Chapter Text
Mike pov
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Honestly, I didn't expect most of the vamp kids to either change cliques or move away. But here I am, a senior in high school and all alone for lunch. The only vamp kid left in South Park, and maybe the world. I tried to talk to some people at lunch, but none of them seemed interested to make a new friend.
I wish I could be more like the goth group. Even though they're never really alone, I think they'd handle being alone far better than me per se. I also have stopped saying that reccently, but I guess I've slipped back into old habits. I don't even know where the goths hang out at our school, I've seen them in class occssionally but never at lunch or anything.
I've been sitting in my empty english classroom, just thinking about I should go sit at lunch. I leave the room, the sadness starts to get overwhelming. I look around, I guess I could go sit in the bathroom... I feel like I'm about to cry though, and I don't really want anyone to hear me. I see the fire door, and go out behind the school. If I'm gonna cry, I'm going do it where it can't damage my reputation. I need all the help I can get.
I just start walking, I've never been out here before. I'm just gonna get far enough away from the door. I look around and make sure no ones around. I would slide down the wall like in a movie, but this jacket was $100. I carefully take it off, tears starting to stream down my face. I fold it neatly, and put it in my bag. I watch my tears start hitting the asphalt. If I were prone to poetry, I think I would be able to see the beauty in this. Instead i just feel despair. My t shirt underneath, as played out as it is. Is my Twilight shirt. I'm not even really a fan anymore, I just wanted some comfort. The last vamp kid Vladmir moved yesterday, and he hasn't replied to my goodbye message.
I slowly lower myself to the ground, in a crouch position. I would prefer only to dirty my pride, and not my pants. God why did I even come to school today. I bury my head between my knees. Audibly sobbing now, I try not to judge myself for crying, but I just wish it wasn't at school.
"Oh my god." "What are you doing here Fagula?" I hear a familiar woman say. "What a nazi conformist, I bet he knew this is where we come to hide out. And he came here to hide out, so now he's an even bigger conformist than those football players." "Oh my god, he's totally crying." I hear Pete say in that exasperated tone he always has. "I bet he's crying because he missed the conformist cheerleader tryouts." The ground at my feet gets darker, someones standing over me. I try to get all my tears out and wipe them away, it doesn't work. "Well, not that we care, but why are you crying?" Pete asks, standing over me.
I try to sound composed, "well... As you know I am a vamp kid, and the last of my friends. Vladmir, moved yesterday. And now I have no one, besides some 28 year old who only really wants to drink and party with women at his apartment. I just really want friends, like what you all have. I'm all alone in the world, and I'm a senior in high school." I held it together, until the end. Where i let out a loud sob. I wish the earth would swallow me right now. Honestly I always thought the goths were cool after our adventure, and once i got over the whole being tied up in a trunk.
I hear a lighter flick, then two more. I feel as though the goth council is deciding my fate. I guess techinically I have one friend, but I want one my age. I hear a mumbled "we don't want another Stan." And that's all I can make out. I still quietly cry, but I manage to control myself.
Once I feel myself done crying, I stand up shakily. I lean against the wall, and try to look casual for someone who just sobbed in front of three strangers / prior kidnappers. "I know we haven't always gotten along. But I really needed somewhere to go, I honestly had no idea this was your spot. I just didn't want all the conformists to see me crying." I hope calling those preppy kids conformists will give me some goth points. I do expect Firkle to tell me to leave, but when I look over at all of them I see pity on most of their faces. Not firkle, he looks irritated.
I start walking away, when Firkle speaks up "you're really gonna go be a conformist like that? Just when we were gonna let you hang out and smoke with us?" I feel myself smile, and turn around. Judging by their reactions, they don't really know what to do. But it seem like they kind of want me here. Or just don't want me to leave yet. Either works.
"I just didn't want to intrude per se- shit sorry I usually don't say that anymore." Pete laughs and flips his thick hair. Honestly if he doesn't have neck pain I'd be amazed. "You're fine dude, we're more chill than we used to be. Besides Firkle." Henrietta sounds different, nicer? Or like 10 years of smoking has finally caught up to her. I look over at Firkle, as he pulls out a butterfly knife and starts spinning it around.
