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It was already late and a storm was raging outside, and Rhaenyra couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t gotten more than a few hours of rest since her mother had died and she had been officially made heir to the throne, there just always seemed to be too much going on, too many people who wanted something from her while still leaving her painfully lonely. She also felt cold, much colder than she should in her huge bed in her warm room.
She tried to pull her blankets up further over her head and tighter around herself but it didn’t help against the cold settling in her heart at all. She tossed and turned for another hour or so, listening to the nearly constant thunder outside and trying to fall asleep before she gave up and left the relative comfort of her bed again, replacing the too-cold blanket with a too-cold robe and searching for her boots that she was sure she had left somewhere close to her bed. It took longer than it should have to find and slip into them.
The stairs were slippery from the rain seeping through the windows and the cracks in the walls. It was dark, too, since she hadn’t bothered bringing a candle or torch with her, more than familiar enough with the castle to navigate it even without light. Still, she nearly slipped and fell down the stairs, only catching herself in the last possible moment. After that, she slowed down slightly, the fear of dying alone in an empty staircase overpowering her desperate need to reach her destination as fast as she could.
She stopped, just for a moment, by the door leading to the courtyard. It was raining enough that Rhaenyra could barely even make out the lights in the windows of the Red Keep through the falling water. She was already drenched in rain water and she hadn’t even left the safety of the building yet, not that it really mattered, she would have been cold either way. Still, stepping out into the storm took some effort, and not just because the wind pushed her back with a strength she hadn’t fully expected.
This time, she did slip, landing in a muddy puddle and getting some of the grimy water into her mouth. She spit it out as soon as she managed to lift her head but the taste stayed. Her robe was stained and she had started to shiver from the cold but she still got back up and started walking towards the Red Keep again. Her knee stung, she must have scraped it in her fall and if the rain hadn’t been so dense and the night so dark, she might have seen the blood running down her leg. She ignored the pain in favour of her want, her need to make it to the Keep.
When she reached it, the doors were barred but the guards opened them for her when she knocked. Both guards stumbled back when she stumbled inside, accompanied by another gust of wind and enough water to fill a tub. One of them stayed back but the other was by her side before she could even close the door, crowding her and asking countless questions she refused to listen to much less answer. He kept touching her shoulder and trying to get her to talk but she just ignored him and walked past both guards and towards the stairs.
The walk up the stairs felt much longer than it usually did, the water in her clothes weighing her down and the cut on her leg making it harder to walk. Still, she gritted her teeth and ignored the discomfort. She had gotten this far, she would not fail not because of some stairs. Besides, she would be able to rest for the first time in over a week once she reached the top of the tower and made it to the room that felt more like home than her own. By the time she reached the door, her body was shaking not only from the cold but also from the exhaustion of a task she could normally do easily but now – after a week without sleep – felt nearly impossible.
She took a moment or two to get her breathing back under control but, as soon as she did, the tears came back and she practically fell against the door instead of simply knocking like she had intended. She could hear movement on the other side, getting closer, but was too exhausted to steady herself before the wood in front of her suddenly moved aside.
Rhaenyra stumbled forward and would have fallen to the ground for the second time that night if it hadn’t been for the soft, warm body right in front of her, breaking her fall, or for the surprisingly strong arms immediately closing around her and holding her up the way Alicent had always done for her, even when they were children and her biggest problem was a new bruise or running out of cake they could share. Those seemed silly now but the comfort her friend offered was still just as important as it had been when they were children, maybe even more.
A small part of Rhaenyra wanted to pull back, hide her weakness before anyone could exploit it, but she didn’t have the strength, not now that she had finally reached Alicent and not while the other girl held her like she had been born for it, ignoring the water and mud and maybe even blood seeping from the princess’s gown and into her own nightdress. She managed to keep the princess close even while closing and locking the door and leading the shorter girl to her bed.
They stopped in front of it, Alicent holding Rhaenyra back before she could sink into the mountain of pillows with gentle touches before stepping aside and walking to the other end of the room, where she kept some of her clothes in a decorated chest. When she turned back, holding a simple shift that would only be slightly too big on Rhaenyra, the princess was exactly where she had left her, hunched over, hugging herself, and silently crying in a way Alicent had never seen before. It broke her heart but she knew that now was not the right time to wallow in her own pain, Rhaenyra needed her so she returned to her side and, for the first time since she had opened the door, started talking.
“I am truly sorry for your loss. How about I help you put on some dry clothes and patch up that knee and then we can lie down and talk. Or, if you aren’t ready for that, we can just rest for a while. I might even have some cake left for you if you’re hungry.”
If Alicent hadn’t been right next to Rhaenyra, she would have missed the miniscule nod the princess gave her in the twilight created by flickering candles and a fire that was about to go out. She hadn’t even reacted when her friend had mentioned cake. Rhaenyra didn’t help with getting undressed but she didn’t resist, either. She simply stood there, only moving when Alicent did it for her, tears still staining her face and body shivering like leafs in an autumn storm.
