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“MOM! COME IN HERE AND HELP ME DEFEND MYSELF!” Chrissy yelled from the living room.
Steve sighed as he came in from the kitchen. “Chrissy, it’s weird enough that the kids call me mom, I cannot have you doing it too. I’m not that much older than you!”
Chrissy smirked. “Eddie said he’d beat up any guys his age who said that to me.”
“Hey, I am younger than Eddie,” Steve said, pointing at her victoriously.
Chrissy gasped theatrically. “Steve, is an older man taking advantage of you?! Blink twice if you don’t feel safe!”
Robin laughed hysterically at her girlfriend’s antics.
Eddie chose that moment to walk into the room, throwing an arm around Steve’s shoulders and grinning evilly. “Oh I take advantage of Stevie here all the time, sometimes three times a night, isn’t that right baby?”
He winked at Steve while Robin and Chrissy faked gagging.
“Ugh Eddie you ruined it!” Robin said, then descended once more into giggles, seemingly for no reason.
Eddie raised his eyebrow at Steve in question. Steve just shrugged.
“Hey, the edibles were your idea. Now live with the monsters you’ve created, love,” he said, patting Eddie on the cheek.
“No joking about monsters Steve, geez!” Chrissy said, but he could tell she was teasing.
“Aren’t I supposed to be defending you from something?” Steve reminded her, and Chrissy pointed at him in excitement.
Steve and Eddie sat down on the couch, Steve smiling at how Eddie immediately wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He focused on Chrissy where she was seated on the floor in front of the armchair that held Robin. Even sprawled on the floor and high out of her mind, she managed to look poised and dainty. She had two cute pigtail braids, courtesy of Robin’s need to always be doing something with her hands.
“Oh, yes! I need some bisexual solidarity here. Robin is teasing me for taking until my teens to realize that not everyone thought boobs were awesome,” she pouted.
Steve laughed, but it was Eddie who responded. “Well, I mean I can’t speak for straight women, but as a gay man I don’t blame you. I’m not attracted to them, but boobs are kinda great. Fun and bouncy. I think anyone who can’t admit that boobs are kinda awesome might be a little closeted.”
Chrissy wooed victoriously, leaning back to stick her tongue out at Robin. Robin just rolled her eyes fondly.
“I gotta say, your little bi alliance with Steve is very cute babe. Too bad you only have one brain cell between you,” she joked.
They both hollered at her, Steve attempting to throw some popcorn at her but just managing to get it on the carpet since it was too far away.
“Come on Stevie, she’s kinda right. You and Chris are like the same person. You even have the same taste in men,” Eddie said, waggling his eyebrows at his boyfriend.
Steve looked confused for a second. He held his weed better than Chrissy and Robin, that’s for sure, but it always made him a little slower on the uptake. Then his eyes went wide and he looked at Chrissy, who was blushing and hid her face in Robin’s lap for a second with a groan.
“Aw come on Eds, are you never going to let me live that down?” she said.
“Don’t be shy, doll, it’s ok, the Munson charm is simply irresistible!”
“Wait wait wait, for real what’re we talking about? When was Chrissy into Eddie?!” Steve said. He didn’t sound upset, merely curious.
Robin laughed. “Holy shit Eddie never told you that story? Chrissy told me on our second date! She totally kissed him during the Vecna shit.”
Steve rounded on his boyfriend with wide eyes and Eddie held up his hands in defense.
“Tried! She tried to kiss me, in a beautiful shared moment of vulnerability, and I very gently and nicely let her down easy,” Eddie explained.
“You panicked and came out of the closet to make me stop crying,” Chrissy deadpanned.
Robin and Steve both cracked up. Eddie tried to look offended but ended up laughing along with them.
“Ok, yes, I very much did do that,” he admitted.
Robin suddenly gasped, causing all eyes to look to swivel to her. She pointed at Steve, wiggling around in her chair excitedly. He had no idea what message she was trying to get across. She rolled her eyes at his failure of best-friend telepathy.
“No but Steve! Come on, it didn’t hit me before but like, that’s our story! You confessed your love to me, I turned you down by coming out of the closet, and then we became best friends!”
“Hey, I didn’t confess my love, I mentioned I might have a tiny little crush on you. And, I was under the influence of Russian drugs, I’d like it noted,” Steve said.
“I would like to add I was cursed by an evil wizard when I tried to kiss Eddie,” Chrissy said primly.
“And then you both turned out to be bisexual. Oh my god, Eddie, Steve and Chrissy are the same person. What does that say about us?” She said in mock horror.
Steve and Chrissy locked eyes, and somehow communicated without words.
“It means you have excellent taste!” they said in perfect unison.
Eddie and Robin both groaned.