"So you really have an adult friend, that invites you to drink and party with him? And you don't?" Pete asks, very confused. "Um yeah, I don't really smoke or drink much. Maybe I woukd if I knew people, but when it's just one guy and like a bunch of random hot women it's kind of awkward." I laugh, and pete looks at me puzzled. I look over at him, and watch him take a drag. He holds it for a long time, just staring at me. I'm honestly feeling pretty pressured. I look at henrietta, trying to think of a question. Pete suddenly speaks up "What's up with your teeth dude? I thought you stopped wearing those plastic fangs after elementary."
I open my mouth, and let them all look at my pearly whites. Firkle gasps "maybe you aren't a conformist," and henrietta says "wow. Just wow." I run my pierced tongue over my pointed teeth. "Well, I got my tongue pierced for my birthday. And I asked the dentist if I could get fang fillings, instead of filling the tooth down. I wanted to get that, to celebrate going into senior year with my clique. But, that didn't work out. I still think they're really cool though. They're actually super sharp."
Firkle blurts out "I hope you're not gay." And busts out laughing. I feel my face redden, "oh shit" I mumble. Pete and henrietta start laughing, and I join in. "Well I'm bi actually. But I wish I thought about that. They can be drilled off though." I notice Pete's eyes widen, I don't know why I'm staring at him.
Henrietta after finally catching her breath says "nice twilight shirt, how does that still fit?" I roll my eyes "well actually after 15 I stopped growing, and I bought this shirt at 14, and can still fit in it. It's not from elementary school." Pete flips his hair, "nice. Most people care too nuch about height." His tone makes it immpossible to discern whether he's serious or sarcastic. Somehow puberty has just made it worse. "Well that's easy for you to say. You're like a giant." He rolls his eyes, "I guess if you're 5'7, yeah. 6'3 is way too tall though, but at least it's not a conformist average height." I blush, he guessed my height exactly.
Firkle speaks up "hey well, I guess I'm lucky then. I'm the most non-conformist there is. " He's probably only an inch or two shorter than me. He throws his cigarette at the building after he talks. I walk over and stomp it then pick it up. "Well no matter how non-conformist we are, we shouldn't litter." "Thanks captain planet douchebag." I look back at Pete as he rolls his eyes after his comment. I laugh a bit, "so I'm Captain Planet Doucebag, and Count Fagula. I'd say I'm basically invincible." The group laughs. Honestly they've mellowed out since elementary, which is shocking since puberty is supposed to make us more on edge and Firkle is right in the middle of it. Well he's still edgy.
Pete awkwardly ashes his cigarette on the building, and i watch him shove it in his pocket. God I haven't been close to him in years. He's actually fucking gigantic. I run over to a dumpster and toss the cigarette butt in it. I need to wash my hands before touching my jacket. I notice them talking before I come back, and then Pete shoves his phone at me. "Here add your number." I hope they're not just being nice because of my crying. But I won't look a gift horse in the mouth. I type it in, and ask "hey can you give my number to Henrietta and Firkle? I gotta go wash my hands so I can put on my jacket." He chuckles at that, yeah sure. Wouldn't want you being late for class Vampy Boy." I blush and run away at that. I wave behind my back though, i feel like an anime schoolgirl. Maybe I am a conformist.
Pete's pov
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Why did puberty have to make Mike hot? And into guys? I walk over a bit dazed to my friends. I expect them to ask where he went but instead. "I bet you don't know whether you want those fangs on your dick or not gay boy." Firkle says, I usually would pretend to act annoyed but he hit the nail right on the head. I sigh "is it that obvious?" I know to an outsider my tone just sounds constant, but my childhood friends know me. "Oh my god." "He's literally gonna bite your dick off!"
While trying not to think about what he's implying, I feel myself mumble "goths are supposed to embrace pain." Henrietta's mouth opens wide, "oh my god. You're getting your first crush? And he's bi?" She starts to act like a fricken cheerleader, she's kinda bouncing a bit. Usually Firkle would say something edgy, but hes kinda fidgeting on his feet as well. They both look stupid. "Oh god, I just talked to him for the first time in years. You both are acting like conformists right now." "Whatever, it's a big deal man. You have a shot, and he's pretty cute." "Yeah and you can't stop thinking about him biting your dick!" Firkle shouts, loud enough to make me look behind me.
