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Jake had almost cried at hearing you say you love him too. His face had split into the biggest, and yet softest, smile you think you’d ever seen grace his beautiful face. You were still trembling with nerves and unsurety, these feeling all new territory for you. But you knew your words were true. You did love Jake.
It was just possible a part of you loved Rooster too.
But Jake hadn’t let you dwell on it too long before he was quickly crashing his lips against yours again, smiling stupidly into the kiss the whole time until you couldn’t help but return the same giddy smile. You’d kissed and kissed. Your kisses eventually resulted in the two of you making love again; Jake taking all measures to make you feel pure bliss over and over again until your body simply could not take anymore.
He’d then been just as sweet and tender with his after care. He kissed every inch of your body, massaging your sore legs and hips gently with his incredible hands. He’d coaxed you into the shower whilst he changed the sheets and remade the bed, ever the military man. When you got out the shower, he’d been waiting with a shirt of his for you to wear, one of his Top Gun ones that had ‘Seresin’ printed over the left breast with the Top Gun logo, ‘Hangman’ was printed in bold letters on the back. He shrugs it over your head and pulls it down onto your body, kissing you again softly.
The two of you had seemed to settle into this easy kind of domestic bliss. You suppose it felt easy, felt right, because this was close to your usual routine with him. It wasn’t unusual for you and Jake to spend time together even after your ‘friends-with-benefits’ sessions. There was never a rush for either of you to leave immediately afterwards. You’d even ended up spending the whole night together a handful of times before.
And even though now it was different, now that this situation was weighted with ‘I love you’ in the middle, it just felt right. It was different, but it wasn’t. It was as if this was what you had always meant to be.
He places another kiss to your lips, another one to your forehead, before he murmurs that he’s gonna go have a shower himself. Once he’s in the bathroom you let the giddy smile split your face again, your insides warm and fuzzy from how content you were. You didn’t think anything could break your little reverie. Not as you climb into the fresh sheets of the bed, that still smelled like Jake despite being new. You snuggle under the duvet and bury your face into the neck of his shirt, tucking your chin against your chest, smelling his comforting smell. It was earthy and deep, and yet light with a crisp freshness; you’d always loved his smell. You sigh contently before you reach to grab your phone, which you’d put on the bedside table earlier.
Immediately your heart drops.
You’d forgotten you’d turned off your notifications before you came here.
And now you were staring at six missed calls.
One voicemail.
All from Bradley.
Your breath hitches in your throat as you feel unwelcome tears sting the back of your eyes. Your gaze shifts over to the bathroom where Jake was still showering. Guilt spreads through your chest as you feel your heart torn in two again.
You swallow and let out a shaky breath as you look back towards the bathroom, confirming that Jake was still in the shower. You click on the voicemail with a trembling thumb and bring the phone up to your ear.
The background noise is loud. Lots of chatter and music, the sound of glasses clinking. It wouldn’t take an expert to work out that Rooster had gone to a bar. And that he was probably drunk.
Your suspicions are confirmed when you hear the slur in his voice.
“Y/n, y/n please,” he drawls.
He sounds breathless, his voice strained.
“Please answer me. You have to pick up. You need to pick up. I have to- I need to talk to you. I need to fix this. I need to fix this. I need-“ he breaks off with a shuddering breath, as if he was trying to steady himself.
“I’m sorry,” he carries on with his ramble. “I was out of line earlier. I was being a dick. I shouldn’t have said what I said,” he takes another breath, and you can tell he’s really struggling with what he’s trying to say.
He’s on the precipice of opening up, the alcohol and the emotions in his system working to force all his internal thoughts and feelings finally to the surface.
“That kiss earlier…” he starts tentatively, his voice soft and broken with the memory. “That kiss… it was something… It was everything. And it terrified me.”
Your eyes squeeze shut for a second as a tear rolls down your cheek.
“I got scared and I lashed out. I thought it was better to push you away than to think about what that kiss might’ve meant. I was dumb and trying to keep you at a distance, so I didn’t have to confront how I really feel. I didn’t want either of us to get hurt but I’ve fucked up. I hurt you anyway. I know you’re hurting. And, shit, now I’m hurting too,” you think you can hear a sob in his voice, and it hurts your heart.
“I- I just- I don’t want to lose you. I screwed up. I screwed up. I know I screwed up. But, fuck, I don’t think I can keep going on like this either. I- I just- I think…”
Jake rounds the corner, finished showering, looking at you with a gentle smile just as you hear Bradley’s final line on the voicemail;
“I think I might love you, y/n…”