Work Text:
Chapter 1:
Six months ago….
“He wouldn't be so exhausted if he was managing his health better.” Yoongi was never one to beat around the bush.
“Oh you’re one to talk…He’s fine….right hyung, one more night and the tour is over you can do it.”
“Let's eat well tonight and you won't feel so tired tomorrow! We can order whatever you want!” Jungkook said, trying to tempt jimin.
The six of them were gathered around Jimin, they had been in the middle of switching outfits before the last set when Jimin had burst into tears as the staff tried to undress him. Never had they seen him this way, especially not during a concert. The leader was worried he was having some sort of breakdown or panic attack from exhaustion.
“We don’t have time for this, army is waiting.”
Crouching down to be at eye level with Jimin, Hobi placed his hands on the younger’s shoulders in a firm grip.
“Look at me.” he waited as the crying idol wiped his eyes and held his gaze.
“Good, now take some deep breaths and I want you to really listen to what I'm about to ask you.”
“Are you hurt?”
Jimin stared at him, eyes wide as he slowly let the words process in his mind before shaking his head.
“Good, then I need you to change your clothes so we can go out and perform for all those people who love you so much.” Just as Jimin was starting to work himself up again, Hoseok quickly wrapped him in his arms and signaled the others to step back.
“Everyone clear the room, we’ll go on and chat with army that should buy you some time with him, but he needs to make it on stage, we don’t need this getting back to management.”
Hoseok nodded to the leader as he rocked Jimin in his arms. Jimin had been under a lot of pressure from the company recently, there were talks about if they needed to pull him off schedule for a bit but that didn't go over well with their leader. They were seven and it was going to stay that way, which is why he had to figure out something fast to get Jimin back on that stage.
“Jimin, please hyung wants to help you, tell me what's wrong.” he pleaded.
The clock ticking away on the wall was painfully loud as he waited for Jimin to respond.
“I don’t know….i.-it’s”
Hoseok watched as Jimin sat up in his arms, eyes searching Hoseok's face as if he was hoping he would be able to explain what was wrong. Releasing his grip on his hyungs jacket jimin pointed to his head.
“Feels full.”
Hoseok didn’t really understand what that meant but he did know he had to get jimin ready.
“I promise as soon as we get home, you can take your clothes off and relax, and hyung will bring you something to make you feel better but for now i need you to do something for me, can you help me jimin.”
It wasn't great but hoseok had managed to get jimin back on stage and through the last of the set. As soon as they arrived at the hotel Jimin glued to his side the whole way, hoseok helped him out of his clothes and told him to lay down as he went and got some sleeping pills from the staff. He had only whined a bit before finally taking the pill. Jimin drifted off to sleep within minutes of hoseok gently rubbing his back.
Hoseok was lost in his thoughts as he pondered what Jimin meant about his head being full. He tried thinking back to the past weeks leading up to the outburst. Jimin seemed tired and a bit stressed but they all were. He would have to check in with the other maknaes to see if jimin was eating and sleeping enough, Hoseok was usually very observant of his dongsaengs but he had been spending more time with yoongi in the studio.
He didn’t even realize his mind had drifted off into sleep until he felt the bed shift and felt the morning sun on his face. “Jimin?”
“Sorry hyung, i didn't mean to wake you, i'm not even sure how i ended up in here.” he chuckled nervously as he looked around the room.
“It's okay, do you wanna talk about yesterday.”
“No one is upset with you Jimin, I just want to make sure you feel okay.”
Hoseok sat up, placing a reassuring hand on jimin’s knee, jimin looked even more confused.
“Hyung,I don’t wanna freak you out but I don't know what you're talking about, and I really can’t remember how I got here last night.”
Alarm was all over hoseok's face at jimin's confession. “Can you tell me what you remember.”
“Umm I remember going to soundcheck, and bits and pieces of being on stage but my head feels kinda…”
The word full floats to Hoseok's mind as Jimin trails off. He was trying to remain calm as he could see the panic edging on Jimin's face as he tried his best to recall last night.
“Maybe we should call namjoon to-”
The tears came quickly at the mention of their leader and just before his eyes he watched a switch flip in jimin.
“No no no.” he whined as he threw himself across hoseok's lap.
“No please no no no.” the boy cried as hoseok tried to soothe him.
“Shhh”
“Okay relax for me, I don't want you getting upset. Hyung just wants to help.”
Hoseok spent the next hour on a hushed phone call with an advice nurse about the symptoms Jimin was showing, as the nurse asked questions his anxiety about some sort of head injury being the cause were eased. She gave him a list of things to watch out for and set an appointment with a doctor for later this afternoon. He stared at Jimin as he paced the room arguing with himself on what he should do next.