Luckily no one is there. "God we literally met him and he was crying. Yeah he's cute. But we literally kidnapped him, and FedEx'ed him. Yeah he didn't leave the post office, but he didn't come into school for awhile after that. I've always kinda felt guilty for that. And now, he's taller, prettier, has those light green eyes, high cheekbones, and a tongue piercing. And needs friends. Right now, I only wanna be his friend. If he can even forgive me for all of that." I'll send them his number later, I think I need some air. And I don't care about skipping class.
"He's got it bad." "He's the conformist. Hey cheerleader! Go have your vampire boyfriend suck your blood, and you better be nicer after you get some!" Firkle is too much sometimes, I love him though. I just flip him off behind my back.
God I don't know what to do, I'm just gonna skip. Should I text him right now, or wait? I definitely want to apologize in person. Ugh I shouldn't have just walked away. Henrietta actually would've had good advice. They were totally being conformists though. So I don't regret calling them out.
As I wander this desolate parking lot, almost empty besides a couple cars and swirling oil. I think about hiw much my life had just changed, I hadn't been this close to Vampyr or Mike in years. I had no idea that he became pretty. My plan was to wait until the day before graduation, apologize sincerely to him and then never see him agsin. His raven black hair looked like it would be as soft as feathers. God, I do have it bad.
My eyes look up from the cracked asphalt, I look at my black car, my baby. I park it far away, because Firkle used to practice lockpicking on it. Ugh, why did I have to walk away so fast. Whatever, with Firkle there I probably would've been too embarassed to ask for advice anyways.
Actually, Micheal might be able to help me. He should be getting off work in a couple hours. I guess I can just drive around.
South park is a disgusting town, with nothing to do. The mall is fine, I guess, I could go there. But then I'm gonna be thinking about the Hot Topic. Ugh.
I can't believe I grew so much taller than him, I knew I was taller. But not to this extent. I wonder what 28 year old he knows. Honestly at first we just hung out for him because we felt bad, and I was secretly hoping we could get some alcohol from that guy he mentioned. But after laughing with him, and how honest he was. I really do want to be at least his friend. Maybe more. Even if his fangs pierce my skin, I'd enjoy the pain if it were from him.
I can't keep thinking of him, I wish I knew what to say. Maybe "Hey, you're not so bad. Even though I called you Captain Planet Douchebag." Ugh god, stupid rhyming brain. That's totally trying too hard. Whatever I'm at Micheal's house. I get out of my car and start smoking next to it. I try not to smoke in it, since I paid for it.
Ugh, his little body all crumpled up at my feet. Seeing him like that was so sad, I mean I think it's immpressive he didn't try to act like he wasn't crying or hide it. Honestly even if the others hadn't wanted to be his friend, I was still going to hang out with him. I just thought of it as my chance to finally do the right thing with him.
I wonder how far he's gone with a guy. I've never even kissed anyone. I shouldn't be thinking about this. The solitary black car parked on a street, with a goth smoking beside it's seat. Lovestruck fool never felt this way before, but sometimes fate will open up a door. Red and black, opposite to red and green. Maybe they can find a beautiful shade in between.
Oh my god, the one time I wish I didn't think with rhymes. I'm better with my real poetry, but I just have a habit of thinking this way. It's totally non-conformist. Stupid Firkle what does he know.
"Hey, don't you have school?" I jump, startled by Micheal's sudden interruption. He raises an eyebrow at it, I'm never jumpy. "Well I just was done after lunch." He pauses and looks at me. "Henrietta said you saw a familar face today." Oh my god. Of course she's gonna go snitch. "Freakin conformist! God yeah I did run into someone, that vampire kid we tried to ship somewhere! And he's bi, and cute. And he wants friends. I want to be his friend, but I don't know how to text him. I usually only text you guys..." We just stare at each other. "Wow, she was right you are totally gay for him." "Oh my god, she told you?" "She left a minute long voicemail, "oh my god, his first crush. And he's bi so he totally has a chance. They'd be so cute together. I think we pushed too hard. He might be coming over." He mimics her voice pretty well actually. Shit thats so embarassing.
I pull out my cigarettes, he knocks his cane against my leg. "Hey remember how against those he was in elementary? Sometimes if you like someone you gotta make sacrificed." "Why did you say like that way?" "Because you're so into him. I think you should cut back smoking too." "You hypocrite! You smoke as much as I do. Also stop talking like a cheerleader." He rolls his eyes and smiles "I'm trying to quit smartass. And okay, let's think about what you're gonna say to him." Huh I didn't know he was trying to quit.
