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It’s been several months – nearly half a year, actually – since James had tried to ask Evans out on a date. He had spent the last several Hogsmeade weekends with Sirius instead, who had insisted they go together.
“It’s to fend off the people after me,” Sirius would say by way of explanation, “you know how it is.”
And James did understand.
Sirius was easily the most handsome person that James had ever seen – gorgeous hair, dazzling eyes, sharp features – and he was asked out quite often, though Sirius would consistently reject them, claiming, “There’s only one for me, Prongs, and I’ll settle for nothing less than the one.”
Over those months, it seemed that the lack of date requests had mellowed James’s relationship with Evans into something distantly cordial, which was a huge step up from the hostility it had been before, so if he asked again now, she might be open to actually accepting. The first thing he does is seek out his best mate. He wants to get Sirius’s opinion before he attempts asking Evans out again.
“So?” James asks, after giving Sirius a brief explanation. Sirius picks up on James’s thought process quickly, and James doesn’t have to elaborate much for Sirius to understand. “Do you think it’ll work?”
Sirius’s lips twist into a wry smile. “Yeah, go for it.”
Emboldened by Sirius’s show of support, James beams, throwing an arm over Sirius’s shoulders to pull him into a sideways hug. “Thanks, Pads!”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius says, rolling his eyes and brushing James off. “Go get her, Prongs.”
The action itself is playful, but something in Sirius’s eyes seems to dim.
James falters. “Is something wrong?”
Sirius jerks his head upward, eyes wide like a panicked deer. His entire expression seems to fall for a moment before he’s forcing a smile onto his face. “No! No, I’m fine.”
James frowns, “Do you want to talk about—?”
“James,” Sirius says, and his lips press together like he’s trying to suppress a grimace, “just drop it, okay?”
“But—” James tries, but Sirius shakes his head, and James concedes. He’s never been good at saying no to Sirius, and if Sirius doesn’t want to talk about whatever it is, then James won’t pry. “Alright.”
“Good,” Sirius says, bumping James amicably. The mood gets a bit lighter. “Now go and ask her. You’ve got a good chance. I know I wouldn’t be able to refuse if you asked me.”
James’s heart swells at Sirius’s words, and he’s still riding on that wave of confidence when he runs into Evans in the hallway.
“Oh – Potter,” Evans says. “Hello.”
“Evans,” James greets in return. “Do you want to go to Hogsmeade together?” James asks, and after a moment, optimistically adds, “As a date?”
James is feeling hopeful after what Sirius had said, but he’s trying to keep his expectations low. Still, the worst she can say is no, and he’s had plenty of experience with her rejections, so at least he knows what to expect if she refuses. Or at least, that’s what James had thought beforehand.
Evans’s face goes through several expressions before finally landing on fury. “What is wrong with you?”
“Uh,” James says.
“I don’t even like Black,” Evans says vehemently, “but that doesn’t mean I’m okay with you trying to cheat on him with me!”
James is taken aback, and all he can manage to say is, “Huh?”
“I’m still not into you,” Evans glares at him, “and I’m especially not going to be your little side piece, you absolute toerag.”
“I’m not – I’m not cheating—” James begins, but shuts his mouth when Evans steps forward with an intense look, anger flashing in her eyes.
“You – are – dating – Black,” Evans says, punctuating each word by poking a finger into his chest, “and now you’re going to cheat on him by asking me out?”
James blinks at her, uncomprehending, then says, “Sirius and I aren’t dating.”
Evans stops short at his words, sputtering incoherently for a moment before she gives him a look like James is the one who’s being an idiot here. “What?”
“What?” James echoes blankly.
Evans stares at him for a long moment. “You are so stupid.”
And then she turns on her heel and walks away, leaving James to his confusion.
***
James goes back to his dorms, moving to sit on his bed, pulling his curtains shut as he thinks over his interaction with Evans. Her words just didn’t make sense. Why would she assume that he was dating Sirius? He loves her, and she’s told her so ever since his crush first developed.
James doesn’t love Sirius.
Well – no, that’s not quite right. He does love Sirius, obviously, but just as a friend. They’re just close friends, that’s all that they’ve been. Evans had it all wrong. They’re not dating. He doesn’t feel anything romantic for Sirius.