A soft knock on the door had him rushing to cover jimin, he doesn't know why but he felt a sudden protectiveness over jimin’s fragile state.
“Hey, I brought you some breakfast.” Yoongi made to walk in the room but Hoseok continued to block the door.
“Are you going to let me in?”
“Jimin- he’s still sleeping”
“ That's why you asked me to sleep somewhere else.”
“You baby him too much seok-ah, his behavior yesterday was completely unprofessional.”
“You don’t understand….i’m really worried about him.”
Taking a second look yoongi could see the dark circles under hoseok’s eyes and the worry in the way he was shifting his eyes from yoongi back to his room, as if he didnt like even being this far from jimin.
“Is…is he not eating again?” he asked in a gentle tone as he tried to soothe the worry lines on hoseok’s forehead.
Hearing voices down the hall, Hoseok pulled Yoongi into his room, shutting the door.
“I called a doctor….they said i should bring him in.”
After explaining the events of the morning to Yoongi, he insisted that they call the leader.
“No,he’ll freak out again and the nurse said to try to keep him calm.”
“Baby if something is wrong with Jimin, if he’s sick joon has to know.”
“I promise I'll tell him after the doctor, but for now can you please just help me.”
“Fine but…”
“Hyungie”
Yoongi watched as Jimin sat up in bed rubbing at his red eyes, “hurt.” he said in a cute whisper pointing at his stomach.
Hoseok and Yoongi stared at the boy,having never heard such a voice from him.
“Do you want to eat?” Yoongi offered as he came to sit on the bed on Jimin's other side not occupied by hoseok.
Hoseok almost cooed at the way Jimin tilted his head to the side in question as Yoongi held the donut up to his mouth.
“Here, have a bite. I bet you’re hungry from all that crying.” Yoongi teased earning him a smack to his leg from hoseok.
Turning his attention back to hoseok, he once again pointed to his stomach,this time pushing the covers off and kicking his legs out. “Hyungie…stomach hurt.”
“The little brat has to go to the bathroom seok-ah.”
“Don’t call him that or I swear you’ll have a lot more lonely nights in your future.”
Getting startled by Hoseok's hash tone, Jimin began to tear up.
“Hyung, I feel really confused. Are you mad at me?”
Just like that, Jimin's voice was back to normal, if not a little strained as he tried not to cry.
“No of course not, Minie, I think you might need to go to the doctor. Would you like me to take you or i could get Namjoon-”
“You! Please hobi hyung i want you….im scared.”
Jimin had managed to stay lucid through the process of getting ready for his appointment and the drive over but as soon as the doctor called his name for the back room he clung to hoseok.
“It's okay if you both want to come back with him.” The doctor said motioning between Hoseok and Yoongi, who had been silent for the past two hours, just watching jimin.
The two of them sat quietly as the doctor ran test on jimin. All scans seemed to appear normal so no head injury. Yoongi held Hoseok's hand as they listened to the doctor do his intake interview.
“Jimin-ssi you have done so well with all my questions, i have a few more for you and we’ll be all done.”
“Can you tell me how old you are?”
“Ummm.” he leaned into hoseok's shoulder to whisper “hyungie how many old is Minie?”
Hoseok looked to the doctor for guidance. Surely the test was wrong if Jimin couldn't remember his own age. Had he fallen down and hit his head without anyone noticing?
“That's okay Jimin-ssi can you tell me what happened before your head started feeling…..full” he said looking back at his notes “how did you feel? Sacred? Angry? Tired?”
“Minie feel scared of the loud noise, and and sleepy but hyungie made it better right hyungie?”
“Good job explaining jimin-ssi.”
“Goodnight time hyungie?” Jimin said as he yawned trying to crawl into hoseok's lap.
After observing for a few more minutes, and being sure that Jimin was sleeping, the doctor urged Hoseok to place him down on the exam table so they could step out of the room to talk.
“What it looks like we are dealing with is the early signs of self induced age regression.”
“How can we fix him?”
“Well it would depend on what exactly is triggering the regression, my best guess would be severe stress but there is usually a specific reason that sets it off, until we know what that is we can’t begin the proper therapy to address it.”
“He mentioned the loud noise and then feeling tired.”
“That might be a trigger but it's definitely not the cause, you said he reacted the same way when you raised your voice to your partner here.”
“He actually seemed to snap out of the headspace when Hoseok yelled at me, he questioned if Hoseok was mad at him.” Yoongi offered, finally breaking his silence.