Mike's pov
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Honestly ever since hanging out with the goths, I've felt a lot lighter. I have hope! I think I'll get my cheesy teen movie friendship dreams after all.
I felt so scared when I realized who it was out there. I've kinda moved on since Elementary, but seeing Pete actually didn't make me think of the whole fedex incident that much. I was more thinking about the sobbing. I was kind of scared, but we've all changed since elementary I guess. I did need to go to therapy for a year after the incident, and I have come to terms with it. I just, never expected him to be so handsome. And at the end of our hanging out, I was having actual fun!
It's last period. About 30 minutes until schools out, and two hours after hanging out with the goth kids. I feel my phone buzz, Vladmir? I check right away.
Unknown number:
"Hey, it's Pete. The goth one. I usually take Henrietta and Firkle home after school. Do you want me to pick you up too? Also if you want to start hanging out with us at lunch everyday, I'd like that. 🖤 Pete."
Aw, he's cute 'the goth one.' Thats what I'll save him as. I text back "Sounds great, where do you wanna meet after school?"
These last 30 minutes pass by so slowy, while the rest of the day after lunch went so fast. I jump out of my seat when the bell goes, and run out the door.
Oh shit I need to check my phone first. I whip it out, and check what he said. "Black car right outside the entrance."
I go out the front doors and I see it, I decide to sit in the back. Since he usually picks up his best friends. "I feel like I'm getting the VIP treatment." I say with a laugh. "You are, now I'm gonna park and wait for those jizzrags." He seemed early to pick me up, I ask "did you cut classes?"
"Uh yeah, I cut classes. Have you never skipped?" "Oh no I haven't. I don't know what I'd really do. I don't have a car." I look over at him. "Maybe we could skip sometime, and do something." His voice changes a little "and do what?" I think for a second, "well it's getting warmer now. Maybe we could go to the lake, on a cloudy day and just swim around and float on pool toys. Or maybe go have a picnic?" God those are probably the lamest suggestions, I know he at least smokes cigarettes and skips school. He probably real edgy things.
I watch his face, and it tinges pink. "That sounds really nice actually, I'd like that. Totally non-conformist." He looks at me and smiles. I smile back and for a second it feels like it's just us in the world. Then the other back door opens. "You nazi cheerleader! You're real lucky you picked me up, or I was gonna rat-" he stops and looks at me, he looks kinda shocked. "You out to your vampire boyfriend." "Wait rat what out to me?" I ask confused. "That... He skipped school!" He exclaims and points at Pete. He puts his hands over his head, and smirks. "Guilty as charged."
Honestly that was kinda hot, "well I'm glad you told me the truth about my goth boyfriend. It turns out he is a conformist after all. Skipping school like every other teenager." I let out a big sigh. "You're brave for bringing this to my attention." "Wow boyfriends for real? You move fast Pete."
Huh? "Oh no I was going along with your joke. Isn't he straight?" I ask. Pete looks back at me, kinda red in the face "i'm actually gay." I smile, and my fangs press into my bottom lip. So I have to open my mouth a little. "Well that's awesome! I felt kinda lonely being the only guy who likes guys at school. Besides Tweek and Craig." Firkle butts in "Well actually, Ike told me Kenny's into like everyone. Henreitta is bi, apparently Bebe is gay and she's in your grade. I mean I'm not gay... But the cheerleaders that bully me always call me a fag. " He bangs his head against Pete's seat.
I pat him on the back lightly. "Maybe you should tell the teacher?" "Oh yeah and be a pussy and conformist. No I'm fine getting bullied... Thanks! So helpful." His voice dripping with sarcasm when he says thanks. I guess thats a sore subject. I guess I'm lucky, I was popular before becoming a vamp. So none of the other bullies really bullied me, since we used to be friends. Well I guess these people used to bully me though...
///. I'm actually glad to meet a gay guy. I just shouldn't get my hopes up, he is the only guy that's into guys that I know. But there's over a half a foot height difference between us. Maybe that's what people mean by "out of my league". I mean I'm kind of attractive, but I'm kinda short. ///
"Where's Henrietta?" Pete asks the car. I shrug. "There she is." Firkle points out the window. She opens the door and gets in. "Hey losers, and loser dracula." It feels nice to be included.