She calmed down slightly when Alicent had helped her into the dry nightgown and had guided her to the bed, where she now sat and waited for her friend to return to her side with a bowl of warm water, a clean rag, and some bandages. When the slightly older girl had gathered everything she needed, she came to kneel next to the bed so she could hold the injured leg on her lap. She lifted the fabric that had fallen over it and almost down to Rhaenyra’s ankle so she could reach the cut and started gently wiping the drying blood and dirt away with the now wet rag.
At first, Rhaenyra just sat there motionless, taking in the gentleness in silence but when Alicent hit a particularly sensitive spot with a bit too much pressure, her hand shot forward and landed in Alicent’s hair, gripping it so hard it was almost painful. When Alicent took this as a hint to slow down, to lighten her touch, the grip on her hair lessened but didn’t fully disappear until Rhaenyra was resting her hand on her head more than actually holding on to it. The warmth seeping into her scalp was distracting but after gathering her thoughts for a moment or two, Alicent managed to resume her task, cleaning the small cut with even more gentleness than before.
It took longer than it should have to fully patch up the knee but neither girl mentioned it or even noticed. Even once they were done and Alicent had fully bandaged up Rhaenyra’s leg, she stayed on her knees in front of the princess until the other girl moved her hand from the top of her head to her cheek and used it to pull her up until Alicent was standing more or less between her friend’s legs. Her face was burning up and so was that of the princess but still neither girl moved to put space between them.
After just standing there and purposefully not looking at each other for a while, Rhaenyra’s hand made its way into Alicent’s, squeezing and then even pulling until the older girl stumbled forward and landed almost completely on top of the princess. She tried to get up again, tried to apologize for her clumsiness, but Rhaenyra’s arms were around her, pulling her down so their heads were resting next to each other in the middle of the bed and Alicent was placed firmly on top of Rhaenyra.
“Can we just hold each other for a while, I can’t sleep on my own right now and I don’t want to be alone.”
It was rare that Rhaenyra sounded her age, even when it was just her and Alicent, but that made those rare moments of vulnerability that much more impactful, it even brought a small smile to Alicent’s lips that grew into a fond but still small laugh at the small whine the princess let out when she pulled back a bit. Her words were tinted by the same laughter.
“Don’t worry, I’m not leaving you. I just want to get both of us into a more comfortable position so we don’t wake up in pain tomorrow. That wouldn’t do any good for anyone, trust me.”
Rhaenyra calmed down at that but the most adorable and obviously fake pout Alicent had ever seen overtook her face so Alicent decided to hurry as she made her way towards the one pillow she had. When she reached it she lay down on her back, the same way she did every night, and reached out for her princess who fell into her arms immediately, settling against her chest and placing her face in her neck.
They stayed like this long enough that Alicent thought Rhaenyra had finally fallen asleep until she felt soft lips moving against her neck. Heat rose to her face again and she was sure the princess could feel it too. That certainty grew when Rhaenyra lifted her head again and placed it on the pillow next to Alicent’s so their faces were nearly touching. Surprisingly, it was Alicent who leaned in first to connect their lips, ignoring all of her anxieties for once because this was Rhaenyra, who would never hurt her even if she had read every single sign wrong.
Luckily, she didn’t need to worry about that for too long since the princess reciprocated the kiss almost immediately, even deepening it by opening her mouth and tangling her hands in Alicent’s hair again and pulling her even closer as if she was trying to fuse them together until it was impossible to tell where one girl ended and the other began. They clung to each other more than ever before but it still didn’t feel like it was enough.
The kiss went on until Rhaenyra was sure she would pass out from lack of air and even then she would have gladly kept going had Alicent not pulled back with a gasp, clearly just as out of breath. They were both breathing heavily against each other’s mouths, still nearly as close as they had been moments before but now also able to look at each other, seeing nothing but happiness and adoration, maybe even love though they were not yet ready to say so.
They stayed still in that moment for what felt like eternity, until Rhaenyra’s exhaustion caught up with her and she could no longer hold back a yawn. That, in turn, made Alicent laugh quietly though not maliciously. The princess still tried to glare at her but was interrupted by another yawn, which in turn made Alicent laugh even more, shaking both of their bodies with her mirth. Through tears of laughter, she managed to choke out a few words that she somehow mumbled directly into Rhaenyra’s ear as her laughter died down.
“It’s all right, you should rest. I will keep you safe while you sleep and everything else can be dealt with tomorrow.”
While she spoke, Alicent ran one hand through Rhaenyra’s hair while the other traced soft circles on her back in what she hoped was a soothing rhythm. To her surprise, it actually worked and, instead of complaining like she had expected, the princess fully relaxed in her arms, breathing evened out and a peaceful expression on her face, though that couldn’t be seen since she buried her face deeper in the crook of Alicent’s neck with every steady beat of her heart. It didn’t take long for Alicent to follow her into sleep with a small smile on her face.