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Nokto found out now that he liked the feeling of being enveloped entirely, by something - someone warm. Squeezed by the warmth of a larger human body. When was the last time he had felt this way? Feeling great to feel… a bit smaller.
And this bastard seemed to have found him out somehow. Nokto doesn't know where he had made the mistake. Perhaps he relaxed too easily in Adam's embrace once. Perhaps he'd done something in his sleep once. Adam is a light sleeper, who knows what he'd seen of him in the early hours of the morning. This has always been a bad idea, isn't it.
These days he doesn't mind anymore. However, tonight, he couldn't take it.
Just the light pressure of his body against Adam's chest crashes everything out of him. Nokto didn't even realise that he's on the verge of tears. He'd never got to this point, even on his worse days. And this is only over a- a what? A remark? About his twin?
He felt stupid. Utterly childish. Adam was only tapping his shoulder lightly, and Nokto was glad of his overall awkwardness. He doesn't speak much, doesn't try to help things. Ignore Nokto where it matters.
"Alright, your Highness. Should you walk outside for a few?" He pulled back a bit so he could peek at Nokto's face. Couldn't see much under his bangs. "Should I… tell them we're leaving?"
Nokto didn't answer.
"Should I leave you alone here?"
Finally they made eye contact. Nokto debated whether or not it'd be better if he was left alone.
In the end he couldn't answer either. And Adam took it as a no.
"Alright then." He leaned forward for another brief embrace. Nokto heard him close to his ear. "I'm sorry I couldn't help."
Just right then, Nokto ached a bit more, and he couldn't stop the sob slipping past his breath, and the tears that followed. His body choked it all out of him now. The more he held it in the louder his inhale was.
Adam went rigid. As if in the middle of pulling back or hugging him tighter. Nokto is tired of it now. He grabbed Adam's waist to keep him closer. He was aware of how weak he seemed now. Hiding away in the dark, being held while he cried, because someone called him names. Like a man baby.
Nokto laughed because he was perfectly aware of this, but still couldn't stop crying. He pulled back so as to not put snot all over Adam's shoulder.
As he wiped his face quickly they eyes met, and Adam had a few tears of his own.
"Are you crying too?" Nokto winced at how shaky his voice sounded. Even though things had turned a bit amusing.
Adam widened his eyes and quickly dried his eyes with the side of his thumb. "Yeah, I, get affected easily."
"You cry when you see someone else crying?"
Nokto can't tell if it's because Adam had just cried or if it's because he was embarrassed, but there was that cute red tint blooming on his face. He shook his head.
"I'm just very hopeless at consoling people, aren't I."
"Aww, noo," Nokto cooed while he wiped wet streaks down Adam's cheeks, "Now I can't cry anymore because you're so cute."
"Stop that. God, thought I could catch a break from you."
He's so cute. Nokto didn't think he could find someone like this so very cute. Let him keep this man for good. Keep him in the Palace forever. So Nokto could wake up having him just, be there. Who cares what the others think or see or hear. He doesn't know who else could make him enthusiastic about the next day as much as Adam.
Hey, what's wrong with him?
Heightened emotions mix feelings up into a horrible mess and vomit it all over the floor. And Adam happened to be in the direction. It's unhealthy to hold this much for a person you know you wouldn't… have forever.
Suddenly his chest ached again. He supposed… one day, they'd have to keep out of each other for good, or things will get ugly.
Nokto doesn't deserve nice things. That's been the course of things for a while.
"What are you thinking about?"
Adam broke his thoughts apart. He looked like his normal self again, blank, curious, serious. Staring sharply with his dark eyes, juxtaposed with the tenderness in his voice.
"We should go back."
"Are you done crying, then? From the sounds of it, they're still in the middle of the dance."
Nokto sighed. "Yeah I'm done crying. I shouldn't have broken into one in the first place." He uselessly tried to rub dry the wet spot on Adam's shoulder. "Quite a show of my age, huh?"
"Sometimes it had to be done. The crying, I mean. And what he said was out of line." He patted Nokto's back firmly, and it often does make him feel grounded. "I can tell that this is all making you exhausted."
The many things this guy could do.
Nokto wondered now. Does Adam also have his moments? Someone like him must have (someone that cries on other person's behalf….) But he still hides it somehow. Or he let it all out during… well. During their nights.
Perhaps Nokto has been a part of this since a while after all.
"I'd you want to get drunk I'll join you," Adam said.
"No. I'll get even worse." Nokto laughed. "Let's get this over with and leave this place. You and I." "Then we could stop somewhere."