"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I have vampire teeth now." She snorts "what does that even mean?" "Um- It means mess with the vampire and get the bite." I say after pausing for a little. I then bare my teeth at Firkle who's looking out the window but Pete looks back. "Well hopefully you don't have rabies. Thats only for conformists and dogs." Pete smirks at me.
"I do think it's cool though Dracula that you got real fangs." Henrietta says, playing on her phone. "You know just because I'm bi doesn't mean you can't call me count fagula. If it's just us I don't mind. I just don't want the conformists to call me that." "Oh okay good, Count Fagula. Just know I would call any vampire person count fagula, especially in 2022. Twilight was released in 2009. So you're late to the party." "I've been partying this whole time per se. My stepdad made me wait until I was 18 to get real fangs. Or I would've been fang fucking all you posers."
"Oh my god what does that even mean? You're calling me a poser? I thought we just bonded over liking dudes?" "Oh my god he is gonna cut you with his teeth Pete!!" Firkle exclaims, seeming to have more energy now. After that he pauses to think, "Well Vampyr, I'll bite back." I blush and look at my hands, oh god no one has ever flirted with me before. Is this flirting? What should I say? "I think I'd like that." There's a pause and I'm worried I said the wrong thing.
"Oh my god you gays are so cute. You should go on a date to the football game, since Pete's a nazi cheerleader now." Firkle says that all in an even tone, not emphasizing anything. I raise my eyebrows at him "why's he a cheerleader?" "He's just changed man. He was always a bitch, but today he was a bitch and a poser. You should ask him about it while holding hands and taking a long walk in 'pussy forest'."
"Okay Firkle you're getting dropped off first. Since you're being a little shit." Pete sighs and flips his hair. "Oh my god you just can't handle the truth! You're lucky I dont cut you. I used to think you'd like it if I did, so I didnt. But now you're a cheerleader and I bet you'd hate it."
"I don't want you to cut me Firkle, but it's not because I'm a cheerleader-" Firkle interupts "Oh yeah! Exactly what the Justin Bieber wannabe would say. 'Oh Firkle I don't want to be cut. I want all the blood in my body, for myself. Because I'm selfish, and I don't want an infection. Ugh conformist. I bet you'd like it if Mike cut you, you freak." "I think those are both valid reasons why, and the biggest is he shouldn't have to get injured for being a cheerleader." I say cheerleader with emphasis, since I don't think Pete's a cheerleader. Even though he'd look super cute in the outfit.
"Oh yeah of course you'd say that Mike. 'Oh I'm a vampire, I even got my teeth sharpened. But I'm a bitch poser cheerleader. I don't want to smoke cigarettes or litter. Or get cut by a knife." "Yes exactly Firkle." Am I the only sane one here? The guy with vampire teeth fillings? "Hey stop ripping on Mike, he's literally so non comformist he has vampire teeth. Firkle I'm sorry you're not gay, but don't take it out on real fags. We're here. Get out." Pete looks back, and glares at Firkle.
Firkle opens his door, getting out immediatley. I think hes about to leave it at tha, "God whatever. That's so not why I'm mad." He groans and slams the car door. He slouches so much on his walk to the front door, he opens it and slams that door too.
We sit in silence for a moment, I wish I could see the looks on their faces to judge if this was a normal occurence or not. I cough purposely, "so, he's not like that usually right?" Henrietta sighs, "well not usually. Sometimes he gets in these bitch moods though. Puberty I guess. Sorry he was rude, I know he did like hanging out with you earlier. I don't know what crawled up his ass and died though. He should be in a better mood tomorrow."
Pete turns around and looks at me, "hey I'm sorry about that. Honestly I don't mind him ripping on me, I've known him so long. But that was pretty bad behavior in front of you and to you." "You kinda sound like his Dad. Honestly it wasn't that bad. I had fun today. A bitch poser cheerleader is a new insult." They both laugh. God I hope I didn't act like that at his age.
We ride in silence until we're at Henrietta's house. "Here dork, put your number in my phone. We can chat about darkness and cute guys and girls." I giggle, and accept her phone.
I hand it back, putting my name as "count fagula". She laughs and says "I had a good time today, we should do it again tomorrow Mike." I smile and nod, "I'd like that." I wave bye as she leaves. We wait for her to get into her house. "Hey you can come up here if you want." He says kindly, it's different than his usual expressionless voice. I open the door and get into the front. I smile at him as I sit down.
