Chapter Text
The envelope sits there, on the table by the door, unassuming. It doesn’t have Maxwell’s fancy lettering, so I know it’s not his. It’s not even for me, not directly. It’s addressed to the Wilt sisters.
I enter the small apartment I’ve been sharing with my sister and her roommate, after yet another unsuccessful day looking for a job in the freezing city. I pretend I don’t see the envelope, instead focusing on taking off my gloves, my hands numb from the cold.
Back in the Constant, I never had fear, hunger or cold. But here, I’m always freezing.
After taking my sweet time with the gloves, I intend to take off my fur coat as parsimoniously as possible, but my sister Winnie clears her throat. I look up.
There she is, smiling warmly at me, wearing an ugly sweater and holding her roommate’s hands.
“Still no offers, they want someone with more experience.” I sigh, “Listen sis, Genny, I promise I'll pay you guys these three months of due rent— three months? Has it really been that long?” I mutter, then shake those thoughts away, “I will, I just—”
I used to rule the world and now I can’t even find a job.
“Charlie,” Winona interrupts. “don’t worry about that. There's a surprise waiting for you!” Then she points to the envelope. For the Wilt sisters, not just me.
I used to be the Queen of Shadows, but I am once again Charlotte Wilt. Lil’ ole Charlie. Harmless, sweet, quiet Charlie.
I used to be feared.
But that was too long ago. Three months, exactly. Who even remembers that? Winona doesn’t. Her life continues, as if her time stuck in the Constant was just a bad dream. The only things that tie her to the Constant are her scars, and even those are fading away, thank goodness. Each scar on my sister's skin is a reminder of the evils I've done. Every single scar was my fault.
“It’s from Wilson.” Winnie says, smiling wide, and I don’t have the heart to tell her I have no idea who Wilson is, “Mr. Higgsbury, the scientist?” I shake my head, slowly, “The guy with the funky hair.” She sighs, rolling her eyes.
“Oh yeah! I—” I begin, then remember she probably doesn't wanna know that I seized the Nightmare Throne from him and beat him up "I… remember him now."
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Genny intervenes “Open it! Your sister has been waiting for you! We can’t wait to see what it is!”
I need a knife to open the envelope; carefully, I'm so fragile even a papercut could hurt me. I read the letter:
“Dr. Wilson Percival Higgsbury requests the pleasure of the company of Miss Winona Ann Wilt and Miss Charlotte Wilt for dinner and amusement with the rest of the survivors of the Constant, this Saturday, January 15th.” I look up, “That's tomorrow.”
“Yeah! Isn’t it grand? I love parties!” Winona says giddily, but I can feel my insides churning with fear.
“Winnie… There’s no way they want me there. You’ll have to take Genny as your plus one.” Her smile fades.
“Of course they want you! The invitation says so!”
“That must have been a mere courtesy.”
“I talked to Max, and he said—“
“Winona, don’t you see?” I raise my voice, shaking the paper in my hands, “it says ‘survivors’ here! Don’t you remember exactly what you were surviving? Me!”
I storm into the kitchen, pouring myself a glass of water. Half of the water pours into the counter; I’m trembling that much. I sit on the floor, trying to remain calm. Deep breaths, in and out.
It doesn’t work; I’m crying.
After a while, I hear some footsteps and Winnie sits next to me.
“No one will blame you for what happened, Charlie. Anyone in your position would have done the same. It wasn’t a matter of wickedness, but circumstance.”
“They could.” I wipe my eyes, hiding my face on my knees. “They should. I should go to prison.”
Winona snorts and playfully jabs me, “On what charges, sis?”
“I dunno, war crimes?” I say, it sounds muffled. Winona chuckles.
“War crimes. On a different dimension.” She snarks, “I doubt any jury would take that seriously.” She pokes my head. “Charlie, no one is holding you accountable. Besides, we’re all alright! Look at me! I’m here and I’m fine!”
“Which is why the kitchen is always overflowing with food and your electricity bill is sky high because now you’re scared of the dark?” I snark back, looking around. Indeed, our kitchen is always so overwhelmed with groceries, we have to eat in another room. The whole apartment is filled with fruits and vegetables that didn’t fit in the kitchen. As if someone feared one day food would be scarce. As if someone was afraid to starve once more.
“That’s not a trauma response, what’s wrong with food and light? I like food and light.” Winona shrugs defensively, and her voice softens, “Besides, I know you, I know my sister. I know you did what you did because something forced you to. I know you didn’t want to hurt anyone, not really.” She says, but her voice stabs me as she doubtfully adds, “… right, Charlie?”
I don’t have an answer. I don’t know where the shadows began and where I ended. Sometimes, most of the time, we were one and the same.
I wish she believed I didn’t want to harm anyone. I wish I could assure that.
“Fine, I’ll go to your dumb party.” I mutter, and she cheers.
After all, I owe her some happiness. Lord knows I took it from her for a really long time.