faltered until it disappeared entirely, and he retracted his hand from his brother’s shoulder once more, electing to interlace his own fingers on his lap instead.
The sorrowful silence that followed stretched on for what felt like an eternity, only broken by a whisper so faint and hoarse that Kaeya almost hadn’t heard it at all.
“...You’re all I have.”
Kaeya’s breath catches audibly in his throat, and his eyes subconsciously widen in shock. He turns his head towards his brother incredulously. What are-
“If something were to happen to you, too…” Diluc’s eyes shut tight enough to look physically painful, and he sways ever so slightly, as if overwhelmed by grief. “I just… wouldn’t be able to live with myself anymore. Simple as that.” The boy’s voice breaks, and he’s no longer able to hold back his tears. They trail relentlessly down his too-pale cheeks, and his dry, cracked lips tremble from the sheer weight of his words. Kaeya’s vision blurs as tears begin to well up in his own eyes.
“L-Luc…”
“It’s true. You know it is.”
“But Father wouldn’t-”
“Father is gone !” Diluc snaps in return, louder and harsher than intended. Kaeya flinches before he can suppress the instinct, retreating into himself like a dog with its tail between its legs.
Astounded by his own outburst, the anger burning brightly in the older boy’s eyes quickly fades into a regretful, weary sadness. He doubles back.
“I-I’m sorry… It’s just… I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too, Kae. You’re really… all I have left. I just… can’t… lose you, too…”
Diluc’s words are almost unintelligible as he brings his trembling hands to his face in a poor attempt at stifling his hysterical sobs. It was ultimately in vain, the overflow of tears slipping through the spaces between his fingers, streaming down the backs of his hands, and descending into the sleeves of his shirt.
Kaeya wanted to reach out and hold him. Tell him that it would all be okay. Wipe away his tears, like they were both little kids again.
But things just aren’t that simple anymore. No amount of comfort and empty promises could even begin to ease this agonizing pain.
Their absolute worst nightmare has become reality, and there was no avoiding it. He couldn’t run from it, even if he wanted to. This… was their life now.
Father would never get to grow old. Father would never get to see him and his brother grow up, fight together as knights, fulfill their own ambitions, get married, or even have kids of their own.
It had all come to a screeching halt in the blink of an eye. The life that they had built, just the three of them, and all of the happiness that had come with it.
The only happiness that Kaeya had ever known.
Kaeya finally thinks of something to say. He wants to tell his brother all about how grateful he is. How he and Crepus had both done more for him than he could ever possibly put into words. That all of the memories the three of them had made - sweet, beautiful memories - were more precious and meaningful than all of the gold and diamonds in the world. He opens his mouth to speak-
“Kaeya... I may have failed to protect our father, but archons be damned if I can’t protect my little brother. I promise, I’ll do everything I can to keep you safe. Even if I have to die trying.”
Even if I have to die trying.
Kaeya’s eyes went wide with pure, unadulterated horror. In an instant, all of his words are lost on his lips like drops of ink in water, blurry and bleeding.
He can't breathe.
Those seven words echo dizzyingly in Kaeya’s mind. Haunting him. He brings his hand to his face in a feeble attempt at grounding himself as everything spins around him, making him feel sick to his stomach. Those words should have brought Kaeya comfort, but all he could feel was the pounding of his heart, the ice-cold fear coursing throughout his entire body, making him go completely numb.
There’s no way in hell I’m letting you die for someone like me, dear brother. Not in a million years.
You are going to live. I will do whatever it takes. Even if you hate me forever for it.
The mere thought of Diluc turning his back on him frankly scares Kaeya half to death, but the idea of that selfless, lovable idiot throwing his life away for his sake…
No... Anything but that. Anything.
You are going to live, even if it means that we aren't going to be brothers from this moment on.
He knew what he had to do.
He fucking hated it. But it was for Diluc’s own good.
It… was.
Kaeya removed his trembling hand from his face, curling it into a tight fist at his side.
He regained control over his breathing, as best he could.
He forced his eyes to meet Diluc’s, a stab of guilt piercing his chest at the confusion and concern that clouded them.
This has to be done.
…I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.
“Diluc… There’s… Something I have to tell you.”
If this ends up being the last thing I ever do...
It will have been worth it, Luc.