He looks down at his hands for a second. Then back up at me, a vulnerable look in his eyes, the rest of his face still impassive. I see some acne scars on his cheeks being this close to him, honestly he looks good for someone that has smoked everyday since 9 years old. "I just, really wanted to apologize. I've wanted to for awhile, but planned to wait until the last day of school. I really regret putting you in that box and trying to ship you. I am so sorry. And I'm sorry for tying you up and kidnapping you. And for being rude to you. I'm sorry I burned down the hot topic too. But mostly sorry about the torture part. I don't know why I did that at 10 years old. And I hope in time you can forgive me, and try to trust me."
His face expressed so much during that, for the first time I've known him. He actually looked upset and deeply remorseful. He looks up at me, finally looking away from his hands. With those big vulnerable hazel eyes. His eyes look wet, and he blinks quickly. "I'm just so sorry. I've never done anything like that since, and have tried my best to be a good goth since then." "I accept your apology, I've worked hard to overcome that. I honestly think I'll be able to forgive you. I can tell you really mean it." I pause and think if I should say something else, but I want to be genuine. He looks at me hopeful, with a small smile. "Thank you. Thank you so much Mike. I really want to be your friend."
"I think we already are friends. At least you're my friend." His face bursts into a smile bright enough to blind me. God he's hot. "You're my friend too." He says beaming. I reach my hand out to his and squeeze it. He leans over and claps his hand lightly on my back, the bro hug. "Is this okay friend?" "Yep" I squeak out.
After a moment he lets go, "I'm going to talk to Firkle first thing at lunch tomorrow. And then we can all hang out again, if you want." His voice is back to his usual raspy monotone, I think it's quite endearing though.
Pete's pov
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Ugh, I'm laying in bed like a total conformist. My head on the pillow, and my elbow bent covering my eyes. In the same arm, my phones unlocked with Mike's contact on the screen. It feels nice to act like I'm in a conformist anime scene.
It felt right to apologize, and I totally understand him not forgiving me. I just can't get him out of my head for some reason. It's like when I was 14 and constantly thinking about Gerard Way again.
Ugh what should I even say to him? 'My heart is black as coal, but when I'm with you it feels full. Hapiness dies, except when I'm with you. I wish this hapiness would last evermore.' I'll write it down in my journal, but I don't think that's what he should hear right now. I don't wanna give him stockholm syndrome or whatever.
After writing some poems in my journal I feel better. I'm being a whiny little emo right now, so not goth. Ugh. I roll my eyes. I should just go to bed. Like always, laying awake for hours. Unblinking eyes, staring holes into my ceiling. The only comfort comes from knowing the pale white moon is somewhere above me. Even if I can't see it. Except now I'm also comforted, knowing the boy with the vampire teeth, is somewhere under the same sky as I ///or me///.
I whip out my phone really fast, and click message. 'Hey, goodnight 🌙' and send it before I have time to think. I act like usual and just go lay down, but I know if he doesn't reply I'll be awake even later than my usual.
I hesr a buzz next to my bed, and move faster than I thought my nicotine ladened corpse could handle. "Goodnight!🧛🏻" Oh my god he's so cute. I lay back down, and feel myself smiling.
I wake up exhausted. I stayed up too late, thinking about Mike. I just feel weird about him. In a good way? Ugh I need coffee. I roll out of bed, and make myself a pot. I go grab my bag and get my cigarettes out. By the time I'm done smoking, the coffee is finished. My morning ritual. I pull out my phone, somehow I've refrained from checking it until now.
7:50. Oh shit. School starts in ten minutes. Wait, why do I even care? Yeah I'm the goth teens ride, but I'm usually late or just skip entirely. I guess I'm just excited to see Mike. I text the group chat "I just got up, I'm leaving the house in 20." I get a text from Firkle with a bunch of angry and weird emojis. And a thumbs up from Henrietta. Micheal says 'wow you're in a rush today.' I roll my eyes and ash my cigarette, not throwing it with the rest.