“I see, the only thing we can do is try to make him comfortable until he is able to express what’s going on in his head.”
“These next few weeks he will need someone who can watch over him, he has no control over when he will slip into his headspace and from the looks of it his age is bouncing around, also he seems to hold no memory or awareness of his condition.”
“I would recommend time off in a facility but that might do more harm than good to his fragile state of mind, but it’s an option. Being a caregiver is a very consuming task and it’s completely understandable if you aren’t up for it…”
“I’ll do it!” Hoseok said cutting the doctor off
“We both will” yoongi agreed giving hoseok’s hand a firm squeeze.
After that day at the hospital jimin had made it through their last concert and three days later the group had flew home to Korea. Hoseok and Yoongi had decided to keep the whole thing to themselves and when jimin was questioned about his outburst by the others he simply laughed it off none the wiser.
The couple spent every free moment studying up on age regressions, being a little, and how to be a caregiver. They had two more video visits with the doctor to update him on jimin’s condition and he told them that sometimes littles could go extended periods of time without regressing so they should just remain observant and on stand by.
It was two weeks later as they were leaving from meeting that they saw the first signs of a possible slip.
“Okay hoba and I will take the first car.”
They had wanted to go out on a date night to celebrate the start of their week long break.
“Have fun you two, I’m sure this will be the last we see of the happy couple the entire break.” Jin joked as they all packed up their bags.
“So the next car will take the four of us to the train since we are headed to our families. Leaving the last car and dorm all alone for jimin.” Namjoon added.
“Hyung are you sure you don’t wanna head back to busan with me?” Jungkook questioned.
“Last chance the car is outside….you’re gonna be all alone.” Jungkook joked as he wrapped Jimin in a back hug.
Watching the encounter Yoongi saw the worry on Jimin's face at the mention of being alone. It’s the same look he had when he heard hoseok threaten him last week.
“Jimin, how could you forget hyungs were going to take you to dinner tonight.”
Hoseok looked confused by Yoongi's statement but went along anyway, reaching out his hand to the little. Jimin smiled, twisting himself free from Jungkook's hold rushing to Hoseok.
“Ah why are you so cute, let's have hyung buy us lots of yummy food.”
Hoseok would be lying if he said he wasn't happy to see Jimin be little again. He had read so much about how regression could be such a great stress reliever for the little and he was determined to give jimin a happy experience, no tears tonight was the goal. He also read things he could do to encourage a slip. They were on break. What better time for them to get comfortable in their new roles.
“Do you want hyungie to carry your bag baby?”
“Hyung, I can carry my own bag.” Jimin said in a shy voice as he looked around at the other members watching their encounter.
“No fair, Jimin hyung gets to join your date night! I wanna come too!” Tae whined
“Maybe next time, you all enjoy your break, see you in a week!” Yoongi called over his shoulder as he followed the pair to the car.
“Hoba we agreed to take it slow, we don't wanna overwhelm him and more importantly you need to watch it around the others.” He scolded, once they were a safe distance away but not loud enough for Jimin to hear as he walked a few paces ahead of them.
“Sorry, I know it's just he hasn't slipped in so long and we prepared everything for him.”
“I know baby, but let's let him decide if he wants to slip.”
Throughout dinner Jimin seemed to teeter on the edge of his headspace. He basked in the attention that his hyungs gave him. Jimin wasn’t sure why Hoseok insisted on calling him his baby and hand feeding him but he didn’t mind.
“You did so good eating, what do you want to do now?” Hoseok asked as he cuddled Jimin between him and Yoongi in the backseat.
Now that Jimin was fed the long hours of the day we’re catching up to him, he was feeling fuzzy and words were coming slower to his mind. Trying his best to shake this feeling he pulled his hands free from Hoseok’s. Jimin already felt bad that he had invaded on their date night, he should excuse himself before he took up anymore of their time.
“I go home now hyungie,” Jimin said, looking down at his lap.
The thought of the big empty dorm scared him, but he pushed that aside.
“Car take minnie home now please.”
“Of course baby, we can all go home.” Hoseok said as Yoongi informed the driver.
“I'll cancel the rest of our plans.”
Hearing that caused Jimin to get upset, he didn't want to be the reason for his hyungs' ruined night. Why did he always mess things up? He should have gone home earlier, now his hyungs would be upset with him and leave him at the dorm all alone.
“Love how about we leave that on.'' Yoongi said, trying to gently pry Jimin's hand off his seatbelt buckle.
“Home now!” the little yelled.
“We are going as fast as we can baby, look at hyungie.”
Taking his face between his hands, Hoseok turned his face to face him, tears were spilling out of Jimin's eyes as he hyperventilated.