Does he?
He doesn’t.
He can’t be in love with Sirius because James is in love with Evans, he’s sure of it; the way her eyes flash when she rounded her fiery temper on him always had his heart pounding in his chest, she was scary like that, even being shorter than he was and – okay.
Maybe he felt nervous around her because of fear, not love.
Still, that didn’t mean she was right about him and Sirius.
Sirius is – well, he’s just Sirius.
Sirius, who has been James’s best mate since the moment they met on the train. Sirius, who understands him without James needing to explain. Sirius, who has always been there for him. Sirius, who makes him happy. Sirius, who has been by his side for years now, and James can’t imagine a time when he wasn’t. It was almost as if they had clicked together like puzzle pieces, two parts of the same whole, and – oh.
Oh.
Evans did have it right.
James is so stupid.
***
James finds Sirius just behind the quidditch stands – it’s a relatively private area that the two of them would head to for a bit of peace and quiet, away from everyone else. In light of his new revelations, James can’t help but wonder if that’s why Sirius had insisted on it back in first year, because as private as their dorms were, Peter and Remus were still there, but this space was just for the two of them.
James walks towards him, feeling uncertain around him for the first time since he’s known Sirius. James always was comfortable when Sirius was around – there had been nothing to hide between the two of them, Sirius just seemed to know, to understand, even when James hadn’t put his thoughts to words. They could share feelings with a glance, except, apparently, the romantic feelings that James had been so oblivious to.
“James?” Sirius gives him a look of concern. “Is something wrong?”
“I—” James says, but the sentence trails off when he realizes that he’s not even sure where to begin with what he wants to convey.
Sirius pats him on the shoulder with a sympathetic expression, “Evans rejected you again?”
“No – she,” James waved his hands in a helpless gesture, trying to find the proper words, “well, she did reject me, but she did it because she thought we were dating.”
Sirius doesn’t laugh it off as a joke. He doesn’t tell James that it’s a stupid thought and that Evans was totally wrong for thinking so. His expression gets almost pained, and James is filled with the overwhelming urge to pull Sirius into a hug and never let go.
“And I told her that we weren’t dating,” James continues, “but I thought it over for a bit and I came to find you because I think – I think I would like to date you.”
There’s a sharp intake of breath from beside him, but James keeps his gaze firmly fixed on the grass. The anticipation is eating at him. Sirius doesn’t say anything as he walks in front of James so they’re facing each other.
“James,” Sirius says, and the sound of his name stirs him into motion. James looks up to meet Sirius’s eyes. Sirius looks at him, really looks at him, and James swallows. “I think I would like to date you too.”
Then, Sirius is taking James’s hands in his own. The movement is hesitant, and Sirius’s eyes are on James as he pulls James’s hands to his mouth, pressing a kiss to each of them. The action sends sparks down his arms. James can feel a grin stretching across his face.
“This alright, Prongs?”
“More than alright,” James replies.
Sirius breaks into one of his genuine smiles – the kind that made his eyes sparkle so bright it was almost as if he was glowing, the kind that never failed to make James’s stomach churn and heart clench and how did he never notice this before?
Then, Sirius releases his hands.
James let out an involuntary sound of dejection as they fell back to his sides. Sirius smirks in response, and before James could process what’s happening, Sirius is grabbing him by the front of his robes and pulling him close, closer, until their lips are pressed together in a rough kiss, and all thought leaves James’s mind.
James wraps his arms around Sirius to pull him ever closer as Sirius moves his hands to James’s hair, taking hold and tilting James’s head for a better angle. James melts against him in response, his entire body buzzing with exhilaration and pleasure, pressing into each other’s bodies until they have to separate for air.
Even then, Sirius is unwilling to let James go too far, leaning into him until their foreheads are touching, staring at James with his stormy grey eyes, his pupils blown wide, and his warm breath against James’s mouth like they were still kissing.
“Sirius,” James breathes.
“Yeah?” Sirius says, and he’s so close that his lashes are brushing against James’s skin.
“Will you go to Hogsmeade with me? As a date?”
Sirius obliges him with another kiss.
James smiles.