I chug my burning coffee, after adding some sugar to it. If I'm going to be in pain at least I'll enjoy it. I rush upstairs, get my nicest button down and wear black slacks today. I throw on some shiny shoes, and style my hair fast. I put on some concealer, like always. I have acne scars, I've had pockmarks for a long time and puberty made me get more. I don't hate them, at least I stand out. But I do like to make them blend a little better. I do my eyeliner, and unlike usual I want to put lip gloss on. It's a dark red, and I've never worn it to school. I apply it, and slip the gloss into my pocket.
I run out my room, check my phone and it's 8:15. I don't even know why I'm hurrying. Mike and I have no classes together. I guess it's just exciting that I could see him in the hall at 8:50. And maybe I can get the Firkle talk out of the way before lunch.
I'm at Firkle's house first, his house ia actually closer to me than Henrietta's. We usually hang out at his house for band practice. I hope he's decided to stop being a bitch today. I message him and expect to wait ten minutes, like always.
He comes out a minute after the text, which kinda shocks me. He literally never comes out of his house that fast. Even for my birthday when we were gonna go to the movies, he took 5 minutes. He walks slowly and while slouched over, he looks even more depressed than usual. He opens the front door and basically throws himself into the seat. His makeup isn't done and he looks like he's been crying.
I wanted to tell him he needs to apologize, but not anymore. "Hey, what's wrong?" He looks over at me one eye i can't see through his hair. "I think I'm a fag." And bursts into tears, i reach over and start stroking his back. "There's no reason to cry. Firkle, if you are gay, I support you. I'm really glad you told me. Is that why you were kinda rude to Mike yesterday?" He manages to stop crying pretty quickly, and rubs his face really hard.
"Yesterday was the worst the bullies have been, I don't wanna talk about it. But, I think I've supressed the thought of this for so long, because I didn't want to prove them right. I already feel bad enough that my only two friends are leaving next year, but now I have to worry about Mike taking you away too." I'm still petting his back, I haven't heard him talk about any of this stuff before now.
"Hey, we may be graduating. But we're always gonna be friends. And how about you try to make a friend in your grade? And Mike will never take me away from you. You're like my little brother, I love you. I really wish you talked to me about all of this. I could fuck those bullies up for you." I feel awful, I really should've realized he's been having such a hard time. I thought the bullies just called him names, which is still shitty but I think more's going on.
He starts crying again really quietly, not saying anything. I text Henrietta and tell her we're gonna be late. I just keep petting his back and telling him it'll be okay.
After about 20 minutes he agrees to let me know who the bullies are. I mean I used to never exercise, but since I was 15 I've been exercising pretty often. I started doing it because I was bullied, after my growth spurt though they've left me alone. I've continued since it's a good way to clear the mind.
"Hey, I think you should apologize to Mike. You can tell him whatever you want, but you shouldn't call him names." "Yeah whatever. I will at lunch." "Do you wanna go put your makeup on? Or are you gonna skip?" "I have it in my bag, I wanted to just stay in your car at school until I'm done. Could I leave my bag in here today?" "Yeah I don't mind."
We sit in silence for most of the drive to Henrietta's. When we're outside her house I say something though, "Please talk to us next time you're going through something. I know it's goth to suffer in silence, but it really eats at you when you keep all this shit bottled up. We're all your friends, and I'm always here for you. I'm always here to talk to you Firkle." I try to put more emotion into my voice, I want him to know I'm serious. "Okay, I guess. This was hard though. And later I have to tell Henrietta I'm gay too."
He looks out the window. "Well have you been drawing or writing these feelings?" "Oh my god, stop being so gay-" "I can't bro." He laughs, which I'm happy to hear. I don't know if it's because I'm funny or since I said bro. "Yeah I've been drawing. Broooo. Maybe now that I'm gay I'll start drawing guys fucking demons like that Lil Nas X video." "Yeah that was my favorite part of the video, where he fucked satan in the ass." I say getting back to my usual monotone.
Henrietta finally comes out of her house in a couple of minutes. God damn, I guess at least I'll make it in time for lunch. She opens the door and sits in the back. "Are you still being a bitch Firkle?" "I'm certainly trying my best. Sorry I was a mega bitch yesterday though. Can we talk later?" "Yeah..?" I get why she's confused, he never asks to talk.
We don't usually just chit chat, we're all fine with silence. But this ride we all make stupid little conformist small talk. I brag about being able to bench more, and Henrietta tells us she has enough poems to fill a book now. Firkle sits in silence mostly, occasionally answering yes or no.
I hope we can go back to normal soon. This feels weird, maybe I am becoming a cheerleader.