“Breath with me baby….” Hoseok blew a slow breath across Jimin's face as the little one continued to cry.
“Home hyungie” he wailed as hoseok continued to blow soothing breaths across his face.
“I know baby, we are gonna take you home but can you copy hyungie and breathe.”
As hoseok continued to blow cool breaths jimin attempted to copy although he was still panting too hard to get it right.
“That's okay keep trying baby, look at me” hoseok encouraged as they took turns doing the breathing exercise.
“Look at that no more tears, why is my baby so good.” he said, placing a kiss on both of his cheeks. Now tired from his crying, Jimin leaned into the elders shoulder.
Twenty minutes later Jimin was still awake as the driver pulled into their building's underground parking. The elevator ride up was silent followed by the little pausing in the doorway of their home.
“Why are you standing outside, baby? Come let hyungie take your coat off.”
Jimin kept his eyes down and a tight hold on the zipper of his coat. In his little mind if he didnt go in then they couldn't leave him. He would stay right by the door all night no matter how sleepy he was.
“No” he whined, slapping Hoseok's hand away hard as he tried to take his jacket.
“Jimin, no hitting! Say sorry to your hyung now.” Yoongi scolded.
“No.” he said, trying to strike out at Yoongi as well.
“Yah! Do it again and I'll…” What would he do? Yoongi had yet to reach that chapter in his caregiver books. Looking to hoseok for help, but all he offered was a shrug.
“I’ll send you to your room” yoongi tried to make himself sound as stern as possible, the books said it was important to set clear expectations early on.
Jimin’s eyes watered but he quickly rubbed them away as he had a heated stare down with his caregiver. Jimin didn't want to go to his room and he didn't mean to hit his hyungie but they couldn't understand him, Jimin couldn't find the words to make them understand so he did what any other child would do. He acted out.
Looking all around the entry way his eyes locked on the shoe rack. Before his better judgment could catch up to his actions he was tipping it over. The loud crash echoing in the empty dorm causes Jimin to jump right into his hyungies arms in fear of getting hurt.
“Oh no you don’t, hoseok put him down now.”
“He’s scared, he didn't mean to do it.”
“Baby, he knew exactly what he was doing, send him to his room or make him clean it up.”
The little one hid his face in his hyungies neck.
“Minnie baby, can you tell yoongi hyung it was an accident.”
Jimin did not lift his head but he let a small “sawrry” slip out.
“Oh such a good boy, now can you help clean up this mess. When you're done hyungie will help you get ready for bed.”
Forty-five minutes later, Yoongi watched from the doorway as Hoseok helped Jimin into his night time clothes. Jimin seemed to have aged up a bit during the clean up, if yoongi had to guess he was about 2-3 when they got home but was now around five as he spoke quietly with hoseok about his day.
“Will hyungs spend the whole time with jiminie?”
“We will baby.”
“Is yoonie hyung still mad at jiminie?”
Hoseok looked over at the door to his partner.
“Yoonie hyung loves you very much, even when he’s upset.”
Jimin looked over at the door and quickly back down again when he caught Yoongi's eye.
“Okay little one, in bed and time for sleep.” Hoseok pulled back the covers as Jimin climbed into bed. Tucking him in he began running his fingers through his hair.
“Sorry hyungie, i no hit anymore.”
“Thank you baby, close your eyes.”
Slipping his right thumb into his mouth, Jimin reached his left hand out to rub Hoseok's cheek.
Hoseok watched as the boy slowly drifted off into sleep, he knew he wouldn’t remember any of this when he came out of the headspace so he took a little longer stroking his hair before finally getting up and creeping out the door.
Yoongi and Hoseok got themselves ready for bed in record time. Taking care of a little was exhausting. As they lay in bed, hoseok was the first to break the tension.
“That was intense right.”
“His eyes are like a faucet, I'm worried he might never run dry.”
“It's gotta be so scary for him, feeling all these things but not being able to put them in words.”
“Well he sure does have that no word down, it must be his favorite.”
“Yah, can you be serious for a second!”
“You’re so good with him…..I worry he doesn't want me involved.”
“Hey it's only our first day really, could it have gone better…yes.”
“But we totally had a good cop bad cop thing going for us.”
“I think I scared him.”
“You didn’t, well maybe a little but hey he did clean up his mess and how cute was that little sorry he gave you!”
“Shhh you’ll wake him up.”
“Haha sorry he’s just so cute!”
“Yah! Here we have to get to chapter 35 tonight because tomorrow you're playing bad cop.” Yoongi said, tossing Hoseok the parenting book.