Mike's pov
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It's almost lunch time! I'm excited to see the goths, not Firkle though. I watch the clock as the bell rings, my bag already in hand. I rush out the door, and I get out the back before everyone else.
I kinda get why the goths smoke, it's kinda awkward to just stand here by myself. I guess I can play on my phone a bit. I whip it out, and notice a couple of texts. 'Hey, Firkle won't be with us today. We also might be five minutes late.' 'Sorry :(' Damn.
I guess I'm kinda happy not to see the little guy, but I wonder if somethings wrong. I start kicking rocks back here. I miss tiktok, but I deleted it since I spent too much time on there. I don't really wanna go on social media and see how well everybody I was friends with is doing. I mean sure, I'm happy for them... In the sense that I just never want to see it, and thinking about it makes me very sad. I mean I text them all, maybe I should again. Whatever happened to the 'social' part of social media? I just miss my friends.
Shit now I'm thinking all emo, making myself all sad. Maybe I should download tiktok again... "Hey what're you looking all goth for? Just because you're with us now doesn't make you goth." I look up, and smile at Mike and Henrietta. "So where's Firkle?" They share a look and Henrietta shrugs. Pete answers "he's staying home today, but he should be here tomorrow." "Oh okay... Can I try a cigarette pleaae?"
Pete looks at me with his eyebrows raised "why? I thought you weren't into stuff like this." "It would look super sick with his nails though." Henrietta says taking a drag. I look down at my pale hands, it would look cool to have a cigarette with my pointy black press on nails. "Yeah I don't, I just wanted to try it once. I also kinda wanted to get a pic with you two for my instagram..." "Awww we can take a selfie without cigarettes. We might need to sit down for it. Us and Pete are practically in different time zones." "Oh my god. I'm not that fricken tall." "Honestly Mike we can smoke another day if you still want to. If this us the one cigarette you're going to smoke, it's gonna be somewhere super cool. And we can take some cool pictures of you... Or whatever, you might be busy coughing your lungs out." Pete says with a smirk.
Henrietta walks over to the curb and sits down. I walk and sit beside her, and Pete sits besides me. "Lets wait til after I finish this cig, I wanna look pretty for his instagram." Pete says, and takes a drag while making eye contact. I've been staring at him a lot, honestly who can blame me? He's just super attractive, real intimidating though. "It's nice we're on the same level now, I can actually look in your eyes." I look away after saying that. God that was kinda gay, wasn't it.
I glance back over, embarassed he hasn't said anything. He's actually looking a little red through his foundation. When he sees me looking at him he fumbles hitting his cigarette, dropping it. "Boo party foul. Well thats good I'm finished with mine." "Okay let me go toss them, then we can take the picture."
He stands up, I look over at Henrietta. "How come you started smoking?" "Well you know, I kinda hated my life. Coffee and cigarettes were a way to focus on something else. And it was the non-conformist thing to do." "Damn. I guess I just had no reason to smoke or anything. I still kinda remember that speech you all gave about how vamp kids don't do stuff thats unhealthy. And Pete called us 'douchebag boners'. I don't get why that elementary let us get away with so much."
"Oh my god, I did do that. Cartman got away with so much too. I guess he does here too. Fuck him." He laughs, and I laugh too. "Yeah that guy used to mock me for being fat. But when I told him he was fat too, I got suspended. I don't get how he does it." "You never told me that Hen, when was that?" "That was at the start of the year, it didn't bother me too much. That's probably why I didn't tell you." Pete walks back over to us.
It feels kind of awkward now. "So did you two still wanna take the picture?" I ask, trying to sound positive. "Yeah, duh." Pete while he sits down beside me so I'm in the middle. "Hand me your phone, I'll take it since my arms are the longest." I pass him my phone.
That night the pictures we took are the last thing I see before I go to sleep.
Pete pov
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I set the last picture we took as my lockscreen. Instead of looking at the camera Mike is looking at me, and Henrietta is smiling at us.
I feel a crimson blush spread across my pale face. I need to prove to him I've changed. I want to tell him, that I like him. I want him to know I'm not the person I was when we were kids. But how can I?
I guess I'll just have to prove I've changed. Sure I dress about the same, drink coffee, smoke, drink and talk shit the same. But I know I'm nicer, I just gotta prove that to him now.
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